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Posts Tagged “
Jakob Lodwick
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One Post Wonders: Blogs That Died at Birth
From the hoary old crypts of the most ancient corners of the Internet comes a massively awesome collection of blogs that no one cared about. Like whatever it was that Jakob Lodwick invented, but worse! Each began with one post from some cyber-dreamer, and that one post has been preserved, all on its lonesome, to this day. For instance: More »
not afraid to be servicey
How To Not Storm Off the Internet in a Huff
Yesterday, a grown man threw a tantrum and stormed off the internet. Because we bullied him. It wasn't pretty. Are we proud? Well, it's a living. We spent today mulling over some wise advice we received. And, of course, it's true. We should be constructive! In the spirit of friendship, we'll explain how to survive the Internet without letting the bastards get you down. Heed our words, and you'll never have to shut down another blog. Or quit a message board, or ban yourself from a comments section. Never again will you hear the sirens of the waaaahmbulance. More »
jakob lodwick
World's Saddest Millionaire Quits Internet
Jakob Lodwick, the entrepreneur who still takes Ayn Rand seriously even though he presumably graduated high school, is off the net because of you. He half-quit once before, back in February, when he was concerned that people were being mean to him because he over-shared too much personal information. Now people are being mean to him because he's patently ridiculous, which means he has to scale back his internet presence even more. All because he wanted to learn about China! Lodwick, who is famous because the streaming video site he founded before YouTube failed to become as popular or successful, says, "I may be a millionaire but I this sort of thing still hurts." Like Molly the Bear, Lodwick cannot understand anyone's hostility toward him. After the jump, the 2 a.m. email your day editor received from the 15-year-old girl who took over the 25-year-old tech entrepreneur's body. More »
not afraid to be servicey
You are pretty much everything that is wrong with everything. Read a goddamn book. You are seriously the worst. [The Tumblr That Represents All That Is Wrong and Evil In This World]
In Which We Help Jakob Lodwick Understand "China"
You are pretty much everything that is wrong with everything. Read a goddamn book. You are seriously the worst. [The Tumblr That Represents All That Is Wrong and Evil In This World]
crossovers
The Unlikely Confluence of Julia Allison's Techboys in Esquire
Vimeo's Jakob Lodwick, the ex-man of both Star talking head Julia Allison and her BFF Mary's little sister, 18-year-old soap star Leven Rambin, is in Esquire this month. He's finally fulfilled his dream of becoming a model! (They featured boys of the web, who got to keep their clothes on.) Meanwhile, Iminlikewithyou's Charles Forman, pictured on the left, has finally fulfilled his dream of dating Julia Allison. And now they're pictured in the same spread—awkward! Click to enlarge. [via AlleyInsider]
critical stalker
The Fameball Game
Last night I decided to play a little game to pass time at the gym: take the treadmill in front of the window, overlooking Broadway, and run until I saw somebody famous walk by. Exactly thirty minutes later, Vimeo-founding Julia Allison-ex and web-boy Jakob Lodwick strolled past, as if on cue. Damn. I was hoping for SJP. Thanks, Internet.
Flaming Balls of Douche
Jakob Lodwick is Sick of Your Infernal Minimum Wage
Why all the poverty in America? Vimeo-founding Julia Allison-ex and tedious fameball douche Jakob Lodwick thinks it's because all those poor, poor corporations are forced to pay a minimum wage that many prospective workers are simply not qualified for. In a rhetorical interview with himself (Oh, what a device!) Lodwick sure does make some convincing arguments. More »
casting call
Julia Allison, The Movie
It's either a belated April Fool's joke or a stroke of genius: College Humor-ists Sam Reich and Ricky Van Veen have just completed a script called "Jakob and Julia," at least according to a post on Reich's Tumblr. If you look closely at the photo of the script (reproduced after the jump), you can see it is addressed to "__???____ Agency" at a Beverly Hills, California zip code. This implies a screenplay (as opposed to a Broadway musical) about, of course, the doomed relationship between Star editor-at-large Julia Allison and Vimeo co-founder Jakob Lodwick. This raises so many questions: Real or fake? Movie or TV pilot? And, most critically, which Hollywood stars should play Julia and Jakob? Post your answers in the comments. After the jump, videographer Loren Feldman's December 2007 dramatization of the Julia-Jakob relationship. UPDATE: Plus a short email from Ricky Van Veen. Sounds like a joke. More »
Did You Think There'd Be No JA Today?
Here is cute-to-some, hateful-to-others Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison singing along to Madonna in a sushi place. Watch it!
Here is cute-to-some, hateful-to-others Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison singing along to Madonna in a sushi place. Watch it!
manhattan media clusterfuck
Jakob Lodwick Thinks He's "Diluting" Mary Rambin's "Brand"
Total class: Vimeo founder Jakob Lodwick explains about "this girl Mary [Rambin]," the handbag designer-or-whatever and Julia Allison bestfriend (whose seventeen-year-old sister he shagged), revealing why he's named his moustache after her. It's because she said he "looked like an idiot" via a deleted blogpost... (She wasn't wrong, but later apologized.) "Since she's not currently well-known, if my readers later hear her name in a legitimate context, they'll think of my moustache. I'm diluting her name and her brand..." More »
julia allison
Mark Zuckerberg In The Presence
Admit it: Julia Allison is irrepressible. The Star magazine talking head abandoned her personal blog because it was ruining her life; and broke up with her webtard boyfriend, Jakob Lodwick, because he slept with her "adopted" little sister and was crushed commercially by Youtube. But she's merely moved up the internet food chain. On photo sharing service Flickr, Allison shows her act is still fresh outside New York. Here, at the SXSW conference in Austin, Texas, she pushes out her chest into friending distance of the alpha geek of the moment, Mark Zuckerberg. Coincidentally, the Facebook founder was recently named by Forbes as the world's youngest billionaire.
white whine
We Are All Jakob Lodwick Now
Jakob Lodwick has a black roommate! And a surprisingly funny post on the fake Nick Denton blog calls him out on how he might passive-aggressively promote this fact. In that post the fictional version of Gawker's publisher talks to the fictional version of Julia Allison's ex about cultivating smugness. But acting high and mighty just for having black friends and not drinking bottled water isn't just Jakob's beat; it's how all of us act. "All of us" means those of us who care enough about the world to blog. More »
webtards
Jakob Lodwick Officially Goes Insane
Jakob Lodwick's back from blogging! The recently fired founder of Vimeo and ex-boyfriend of Star editor-at-large Julia Allison says he'll no longer hand loaded guns to thugs, which apparently means fewer topless self-portraits and embarrassing self-revelations, and more news about his startup. It's called Normative and, since starting really pretty web sites is Jakob's talent (which is the only reason I pay attention to him), it will probably be interesting if utterly unprofitable. Also, he's going to end all government involvement in the private sector! And he's starting a third blog just to list the things that he, Jakob, likes. So here's a quick guide to Jakob's three blogs: More »
julia allison
"You're going to get burned"
As you know, Julia Allison, the Time Out dating columnist, is providing free advice at the Dunkin' Donuts Toast Tent in Herald Square. (Hurry!) For a young student-reporter she dispensed the following wisdom: "What goes around comes around! If you know, you're going to write down, say stuff about people, you... and you choose to write about your relationship publicly. You're going to get burned. I think it's in general a horrible idea. Aside from changing our Facebook status from single to attached, that is just about as far as you should go." (Click the thumb for the scratchy audio. Yes, the student-reporter was a Gawker spy.) The compulsive fameball forgot to mention that she knows the perils of self-publishing from personal experience. By blogging every turn of her relationship with College Humor's Jakob Lodwick, including a mention of his bipolar condition, Allison complains she's scared off her last three suitors. And it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. CLIP »
the social network
Manhattan Media Clusterfuck
Who needs Gossip Girl? Manhattan's real-life dramas are so much more intricate, petty, and intertwined. Publicity whore Julia used to date Jake, Barry's former toyboy, who was bipolar, which might explain why he dated jailbait Leven, who was friends with Britney's younger sister, who's pregnant. Leven now sees Hud, though he once shared a bed with perfume promoter Alan, who's married (to a man!); Hud looks increasingly like his former boss, Lloyd, who introduced him to Julia when the dating columnist and TV commentator moved to New York. Bad move: Julia published a photo of him in a red scarf, looking Lloyd-like, and now Hud's pissed: he yelled at her at the Beatrice, even though pretty-boy Fabian and Chloë were there. (Wasn't she in some movies?) Sooo embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as Julia totally stealing Chloë's red dress (not nearly as nice as the ones designed by Barry's beard, Diane) for Valentine's Day. Or when Emily, Julia's new best friend, hinted that Josh was a premature ejaculator; he certainly got revenge. CLICK FOR CHART »
the internets
Jakob Lodwick's Panty Raid
Just in time for Valentine's Day, Jakob Lodwick—New York's eligible-ish bachelor, web boy, and "burgeoning music entrepreneur"—tells us his "new favorite website." It's called Knicker Picker, the "online dressing room." You simply select a panty model, and dress her up (or down) in whatever lingerie you choose! You can have her "turn around" or "come closer," and she'll oblige without so much as a peep. Which is so perfect, really.More »
stardom
