My friend Calisha made a beeline for GZA, who was holding a rerolled cigar. She asked him if she could have some and he mumbled something about how everyone is asking that, and then he walked away. So she took that as a "no."

I ended up talking to Jauretsi Saizarbitoria, who I recognized as having been the Entertainment Editor for Jane (R.I.P.), and she said something like, "God, people still mention that to me." I felt like maybe that meant that I should've known what she's been up to lately (apparently film?), but I didn't. And I almost felt bad about that, like it must be something really obvious and I'm a retard for not being up on it, but then I told her where I work, and where I used to work, thinking that since she'd been at Jane she must be into the femiladyism shit, but she hadn't heard of either, thus absolving any mild guilt I'd felt.

My favorite girl of the night was this wild model named Sarah, who kept doing shit like spreading her legs, droppin' it to the floor, and showing her nipples through the hole-y pattern on her dress. All of this made her Nikola's fave girl, too. In no uncertain terms, she was the life of the party.

But as far as dudes went, I didn't have much luck. Well, except for one guy, German-born artist Bernd Naber, who lives in Williamsburg and assured me he makes "beautiful paintings." He was kind of, uh, mature. He told me that he had "open-chest surgery" six weeks ago. I'm pretty sure he meant open-heart surgery. Anyway, he had me program my phone number into his cell, 'cause he didn't know how to work it. He then asked to split a cab back, but that didn't seem like such a great idea to me, so I got in my own cab and headed to Union Pool, where the dudes are much less accomplished, but also much less along in years.

doree: oh, this is that Fox anchor neither of us had ever heard of.

emily: huh. boring!

doree: totally. i hate when people are like ASSUMING i know who they are. [Ed. Note: Umm, Bill Hemmer? Anyone? Seriously?]

emily: like, even if he was licking cornichons off arden wohl's cleavage i would not care.
i hate that too.

doree: you and david edelstein made up
that was sweet.

emily: oh! that was adorable, right?

emily: david edelstein is adorable!

doree: mmhmm
he is.

emily: i liked what he said about IM!
oh YEAH
his 8-year-old daughter IMs
AND she wants a cell phone.

emily: we have so much in common with David Edelstein's daughter. we all want him to use IM!

doree: it's true
maybe we should open an account for him?
NYMAGMOVIESGUY

emily: hee hee!!!
oh, fuck, I told alex i would stop saying that.

doree: why?

emily: I caught it from choire so it is kind of an affectation
It's like if i suddenly started being all
!@#$%$
wait no

doree: ha

emily: sdfgafgadkfh

doree: yes yes

emily: uh.

doree: jauretsi?

emily: so is there anything else interesting?

emily: jauretsi!!!
god, i tried to google her

doree: i was just going to say, let's google her

emily: in the memory of my google it looks like this
jaureutsi
jerautsi

doree: OH GOD

emily: jehrutsi

doree: i found her?
she's under "mad construction"!

doree: this is like atoosa.com

emily: SHE AND ATOOSA MUST BE
ha! jinx

doree: HA

emily: MYSPACE FRIENDS

doree: maybe jauretsi is going for the 20something demographic
and she's conceded teenagers to atoosa

emily: Yeah that is jauretsi's tribe

doree: yes.
i wonder how old she is

emily: I would guess mid30s?

doree: oh yes
you are right
Jauretsi Saizabitoria
oops
i mean
she is 35
so, exactly!

emily: wow, I'm so good!

doree: you are.

emily: is it possible for anyone to have a more difficult name to spell?

doree: no

emily: let's never write about her lest it become one of those terrible kuczynski zinczenko scenarios.

doree: omg, totally
what if she started dating zinczneko?
or however you spell it.

emily: saizarbitoria-zinczenko

doree: their poor children.
did you go to the bathroom upstairs?
they had a shower.

emily: whoa! no, i missed that

emily: i bet there have been some crazy hijinx in there.

doree: totally. and, ew.
there was also a washer-dryer

emily: i kind of want to move in there!

doree: haha

emily: seriously! i mean yes, it's a little loud and packed with manhattan-only celebs letting their hair down
but you really can't beat the location

doree: true
and that kitchen was pretty sweet.

emily: they also have a dishwasher! it's everything i have ever dreamed of
except that it's a restaurant

doree: hmm, right.
well, you could probably work around that.

emily: are we done here?

doree: i think so

Earlier: Team Party RSVP: New York Magazine Oscar Party @ The Spotted Pig