The following is an interview in which Jaden Smith—son of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, brother of Willow—says that his goal in life is "to be the most craziest of all time." Everything he says previous to that statement will convince you that no human has ever conceived of a more achievable aspiration.

16-year-old mystic Jaden Smith released a song on Soundcloud last night called "Blue Ocean" and, well, it's very Jaden Smith. Like, "Everybody knows I'm a ghost but I can still dream"-level Jaden Smith. The Jaden Smith alert level is definitely at red (the color of the pyramids on Mars).

As details slowly begin to appear from yesterday's Westdashian nuptials, photos from the Kanyim photo booth have been shared on several celebrity Instagram accounts. Jaden Smith, who was in attendance as a prophet to bless the oxygen particles surrounding the couple, wore a white Batman costume.

Teens. Always rolling their eyes and making magical pyramids out of fiberglass resin, crystals, and metal shavings in an effort to protect themselves from the negative energies emitted by cell towers. A tale as old as time (itself a construct invented by humans unable to comprehend the concept of eternity).

In the year which we now represent as a grayish blue leaf shape meaning combination of hunger and embarrassment (stylized in the Western calendar as "2 0 0 6"), a tool was bestowed upon the people of Earth that would allow them to receive the one True and Perfect Holy Book, line by line, one transmission at a time.…

Taylor Swift's "shut the fuck up"—memorialized here in GIF form—was directed at her ex-boyfriend, One Direction's Harry Styles, who was at that moment on stage. But it's a pretty good review of the entire VMA experience:

That already pretty weird thing between Will Smith and his son Jaden got a hell of a lot weirder during a recent interview on Thai TV.

Here's a series of clips of Jaden Smith babbling about the realism of sci-fi (aliens are making it realer, and The Matrix and Star Trek are so close to how reality could be, FYI). He also compares acting after growing up in the Pinkett-Smith household to speaking French after growing up in France. That seems like…

The tagline of the new Will/Jaden Smith movie, After Earth, is: “Danger is real. Fear is a choice.” The movie, which was directed by the inexplicably still-working hack M. Night Shyamalan and based on a story devised by the elder Smith, hinges on the ability of its young protagonist Kitai (Jaden) to rid himself of…

While promoting their upcoming blockbuster After Earth, Will Smith and Will Smith: Nano (Jaden Smith) gave a very bonkers interview to New York magazine in which they espoused wondrous theories of high level imagimathematics previously published only on the wrinkled insides of fast food takeout bags in a frantic,…

Children: scaled-down versions of adults with shriller voices and less expensive jewelry. Their bodies are going through a lot of strange changes and they're starting to feel all different types of ways about friends..and enemies. Sometimes the boys trip over their too-big feet and land square in the arms of a girl…

They're just doing too much, and they're doing it in a weird way. Also today: Johnny Depp takes another dose of whimsy, some shows get some actors, and a look at this year's Sundance crop.

Oprah consoled depression with the biggest mac 'n' cheese binge in history. Kelsey Grammer likes to wear women's panties. Johnny Weir realized he was gay while watching Pretty Woman. Keira Knightley is single. Thursday gossip eats its emotions.

Paparazzi terrorize Britney, who just wants to shop. 12-year-old Jaden Smith gets his first bodyguard. Lindsay Lohan's driving privileges are restored. Milli Vanilli star works on weird comeback. Wednesday gossip makes a list and checks it twice.

Kanye West's Twitter apology shocks a nation on vacation. Chelsea Clinton: smooching. Sam and Ronnie: Also smooching. Justin Bieber: dancing with Will Smith's son. Sunday Gossip Round up is like a flower petal caught in a wild stallion's mane.

The pre-July 4th weekend brought two soaring successes and a few miserable failures, adding more drama to this rollercoaster summer movie season. Let's take a look at the week before America's birthday.