Suspect High on LSD Tells Cops He's Jack Bauer
A Seattle man tripping on LSD went down as the world's weirdest burglar this weekend after he unleashed his hallucinations on an unsuspecting neighbors' apartment.
Jack Bauer is Equitable, Beats Up Ladies Too
Lest you think that Jack Bauer is some kind of sexist, going around torturing only male terrorists to get vital intel, here's some proof to the contrary. Bonus: Freddie Prinze Jr. encouraging Chloe to let Jack do his thing.
What Should Jack Bauer Do Now that '24' Has Been Canceled?
Between the hours of 5 and 6PM on the eighth day of his anti-terror torture spree, pretend CIA Agent Jack Bauer will be ordered to stand down from your TV set. What should he do next?
Jack Bauer Interrogates a Bloodied-Up Santa Claus
In this never-aired, extended secret scene from 24, Jack Bauer interrogates the most jolly terrorist of them all: Santa.
Bush Era May Be Ending, But We'll Always Have Jack Bauer
The two-hour premiere of the new season of 24 is about to hit the internet in advance of the show's premiere next month. A mere 16 month after the show's last season ended, 24's producers have tried to silence complaints about haphazard plotting and unbelievable Deus ex machinas by plotting out the show's entire…
Kiefer Sutherland is Back as Jack Bauer In ... '22'?
There are few things in this world that can thwart 24's Jack Bauer — few things, that is, besides a WGA strike and an untimely stint in the Glendale City Jail. Forced to postpone the premiere of 24's seventh season from January 2008 to January 2009, Fox promised a make-good for tortured fans in the form of an…
Don't You Think Jack Bauer Deserves To Get The New iPhone A Few Weeks Early?
*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
So, You Don't Like The Outfit I Bought You?
In a Forgetting Sarah Marshall inspired moment of honesty, Kiefer Sutherland told his girlfriend, Siobhan Bonnouvrier, that he doesn't care that much for the clothing she picks out for him. Sutherland told his gal pal that he's far more comfortable in a V-Neck from American Apparel than the giant scarves the 24 star…
Listen, Jack Bauer Doesn't Hold Hands With Just Anybody, Babe
TV's Kiefer Sutherland shied away from even the very faintest sign of PDA while in New York City's Meatpacking district this morning. Sutherland seemed far too concerned with the commotion in the building across the way, wondering if he would have to be called into some 'neck snapping' action. In addition, Sutherland…
Jack Bauer To Torture Viewers With Worst 24 Yet
Fox's shameless televised brutality-orgy 24 is sorry about constantly torturing brown Islamic Muslims and their freedom-hating sympathizers for all those years, the TV show was just trying to fulfill America's revenge fantasies, sort of like the Iraq war. Fox has patriotically agreed to create a kinder, gentler 24,…
