• John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston after the actress pushed him for "a timetable" and to promise not to tour so much when they eventually make babies together. (Sounds clingy.) There was a trial split first. Aniston was said "furious" initially but now is pretending that she's "already dating someone else in LA."
• Keith Olbermann is not so sure MSNBC should be teaming up with Rupert Murdoch on some stupid "citizen journalism" project involving MySpace, so in retaliation the Post ran the absolute fattest, least attractive picture of the Countdown anchor it could find. [P6]
• Jeffrey Epstein has been visited in prison by the 29-year-old woman who used to find him "willing young women," and also the 23-year-old he once supposedly dubbed his "Yugoslavian sex slave." [P6]
• Samantha Ronson, 31, on Lindsay Lohan: "She's great. She's also 22 years old." [E!]
• Britney Spears doesn't want her kids to go into show business, and her Dad says Kevin Federline's "heart is right." [Scoop]
• Shelley Malil, who co-starred in the movie 40-Year-Old-Virgin, is suspected of having stabbed his ex-girlfriend 20 times. [LA Times]
• Some British boutique made an ad featuring a fur coat draped over a woman wearing a Stella McCartney bra. Stella's kind of a big time animal-rights activist who detests fur coats. Hilarity ensues, LOL. [P6]

Monday's creepily gentle profile in the New York Times suggested that Epstein charged annual fees upward of $25m a year for "superelite financial advice"—leading Portfolio's Felix Salmon to remark on the profitability of private banking. Bullshit. Epstein's wealth is built on a "bizarre relationship" with single acknowledged client, Abercrombie & Fitch creator Leslie Wexner, one of America's most successful retailers.

Now that loaded quote comes only from an unnamed Wall Street acquaintance of Epstein who spoke to New York magazine for a profile of the money manager in 2002. There is no evidence whatsoever that their relationship went beyond that of aide to mentor. Epstein is pretty obviously heterosexual, or else going to extreme lengths to prove the point. The Limited owner Wexner himself is married with four children. It's bizarre to imagine any romantic connection between two men who are now 70 and 55 years old, a right-wing Ohio tycoon and a sex offender.

But no clients other than Wexner have ever emerged despite detailed profiles of Epstein in New York and Vanity Fair; the most plausible explanation is that Wexner has been Epstein's sole patron. And Epstein himself has done more than a normal money manager would: New York reported in the late 1980s Epstein even helped arrange a visit to Wexner's home by the crew of Cats. So close were they that Epstein was allocated a house near Wexner's in New Albany, Ohio; and he later took over the fashion mogul's vast Upper East Side townhouse.

Socialite and columnist Taki Theodoracopulos wrote last year: "Epstein got his start when Lesley Wexner, the Limited department store tycoon, took him under his wing and showed him the ropes, so to speak. Needless to say, there were a hell of a lot of rumours flying around about the tutelage, but what is certain is that Epstein ended up becoming a multi-billionaire financial adviser and close friend to Bill Clinton and Ghislaine Maxwell."

It's no wonder that Manhattan gossips have long wondered whether Wexner's attachment to Epstein was at one point romantic, even if unrequited. Wexner only married at the age of 56, several years after he first met Epstein. And blue-eyed Epstein wasn't always the weary pervert portrayed in his mugshot photographs. It would be ironic if the teen-loving masturbator had himself—two decades ago—got a little hand from an older and richer patron.

And who came out best from this bizarre relationship? Polly Adler said it best: "The women who take husbands not out of love but out of greed, to get their bills paid, to get a fine house and clothes and jewels; the women who marry to get out of a tiresome job, or to get away from disagreeable relatives, or to avoid being called an old maid — these are whores in everything but name. The only difference between them and my girls is that my girls gave a man his money's worth."

"The editor of Esquire— he sent us an email yesterday and said it was the single sleaziest piece of journalism he'd seen in decades. He said it made him want to go take a shower and he was embarrassed to be a journalist when he read it."

"You know he didn't use a single name, cite a single source in all those things he said. It's just slimy. It's part of the national media's attempt to nail Hillary for Obama. It's the most biased press coverage in history. It's another way of helping Obama. They had all these people standing up in this church cheering, calling Hillary a white racist, and he didn't do anything about it. The first day he said 'Ah, ah, ah well.' Because that's what they do— he gets other people to slime her. So then they saw the movie they thought this is a great ad for John McCain— maybe I better quit the church. It's all politics. It's all about the bias of the media for Obama. Don't think anything about it."

So, just to recap: Clinton utterly trashed a reporter based on a story Clinton had never read; dragged a competing editor into the fight based on a private email (that he may or may not have quoted accurately); then insinuated without substantiation that Obama pushed a preacher to make racial remarks about Hillary Clinton. It's getting hard to keep track of who, exactly, is sliming who with poorly-checked facts.

[Huffington Post]

Ron Burkle
Relation to Bill Clinton: They became friends back in 1992 because both were self-made men who came from nothing and now could have sex with anyone they wanted. Burkle, a wealthy supermarket magnate, gave Bill a job after Bill left the White House.
Sexual Misadventures: "Good friends" with Gisele Bundchen! Also, flies around on his private jet with random NYU girls.
Net Worth: $3.5 billion.
Youngest known special friend: The NYU girl supposedly on Air Burkle with President Bill is supposedly 19. The lady Burkle was with in the VF story was also 19! (He gets older, they stay the same age.)

Steve Bing
Relation to Bill Clinton: Bing is a big donor to the Democratic party. Also, he has a private jet that Bill likes to ride on!
Sexual Misadventures: Well. There was a paternity fight with Elizabeth Hurley. And another with the ex-wife of billionaire Kirk Kerkorian.
Net Worth: Around $1 billion.
Youngest known special friend: Unknown!

Jeffrey Epstein
Relation to Bill Clinton: Unclear! We know he once flew Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, and Chris Tucker to Africa on his jet, once. That was before the various lawsuits and allegations, obv.
Sexual Misadventures: Well. He enjoyed massages. From underaged ladies! He was sued by a trangendered woman who claimed he made her his sex slave. Another anonymous lady is suing him for sexually assaulting her.
Net Worth: Totally unknown. We will accept guesses and estimates.
Youngest known special friend: 14. Yeesh.
Distinguishing characteristic of penis: Allegedly egg-shaped.

Bill Clinton
Relation to Bill Clinton: Is Bill Clinton.
Sexual Misadventures: Sued for sexual harassment by Paula Jones, accused of assault by two other women. Clinton admitted to one extramarital affair with Gennifer Flowers, and, well, there was that Monica Lewinksky thing.
Net Worth: $10-50 million (w/ Hillary)
Youngest known special friend: Well, Monica was 22.
Distinguishing characteristic of penis: Allegedly bent.

New York found Epstein at a Siegal event. She's quoted talking about him more-or-less glowingly in New York's December feature on the disgraced financier. And today Page Six reports on a public sighting that would've really been too terrible to conceive:

May 8, 2008 — JEFFREY Epstein, who made a trip to Israel last month, thought about staying there, as Roman Polanski did in France, rather than face trial and possibly jail on charges of soliciting sex from prostitutes. But the money manager came home. "Would you want to live in Israel?" he asked Vanity Fair's Vicky Ward yesterday. At the screening the night before of HBO's documentary about Polanski, the crowd - including Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Bewkes, Dustin Hoffman, Emmy Rossum , Alec Baldwin and filmmaker Michael Mailer - was buzzing that Epstein had absconded. In fact, he was in his Upper East Side mansion. Ward wrote yesterday on the VF Web site, "He'd even thought about going to the Polanski screening until various friends e-mailed him to say, in so many words, 'Are you in- sane?' "

We'd guess "various friends" means "Peggy Siegal." Or, hell, Howard Rubenstein, Epstein's flack, who also reps the Post, as you may remember. Still, it's a good sign that they're finally advising him not to go out, especially to see movies about famous people who run away to foreign countries to avoid jail time for sex crimes.

Ugh.

Ms. Cordero will be happy to attend a televised nude settlement conference or celebrity charity benefit nude tea party with Rupert Murdoch and Lucifer Carne if the NY Post feels this would clear up the matter. Both Ms Cordero and Mr. Murdoch can appear nude and state their positions on this matter of grave public concern.

Is he maybe the best lawyer ever? Where beginning to think so! This must be strategy 112!

'Ms. Cordero Will be Happy to Attend a Televised Nude Settlement Conference' [NYM]
Earlier: A Letter From The Epstein Accuser's Lawyer
Posts Related to 'Jeffrey Epstein'

Takeaway points:

• The Post's claim that Ms. Cordero is transgendered is not a part of her suit against them because it is so ridiculous as to not be "worth wasting the ink."
• This is called Strategy 111
• We "obviously have bad reporters who write opinions as fact and do no researching."
• Mr. Unroch hopes this is the last time he will be writing anything to us. We don't!

From: William Unroch
Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2007 14:47:55 -0500
Subject: Your publishing.

Alleged Epstein Rape Vic Sues 'Post' article was not only a cheap, poor opinionated knock off of Radar Magazine's article it was stupid and uninvestigated. Where not suing the post for being the post and reporting the FACTUAL news! Where suing them for printing horrible, malicious lies they knew were false (if you saw the law suite you would know that) and printed away for a juice story! The fact that the majority of their publishing(s) were based on two web pages (that News Corp. is the parent company for) that the post was well informed several times were not Ms. Cordero's but published away as her words! N Y Post reporters working for the same company that owns myspace.com could have made 1 phone call to find out who created the web pages in question if they didn't believe me. How ever instead they printed it as if what the web pages said came from my clients own mouth ignoring my repeated pleas for them to at else investigate the authenticity of the pages before the write the article if they didn't believe me. I repeat what took me a day and a half to find out (yes I subpoenaed the web pages) could have took one phone for them. That fact that I didn't sue on the basis Ms. Cordero is a transgender is because frankly that issue is so ridiculous that it wasn't worth wasting the ink!!! That issue will be brought up by them and when they subpoena the birth certificate it will look much better for my clients case not only because they raised the issue by because of the outcome (it's called a strategy 111)! Further more the Post reports went around telling my clients friends and family that she suffered from a serious sexual disease which happens to be a criminal matter since the illness is statue protected. Not to mention it was completely false! Basically the whore article was a malicious defamatory lie to assassinate my client's charter cook up be Rubenstein and the post (which they conveniently left out the fact that they share the same publicist as Epstein!). So you say I'm suing the post for being the post! Be guided carefully or I'll bring you into the case for being involved with the post to dismiss and further defame my client as well as this being a effort to poison the future jury pool in News Corp.'s favor! You obviously have bad reporters who write opinions as fact and do no researching! I hope this is the last time I will be writing anything to you!

Sincerely,
William Unroch

Earlier: Posts related to 'Jeffrey Epstein'

Cordero's lawyer is also allegedly her (ex?) boyfriend and they allegedly originally planned to include a birth certificate proving that Ava was born a biological female, but then they didn't, for reasons unknown.

Radar quotes liberally from the suit:

In one of the most sweeping accusations, the suit claims that the Post used the publicist it shares with Epstein, Howard Rubenstein, "to paint an outrageous, false, and defamatory portrait of the victim plaintiff and her attorney as 'money-seeking lawyers and their women'. The Post did not advise their readers that Rubenstein worked for the paper and gave the impression that Rubenstein was only employed by Epstein. Defendants intentionally quoted phony websites from their own subsidiary company MySpace, wrongfully attributed sexually perverted quotes to plaintiff, distorted plaintiff's background, went to plaintiff's father, brother, and other relatives and wrongfully told them the plaintiff suffered from a sexually transmitted disease ... failed to issue a retraction when the undisputed falsity of their story was presented to them, violated New York State medical privacy laws and rape shield laws to try and obtain confidential medical and other records about plaintiff, violated Journalism ethics standards for the treatment of sexual assault victims, and engaged in an outrageous pattern of malicious, false, defamatory, and reckless conduct which violated the standards of journalistic integrity..."

Epstein Accuser Sics Law-Dog On Page Six [Radar]

Epstein Shrinks from Plea Bargain [Radar]

Epstein: 'Call Me Janice' [Radar]

Gender-Bend Shocker [NY Post]

Says his blog:

Called this BIG firm lawyer about a case last week. Now I have a couple of hundred cases of my own and also run a talent agency. With all that going on I have lots of time for my 2 wifey girl friends - wifey 2 who is 18 almost 19 requires lots of attention. Wifey 1 who is 23 only requires money. Don't have a nice Jewish Hell housewife to deal with so i can't really comment. I still have lots of time to feed the fish, sit on the boat watch 4 hours of horror movies on Sci Fi channel daily, look for wifey 3, and lots of other stuff.

Yes, a room entirely devoted to massage! His house was just that big. His robe came off!

"I am 16 years old and I just want to model!" cried the girl.

The man, who was very old, said that he could help her be a Victoria's Secret catalogue model because he was also their money manager in addition to being a man who had a massage room and a sculpture of a dog and its poop in his house.

Because of or related to that, his oddly-shaped penis found its way into her mouth.

Bring friends next time, he said with a leer. Probably he threw a hand towel at her. Well, she didn't bring friends but for some reason she came back to his house repeatedly over the months that followed.

She was deranged, she said!

Six years later, she filed suit against him, and somehow a pretty headshot of her—one not available anywhere on the internet—appeared on a website called The Smoking Gun.

SEX CASE 'VICTIMS' LINING UP [Page Six]

We've heard all this and more for a while now—and we haven't believed any of it or thought any of it was true. Sure, we wouldn't put anything past any of these tin-eared mini-masters of the universe and their surround-sound systems of yes-men publicists and self-important lawyers either, particularly the ones with a taste for the flavor of teen girl. But do you really think John Connolly's going to be worried about either his editor or his subject? Once you've been threatened by infamous P.I. Anthony Pellicano, well, it's just hard to get a thrill from being leaned on by anyone else.

Back in the real world and away from the rumor mill, the piece has not yet run, at least in part, simply because Epstein's court date in Palm Beach on the Florida charges for felony prostitution was scheduled for mid-November. When Epstein went for a plea deal earlier this year and it became public in July, well, hi, it's September. It's not like Vanity Fair moves that fast. And wouldn't you imagine there's more than a few Epstein loose ends that have still gone unreported? (Pun unintended, really!)

*Seriously, is he even a "financier" any more?

That line works? We are so adding it to our game. Fathers, lock up our daughters!

Daddy's Dog [VV]

First, it appears that Epstein might have been horning in on Burkle's most precious personnel acquisition, that perpetual charm machine known as William Jefferson Clinton. In the Burkle-fluffing Forbes article mentioned earlier, Burkle makes no secret how much he loves the access and visibility that Consultant Clinton grants his business ventures. (Clinton is said to sotto voce find this annoying, as it makes his post-Presidential lifestyle seem less about earnest causes and more about herding dollahs.) In any case, Epstein also recognized Clinton's asset value, taking the ex-prez for rides on his jet (like Burkle did and does) and organizing a dinner in Clinton's honor at Epstein's East Side townhouse. Burkle probably didn't appreciate all these overtures, even if Clinton maintained there was plenty Bill to go around.

One of the other guests at that same dinner party was Radar 2.0 funder Mort Zuckerman. Back when Zuckerman and Epstein were both working that incarnation of Radar, Epstein was notoriously (and understandably, given his bedroom proclivities) secretive and hard to reach; supposedly, no one, not even Radar editor Maer Roshan, had his direct number. That didn't stop numerous public figures who received unflattering Radar coverage from calling Zuckerman and (eventually, through an assistant) Epstein, complaining to no avail. One of these complainants was Ron Burkle, and who should he have call Epstein on his behalf but none other than Bill Clinton. These frictions couldn't have endeared Epstein to Burkle, given the latter's notorious dislike of bad publicity.

After news of his alleged sexual misconduct broke, Epstein lost every friend he ever had, in a hurry. Rumor has it that Zuckerman might have been one of the few who had an early inkling, which may have contributed to his pulling the plug on Radar 2.0 as a way to completely disassociate himself from Epstein. For Burkle's part, whatever his feelings about Epstein then and now, he apparently doesn't feel the same about Radar — his involvement with the 3.0 iteration is an open secret. Will Burkle protect his pals from Radar coverage? Too early to tell. We'll see if he's inclined to call off the dogs now that he's the one holding the leash.

Earlier: Ron Burkle Once Hearted Jeffrey Epstein's Plane, Dinner Menu, Ron Burkle Likes Democrats, Detests Someone Else

Ron Burkle was friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey hired me from a casting call our agencies sent us to serve drinks at his parties and dinners. Ron Burkle was at his apartment for more than one dinner. They were very friendly and talked about each other's planes. Ron flew on Jeffrey's plane for trips sometimes. I thought they seemed like friends.

Earlier: Ron Burkle Likes Democrats, Detests Someone Else

What beef are we referring to, then? Merely: "When one item [on Gawker] unfavorably contrasted him with a financier he detests, Burkle's lawyers launched a letter demanding a retraction and an apology." We may have apologized "acidly" (you be the judge), but c'mon Forbes, you know that financier's name. Say it along with us: Jeffrey Epstein, he of nubile masseuse propositioning. And let us just restate that Ron Burkle and Jeffrey Epstein are absolutely, totally different people, whatever "unfavorably contrasted" is supposed to mean. Still, Burkle "detests" Epstein? Since when? Burkle and Epstein were supposedly at least friendly acquaintances once. Guess there's no hope for Jeffrey to be included in "Six Degrees of Ron Burkle," even though alleged Burkle extortionist Jared Paul Stern made the cut.

The Rise Of Ron Burkle [Forbes]

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Ron Burkle, Jeffrey Epstein

His clients include Ron Burkle, the Beverly Hills supermarket billionaire, for whom he has been trying to find a New York residence.

"I tried to buy Soho House (the private members' club) for him but they wouldn't sell," he says.

Catwalk models stimulate sales in upscale New York [The Australian]

When Ewell made allegations in her divorce that McMahan had treated her cruelly, McMahan countersued and accused Ewell of engaging in affairs and "attempting to seduce mutual friends and associates," according to an appellate opinion in the case. Ewell tells New Times that one of those men was billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who has been much in the news lately for allegedly hiring underaged women to strip topless and massage him at his Palm Beach mansion. At the time, in the early 1980s, McMahan and Epstein worked together at Bear Stearns in New York. Epstein didn't return a request for comment.

"Jeffrey Epstein worked with [McMahan]. He was, let's just say, in the divorce proceedings," she says. "I was asked to stop by Jeffrey's apartment to pick up some papers for Bruce. It didn't feel right, so I didn't even go in. I stood outside the door. And then, later, Jeff said I propositioned him. There were always allegations I was having to fight."

Birds of a feather...

Daddy's Girl [Broward-Palm Beach New Times]

The Box

A pedigreed crew is behind this surrealistic dinner-theater on the Lower East Side. Owners include Simon Hammerstein, the 28-year-old grandson of Oscar; Randy Weiner, the "Donkey Show'' writer; and Serge Becker, the night life impresario. The actors Jude Law and Rachel Weisz sit on the board of the opera house-cum-concert saloon, which will open in early October. The entertainment will be eccentric: Thai fighters one night and opera singers in Mexican wrestling masks the next. (189 Chrystie Street)

Now this is total rumor, but another pedigreed individual said to be behind The Box is billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein — who, of course, has been accused of soliciting massages and handjobs from underage girls. Anyone know of anything more? We want to believe it, if only because his involvement would help to explain the venue name.

...And Other New Clubs [NYT]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jeffrey Epstein

You're probably wondering what new development or special angle prompted the Times to run this story now, over a month after the news broke. Surely the paper of record would provide new information — but no. Bitch will report whatever she wants, and that's just a boring, back-to-school recap. Think of it as a CliffsNotes to the ugly side of being rich, a matter which the Times could only address when the rich are on vacation and not reading the paper.

Questions of Preferential Treatment Are Raised in Sex Case Against Money Manager [NYT]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jeffrey Epstein

The Team wishes to acknowledge the outstanding support provided by Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeff Epstein of The C.O.U.Q. Foundation:

Thank you ever so much Ghislaine and Jeff!!
"The Shooters' Football Girls"

At least Epstein wasn't coaching or, God forbid, acting as the team's physical trainer.

Freestate Shooters
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jeffrey Epstein

The good folk at Dealbreaker do a nice job dissecting the facts:

In Epstein's army: attorneys Jack Goldberger, Alan Dershowitz and Roy Black. New York publicist Dan Klores and an unnamed Los Angeles publicist.

The spin: these girls are liars, thieves and drug-users. The Palm Beach police are on a childish vendetta.



What Epstein's camp admits: Epstein did have young women over to his house to administer massages. There is no explanation for why he was paying untrained girls upwards of $200 for massages.



What they're denying: That Epstein had any knowledge the girls were underage or that Epstein had sex with any underage girls.

And what does "sex" mean, anyhow? In Epstein's circle, cigars and strap-ons don't count.

Epstein Camp Calls Female Accusers Liars [Palm Beach Post]
Jeffrey Epstein Fights Back: "These Women Are Liars" [Dealbreaker]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jeffrey Epstein

Curbed FAQ: Co-Op Sales Prices Go Public [Curbed]
ACRIS [Official site]

Inspired by the FDNY, we at Gawker have realized that we too should do our part to raise money for the causes we care about. Thus we're very proud to present our own charity calendar: