It's a tale as old as time: boy meets car, boy fucks car, boy moves on, lives life, fucks more cars, gets confused, fucks human, falls in love (with car), settles down, keeps a few sidepieces, and fucks a helicopter here and there, too, whenever he can get it.

It took me a while to realize this, but people don't listen to advice. I'm not sure why. My sense is that we tend to learn life lessons through experience, and the warnings of others, even those that we solicit, have trouble penetrating through to the part of brain where "fire is hot" and "there is no such thing as a…