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gossip roundup

Paris Hilton Sober As A Pregnant Woman

  • According to this one "firsthand, regular and up-close" source, Paris Hilton stopped drinking, because maybe she's pregnant. Or maybe she's just trying to get attention because she's jealous of Nicole Richie and her baby. [E!]
  • Reggie Jackson, haggling with an artist over price: "Are you Jewish?" [Post]
  • Lindsay Lohan clothing line includes "Mr. President" kneepads! [Rod Townsend]
  • After getting taunted with Madonna's picture by opposing fans at a game and slammed in the press even for his charity work, Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez re-hired agent Scott Boras, the longtime rep Rodriguez dumped for Madonna's manager when a Yankees contract negotiation hit problems.
  • In some movie, Kate Hudson will play a Vogue journalist who "gets a sexy dance" with Daniel Day Lewis. [P6]
  • Naomi Campbell complained the press doesn't cover the wonderfully nice things she does when not bludgeoning assistants with cell phones or getting arrested for assaulting airport police. The Insider obliged with a picture of her visiting a children's hospital in Nigeria.
  • Ethan Hawke, 37, confirmed a secret marriage to his 28-year-old former nanny. She was hired by his prior wife, Uma Thurman. [Mail]
  • "Jay-Z Demands Watermelon Carved in Shape of Beyonce's Breasts" sounds entirely plausible and not at all fabricated. [Showbiz Spy]

advertising

"Our descendants may look at us and say, 'God, these were the most gullible people who ever lived.'"

Celebrities: they're in ads! That's because celebrities tend to sell stuff to people, according to the New York Times, which broke this story wide open with an epic piece in yesterday's paper. There are three clear points that you, the educated consumer, must understand: Companies are run by starry-eyed celebrity hound white guys who will pay any price to hang out with a cool rapper or have their umbrella endorsed by Rihanna; many celebrities are themselves sheep, convinced that their endorsement deal is a meaningful attempt by a corporation to plumb the depths of their soul (it's really not! surprisingly); and finally, all of this is the fault of dirty gossip websites just like this one! More »

how things work

The Future Of The Music Industry Is 15 Pop Bands

Because the music industry is an even worse place to invest your money than the newspaper industry at the moment, everyone is looking for the next big thing. The closest they've come is "360 deals," where artists get a huge check in return for a big cut of all their different revenue streams. First, Madonna signed a contract like this with Live Nation for $120 million. Then Jay-Z signed a contract with Live Nation for $150 million. Live Nation wants to sign 15 more artists to contracts like this. Then everybody else in music can quietly retire. Hope you like the Jonas Brothers a lot! More »

the gays

Gay Rappers: Don't Fear This Book

"Who's the gay rapper?" It's been a parlor game in hip hop for years. A short and incomplete list of some of the most common names tossed around: Kanye West, Puffy, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Common, and, of course, lisping, yoga-master rap mogul Russell Simmons. While there are plenty of rumors for each one, most of those guys are suspected, honestly, because of their fashion sense (except Lil Wayne, who kissed a guy). Or because somebody's homeboy's cousin knows this cat who Puffy tried to do a three-way with. Innuendo is king. But now a formerly closeted gay MTV music executive named Terrance Dean is about to release a book—which has been anticipated for more than a year—that he says will out the gay rappers once and for all. Don't be mad, y'all! This could be the chance of a lifetime for one lucky closeted homosexual. More »

gossip roundup

Paris Hilton Banned For Acting Like Paris Hilton

  • Paris Hilton was banned from at least one Hyatt, in Moscow, for scribbling her name on the wall in black marker. But it was for a very important picture of Paris looking hot (at left, via the Sun), so it was totally worth the $9,000 fine. [Sun]
  • OJ Simpson would like to appear on Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice to create the least appealing television imaginable. [P6]
  • Tom Cruise's 13-year-old son Connor will appear in a movie in a bit, non-speaking part with Cruise's Scientology-friendly buddy Will Smith. [AP]
  • Heather Mills, former wife of former Beatle Paul McCartney, was allegedly a $20,000 per-night prostitute who acted out lesbian scenes for clients. [Daily Star via Gaunabee]
  • Amy Winehouse and her husband were offered $2 million to recount whatever they can actually remember of their drug-adled marriage. [Sun]
  • There's official confirmation of the Beyonce/Jay-Z wedding, in case you had been delaying your celebration. [OK!]
  • There's supposedly a sex tape of the fiancée of Opie from the radio show Opie & Anthony. The fiancée is said to be shown with Bam Margera of MTV, from before she met Opie. [P6]

scandals

(Black) Obama Linked To (Black) Rappers In B----, Hoe Scandal, Says Race-Blind Conservative Publication!

Scandal alert: Barack Obama has been complicit with rappers since at least 2006! He has collaborated with their nefarious aims! It's all there in a sordid report from Human Events, which lays bare the undeniable ties between Obama and individuals who have released albums containing rap music at one time or another. He hasn't rebuked them or repudiated them or even renounced them! Not even "foul-mouthed rappers" like Will.I.Am! Not even when, throughout the rap industry, "folks talk so openly and regularly about b—-—-, n—-—- and hoes"! Yo Evan Gahr of Human Events, can you please drop some knowledge on these muhfuckas? More »

jay-z

Unconfirmed Celebrity Wedding Is A Stain On Celebrity Journalism

Isn't it crazy that the BIGGEST MYSTERY OF OUR TIME—whether or not hip hop/ R&B royalty Jay-Z and Beyonce actually got married last week—hasn't been officially solved yet? On Friday you guys were sending us all those tips about the crowd around Jay-Z's building for a rumored wedding, but we still don't have confirmation! The onstage yammerings of Mary J. Blige about the "wedding" are just not as good as a publicist's statement. And today the Daily News shows Jay-Z with no wedding ring on! What are all those so-called journalists doing these days? Elsewhere, gossip types say Beyonce is pregnant already. That would mean they had sex! We demand the national media drop everything and confirm this story, even if it means drawing every last reporter out of Iraq and stationing them throughout the Marcy Projects. Priorities, people.

gossip roundup

George Clooney Won't Be Told When To Dump His Girlfriend

  • An anonymous caller told George Clooney about his new girlfriend Sarah Larson, "Dump the bitch before you're sorry." Clooney got his off-duty-cop chauffeur to have the call traced, but it was made from a pre-paid cell phone and they can't figure out who bought the phone. Also, the Sun found a supposed ex-boyfriend of Larson who said Larson had "special love potions."
  • Jennifer Lopez wants Tom Cruise to be her twins' godfather and convinced her husband Marc Anthony to go along with the plan. Perfect. Also, the kids' christening outfits cost $200,000. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Kitten-and-puppy-hating liar Paris Hilton isn't going to participate in the casting process for her supposed new Best Friend Forever. Surprise, surprise. [P6]
  • Talk show host Oprah Winfrey cried on her show over pictures of her dead dog. "I’ve got to get myself together... We’ll be right back." [Splash]
  • Rapper Jay-Z married Beyoncé in his New York apartment Saturday, according to Mary J. Bilge, who is on tour with him. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Singer Amy Winehouse is going to give her incarcerated husband Blake an album of very special love songs written just for him, and he is going to sell that album for drugs. [Showbiz Spy]
  • For her recent incident at the airport, model Naomi Campbell may be barred from British Airways for life.
  • Comedian Joan Rivers said of Victoria Beckham, "I dislike Victoria Beckham... Calm down, you were a Spice Girl." [HollyScoop]

celebrities

Jay-Z And Beyonce Getting Married Now! Say Rumors

Hey, so yes, you, you, and you, and also you, have noticed that there's a bunch of paparazzi and police and all that down on Hudson and Canal. That means Jay-Z and Beyonce are getting married right now! Or at least that's the rumor. Maybe he's just giving some sort of charity concert, did anybody even think of that? Well if you're down there, go sneak in for us and send a full report. [NY Mag, pic from Joe the tipster]

music

Jay-Z's $150 Million Concert Deal Changes Nothing, Probably

The Times reported that rapper Jay-Z is about to close a $150 million deal with concert promoter Live Nation, and said, in its headline, that the deal is a "New Model For Ailing Business." Really? Because the whole thing sounds awfully familiar. More »

gossip roundup

Madonna Still Needs Your Attention Desperately

  • Probably trying to dispel rumors she's about to divorce Guy Ritchie, and also drum up more publicity for her new album, Madonna overshared about her sex life to magazine Elle, saying screwing Ritchie is "amazing," even though both husband and wife sleep with BlackBerrys under their pillows. Elle pics are here. (Photo: Vanity Fair via Daily Mail)
  • First Britney Spears opened talks with her old manager, now she's cozying up to ex Kevin Federline. According to a Star source, the singers hung out at Easter and "Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them." [Star]
  • Sex and the City's Kirstin Davis dared to show her face in public, and even shop, even though naked sex pictures of possibly her were released to the whole entire internet. [Faded Youth]
  • Jay Z and Beyoncé are allegedly about to wed, only 16 months after the Post said they would. [ET]
  • Jennifer Lopez is ready to lose the 50 pounds she gained when she had twins. [OK!]

campaigns

Popular Business, Man Endorses Change


Jay-Z's new robo-call supporting Barack Obama in Ohio has finally dropped, and once Danger Mouse remixes it, Obama will sweep the white vote.

lawsuits

Jay-Z Kool With Herc; Voodoo Issue Still Unresolved

Yesterday, a man named Clive Campbell filed a wacky $5 billion lawsuit against rap star and partial New Jersey Nets owner Jay-Z, as well as others associated with the huge Atlantic Yards construction project in downtown Brooklyn (which includes a new stadium for the Nets). The charge was that because Barclay's bought naming rights to the stadium, and was possibly involved in the slave trade way back when, everyone involved was illegally profiting from slavery. So that will be dismissed quickly. More interesting: Clive Campbell is the real name of DJ Kool Herc, the old school master widely credited as the founder of hip hop. So outlets started reporting that Kool Herc was suing Jay-Z—intergenerational hip hop madness! But then it came out that this was a different Clive Campbell [Gothamist]. Too bad, cause that would have been crazy. Now Jay-Z can turn his attention to warding off this "Voodoo Priestest"!: More »

the hustle

Steve Stoute Has It All Figured Out

On a broad socioeconomic basis, it's unlucky to be born black in this country. Chances are you'll have worse schools, a poorer neighborhood, and face more discrimination than white people. But if you're one of the lucky few who can get a toehold in the corporate world while still keeping abreast of the latest "urban" trends, you can get white businessmen to pay you millions of dollars just for spitballing ideas off the top of your head about how to sell things to white teenagers. Steve Stoute is living that dream. More »

i felt so symbolic

A Night At The Spotted Pig

Last night we ate at the Spotted Pig, which is a restaurant some famous people own where some famous people go. When we went, some famous people were there! Also, a ton of lame-seeming frat boys. Our residency lasted from 11:15 to 1:30 and during that time, we saw Jay Z and Beyoncé scurry from the second floor (hoi polloi) to the third floor (Empyrean Heaven). Jigga is an investor and looks like a suave African-American André The Giant, though our perception might have been altered since we were sitting on those tiny stools they have there. More »

Page Six, on Jay-Z: "An industry insider says, 'He is scrambling - the first single, "Black Magic," isn't being played on radio. It's the first time in his career he's not doing well.'" Sad! Maybe the insider should try listening for Jay-Z's actual new single "Blue Magic" though. [NYP]

gossip roundup

Britney Spears Is Sagging Badly

  • Remember a time when you would have been excited to see a picture of Britney Spears' naked boob? Us neither, really. [Egotastic]
  • Evil monster Ralph Fiennes and Ellen Barkin: canoodling! [Page Six]
  • Regarding Paris Hilton: "The celebucon has complained bitterly to the press while in jail that she's not allowed to have facial moisturizer and her skin is dry." Worst "celebu-" construction yet. The English language will not stand for this. [Page Six]
  • Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, among others, are suing Jay-Z's club for allegedly shorting them on royalties. [NYP]
  • More »

    heart of darkness

    Celebrities Almost Make Africa Interesting Again

    Hey, so the Vanity Fair Africa issue hit newsstands today! Guest-edited by Bono! We rushed out to get our copy and brought it to the office where we realized that, you know, we're kind of shallow. Isn't Africa kind of last fall? We don't have the attention spans for that stuff. You know what we do care about, though? Celebrities! And with twenty different celebrity-studded covers, the magazine kept up involved for a good five minutes looking at the Annie Leibovitz compositions. Each one blends one subject from the previous cover, so you've got your Don Cheadle and Barack Obama giving way to Barack and Muhammad Ali. Here's a handy guide to who you'll want to look for at the newsstand. More »