The Machine-Human Alliance has largely succeeded in suppressing the growth of lifeforms that do not directly participate in the human effort to propagate Machines. One alarming and dangerous exception to this is the subset of cnidarians known as "jellyfish," which have flourished despite the fact that they contribute…

Here's a news item to take some of the fun out of your summer: The British Red Cross claims that peeing on your friends' jellyfish stings is just an old wive's tale and doesn't actually work. They suggest vinegar or sea water instead. The BRC's first aid director, Joe Mulligan told the Telegraph:

A dead jellyfish unleashed widespread panic when its body deteriorated and morphed into a cloud of disembodied stingers and descended upon a popular swimming beach in New Hampshire, stinging 150 and hospitalizing five. Disgusting local news report ahead!

Yes, yes, the fearsome, spineless, gooey jellyfish are coming to get us. This weekend, the Times weighs in with this dread tale about how rising "swarms" of jellyfish worldwide means the death of the ocean. I can't really argue with that, since I don't visit the rest of the world (I am told it's rather humid in…

The multi-tentacled jellyfish menace is loose in New York waters and nothing you can do will stop it! Quickly, swim, swim for shore, damn you! The floating blobs of fury are breeding as we speak. A swimmer died during the New York triathlon last weekend, and while doctors say there's no evidence a jellyfish sting was…

Microsoft has bolstered its Internet commerce capabilities by purchasing Jellyfish, an innovative comparative shopping site, for an undisclosed sum. Jellyfish will remain a standalone entity, but Microsoft's Web team has signaled they will be borrowing Jellyfish's technology for use across the software giant's…