Gawker: Jalopnik

Left of the dial…

Moe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:34:17 EDT

Yo check it out, a map with all the NPR stations! "If you know where you are, this map can tell you where to tune," says the description. Yes, NPR affiliates are usually relatively simple to detect by employing the two-pronged strategy of "pressing seek" and "listening for telltale overeducated barbituate user voice" but this is for people who need to make absolutely sure they are listening to the right station. (NPR listeners, yes!) It probably wasn't necessary to give those people an extra map to consult while cruising down the nation's interstates, but what do we care we barely leave the house anyway. [Uncommon Goods]

Papers Pin Hopes On Revival Of Dying Auto Companies

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:03:11 EDT

There's no question the auto industry—particularly the US auto industry—is currently in the toilet. There's also no question that bad times for the auto industry lead to cuts in car companies' advertising budgets, which hurts the print and broadcast media outlets that reap billions from automakers every year. That's not news to anybody. What is news is the revelation that prospects for the print media have grown so dim that they are now celebrating the fact of declining auto ads, as proof that they're at the mercy of temporary business cycles beyond their control. Wow, that's sad:

Newspapers nationwide lost more than $130 million last year in auto ad sales. Car ads have gone from 10% of national newspaper ads, to less that 3% in just three years. That's terrible by any standards. Magazines are experiencing a similar decline. So how to put this disaster in a good light?

Amid this gloom is actually good news for traditional media because the effects of the auto downturn suggest that the impact of the Internet on the business models of newspapers, magazines and broadcast television is being exacerbated by more cyclical forces. And cycles turn.

“If the economy were better, newspapers would be better, and we’d be having a slightly different conversation,” said Mr. Goldstrom, of the newspaper association.

If the economy were better, we'd be having a different conversation! And if newspapers were printed on $100 bills they would be more popular. Print media has come to realize that the internet represents a fundamental shift in their business model, not some temporary cycle. But they're clinging to the hope that the auto industry, of all things, is in a mere momentary slump.

The auto industry is not in a momentary slump! Gas prices, global warming, etc. (Insert standard explanation here). GM was once one of the mightiest companies on earth. Now it can't pay its dental insurance. Besides this vague, unfounded optimism that things will turn around, there's not a shred of evidence in the story (even from marketing execs) that anyone is actually counting on car ads coming back to their earlier levels. Maybe when they invent viable electric cars, in 20 years or so. Until then: you newspapers better find someone else to sell to.

[NYT]

What Black Women Want: Toyota Espionage

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:26:45 EDT

Black women these days: they're just not buying enough Toyota Camrys. The car company's ad agency rep explains the problem: "[Black women] think of it as suburban, not urban; as solid but boring. And for this woman, she doesn't see herself as boring." Ha, you go girl! Well, ladies, Toyota likes to think of all of its customers as "sisters." And it knows just how to get you elusive African-American females to buy more of their boring suburban cars—with a crazy online fashion espionage game! Coincidentally, there's a black woman in it. And a Camry!

In the game, which makes its debut today, Bianca, a good-looking assistant designer at an urban fashion house, finds herself — and her new 2009 Camry — enmeshed in a world of espionage. A $5 million print, radio and online campaign that will run in media primarily consumed by African-American women aims to drive the target demographic to iflookscouldkill.com, a site where "fashion and espionage collide," said Susan Bonds, president of 42 Entertainment.

Naturally, Bianca's unwitting involvement in spy tradecraft will be assisted by Camry's onboard Bluetooth, navigation and push-button ignition system, all features that will be "seamlessly integrated" into the content, Ms. Bonds said.

Why Camry hasn't caught on with African-American women is something of a mystery.

Probably not enough espionage!

[Ad Age]

Financial Gurus Like Hyundai's Checks, Are Neutral On Their Cars

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:20:04 EDT

Larry Winget: bald person, financial guru, Hyundai pitchman. He's one of several financial authors who appear incongruously in Hyundai's current ad campaign, which features some "normal" people who, upon seeing an anonymous man in a tie pop up behind them at a car dealership and offer advice, react by saying excitedly, "Hey! Aren't you [financial author] of [personal finance advice book]?!" Whereas a real person would probably kick them in the nuts. The funny thing is that bald financial guru and Hyundai pitchman Larry Winget now says he doesn't necessarily want people to buy Hyundais at all!

None of us are suggesting that you immediately run out and buy a Hyundai or any other car. I know I am not. My point in doing the commercial is that IF you need a car at least buy one that has cash back and zero percent financing. And it is a reminder that a good car doesn't always come with a high price tag. All of the "gurus" agreed on those points.

I'll tell you what all the "gurus" agreed on: your personal finance situation will be greatly enhanced by starring in Hyundai commercials. Here's Larry's commercial—is he suggesting you run out and buy this crappy car or what?

[via Galleycat]

Gymnasts Can't Stop Flipping For Audi

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:38:01 EDT

This is an admittedly very cool new ad for Audi, in which a whole bunch of "powerful Hungarian gymnasts" run through an impeccably choreographed routine of flips and, uh, other gymnastic moves that are meant to symbolize the inner workings of the Audi RS6's engine. The car costs over $150,000, so it better have some damn fine inner workings [Guardian UK]. Our only issue with the ad is that they could have gotten the break dance crew in Washington Square Park to do this entire routine for about $87, so if they paid the Hungarians more than that, they just got ripped off. Click to watch the automotive performance art.

BMW, Mercedes Embarrassed By Nazi Orgy

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:36:22 EDT

If you've been following the real news, you'll recall that Max Mosley is the British Formula 1 racing president who is currently involved in a slight tiff over a video of him having an hours-long Nazi-themed orgy with five hookers. A bit embarrassing for him personally, yes. It's also caused some grumbling among the Formula 1 teams. And now, this sex scandal is reaching its absurd logical conclusion, as its ripples extend into the highest reaches of the world's corporations: BMW and Mercedes-Benz have jointly condemned Mosley's sexual taste as "disgraceful." [BBC]. Because they are the arbiters of morality in sexuality! They're also a bit sensitive about the whole Nazi angle, because, you know, they're from Germany themselves.

Mosley himself pointed out, in response to their joint condemnation of him:

Given the history of BMW and Mercedes-Benz, particularly before and during the Second World War, I fully understand why they would wish to strongly distance themselves from what they rightly describe as the disgraceful content of these publications.

Zing? Honda and Toyota also issued somewhat more mealy-mouthed statements on the affair, generically calling for "high standards of behavior" among senior officials.

But why? BMW/ Mercedes said in their statement that because of Mosley's position, the scandal's "consequences therefore extend far beyond the motorsport industry." Really? Because unless I missed something, it consisted of a leaked tape of a man pursuing his own, admittedly kinky and extreme, sex life. You could be forgiven for thinking that it's more disgraceful for executives at some of the world's largest auto companies to spend hours viewing Mosly's private sex tape in order to determine their own high-handed response.

These companies have never been shy about using sex to sell their products. Indeed, sex is a basic staple of auto marketing, from its TV commercials to the models at its trade shows. And does anyone believe that Mosley is actually a Nazi because he has a fetish? By that logic, lots of otherwise straitlaced executives at corporations around the world would in fact be dungeon masters or slaves or tigers or Catholic schoolgirls.

Mosley is thus far standing firm in his decision not to resign.

How To Flick Off A Hummer

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 10:36:41 EST

"My brother did 3 tours in Iraq so someone could drive around in this!?!?!!?" That's what Rebecca from Minneapolis wants to know about this stupid Hummer. So she flipped the bastard off! Luckily for her, there's a website called FUH2.com, devoted exclusively to pictures of people flipping off Hummers (H2 version only). We judge this to be a good thing. After the jump, five pictures illustrating the different styles that patriotic Americans have used to give the gas-guzzling monsters the one-finger salute. May this be the first step towards justice in the world!

A double!

A cyber!

A showroom!

A moonshot!

A Happy Meal!

[via Kottke]

For SUV-Driving Hipsters, Marlow and Sons Is The Spot

Joshua Stein — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:20:04 EST

Those few of you watching the commercials during Desperate Housewives last night might have been buoyed to spot Williamsburg hipster feeding trough Marlow and Sons, the home of the world's worst hipster date conversation ever. It was in a commercial for an SUV called Edge. So now it is confirmed that Marlow & Sons is where all the hipsters with $30K to drop on a SUV go for oysters and artisanal American cheese. Related: We hear that the creative director for J. Walter Thomspon, the ad firm that produced the spot, quit today!

The Face Behind The Ferrari

Joshua Stein — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 14:20:59 EDT

Remember that semiotically rich Ferrari that was parked outside our offices a couple weeks ago? We wondered, at the time, exactly what kind of man (of course, a man) drove it. What kind of man would drive around with a Sir Ivan CD and an old issue of Time? Well, today, coming back from lunch, we met that guy. He was dashing out of the building next to ours before a traffic cop gave him the ticket he so deservedly deserved. By now his Ferrari top was off and his passenger side seemed cleaner. Our eyes locked for a moment and in that instant I understood what it meant to wear flip flops and flared jeans, what it meant to let grayish-blond chest hair extrude from a striped shirt, what it meant to smell of Aqua Di Gio and drive a Ferrari. (It doesn't feel good.) And then he was gone. Fortunately, his face was etched into our memory forever.

Our best police sketch artists have come up with this:

Who Wants To Marry An Ex-Junkie Sportscar Millionaire?

Emily Gould — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 15:50:46 EDT

Sure, it would be easy to read the Observer's profile of Fiat heir Lapo Elkann and get all ladyishly offended. Lapo does seem have that noblesse oblige thing going on, especially when it comes to his dealings with the fairer sex! Seriously, what kind of guy sits down to an interview, checks out the waitress, and says, "Usually this place has ugly waitresses, but this one is a very delicate and elegant one, I must say"? But maybe that's just Lapo being... refreshingly honest! Uh oh... what is this feeling? Do I actually have a crush on a Euro-jerk with an anchor necklace who characterizes his conquests as like "flowers in a vase—they need to be changed every couple days"? Dad, why were you not around more when I was little?

Ahem. Anyway! You know what else is appealing about Lapo? How open he is about his recovery. Well, except the part where he OD'd with a tranny. That, he won't talk about.

I was complaining and I looked only at the dark side of life, thinking that things would never come back to sunshine, and instead, things went much better than what I thought and they changed," he said. "New York gave me the opportunity to look inside myself, and take care of myself, and to start loving myself the right way, and I have to thank this city for it. It's a city who puts you immediately into perspective. It's a city which is very tough and very real, so you have to look at things with reality, taking away the bullshit.

Seriously: honest, smart, rich, and kind of an asshole! Be still my beating heart.

Fiat's Frisky Prince of the City [NYO]

What's Inside A Ferrari?

Joshua Stein — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 09:40:43 EDT

For about ten minutes yesterday, a Ferrari was parked in front of our office on Crosby Street in SoHo. Since such a car usually has some jerkface inside, we rarely take the chance to peek in and see what's going on on the passenger side. We've been missing out! Let's take a closer look at what we found and annotate the damage!

1) Paul Oakenfold CD: Mr. Oakenfold's trance music is likely to be blasted out the sound system. This album, we think, is the V2 Tranceport which is most likely designed specifically to be blasted by some single rich dude as he drives around Soho's cobblestone street and ruins his chassis.

2) The other CD visible is by Sir Ivan, a "banker-turned-singer" and eldest son of legendary financier and philanthropist Siggi B. Wilzig." "In 2000, while listening to John Lennon's "Imagine" on an oldies station, Sir Ivan was suddenly struck by the lyrics, and how closely they mirrored his own beliefs." Oh man, go to his website, turn your volume down and read the Sir Ivan Story. So worth it!

3) June 11, 2007 copy of Time. What is it that Mr. Ferrari could be interested in? We're going with Ocean's 13: The Interview but perhaps we're underestimating our man was drawn to the trend piece on used clothing.

4) Three books of CDs. I can only assume their filled with more of the same. (Von Von Von, Felix Da Housecat, some Dylan from high school.)

5) Fiji Water. Of course he's drinking Fiji Water. Poland Spring is too pedestrian and Voss just rolls around too much on a tight corner.

Ask A Gay: Does This Car Make Me Look Gay?

Emily Gould — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 11:12:48 EDT

In a blatant bid for "most-emailed" status, the Times has published an article about whether some cars are more homosexual than others. Well, it's a step up from all those "College: Will Your Child Get In, Or Did You Fuck Up Your Life And Hers?" articles! Anyway, "Gay By Design, or a Lifestyle Choice" left some questions unanswered. So we asked them of a Gay.

Memily: "Mr. Johnson maintains that "soft lines" and a "vibrant personality" — say like those on a Volkswagen New Beetle — are typical attributes of a gay man's car."
Story: I can't... this ARTICLE!!! I... How can it be?
Memily: I ask the questions here, gay. Besides soft lines and a vibrant personality, what are some other typical attributes of a gay man's car, in your experience?
Story: I like a car to have a kind of shelf-like ass, myself. And nipples. nipples are good.
Memily: Hmm, you mean like a hatchback Volvo? Actually that sounds too lesbian.
Story: It does. Very Berkeley-adjacent Oakland. I was thinking more of a certain type of mid-90's Honda. Or maybe that's for the rice queens. Was that racist? Or *about* racism?
Memily: Oh definitely the latter.
Story: I can never tell these days.
Memily: Oh! Well, here is how to tell! Before you say a thing, ask yourself: Am I from some marginalized group that could be argued to have struggled some struggle parallel to that of the group I'm maybe-maligning? If the the answer is "yes," you're in the clear.
Story: That is one nifty guide. Did you go to Bennington or something?
Memily: Close!
Story: I mostly love that this article notes that Meghan Daum still has a job. But anyway. Yes?
Memily: Randall Jarrell's Pictures From An Institution has been argued to be about Bennington OR Kenyon. Fun fact!
Story: That fact is fun!
Memily: N E ways. The best thing about this article (and yeah, Meghan Daum, WTF?) is that it's all about how gays, because they're selfish, have more money and buy fancier cars (unless they're lesbians in which case they buy Subarus). But then this is how it ends: "On Gaywheels.com, one indicator of actual gay buying trends is the list of vehicles most frequently researched. As of last October, the Toyota Yaris, a $12,000 economy car, led that list, followed by the Toyota Camry, which was the No. 3-selling car in America last year. It would be hard to find a more conventional automobile. " So are gays, like... Just Like Us?
Story: Oh, I love the "facts at the end of the trend piece as a stealthy retraction" principle.
Memily: Well, clearly. My friend Lori has a Yaris. She calls it "Yari" because she used to have another car called "Carry."
Story: Ha!
Memily She's straight though. Mostly!
Story: GayWheels.com is owned by the delightfully named "Targeted Diversity Marketing, LLC."
Memily That's where all the money is these days! Targeting things to diversity.
Story: That's what we're all about too! Also their publisher is like a hot version of Andrew Sullivan.
Memily: That's weirdly not hard to imagine. Oh, look, now I don't have to! Um, "hot." He looks like he might drive a Subaru, dude.
Story: Whatever. I'm lonely. I HAVE NO CAR.
Memily: Aw, me neither. But then, I'm heterosexual, so it's clearly not as important to my identity.
Story: You're not diverse. You just murdered Princess Di.
Memily: Nah, I would have needed a car for that!
Story: At least one.
Memily: So. Gays drive. Now we know.
Story: I would like to say this though: I feel like this gay car thing sort of resembles the infamous dolphin.sex.fag. Err FAQ. excuse me! I don't know why they resemble each other, but perhaps it's that they're both parodies of something.
Memily: I don't know what you're talking about YET AGAIN.
Story: N00B. http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html
Memily: Yeah, I guess it would have been weird for me to know about this when I was fifteen.
Story: You'll be old one day soon. But not, apparently, gay.

Gay By Design? [NYT]

The 'NYT' Jumps On The Alternative Energy Bandwagon

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 14:26:21 EDT

Quick! If you can get over to West 43rd St. by 10:45, you'll witness what will undoubtedly be an awkward presentation featuring several NYT executives and some car people unveiling the Times' new "plug-in hybrid sprinter van" before it takes its very first drive from Midtown to the Times printing plant in Queens. Truly, this is an historic moment, but really, until Sewell Chan gets a Prius we're not convinced that the paper is really doing anything to help the environment. The internal memo (what, no press release?) after the jump.

THE NEW YORK TIMES LAUNCHES THE FIRST PLUG-IN HYBRID SPRINTER
VAN ON THE EAST COAST AND FIRST OF ITS KIND IN NEW YORK STATE

VAN TO TAKE ITS MAIDEN RUN FROM MIDTOWN TO

THE NEW YORK TIMES PLANT IN QUEENS

WHAT:
The first plug-in hybrid medium duty vehicle on the east coast and in New York State will be unveiled.

The New York Times will collect data for three years for the New York Power Authority, DaimlerChrysler, Electric Power Research Institute and ConEdison. The Dodge Sprinter plug-in hybrid vehicle can operate up to 20 miles in zero-emission electric mode or as a traditional hybrid with a diesel engine. A plug-in hybrid lends itself to a commercial application because it can be recharged with a 220-volt outlet overnight. The New York Times vehicle is among the first in a test fleet operating in the United States.

WHO:
Executives from The New York Times, DaimlerChrysler, New York Power Authority, Electric Power Research Institute and ConEdison.

WHEN:
Wednesday, April 11

10:45 a.m.

WHERE:
In front of The New York Times building

229 West 43rd Street between 7th and 8th Avenues

New York City

First Responders: New York Auto Show

abalk2 — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 14:01:07 EDT

If you've read Jalopnik—or seen the endless stream of posts they send over our way, some of them tangentially related to New York—you'll know that this is the week of the annual New York Auto Show. But what do New Yorkers know about cars? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

Previously: Whole Foods

Julia Allison Gets A Parking Ticket. Yes, We're Sure.

abalk2 — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:20:34 EDT

She may not have been dumped by Dave Zinczenko, but we know for a fact that former dating columnist Julia Allison did get a parking ticket today. We wouldn't believe ourselves either, but we've got video to prove it! Watch and enjoy; there's something oddly endearing about her. Maybe we should start TiVoing "Red Eye." Okay, let's not go overboard. —balk and balk alone

Celebrity Vehicular Manslaughter Amnesia Drives Us Crazy

Emily Gould — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 17:30:00 EST

Today, TMZ broke the news that Moesha star and sometime filler of the token seat on the View Brandy had struck another car with her Land Rover, which then struck another car whose driver was killed. We joked that everyone would soon forget all about the incident, just like they did when sometime Noxema spokesgal and wife of someone on Grey's Anatomy Rebecca Gayheart hit and killed a 9 year old in 2001. But that's just the tip of the 'famous people who have killed with their cars then gone on to be famous like nothing ever happened' iceberg . . .

When you think of frequent Gawker Stalkee Matthew Broderick, what's the first thing that pops into your mind? Kind of a tossup between Ferris Bueller's Day Off, married to Sarah Jessica Parker, 'is he gay?' and, we dunno, The Producers, right? Well, there's one blot on his resume that's a bit more damaging than Inspector Gadget, and it was news to us (though we're sure not to many of you). From Wikipedia:

Broderick met actress Jennifer Grey on the set of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. On August 5, 1987, she was with him as he drove on a rain-soaked road on the outskirts of Enniskillen in Northern Ireland. Broderick drove his rented BMW 316 head-on into another car carrying 63-year-old Margaret Doherty and her 30-year-old daughter Anna Gallagher; both women were killed. Broderick had to be cut out of the car; he suffered facial lacerations and a broken thigh. Grey escaped with minor injuries. Broderick had no memory of the event, whilst Grey was distracted at the moment of the accident in the process of changing audio tapes and also remembered seeing nothing. The lack of witnesses, skid marks or other evidence led Broderick to plead guilty in absentia on February 15, 1988 to the lesser charge of careless driving. He was fined 100.

That's a fun one, eh? But maybe the best of all is this incident:

According to the two-page accident report, Laura Welch was driving her Chevrolet sedan on a clear night shortly after 8 p.m. on Nov. 6, 1963, when she drove into an intersection and struck a Corvair sedan driven by 17-year-old Michael Douglas. Although previous news accounts have reported Douglas was thrown from the car and broke his neck, those details were not in the report.

Douglas died. Laura Welch, of course, grew up to become First Lady Laura Bush. On the one hand, we suppose it's nice to know that people are so forgiving. On the other hand, there seem to be no lasting repercussions for famous people who commit vehicular manslaughter. Buckle up!

Matthew Broderick [Wikipedia]
Mrs. Bush Ran Stop Sign In Fatal Crash [USA Today]

Lies Well Disguised: CE-nO

abalk2 — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:00:14 EST

Last year, an amoebic cosmic blob supplanted the male CEO ego as the largest known thing in the universe.

Occasionally, the over-confident CEO, spurred on by a cabal of sycophantic Yes men, decides it would be a smart move to be the talent in his company's TV commercials. Ad agencies LOVE sticking boss man into the spots—it saves their lazy asses from having to come up with any original ideas, plus it's then pretty damn unlikely that the CEO will fire them.

Occasionally, rarely, it actually works. Frank Perdue sold a lot of poultry. But then, Perdue just happened to look a helluva lot like a chicken.

Lee Iacocca doesn't look like a car. He looks like Old. Yet in 2005, floundering Chrysler perplexingly picked their former CEO as a pitchman, apparently to attract that lucrative 70+ driving demo. Shitty bloated ad agency BBDO lamely threw in Snoop Dog as a last-gasp grasp at younger consumers. The only good thing that came out of this campaign was that Iacocca gave his fee to a diabetes foundation (his wife died from the disease).

That $75 million failure was followed up last summer by ...another comedic CEO campaign (un-believable) from the same shitty bloated ad agency, this time featuring the antics of the Teutonic head of parent DaimlerChrysler, Dieter "Dr. Z" Zetsche.

Gee, do you think it worked? The sales numbers say nein.

My favorite CEO-powered adwork of all time is the memorable broadcast work for Carvel ice cream featuring the raspy, sometimes unintelligible voice of Greek-immigrant and New Yorker Tommy Carvel. He employed grade school kids to help him with the artwork and voiceover in his spots. You only needed to hear him say "Cookie Puss" (below right) once, and it was burned into your brain forever. He died in his sleep in 1990 at the age of 84. Long live Fudgie The Whale!

One of these is the face of success.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a Big Fat Lie. Advertising copywriter copyranter brings you instances of Ad Lies and the Lying Liars who sell them.

Earlier: Fashion ads. EDGY.

Gawker Media January Junkets

Chris Mohney — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 11:20:52 EST

While we're sitting here in New York enjoying the global warming, all the cool kids from the "office" are on the road. Both crews of supernerds from Gizmodo and Kotaku are hitting the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Also in Vegas are a few worthies from Fleshbot, covering the Adult Video News Awards. Lastly, Jalopnik is filing reports from the hoon-packed floor of the Detroit Auto Show. Travel vicariously through their mellifluous reportage.

CES2007 [Gizmodo]
CES2007 [Kotaku]
AVN 2007 [Fleshbot]
Detroit Auto Show 2007 [Jalopnik]

Person of the Year: Is You or Isn't You?

Chris Mohney — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 11:50:16 EST

In other news from Time's Person of the Year selection of "You," a small coda related to automaker Chrysler forking over millions to be the sole POTY sponsor. As Daniel Radosh points out, several of their genius ads began with the tagline "You Might Not Be Time Person of the Year." But then again, You might, and in fact, You are! Give Yourself a hand, and buy a Chevrolet while You're at it.

Chrysler might not be tearing up holiday bonuses as you read this [Radosh]

Earlier: 'Time' Person of the Year: You Can't Be Serious

Schnapps Idea: No NASCAR for Staten Island

Chris Mohney — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:20:37 EST

So sad: It appears the beautiful dream of planting a NASCAR track on New York's forgotten borough has finally died, languishing in the spectral headlock-hug of resident opposition. We were about to direct disappointed fans to the NASCAR Cafe in Times Square, but apparently there is no NASCAR Cafe in Times Square. We'd assumed one had just inevitably sprouted there by now. However, from death comes life, as with an SI councilman's resurrection of the phrase "schnapps idea" to characterize the track proposal — i.e., something that seems great after you've had a few drinks. With that name, the recurring column proposal pretty much writes itself. Stay tuned.

Plan for Nascar Speedway Is Scrapped on Staten Island [NYT via Curbed]

Introducing the Next Generation of Debutards

Doree Shafrir — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:55:08 EST

You may have already tired of the current crop of debutards—we admit we've been hitting the Tinz pretty hard lately—but fortunately, a new class was sworn in Saturday night in Paris, WWD reports. In the grand tradition of debutard balls, the new ladies are an international array of the well-born and the sort-of well-bred. We've got Hannah Olivennes, daughter of Kristin Scott Thomas, who had these wise words: "I wasn't going to do it initially, but who would turn down the possibility of wearing Chanel couture?" Or Upper East Side "princess" (per WWD) Angela Mellon (pictured in her mermaid-ish Christian Lacroix gown at right), who said, "I came for fashion week and picked out my dress at the show." Then there's Caroline Ghosn, whose father is the chairman of Renault and Nissan chairman:

"Isn't this the best?" said Ghosn, a first-year student at Stanford, as her boyfriend, Vladimir Tenev, knelt on one knee to help her slip into her shimmering slippers. "Just like Cinderella."

Somehow, we have a feeling Ghosn's coach didn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight.

Age of Innocence [WWD]

Lies Well Disguised: A December to Dismember

abalk2 — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 10:10:45 EST

It's that time of year again. Time to observe how ad agency and "brand architects" Team One—part of the Saatchi & Saatchi billion dollar clusterfuck of agencies, which is part of the even bigger Publicis global ad conglomerape—attempts to lure middle class consumers into further debt by gifting a fucking Lexus.

In this season's first spot, Hubby leads eyes-wide-shut Wifey out of their surprisingly modest rancher, which now must have a second or third mortgage attached to it. Meanwhile, a gaggle of gawking neighbors, including one beautifully-cast black family, has already gathered curbside to watch the joyous big red bow moment (How did they know? Hubby must've texted all of them.).

Thing is, this bullshit has worked.

By turning a non-gift luxury item into a surprise $50,000 holiday present, Lexus now sells more cars in December— traditionally the slowest car-sales period of the year—than any other month. That's because their December To Remember "sales" event is actually a "more lenient financing" event (which leads to more curbside repo man events). Also, because Pavlovian consumerist zombies drool when they see that perfectly-tied BIG RED BOW, kinda like on The Simpsons when the Malibu Stacy doll's new hat caused a Black Friday-like stampede.

Knowing how lazy and unoriginal people are in my industry, I'm really surprised more carmakers haven't shamelessly copied Lexus and shot similar commercials, maybe with a different style knot on the red bow. Or with a green bow. Or a red, white and green bow.

Let's put a bow on this post by figuring out what the fuck is going on in the below Banana Republic ad. A thorough check of their website finds no antlers of any kind for sale. While her 'like I give a fuck' expression mirrors my own feelings about Christmas, the model actually seems to be staring at something. Maybe her idiot banker boyfriend trying to wrap a big red bow around her new Lexus (she wanted a Mercedes and will tell him to return it)? Maybe watching Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer with severe irony?

Earlier: The Fake Testimonial

The Beginning of the End of YouTube Beginning

suki — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:50:09 EDT

Ever since the Google/YouTube buyout was at its rumor stages, Mark Cuban wouldn't shut up about how it was going to be a legal land mine, and while we have yet to see a lawsuit against Google, he has been kinda right as takedown requests are happening more frequently than pre-buyout.

But here's a new one - a user being asked to remove copyrighted material from their own website. No, not video that he uploaded, but video that he found on YouTube and embedded on a blog. A firm representing The Premier League, England's top soccer league, sent a letter of warning to 101greatgoals, telling the blogger to take down YouTube videos whose copyrights belong to the Premier League.

Now, as much as we understand the copyright issues at work, we depend on YouTube for our soccer fix and we wonder if the Prem is not shooting itself in the foot by resisting a potentially effective word-of-mouth marketing tool. But the bigger question here is what this could mean for blogs like, say, Deadspin, whose most popular content often comes from contraband footage from YouTube.

But the best part about the BBC article? It reminds readers that beginning next season, the BBC website will simulcast all matches televised on the network, so they'll have to come to the Beeb for all the highlights that would theoretically be banned from YouTube. Not even BBC is immune from corporate synergy, it appears.

Goal footage warning for website [BBC]

Correction: GoogTube most certainly is fighting a lawsuit, albeit one that Google inherited from YouTube.

Colbert Ganks Jalopnik

Chris Mohney — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:30:19 EDT

The relentless pursuit of scoop/exclusive credit is a die-hard pastime on this, our Internet. At Gawker, we tend to prefer a more squishy concept of content ownership; information wants to be free, or at least infinitely reproducible without cost, man. Nevertheless, we do try to provide credit where credit is due, and that's the subject of a witch hunt by the greasy gearheads at Jalopnik. Seems they managed to con some exclusive pre-release Chevrolet commercials out of General Motors, though unfortunately the "final" commercials did not feature the promised nuclear explosions. They did feature lots of patriotic imagery and the heartland musical stylings of John Mellon Cougarcamp, which apparently appealed enough to Stephen Colbert and The Colbert Report that the show reproduced the video with no thanks to poor Jalopnik. "When a journalist or 'web logger' takes something not their own and slaps a pre-roll on the front of it with their name and puts it up on YouTube, that's as good as if they made it themselves," claims Jalopnik righteously. Typical mainstream media, surviving parasitically on blog content, just like always.

On Notice! Stephen Colbert Steals Rightfully Stolen Video, Jalopnik Demands An Apology [Jalopnik]

The French Hate Gawker

Jessica — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 10:40:40 EDT

Our gearhead brothers over at Jalopnik are at the Paris Auto Show right now (apparently we now send bloggers to far-off locales to cover events relevant to their site — speaking of which, isn't about time there were a NYC media event in the Maldives?). When they're not chain-smoking Gauloises and test driving baguettes, they're expected to blog about all the shiny cars...except that the venue's press internet access has Gawker on its list of banned sites. So the Jalops can't really get into our publishing system and are thus unable to write anything. Les b tards chanceux.

Paris Auto Show [Jalopnik]

Proposed Taxi Somehow Uglier Than PT Cruiser

Chris Mohney — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 18:50:42 EDT

New Yorkers aren't particularly fond of the endless swarms of Ford Crown Victorias that make up our taxi fleets, and sure, we'd maybe like to suck down a little less exhaust when pedestrianizing. But why did the life-affirming new hybrid taxi have to get stuck inside the grim visage of a Chrysler PT Cruiser? Could anything look more blocky and unappealing than these retro-necrophiliac chariots? Well, actually, yes. The above proposed "Standard Taxi" is just as thrilling as its breathlessly exciting name suggests. Sure, it seats four passengers and can split open to engorge/disgorge a wheelchair, but it looks like a Humvee made of Play-Doh. You won't have much luck enticing those honeys from Lotus into this contraption at 4 a.m.

Big Yellow EV: NYC Begins Testing Lithium-Ion Taxi [Jalopnik]

Enthusiast Media Enthused About Bribes

Chris Mohney — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 09:50:30 EDT

Since we're in New York, our automotive experience is limited to taxis and other cars that get in the way of taxis, but that doesn't mean we're insensitive to the largely undiscovered (or undercovered) world of automotive media. Hairy-backed sib site Jalopnik has just begun to idly berate car mags like Popular Hot Rodding — yes, Popular Hot Rodding — for the thinly veiled practice of trading car parts for good reviews. It seems almost like medieval bartering, but we suppose it's no different than raiding the fashion closet for listicles, then taking home the newly distressed samples for further "review." Apparently this is more a case of impoverished "enthusiast media" journalists just not getting paid much in cash, so they take their editorial compensation in advertiser payola. We doubt many carburetors get offered nonchalantly across desks in Manhattan media offices, but if they do, we want to hear about it. Don't tell us about the payola you've accepted (unless you want to), but feel free to pass on anecdotes of the most baldfaced advertiser bribe you've ever turned down.

Jalopnik Descends Upon New York Auto Show

Jessica — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:40:24 EDT

Can you feel the electricity in the air? Oh, hell yes: This morning marked the start of the New York International Auto Show, where people with driver's licenses descend upon the Javits Center to marvel in the excitement of the automotive industry. Seriously, we didn't sleep a wink last night, thrilled with the prospect of ogling all the brand new monstrosities — so many options for idling on the L.I.E. this summer!

Gawker Media's gearhead site Jalopnik is in town for all the fun, updating regularly. If your taste in cars runs beyond that of yellow Fords, do head there for all your gas-guzzling news.

New York Auto Show [Jalopnik]