Lawmaker Leading Call for Arming Teachers Accidentally Shot a Teacher

A Republican state senator from Arkansas who is leading a legislative committee on the subject of giving guns to school teachers accidentally shot a teacher during an "active shooter" drill earlier this year, the local paper of record has uncovered.
Snake Expert Killed by Snake While Helping People With Fear of Snakes
A snake expert who dedicated his life to helping people overcome their fear of snakes died this week after being bitten by a viper during a snake demonstration.
Celebrity Psychic Cancels Show, Blames 'Unforeseen Circumstances'
Psychic medium to the Stars Derek Acorah has made quite a career for himself being a glorified Ouija board and OK! magazine's go-to prognosticator of vague celebrity tattle.
Man Wrongfully Imprisoned for 23 Years has Massive Heart Attack on Release
David Ranta was released from prison Thursday after serving 23 years for a crime he did not commit. On Friday however, his first full day of freedom, he suffered a serious heart attack and had to be rushed to an area hospital where he now waits to undergo several procedures that will hopefully clear blockages from his…
Employee at Stress-Ball Company Goes Apeshit on Boss, Coworkers
A temporary warehouse worker at a company that manufactures stress balls among other novelty items exploded with rage after being told by his manager that he was being let go.
Whoops: GOP Throwing Obama-Bashing 'We Built It' Convention Party Inside Arena Built with Government Dollars
Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus announced today that theme of the Republican National Convention's second night will be "We Built It" — a theme aimed at "highlight[ing] America's entrepreneurial strength and our people's incomparable work ethic," as well as extending the purposeful distortion of…
Anti-Semitic Hungarian Lawmaker Shocked to Learn His Grandparents Are Jewish Holocaust Survivors
A leading lawmaker in Hungary known for his rants against Jewish people was forced to resign from the far-right Jobbik Party after he publicly admitted to being a Jew himself.
Chick-fil-A Replaces Jim Henson Toys with Berenstain Bears Books that Promote the Golden Rule
After pulling all Jim Henson Creature Shop toys from its Kids Meals nationwide — allegedly over a safety issue and not the Jim Henson Company's very public boycotting statement — Chick-fil-A has unveiled its replacement "toy": A Berenstain Bears book that teaches children the Golden Rule.
Kleenex Hand Sanitizer Recalled for Containing Potentially Lethal Bacteria
Hygiene giant Kimberly-Clark announced yesterday that it was recalling hundreds of bottles of Kleenex-brand Luxury Foam Hand Sanitizer because they were found to contain bacteria that "may pose serious health risks to people with weakened immune systems."
Press-Stifling Dictator Wins Journalism Award
Venezuelan leader Hugo Chávez yesterday was awarded a prize from the communications department at Argentina's La Plata University for his support of "popular communication." Wow. We're assuming the award is for his stupid Twitter account? Or perhaps his talk show, Aló Presidente?
