"It is a combination of speed dating and the gong show or "JDate and a camel auction", as Rachel Donadio wrote in The New York Times last year. You have two minutes (and they will stand up and pull you off if you exceed that) to charm them. They get a book with your picture and bio in it. (It really is like JDate! One woman even asked me if I were single).

Seriously, Jews are one of the most important demographics for this book, I told them in my two minute spiel (which I rehearsed and rehearsed to get down to under 1:50). Why?

1. They love Chinese food.
2. They buy books (supposedly 23% of all commercial hardcover in the United States)
3. They have social groups like JCCs and synagogues where they can bring authors in."

My friend Alexis (a huge Colbert fan) sent me an e-mail predicting how Colbert might respond to my argument that Chinese food is more American than apple pie given how much we eat apple pie versus Chinese food, and how I should recover from that.

Colbert : "I eat apple pie every morning - with a jack and coke - and a bald eagle egg omlette."

Jenny: Well, there are exceptions - and you are clearly an exceptional American - for most would say Chinese food.

Other things he might do:
* Introduce the idea that the Chinese are taking over the world, starting with the restaurants. ("If that happens, I'm hedged. I speak Chinese, what about you?" or "That might happen. I suggest that your kids learn to speak Chinese. My mom's a tutor.")
* Bring up any comment about the fact that fortune cookies were copied from the Japanese by the Chinese ("We don't feel so bad about it, they've been copying us for centuries.").
* Of course, ask about the middle number as initial. ("The Chinese love the number 8. The Beijing Olympics are starting at 8 p.m. on August 8, 2008. They really wanted this Olympics.")

Lee's friend was right about the apple pie thing. All the studying seemed to leave Lee looking just a tad over-prepared and stiff, but it's hard to fault her when she kept the discussion focused on her book and scored the requisite-but-never-guarnteed book plug from the host at the end.

Huffington Post: Preparing For "The Colbert Report"

A personal literary project like this has a long trajectory, starting with the phone call where someone first asks, "Have you ever thought of writing a book?" Over the past four years it has become so intimately intertwined with my daily life that the contributions I acknowledge are not only for content but emotional support, as a wisp of an idea morphed into a finished project.

She also thanks Times metro desk whiz kid Sewell Chan, "who I have known and worked with since seventh grade." Also! "The talented programmers who brought us Google, Google Maps, Google Scholar, ProQuest and Kayak." It goes on and on. She thanks Maureen Dowd. Enough said.

EXCERPTS:

Then came a shocking revelation. Fortune cookies weren't Chinese. It was like learning I was adopted while being told there was no Santa Claus. How could that be? I had always believed in the crispy, curved, vanilla-flavored wafers with the slips inside. (page 13)

Our family gathered around the table as we pulled out the boxes, each one bursting with the potential of anonymity. Out came chopsticks, the little clear packets of black soy sauce, and crunchy fortune cookies. Each untucking of the lid released a surge of aroma and a sight to spark the appetite. Would it be the amber-colored noodles of roast pork lo mein? The lightly sweetened crispiness of General Tso's chicken nestled in a bed of flash-cooked broccoli? Or the spicy red chili oils of mapo tofu? Virginal white rice would be doused with steaming sauces, the mingling of simmered soy sauce, piquant vinegar, slivers of ginger, and fragrant garlic. The Chinese food begged to be mixed together: sweet, sour, salty and savory flavors layering upon one another. They tasted even better the next day when the leftovers were reheated. We'd break open the fortune cookies for the message inside, rarely eating the cookie. The cheerfully misspelled, awkwardly phrased, but wise words of the Chinese fortune cookie sages gave me comfort. (page 12)

If the nation hadn't been in the midst of a kosher duck shortage, Micheal Mayer's suspicions wouldn't have been piqued when he walked into the Moshe Dragon Chinese restaurant that fateful August morning. If the crispy, sweet taste of Peking duck hadn't become de rigeur for upscale Jewish house parties in suburban Washington D.C., there might not have been such an unmet appetite for kosher duck, leading to the kind of temptations that arise when demand outstrips supply. If all this had not been so, the Great Kosher Duck Scandal of 1989 might have been averted and the community's faith in its religious leaders might not have been shaken. Reputations might not have been sullied, careers might not have been derailed, and cover-ups might not have been alleged. Moshe Dragon might even still exist today, hosting bar mitzvahs and catering celebratory Shabbat dinners. But "if" is a word upon which history pivots into hypothesis. What happened happened. In a community filled with long memories and short tempers, the effects still reverberate today.

Dear Jenny,

I am so impressed by the liveliness and wit of your writing, the depth of your reporting, and the sweep of your storytelling. Your work is outstanding. Readers are going to marvel at your ability to investigate this subject in so many interesting ways. It will be a wonderful book.

Nate and I have both (separately) been line editing the manuscript assiduously. You'll receive two versions of the first 200 pages via messenger today; the rest by the end of the week.

Because you were so great about nailing down the structural issues at the outset, I'm pretty sure the story is developing and unfolding well. I'll know for sure when I'm done editing. At the moment, the only major question Nate and I have is whether readers will understand the specific nature of your fortune cookie quest. It's not clear whether it's the powerball mystery or the origins. I'm not sure it matters. It's all so entertaining and interesting.

What you most need to do is cut and chisel. We've told you exactly where to do it. There are a lot of extraneous descriptions here: of what people are wearing, how they look, where you're traveling, how you get there. A lot of the conversational digressions can go. All of this is common to first drafts, especially by first-time authors, so none of it surprises me. What pleases me is how clever your observations are and how amusing you are throughout the manuscript. Once you've tightened up and polished the prose, this should read like a winner. So that's my great exhortation to you: Tighten and polish!

When I'm done editing and you've had a chance to review the entire manuscript, we can talk in greater detail. Until then, I hope you will enjoy the sentence-by-sentence, paragraph-by-paragraph attention that Nate and I have lavished upon you.

All my best,

J.

Breathing Easier. The Manuscript Does Not Suck. [Fortune Cookie Chronicles]

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

Jenny's Interests/What she looks for:

* She will only cover a story if it is relevant to the NY, NJ, CT area
* Jenny would like it if publicists married pitches w/trends in society
* She asks to please sound intelligent when pitching
* Jenny wants publicist to be familiar with her style and interests and know what she's written about
* She likes to get tips of what's going on and to be "in the know" about topics other than books

Other information:

* It's best to email and follow-up with a phone call
* She would do a piece around an author's website if it was very creative and interactive

Publishers' Publicity Association November newsletter [Publishers' Publicity Association]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Jennifer 8. Lee

We'd make some joke about how any jackass concept is now up for grabs in Hollywood, but, in a bit of breaking news, our recent posts on weighing the fall fashion issues have been picked up by Pixar for an animated feature starring the voices of Drew Barrymore as Jess Coen, Debra Messing as Scaley the Scale, and Steve Busecmi as Krucoff, a rodent mascot who won't stop commenting on the process.

Off the Record [NYO]

Earlier: Ask And Ye Shall Receive: 'The Man Date'

And If It's a Boy, Will It Be Lleh?

• Anna Wintour's summer home is revealed. And, of course, it's the size of a small country.
• Writer/actress Nancy Balbirer gets her 15 minutes of whatever by selling out her anonymous, insane-ish friend who just happened to be Jennifer Aniston.
• When Times reporter Jenny 8. Lee turns 30, she does it hardcore with four cross-country celebrations.
• Eyeliner-rock bible Spin gets sold and editor Sia Michel is sacked in favor of Andy Pemberton. Chuck Klosterman packs his bags as well, along with the mag's other marquee names.
• We put on our reading glasses and pore over former Men's Journal editor Michael Caruso's contract. More interestingly, though, who did Caruso want fired so badly?
• Bonnie Fuller's husband Michael maxes out his credit card buying fancy flowers for the missus.
• We go to the premiere of The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things and find the it utterly unwatchable.
• Lizzie Grubman and her fiance set the date for their wedding: March 18. If you race to the altar, you can outrun karma.
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Alcoholic.
• For you, dear readers, we willingly let our eyes bleed.

You win this time, Jenny. This time.

Earlier: The Jenny 8. Lee National Birthday Tour

Save the date! The 2006 Four City Dim Sum Tour.

Come celebrate Jenny Lee's 30th birthday!

Take your pick of the following get togethers

March 4 Boston
March 11 New York City
March 18 San Francisco
March 25 Washington DC

And here we are, with merely a one-city birthday party. We feel so gauche.

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Jennifer 8. Lee

People who've had favorite clothes stolen from laundry (for article)

Hi there, I'm a journalist, and just had my best pair of jeans stolen from the laundrette. Am now writing a story (to get the cash to buy a new pair). Any of you have anything significant stolen from your laundry (not socks—something that came as a blow,), and any follow-up stories? No unserious responses please, and you have to be willing to be quoted. Thanks—

Actually, of course not. Jenny 8. would never go for something as plebeian as a Craiglists query, at least not so long as the Harvard alumni listserv still exists. (Also, we don't think she'd lash out in what was clearly a companion post from last night, after the jump.)

But, still, it's really nice to see The Ocho's reporting techniques are finally trickling down to the state-school set.

The bitch who stole my Citizen jeans at the 2nd ave laundrette tonight - 32



Time: 15 minutes ago. Place: the dryer. Occasion: You sneaking bitch, you stole my best jeans from my dryer while I wasn't looking, leaving the Gap pair (thanks a lot). You fucking bitch, have you heard of karma, how about starting a New Year off right (I hope you end up in jail or rehab). Or how about this? Have you heard of buying your own damn jeans, not stealing other people's? I bet you have a fat ass and they won't fit, and you'll throw them out because you are an evil stinking skanky tub of lard, you fucking criminal. People used to get their hands cut off for shit like this.

People Who've Had Favorite Clothes Stolen From Laundry (for Article) [CL]
The Bitch Who Stole My Citizen Jeans at the 2nd Ave Laundrette Tonight [CL]
Earlier: Things to Do on New Year's When You Went to Harvard

[Warner Books editor Jonathan] Karp struck a deal with New York Times Metro reporter Jennifer 8. Lee to write a book about "how Chinese food is more all-American than apple pie," according to Ms. Lee. The book is tentatively titled The Long March of General Tso, and will detail the history of Chinese food in the United States.

Ms. Lee's agent, Larry Weissman, sent out the proposal on Friday, and by Monday had come to terms with Mr. Karp. Mr. Weissman said that there were five pre-emptive bids on the proposal, and that it sold for "well into six figures."

Mr. Karp wouldn t reveal the exact amount, but said that he felt confident "she could buy a lot of steamed pork dumplings with this advance."

From what we hear, she was very happy and sated with that six-figure advance. But then, like a half-hour later, she was totally ready for another one. Weird.

Off the Record [NYO (second item)]

People who are touched by stories of others in need — whether from crises such as Hurricane Katrina or the more daily struggles highlighted in The New York Times Neediest Cases articles — to donate money, time, resources.

Metro metrosexual Nick Confessore goes the earnest route, too:

I am very thankful for my family, my friends, and my surprisingly good health. Given the state of the newspaper industry, Im pretty thankful for my job. And I would remiss if I did not say how thankful I am for strawberry-rhubarb pie, which I expect to be consuming in quantity this Thursday. That's some good sh*t.

And, finally, Boldfacer Campbell Robertson, who leavens the mood:

I'm thankful for the Corey Clarks and the Mario Vazquezes, all of the reality show contestants who, despite the deafening chorus of complaints from those in the public eye about the unbearable burden of fame and from the wiser observers about the inherent bankruptcy of celebrity life, still scramble madly toward fame, proving that humans are far more absurd and entertaining than we ought to be. Also: Chipotle burritos.

What To Call It When Hanging Out Becomes 'Hooking Up'?
By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM
More and more straight men are finding themselves having sex with other men. Does this mean they're gay? Not quite, they say.

CRITICAL SHOPPER
You Don't Have To Go All the Way To Niger To Spot a Good Deal
By ALEX KUCZYNSKI
I found myself in the mood for some yellow-cake — but not the kind you get at Magnolia. No, I wanted to see how quickly a buyer inexperienced with international arms traffic could find some weapons-grade uranium for under the market price of $10/pound.

Young People Enjoy Doing Age-Inappropriate Things
By JENNIFER 8. LEE
A group of well-off young people are doing something generally associated with either children or elderly people. And they claim to do it almost unironically.

Thursday Styles [NYT]

We pictured Campbell Robertson with a shiny pompadour and a Marlboro softpack rolled in the sleeve of his white t-shirt. We expected Nick Confessore to be sticking bananas in Clyde Haberman's tailpipe, showing the old man that there's a new generation in Metro. We awaited Jenny 8 slamming her fist on the Styles desk, demanding — demanding, damn it — that attention be paid to her latest earth-shaking expose, this time on the new trend of two-thirds stockings.

Then we clicked through to the Observer, where we realized the story was about a staff-development lunch — sushi, tandoori chicken, and, of course, cauliflower, that sweet nectar of rebellion — at which 16 young writers were encouraged to stand up for themselves.

You're tearing us apart!

Off the Record [NYO]