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Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Columnist: Slavery Was Awesome!
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The_Left_Coast
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Jamaica is one of those places where music plays an outsized role in daily life. Regular folks don't have computers, or even books, but everybody has a radio. And almost every yard has a sound system. I can't believe the government is so out of touch with the yards.
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Smitros
02/23/09

@The_Left_Coast:

Maybe if someone put a milkshake there . . .
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andheartss haz it
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
As a West Indian American, I must say...

Every dance we have can be connected to sex.

EVERY. LAST. ONE.

RIP Dollar Whine.
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BookishLookish
02/23/09

@andheartss haz it: And justly so, as the whole damn idea behind dancing is sex!
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Aaron Altman
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Well, color me Sean a-Paul'd!
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BookishLookish
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
To paraphrase my neighbor, "Damn blood clots!"
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andheartss haz it
02/23/09

@BookishLookish: Or my mom, cousins, etc.

What de ass!

[Sucking teeth]

De c'yan go scratch.
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BookishLookish
02/23/09

@andheartss haz it: Lulz. The sound of "c'yan"--I love that sound and wish to hear it daily.
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uninspired
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
At least it's still okay to sing about drug abuse.
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gawkimo
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Bob Marley never sang dance hall songs openly calling for the lynching of homosexuals.

Not that I support censorship -- but if this move reduces rather than increases the amount of this hyper-macho, gun-toting, bass-heavy, swaggering bullshit I have to listen to at a stoplight, well then it's not all bad.
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ambitious
02/23/09

@gawkimo:

Bob Marley never sang dance hall songs openly calling for the lynching of homosexuals.

And yet, many of his songs would still be part of the ban.
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gawkimo
02/23/09

@ambitious: I don't think Bob Marley's music celebrated guns, violence, murder, rape or arson. And I don't recall any videos depicting "daggering", either. Again: I don't support the censorship of the arts.

That said: They should snatch every copy of "Legend" in the world and have a big ol' bonfire.
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BadUncle
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
So "daggering" is something new? Waaay back in the 80s, dancing in Kingston was called "square dancing" (since a couple would try to confine movement to the hips, and within a single linoleum floor square). What would account for this sluggish government response time? Can't think of a thing.
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1.1.1.
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
So ... the government is doing something potentially constructive and you're making fun of it?

Based on what? Your need to retain Jamaica as some kind of drug sex crime paradise of the mind?

Yes, the policy may be too broad and needs refinement. But I don't think this merits the snark treatment.
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BadUncle
02/23/09

@1.1.1.: Yeah, government censorship is always a positive thing.
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Hamilton Nolan
02/23/09

@1.1.1.: Come on man. At least make some semblance of an argument, or a joke, when you're wildly wrong. Widespread govt. censorship of music is not in any way "potentially constructive."

Also everybody please stop saying "snark" except when making fun of David Denby.
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Smitros
02/23/09

@Hamilton Nolan:

Speaking of whom, will there be a post on the skewering of Snark in yesterday's Times Book Review?
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
I'm sure if I understood what Vybz Kartel and Macka Diamond were saying, I'd be horrified.
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Weegee's bored
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Time to jerk those chickens!
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ambitious
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
So, just 'Night Nurse' and 'No Woman No Cry' 24/7? Because that sounds like Berkeley. Which is terrible. Don't do this, Jamaica.

Are bullhorns and sirens still okay?
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jbwan
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Jamaican me crazy with all these new laws!
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blix
02/23/09

@jbwan: Rastas it to you?
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naugahydeinplainsight
02/23/09

@jbwan: I dread where this may lead.
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blix
02/23/09

@naugahydeinplainsight: Three in and I'm out. I'm such a jerk.
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flossy
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Say "Boom Bye Bye" to Buju Banton...
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BadUncle
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
Finally, the Jamaican airwaves can be replenished with wholesome 50s Calypso songs about topics like "The Big Bamboo:"

Asked my lady what could I do

To make her happy and to keep her true

Said only one thing I want from you

Is a little bitty piece of that big bamboo

She want the big bamboo, always long

The big bamboo grows so bold and strong

The big bamboo stands so straight and tall

The big bamboo pleases one and all
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BookishLookish
02/23/09

@BadUncle: Yes, the return of creative euphemism is what will occur now that overt references to sex are banned. Praise God!
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uninspired
02/23/09

@BookishLookish: I couldn't agree more - lyrics were so much better when it required creativity to say I want to have sex with you.
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peziak
02/23/09

@BadUncle: The Big Bamboo by The Mighty Sparrow

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BadUncle
02/23/09

@peziak: A friend once compiled 40-odd versions of the Big Bamboo, from the Fabulous McCleverties to Sparrow, and ranging over a 30-year period. Almost everyone had some unique verses. But they all get back to that little piece of the Big Bamboo.
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Smitros
02/23/09

@BadUncle:

I'm sure none of the vocalists would willingly call it "little."
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blix
02/23/09

In reply to Jamaica Bans Jamaican Music
We need to airlift Kevin Bacon in. Apparently John Lithgow is up to his old tricks again.
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