Surely sweet young Bee did not intend to mock J. Lo. She would be unconcerned that the Lopez dress picture was taken during a photoshoot for Elle, Hachette's nominal Vogue competitor. But who would put such machinations past her mom, the likely source of the garment?

The Shaffer dress photo has been yanked from Facebook, but perhaps it was meant to be found and leaked! THINK ABOUT IT.

(Photo by WENN)

• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery showed up to a concert "dressed head to toe in black with a black newsboy cap... he looked like he was straight out of a 1998 J.Lo video." [P6]
• Cynthia Nixon said she so did not have a boob job, as the Post reported. The breast cancer survivor and Sex And The City star just visited a hospital oncology department for a checkup. [R&M]
• Britney Spears watched her 17-year-old sister give birth, and then had to take a long airplane flight back to Los Angeles, and then some paprazzo almost got in a fight with her bodyguard, so she totally cried.
• Reality TV sexpot Tila Tequila supposedly got a Manhattan apartment broker to kiss her husband's ex wife. The ex wife also flashed Tila Tequila? And there was boob nuzzling? I guess if you're obscure, this is what you have to do to get into Page Six. [P6]
• Jennifer Lopez's entourage supposedly numbers eight people, including two guards with visibly-holstered guns. They reportedly demanded that a clothing boutique be sealed, while J. Lo was shopping, and that the actress/singer get a 50 percent discount. What's insane is that her twins' entourage is both larger and more surly. [P6]
• For Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party, there will be medics on standby. Not for Mandela but for barely-able-to-stand performer/drug addict Amy Winehouse. She had to overcome so much to make it to the show. Sniffle. [Mirror]

• Alec Baldwin lashes out at the family court system in his book, not his ex-wife Kim Basinger. He takes care of her at live party appearances: "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." [Showbiz Spy]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their big house-de-thetaning party in Beverly Hills, and a helicopter or tree-climber showed up to take pictures. In the first shot, you can see Cruise trying to crash the photographer with his Scientology mind powers. Guests included Victoria Beckham, whose terrified husband stayed home so he couldn't be kidnapped again; Oprah Winfrey, who brought her very close personal friend Gail King; Jennifer Lopez, who likely left the babies at home with their security detail; Tobey Maguire; and fellow crazy Scientologists Kimora Lee and Kirstie Alley.
• Leven Rambin: "I have come to an understanding that soap fans are unlike any other; dedicated, passionate, and loving." Actually, all fans are dedicated, passionate and loving. That's the definition of "fan." [Oh No They Didn't]
• John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston continue to hang out. [Faded Youth]
• Diddy and Cameron Diaz held hands. She said he "must" try her "bread pudding," and spoon fed it to him. Then they snuck off into Prince's basement together. They're of course "just friends." [Rush & Molloy]
• Wesley Snipes is confident he isn't going to jail for the tax evasion thing. He is out on bail and plans an appeal. [P6]
• Sulu from Star Trek getting married to his gay partner, has a sense of humor: "He got down on one knee. I said, ‘What are you doing down there?'" [R&M]
• About one-third of Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen from wife Courtney Love, who kept them in "a pink teddy-bear-shaped bag" that she used to take "everywhere." She said she was suicidal. [News of the World]
• Rapper M.I.A., who was going to have to leave the country, is marrying a media mogul's son right before her work papers expire. So if they catch her at the border, she really will have visas in her name. [Oh No They Didn't]
• Charlie Sheen has remarried, which means he has a new person to apologize to. [Hollyscoop]
• Hugh Grant, the film star once busted for prostitution, was very interested in taking home a "leggy brunette" from a club until he realized photographers were present. [Showbiz Spy]
• Angelina Jolie keeps guns at home, knows how to use them. [Showbiz Spy]
• Awkward: Harrison Ford had to explicitly deny widespread rumors that he will finally marry Calista Flockhart. [Showbiz Spy]

"There was, for instance, the female pop singer who requested an evening meeting during the time Mr. Finton’s mother was terminally ill with cancer, about six years ago. It was Mr. Finton’s birthday, and his mother had planned a special dinner. Mr. Finton explained this to the singer’s father, who acted as her on-site representative. A short time later, Mr. Finton got a call: The singer, he was told, would see him that evening. Mr. Finton complied."

Now, Finton—the "Indiana Jones" of luxury contractors—has plenty of celebrity clients; and he doesn't name Connecticut-living Jennifer Lopez. But the new mother-of-two is the only pop diva listed as one of his clients on his website. If she's not the heartless client to whom Finton was referring, he should have realized that hers was the name that would come up with just a few minutes of web research.

• Testifying against her alleged stalker, Uma Thurman's dad said the man emailed him a few times about the study-abroad program at Columbia, where the dad is a professor. He had no clue the guy was a stalker, or even knew who his daughter was. Then one day the alleged stalker wrote: "Today the center of my forehead is ticking now and then. I feel in love with your daughter Uma." And later: "Apparently hoping it would be forwarded to the actress.... 'Work on that accent for our wedding night. Pretty please.'"
• Charlie Sheen resumed seeing hookers at least until last year, including while he was in rehab, using fake doctor's appointments, according to a former Los Angeles madam. Sheen's rep said "this is an old, old, old story," as though that's not the point. [P6]
• Rosie O'Donnell on Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair shoot: "Leave Miley Cyrus alone... Listen, Annie Leibovitz – I had two photo shoots with her... You kind of do what she says. It's intimidating. I also didn't think it was a pornographic photo in any capacity. I thought it was sort of a beautiful portrait." [People]
• Spencer Pratt on Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair shoot: "I didn’t think it was that bad. Supposedly, she’s wearing a top underneath. It’s artistic." [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez's reality show will involve her stupid new perfume, and not the fortified wing of her house she and her Scientologist friends designed for her twins. Great, I just signed up for TLC, and now I have to cancel. [People]
• Rehabbed actress Kirsten Dunst is supposedly taking co-star Ryan Gosling to 12-step meetings. [P6]
• Singer Mariah Carey is engaged to rapper Nick Cannon. The ring is 17 carats and cost $2.5 million. Tasteful. [P6]

• Jennifer Lopez is going to star in a TLC reality show about raising her twins. Oh this is going to be awesome. We're going to get to see all of the crazy stuff Tom Cruise and Lopez's other Scientologist advisers had installed for the little ones: the security cameras, "sterile" baby wing, sanitized flowers and the staff of baby bodyguards and color therapist.
• Semi-retired comedian Rosie O'Donnell on Star Jones' divorce from Al Reynolds: "we all fool rselves [sic] / sometimes." Also, Drudge dropped her from his blogroll for some reason. [Ask Ro]
• Amy Winehouse got high in the street, headbutted someone, punched someone in the face, stiffed her cabbie and made out with some dude. Leave it to Fleet Street to hype up a typical Wednesday night like it's some big thing. [Sun]
• Ashley Olsen's mansion is undergoing a $1.6 million spruce-up and the actress was kind of wondering if she could crash at your place for a while?? Five-star hotels get so lonely. [Star]
• Doogie Howser went on Ellen and pretended to have his head cut off. This is the same guy who didn't want any more Britney Spears cameos on his sitcom because it infringed on his artistic integrity. [YouTube]
• John Mayer is totally going to work his way up to black belt. [X17]
• Meadow from Sopranos broke up with her boyfriend. [Us]
• FHM magazine decided Megan Fox was the hottest woman in the entire world, this year. Angelina Jolie slipped four places to number 12, because pregnancy is so not hot, and Britney Spears somehow rejoined the list at #100, because crazy is very much hot. [OK!]
• We have all made Naomi Campbell so furious with our incompetence that either her hair is falling out or the supermodel is tearing it out. [Sun]

• An anonymous caller told George Clooney about his new girlfriend Sarah Larson, "Dump the bitch before you're sorry." Clooney got his off-duty-cop chauffeur to have the call traced, but it was made from a pre-paid cell phone and they can't figure out who bought the phone. Also, the Sun found a supposed ex-boyfriend of Larson who said Larson had "special love potions."
• Jennifer Lopez wants Tom Cruise to be her twins' godfather and convinced her husband Marc Anthony to go along with the plan. Perfect. Also, the kids' christening outfits cost $200,000. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kitten-and-puppy-hating liar Paris Hilton isn't going to participate in the casting process for her supposed new Best Friend Forever. Surprise, surprise. [P6]
• Talk show host Oprah Winfrey cried on her show over pictures of her dead dog. "I’ve got to get myself together... We’ll be right back." [Splash]
• Rapper Jay-Z married Beyoncé in his New York apartment Saturday, according to Mary J. Bilge, who is on tour with him. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Amy Winehouse is going to give her incarcerated husband Blake an album of very special love songs written just for him, and he is going to sell that album for drugs. [Showbiz Spy]
• For her recent incident at the airport, model Naomi Campbell may be barred from British Airways for life.
• Comedian Joan Rivers said of Victoria Beckham, "I dislike Victoria Beckham... Calm down, you were a Spice Girl." [HollyScoop]

• Probably trying to dispel rumors she's about to divorce Guy Ritchie, and also drum up more publicity for her new album, Madonna overshared about her sex life to magazine Elle, saying screwing Ritchie is "amazing," even though both husband and wife sleep with BlackBerrys under their pillows. Elle pics are here. (Photo: Vanity Fair via Daily Mail)
• First Britney Spears opened talks with her old manager, now she's cozying up to ex Kevin Federline. According to a Star source, the singers hung out at Easter and "Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them." [Star]
• Sex and the City's Kirstin Davis dared to show her face in public, and even shop, even though naked sex pictures of possibly her were released to the whole entire internet. [Faded Youth]
• Jay Z and Beyoncé are allegedly about to wed, only 16 months after the Post said they would. [ET]
• Jennifer Lopez is ready to lose the 50 pounds she gained when she had twins. [OK!]

• Apple's miraculous iPhone has exponentially increased the productivity of scuzzballs like sometime Britney Spears boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. Though paparazzo Ghalib has his hands full shopping for pregnancy tests with singer Spears, getting uppity with his former coworkers and maybe cutting exploitive photo deals, the iPhone allowed him to also have internet sexytime chats with other women. Britney found the messages and threw Ghalib's iPhone in a pool, then threw the pap out of her house. He wrote a stupid note offering her "milky soup."
• Rather than take Spears to a psychiatric ward and have LAPD escorts and a paparazzi motorcade shut down traffic, the shrinks now come directly to Spears' house, at least for scheduled checkups. Sensible. [OK!]
• There was an entire car full of security guys just to follow around Spears as she drove her car for the first time in a while. Spears tooled "around aimlessly for hours between Malibu, Beverly Hills and every luxury hotel, Starbucks and fast-food joint in-between."
• A former FBI agent revealed that Mick Jagger was almost killed 40 years ago in an amphibious assassination attempt involving a boatload of Hells Angels whose boat capsized halfway through the attempt. Also terrifying: Singer Carly Simon was halfway through an alleged "affair" with Jagger when a call from Jagger's jealous wife Bianca drove her further into the arms of singer James Taylor.
• J. Lo named her new twins Max and Emme, probably after some kind of show about dragons. Also, her hospital security detail managed not to kill anyone, as far as the public knows, but the entire rest of the maternity ward hates J. Lo's guts.
• Comedian Rosie O'Donnell's most precious item, other than her secret Britney Spears doll, is "my Mac." [Ask Ro]
• Actress Ashley Olsen, or maybe Mary-Kate, is wearing the worst kinds of dead animals in Paris. [Perez]
• British Prince Harry says he is "no hero" upon his return from military service in Afghanistan and probably wishes he could have stayed and continued to flirt with this one female pilot he was keen on.
• Madonna threatens to adopt another baby from the terrified nation of Malawi. [Showbiz Spy]
• Heath Ledger's green 1975 VW van, now stolen, was outfitted with "mass vehicle upgrades" helping bring the total value up to $70,000. [TMZ]
• Diddy finally goes bi. [TMZ]

British People points out that Jennifer Lopez is quite rich already, as is her husband. And yet they still want more money. I'm in disbelief.

The UK might have given us Adam Smith, but America is where capitalism flowered, and later figured out a way to sell said flowers. Even in the 18th century, we were all about the Benjamins. You know, because Benjamin Franklin was alive back then and now he's on the $100 bill.

Most Americans would sell pictures of their babies if they could. It's just that most babies look like potatoes and weren't surgically removed from a once toned stomach.

And along with being capitalists, Americans are exhibitionists. Social networking started here. A friend of mine recently gave birth to twin boys, and her baby pictures were up on Facebook on her sons' actual birthday. And by the by, these boys had the biggest baby balls I have ever seen; I've seen smaller balls on full grown men. Too bad this friend wasn't famous; that would have been a great People spread.

So of course Jennifer Lopez is selling her baby pictures for as much as she can get. Money for privacy invasion is the American dream.

• Does J-Lo REALLY need to sell pictures of her twins for $6MILLION [British People]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]

We use Getty Images database as a proxy for measuring the social behavior patterns of celebrities. Getty Images collected almost 1,600 pictures from the 2007 Vanity Fair event. 248 different people were identified in these photos. The means, even if we discount the fact that not everyone at the event actually was photographed, at least 30,628 connections are mathematically possible. More interestingly, it seems that a surprising number of these potential connections are made throughout the year at various other events. When we looked at the entire database of Getty Images photos associated with entertainment events, we find that some of the people in attendance at the Vanity Fair party ended up at other events with at least 50% of those also at the party.

Take for example Jennifer Lopez: Of the 248 people photographed at the party, between 2006-2007, she ended up at other events throughout the year with 134 them while expectedly, given her social butterfly status, Lopez’s husband, Marc Anthony was at other events with 121 of the 248 photographed attendees. Similarly, Penelope Cruz ended up at other events with 123 Vanity Fair party attendees.

Figure 1: The celebrities who attended the most events with other Vanity Fair partiers

1. Jennifer Lopez
2. Penelope Cruz
3. Marc Anthony
4. Beyonce
5. Helen Mirren
6. Jennifer Hudson
7. Sharon Stone
8. Will Smith
9. Forest Whitaker

Further, part of the appeal of the Vanity Fair party is that even if you don’t know everyone, there is an extraordinarily high chance that you will be able to meet that producer, director, actress etc. that you want to meet if you try just a little, and this meeting doesn’t have to occur at the party. Vanity Fair party goers are just more connected than the rest of us. As a whole, Americans have a maximum of six degrees of separation, which means that the worst case scenario is that you can reach anyone in America through at most six acquaintances. (No, this isn’t just a phrase, it’s been tested by social scientists ranging from Stanley Milgram to Duncan Watts, and Will Smith, ironically, even stars in a movie with the same title). Conversely, the people at the Vanity Fair party network have just 4 degrees of separation.

What this means is that those attending the Vanity Fair party not only have just 1 degree of separation from those also at the party (by virtue of being in the same place you only have to tap someone on the shoulder at the bar and say hello), they also can connect to anyone else in the entire database of people and events photographed by Getty through 3 mediators (or people). And there are some people who are even more connected – they need less than one person to get in touch with someone else. For example, Vanity Fair attendees, Oprah Winfrey and Kimora Lee Simmons are only 1.7 degrees of separation from anyone else photographed by Getty, while Suzanne Somers’ degrees of separation is 1.96 and Elton John’s is 1.78, which means that they need contact with, well, 0.7-0.96 of a another person to access anyone else.

Figure 2: Degrees of Separation for the Rich and Famous

1. Kimora Lee Simmons
2. Nancy Wilson
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. Gayle King
5. Zhang Ziyi
6. Elton John
7. Brandon Routh
8. Fran Lebowitz

With the cancellation of the Vanity Fair party putting the kibosh on all those potential interactions with other beautiful, interesting celebrities, a star might be inclined to stay at home, order Chinese food and watch the Oscars on TV. And that decision, as it turns out, would be okay.

Because so many of those attending the Vanity Fair party end up at so many other events together, there is a high probability that the run-ins and social networking that occur at the Vanity Fair party will occur in other places to, albeit not quite to the same level. Now that the most fabulous party (and as it seems greatest networking event) of the year has been likely permanently cancelled, it would be useful to have a plan B, to know where to even bother showing up, and we’ll tell you. Sure, going to the actual Academy Awards or the Golden Globes would be an option. But with the cancellation of the raison d’etre for the evening, why bother getting all dressed up to sit quietly in an uncomfortable seat for 3 hours? Instead, we suggest hitting up the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Ball, New York Fashion Week or the Instyle and Warner Brother’s Golden Globes party. According to our research, you’re guaranteed to find some of your former Vanity Fair party BFFs there (See chart).

Elizabeth Currid, assistant professor at the School of Policy, Planning and Development at University of Southern California, is the author of The Warhol Economy: How Fashion, Art and Music Drive New York City. Gilad Ravid is a lecturer and researcher at Industrial Engineering and Management department, Ben Gurion University of the Negev in Israel.

• How Much Is Your Baby Worth?
• Giving You Baby Max, For $1.5m
• After the jump, gratuitous video of twin baby girls, making dolphin noises at eachother

You have to imagine that Jennifer Lopez has been less than pleased with the way things have shaken out since the end of that Bennifer mess in 2004. Sure, she managed to get herself revenge-married within six months, but Ben Affleck got married too and in the type of checkmate move that almost makes you respect him and his enormous head, he managed to get his new lady pregnant before the wedding.

Now, the two of them are walking around town sporting one of the most adorable babies out there and JLo's stuck with Marc Anthony, who, while appropriately-sized, is not the creature she envisioned would be suckling at her breast more than three years into the marriage. Add to that the fact that both her music and acting careers seemed to have stalled and you just know that Jennifer Lopez has been working and planning for this baby/career-resurgence for a while.

First, she got Scientology. She won't admit it and probably doesn't even actually believe in it, but obviously since the two times a month she got drunk enough to sleep with Marc Anthony were not yielding desired results, she took the necessary steps. Because, maybe he's an alien that lives in a volcano, or something, but when it comes to making adorable babies, Xenu is clearly your guy.

After Scientology knocked her up—we normal people don't have the money or fame to ever know or understand the exact process of how that happens—she developed a pre-baby project. Obviously, you can't launch a baby with nothing behind it, that's in poor taste. It doesn't matter if said project is any good, or even remotely creatively-titled. The less work put into it the better. Stress is no good for baby.

Right now she's doing the necessary baby promotion, which she obviously planned for by designing an entire wardrobe that made her look pregnant in which she could be photographed while coyly refusing to answer questions about her pregnancy. She is clearly milking this stage, but who can blame her? She put the work in. And surely today's Us Weekly cover is just a prelude to the two-part Diane Sawyer sit-down in a softly-lit room.

There is one thing that is vaguely upsetting about all of this—it's unoriginal. Popping out a kid to salvage a fading career has been done more times than Jennifer's nose. In fact, Halle Berry is doing it right now. We simply expect more from the woman who brought us "Maid in Manhattan." Does she not realize she's gonna be splitting the covers when she loses all her baby weight in ten days? And there's no way the book she's already written about her battle with post-partum depression is gonna sell as well with Halle's out there at the same time.

As their progesterone levels soar, their very cravings become matters of public record, as in the case of Toni Braxton, who for nine months pined for Doritos and Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats; Victoria Beckham, who battened on smoked salmon; and Angelina Jolie, who stuffed herself with Reese's Pieces, which she had flown into Namibia from the Hershey factory in Pennsylvania. What's more, we download their pirated sonograms from the Web and even submit our favorite personalities to probing gynecological exams. Consider the National Enquirer, which travels like a scope through Jennifer Lopez's allegedly barren womb, taking us on a tour of her entire reproductive tract: "Doctors injected a dye into Jennifer's fallopian tubes, where a blockage was discovered. The pressure of the dye injection opened the blockage. She was also put on the fertility drug Clomid to boost her production of eggs." So deep is the spell of Hollywood on the mass audience that it has turned us into amateur internists and obstetricians, crazed anatomists who seek a perverse intimacy with our divinities, attempting to narrow the physical distance that divides us, reaching out through photographs and gossip columns to touch their bodies, measuring the motility of their sperm and the thickness of their uterine walls.

Reproduction of the rich and famous [Salon]

Earlier: Paris Hilton, Encoded Signifier

Jenny Steals Their Hearts [NYDN]

Undercover NYPD officers were brought in as "advisors" to Marc Anthony to negotiate the deal, which was eventually settled at $300,000. The two men were then arrested as they were going to pick up their money, saving us from a mass release of the couple's fluffy nuptial sacrifice and bringing us one step closer to winning the war on terror. More importantly, the bravery of our local law enforcement has allowed Jennifer Lopez to once again sleep soundly on her bed of golden coins.

J.Lo Video Sting [NYP]

"Our investigation shows that, contrary to listener expectations that songs are selected for airplay based on artistic merit and popularity, air time is often determined by undisclosed payoffs to radio stations and their employees," Spitzer said.

In one instance in July 2001, Buffalo radio station executive David Universal and a guest were flown to New York City in exchange for his adding the Jennifer Lopez song "I'm Real" to the playlist at WKSE.

We like our crusading AG as much as the next guy, but: Is there anyone, anywhere who was under the impression J.Lo got airplay based on artistic merit?

Frankly, it makes us feel a little better to know payola was involved.

Runaway Bribes [NYP]