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New York, 11:52 PM
Thu Dec 10
60 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Products Will Save Me Products Will Save Me
    12/09/09

    In reply to James Franco's General Hospital Appearance Was Subversive Performance Art
    This has to be some of the lamest shit I've ever heard.
     Reply
    Products Will Save Me was starred Products Will Save Me was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    12/05/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    I've got to say I've noticed that musicians are often the worst music reviewers ever. It's nothing but pat phrases, lack of insight and often a startling lack of an idea of what makes music, work.
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of Superawesomerad Superawesomerad
    12/05/09

    @jasonelias: Rolling Stone still hasn't figured this out. Those "Best (whatever) Of All Time" listicles they put out every year or so are always partially written by musicians, and those blurbs are always embarrassing to read (yes, even by RS standards).
     Reply
    jasonelias promoted this comment Superawesomerad was starred Superawesomerad was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    12/06/09

    @Superawesomerad: Very true, it's amazing how a musician can't articulate what they like about an influence. Weird I can't really think of one good one.
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    12/05/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Err, we ARE talking about the editorial page of the freaken' Wall Street Journal, correct? As a launchpad to suggest that bringing in people not on the masthead is a bad idea?
    I think your initial premise needs more work, Ravi.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of Bobby BoJangles Bobby BoJangles
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    I was working on Ted Nugent's book Ted, White, and Blue...yes, yes, ridiculous title. Anyway, he had a sentence that went thusly: "we [the U.S.] have the technology to literally drop a bomb on the pins of assholes." I called him and said I didn't think this was quite accurate. He said no, it's accurate. I said, what exactly is a pin of an asshole? He said, you know. I brushed it off and asked: how about we at least take out the word "literally." He cursed at me and hung up. It's still in the book.
     Reply
    Ravi Somaiya approved this comment Bobby BoJangles was starred Bobby BoJangles was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/04/09

    @Bobby BoJangles: Kudos to you for breathing the same air as him and living to tell the tale, literally - ha!
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    I have to say, James Franco's writing was self-important claptrap.

    After the first paragraph, I found myself asking, "Mr Franco, why should I care about your 'art'?"

    I am still waiting for an answer.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    "But wait. The women. Look at the women. All is not well. I'm thinking about the women. This is Iran."

    This is Toro, crawling across the ring to retrieve his mouthpiece in The Harder They Fall. When you're stunned, you go back to basics, like simple declarative sentences. And, like Toro, a celebrity is convinced he's Champ simply because everybody lays down for him.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: Penn would do much better as a TV reporter. Or at least please my broadcast prof in J-school, whose eternal refrain was: "Short. Declarative. Sentences." As someone who's addicted to compound adjectives and adverbs, I don't get it, but I suppose sounding like a telegram has its advantages.
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 12/04/09 12:47 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: Mark Twain says he learned from an editor you write something, then go back and take out all the adjectives. But I read later about ol' Sal and Dean cruising DC during the inaugural for Harry S Truman and at the end of all the vast armaments lined up murderous and threatening there was one ordinary small boat "looking pitiful and foolish in the snowy grass."

    I always loved that ever since. It's great humor and done simply, and you have to use adjectives to make it work. I try and remember that.

    "Ah, yass, Harry Truman, man from Missouri, as I am; that must be his own boat." - On the Road
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Actually, Bono's worst op-ed piece to date was an interminable "ode to Berlin" that he penned for the NYT for the 2oth anniversary "of the wall's falling" this past October.

    It's formatted as a 2,000-word film script that flashes backward and forward, and during which Bono refers to himself in the third person as "THE SINGER" (sic, all caps) with the ironic subtlety of a jackhammer tearing up the pavement.

    Cobbled together from deeply metaphoric constructions such as "The black has devoured the blue," and "The bandmates found it darkly funny to imagine the papers back home carrying a photo of them protesting Mikhail Gorbachev’s great drawing back of the Iron Curtain," the message emerges:

    Yeah, the fall of the Berlin was kinda cool and symbolic and whatever, but the fact that U2 was there to witness it blow-by-blow is what really propelled it into history books.

    This shit was way over the top even for someone with Bono's messianic complex. One has to laugh..
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 12/04/09 12:14 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of epiclady epiclady
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: CHRIST. Gave the Berlin Wall article a try, and I just can't...there are no...it's totally...all I can come up with is "unreadable" and "unbelievable." Bono said it all, I guess.
     Reply
    snugbug promoted this comment epiclady was starred epiclady was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @epiclady: Your loss, lady. You missed the part when Bono interrupted German Chancellor Angela Merkel during a G-8 summit to school her in how to do her job, plus his hard-earned, Weltschmerz-y conclusion: "I think honesty is the hardest thing for a performer"..
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    12/04/09

    In reply to James Franco's General Hospital Appearance Was Subversive Performance Art
    What's fun is how he thinks after all of the send-up his foray into daytime television that there was a disruption of suspension of disbelief.
     Reply
    Edited by PaisleyPajamas at 12/04/09 12:14 PM PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of Tammany_Fall Tammany_Fall
    12/04/09

    In reply to James Franco's General Hospital Appearance Was Subversive Performance Art
    Likewise, when I wear green makeup and fly across a rooftop in "Spider-Man 3," I'm working as an actor, but were I to do the same thing on the subway platform, a host of possibilities would open up

    By "host of possibilities" I'm assuming he means 1) try to fly, get cape stuck, land on third rail, die, hold up trains or 2) get mobbed by teenage girls, flee, land on third rail, die, hold up trains, or 3) just hold up trains.
     Reply
    Tammany_Fall was starred Tammany_Fall was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    that's all well and good, but how does "aging midget who wears sunglasses indoors" buttress your point, exactly, Ravi? an example of responsible, incisive journalism, apparently. if you must insist on cheap shots, a modicum of elegance might be useful.
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @TheologicalSong: Okay, how about "Cyd Charisse in boxers"?
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: now yer talkin', Tre!
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @TheologicalSong: Yes, but remember, now, Mike Royko or one of them grizzled newshounds of yore relayed the first advice he ever received from an even older and more grizzled editor: "Write about nuns and midgets. A story about nuns and midgets tells itself."
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: sounds about right.
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tweezergal Tweezergal
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    But even worse than your-average-run-in-the-mill celebrity "authors" are business-people, anchors, and politicians who hire academics, reporters, or independent intellectuals to ghostwrite their articles: I can think of a few esteemed bigwigs who've "published" pieces in the rarified New York Review of Books-- only they haven't really written them. And do you think Tom Brokaw penned any of "his" books?
     Reply
    Edited by Tweezergal at 12/04/09 11:41 AM Tweezergal was starred Tweezergal was unstarred
    Image of Ravi Somaiya Ravi Somaiya
    12/04/09

    @Tweezergal: email me their names!
     Reply
    Ravi Somaiya was starred Ravi Somaiya was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    "I'm confused. Suzanne Somers is famous, and SHE'S a good writer."

    — Kim Kardashian, in Sunday's London Times
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @AzureTexan: I love it.

    Dr Dean Edell considers Oprah's program one of the most lethal threats to health and life in America today, and one of her prize guests is this particular blow-up doll. There are plenty of other fruit loop frauds, and Oprah will present them, right after this ...
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: Tremonius, it sounds like you might be interested in the new desert utopia I'm starting, Awesomeville, which'll be devoid of empty celebrity and semi-legitimate fame . . . although, I grant you, I'll be quite the famous celebugenius for having started it.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Kakapo Kakapo
    12/04/09

    @AzureTexan: You must seek out "Touch Me in Whimsy: The Poems of Suzanne Somers." And, no, I am not making that title up.
     Reply
    Kakapo was starred Kakapo was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    @Kakapo: I'll definitely seek it out, because I'm curious how many poems can begin, "Come and knock on our door. . . "
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of LolpantsofArabia LolpantsofArabia
    12/05/09

    @AzureTexan: Er, that'd be this week's London Sunday Times. It's an entirely separate paper, under the terms prescribed by the Government when Murdoch bought it.

    /pedant
     Reply
    LolpantsofArabia was starred LolpantsofArabia was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    What's been worse is the speaking Sean Penn--on Larry King especially. He cannot form an articulate sentence to save his life. At least Sarah Palin is just ignorant and aims for soundbite folksy; Penn on the other hand is certainly not as ignorant, and his heart has been in the right place at times, but he aims for deep and brilliant and misses those marks every time.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Tweezergal Tweezergal
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Hooray Ravi Somaiya, for exposing what everyone knows but few want to admit, that "celebrity writer" is an oxymoron. The fact is, even edited pieces by celebrities are garbage, because rewrite people have a hard time turning their illiterate ramblings into anything substantial. What their original pieces look like when they first land on an editor's desk would be embarrassing for a ten-year-old -- that is, if they weren't already reshaped by the celebrity's personal assistant. Bono in The Times?! What a joke! I'm still laughing over Warren Beatty's op-ed piece years back. Fame seekers, who are much too interested in being stared at, are not prepared for the hard, solitary work and thought that good and intelligent writing requires.
     Reply
    Edited by Tweezergal at 12/04/09 11:07 AM Tweezergal was starred Tweezergal was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    12/04/09

    In reply to James Franco's General Hospital Appearance Was Subversive Performance Art
    Most film actors are attractive sacks of self-involved idiocy incapable of uttering an intelligent sentence that wasn't written by someone else.
    So James Franco gets a (very) small pass for setting himself up as a New Wave Harold Bloom -- among his co-workers, he is.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
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