Gawker: jackson+pollis

Gawker Gift Guide: Jackson Pollis Edition

Emily Gould — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 10:20:00 EST

The question isn't "Who on my list would like to receive an American Apparel size Medium t-shirt silkscreened with the likeness of underage MisShapes DJ Jackson Pollis?" The question is "(muffled tears and sound of head hitting desk.)" Anyway, should you have any interest in scoring what's sure to be the hottest item to be photographed in for a photo-twat website, there's a contest you can enter over at Imaginary Socialite. Imagine the looks on their faces as they unwrap this specialest of presents!

Give The Gift of Jackson! [Imaginary Socialite]
Earlier: Gawker Gift Guide

Kids Meal in 'Vice' Kiddie Porn Quadruplet Shocker

Emily Gould — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 09:20:00 EST

Tipsters have been steering our attention to this Vice spread by artist Ben Cho, who describes his subjects as "a group of 16-year-old quadruplets that I know. They were born and raised in Williamsburg, where they go to a private school." Also, about the one on the right, who bears a striking resemblance to MisShapes DJ Jackson "Action Jackson" Pollis:

"The one with the curl is named Penny. He's just a weirdo. He listens to Sonic Youth even though I would have guessed he was too young to like them. He's also into those bands like Psychic Ills, Lightning Bolt, and Gang Gang Dance. When he heard that a girl we know wanted to go out with him he said, "I don't do dates." He likes wearing band tees and shirts with slogans on them, with tight jeans and Vans or dress shoes."

Doesn't like girls, is a weirdo — sounds like Kids Meal to us. But what of his "sister" on the left? Well, we did hear that rumor about Jackson's "weird nipples." Could there be a J.T. Leroyish dimension of gender mindfuckery to this story? Will we ever know? Does anyone besides us still care? So many questions.

Ben Cho [Vice]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jackson Pollis

This Morning In Jackson Pollis Rumors

Emily Gould — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 08:40:00 EST

We feel a little bit bad about spreading all of these mean rumors about floppy-haired new MisShape Jackson Pollis — hell, we did some retarded things when we were 17, too! Well, not DJing-retarded, but still. But then we think about the money the 'Shapes are getting from their backpack endorsement deals etc and it makes us want to share with you that:

The kid is crazy young. He used to play drums in a family band with his brother — called James Pollis Band. The lead singer has a lisp, what's not to enjoy?'
'He just recently turned 17'
'Early this spring, Pollis Sr. asked if we knew about 'MisShapes', and went on to relish the fact that his teenage son was hanging out with Leigh: "Have you SEEN her? She's hot. He stays over at her place" My friend and I found this hilarious beacuse, well, because gayness is sort of a Poliis thing...and as LNP has broadly documented, Leigh was not the particular MisShapes flavor young Pollis was after.'
'He only recently became cool'
'He has weird nipples'

Oh, do keep sending them in!

Earlier: MisShapes 'It Boy' Lying About His Age on Myspace?!!?

MisShapes 'It Boy' Lying About His Age on his MySpace??!?!?

Emily Gould — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 11:00:00 EST

"Part of the reason why I think people may find me interesting is because the age part is very mysterious," MisShapes new addition Jackson "Kids Meal" Pollis wrote on his MySpace profile, where he claims to be 21. Well, we're going to clear up the mystery. But don't worry, Jackson — remember, the age part is only part of the reason.

A tipster writes:

Jackson Pollis is a senior at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, and is 17 years old. He did badly on his SATs. His older brother, James, attended Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School as an instrumental major, and is gay. He used to skateboard in Union Square with his BFFs Turner and Cosmo everyday. That is all.

Ok, we kind of don't know where to start with this tip. Tipster, why must you tantalize us so? Why does he no longer skateboard in Union Square with Turner and Cosmo? Are they no longer bffs? Has Jackson's storied (well, Village Voice storied, but still!) rise to internet-retard fame driven a wedge between them? Jackson's brother is gay how exactly? And, perhaps most importantly of all: HOW BADLY? Tell, tell!!

Earlier: Meet Jackson Pollis: Cousin Oliver to the MisShapes' Brady Bunch

Meet Jackson Pollis: Cousin Oliver to the MisShapes' Brady Bunch

Emily Gould — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:55:00 EST

Look, the MisShapes aren't dumb, okay? They know that part (ok, all) of their ability to maintain the notoriety that enables them nail down lucrative licensing deals like those uber-hip Eastsport ads lies in keeping people like us hating on them all the time. Our hatred fans the flame! We're part of the problem! But, not being dummies, they also know that the blaahhhgosphere is getting tired of trotting out all those lame-ass Princess Coldstare one-liners. Like a tv sitcom with flagging ratings, they figured that introducing a new character would help maintain people's interest. Hence: "It Boy" Jackson Pollis, the blonde DJ who wears those glasses to look more like Mark Ruffalo's character in Eternal Sunshine (really!) and who drops wisdom-nugs like "Part of the reason why I think people may find me interesting is because the age part is very mysterious," and "Growing up in Williamsburg, you really have to love art or film or music." Also, "'I'm like his number one fan,' says Ultragrrrl."

Oooh, we are trying to be contrarian and NOT hate him because it's what they want . . . but we are powerless to resist the forcefield of his douchery. You win again, MisShapes! Damn you, damn you!

Action Jackson [Village Voice]