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How To Get Fired For Twittering: Waiter Edition
New York, 6:50 AM
Thu Dec 3
48 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/07/09
10/07/09
That said, I really feel that Mr. Ingels, hereinafter referred to as The Whelp, was not only way out of bounds with his indiscretion vis-a-vis his Twittering, but was also guilty of failing to judiciously pick and choose his battles, a process endemic to any profession in which one's income is essentially dependent on the kindness of strangers. You don't go full-metal-batshit over a $3 tip, understand? You put yourself in harm's way for either much larger sums of money than that or when someone challenges you in a way that allows no honorable retreat. Like the time I had to obstruct the path of a drunken male patron as he was preparing to enter the ladies' room at the swank Malibu eatery I worked at. When he resisted my attempts to get him to back off, he told me he was rich enough to buy the establishment. I told him he should do so immediately, and as soon as he did, he could fire me, straight away, but that until then he was going to have to leave the ladies' room to the ladies.
And last of all, dear Whelp, if you're going to shift into Jonnie the Crypto-Fascist Server mode, make sure you have the right target. The customer in question didn't leave you no tip--her agent did! Collateral damage is rarely justified, despite the last six years in Iraq, my friend.
And for better or worse, your days in the trenches are now officially over. Since you're an actor, keep on eye on the breakdowns, and next time the show "Hung" has a call out for a server with poor judgment and a victim complex, you have the inside track.
Break a leg.
10/06/09
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10/06/09
Come on, like anyone would take what he said seriously after THAT.
Also: the road not taken, and more profitable: Twitter blackmail. WHY don't I live in LA? I'd be a bajillionaire by now.
"Fifty bucks, cash, unmarked fives, or I tweet you're out of toilet paper and you told me to use the napkins!"
10/06/09
The guy's apparently not very bright. He seemed surprised that Emilio Estevez looks like his dad.
10/06/09
Please get the names right so that I can initiate my lifetime boycott of the correct restaurant, TV network and actress.
10/06/09
10/05/09
10/05/09
WTF?
People can't bitch on Twitter without the VP of Customer Service for Barneys getting involved in something that had nothing to do with her?
10/05/09
10/05/09
10/06/09
Celeb worship is out of control.
10/06/09
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10/05/09
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10/05/09
As a server for way too many years in the acid-bath that is the restaurant industry in Los Angeles, the adage of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you is the best one to embrace. Having worked in many high-profile eateries, dealing with celebrity clientele from the titans of the industry to wanna-be's-that-never-will, you have to adhere to one simple rule: just say "no." "No" to leaking things to an ever-eager celebrity-industrial complex eager for anything that has the stench of controversy, ill-breeding, or just plain bad manners all over it.
This approach is easier to take if you keep one simple fact in mind: the guilty party's greatest punishment is lifelong--tomorrow they are going to wake up, and they will still be exactly who they are.
10/06/09
10/05/09
Oh, and Barney Greengrass: soup and lemonade, $13.44. If you have to ask about the delicious smoked fish, you can't afford it.