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New York, 9:18 PM
Fri Dec 11
54 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of forwardmotion forwardmotion
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Did Coulter's family have the wiring done? I mean, picture sitting across the Thanksgiving table from her. They are going to enjoy themselves for the first time in the 56 years she's been scuttling on this earth.
     Reply
    forwardmotion was starred forwardmotion was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    So someone clocked Ann Coulter in the face, I'd wager. Maybe it was John Edwards, for calling him a "faggot."


    Unless she broke her jaw gnawing on the bones of the children of the poor. Gotta get your calcium, menopause is curling its finger at you, Annie.


    Ryan, please let us know more.

     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @BookishLookish: BTW, I would pay good money to see some quality video of someone clocking Ann Coulter solidly in the face. Good money, I tell you.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @BookishLookish: Sorta like this:

     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    11/25/08

    @bjonston: She'd take it like a man, too.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Those pictures of Suri Cruise are fucking adorable.


    Tom: "She's so open. She waves to strangers."

    Me: "Yes Tom, that's what 2-year-olds do."

     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    11/25/08

    @CaptainFantastic:
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Karma is a fucking bitch repugs. 2008 is going medieval on your ass.
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    OK, I'll be the one to go there...With her jaw wired shut, is it possible that La Coulter will lose weight? And in other news, is it possible that SJP will be the William Shatner of 2015? Inquiring minds want to know.
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @ShanghaiLil: Actually, I'm hoping she simply disappears, like a wisp of smoke after a few days of not eating anything.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    The only thing that could be better than Coulter having her mouth wired shut, would be if she got run over on the way to work by a drunk-driving Bill O'Reilly (with Sean Hannity sitting in the passenger seat doing lines of coke off the dashboard), after which the car would careen out of control, smash into a telephone pole and explode into a fireball of righteous indignation.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/25/08

    @bjonston: With Rush and Drudge in the back seat, locked in an embrace?
     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @SarahHeartburn: I totally blanked on that. Of course. Drudge and Limbaugh are doing it, doggie-style in the back seat (Rush is the bottom-that way he can mainline heroine while Matt Drudge mainlines him)!
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    11/25/08

    @bjonston: Now don't forget Michelle Malkin bound and gagged in the trunk.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @BookishLookish: Yup. She's in there too. Along with that Hasslebeck byotch, too.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of FlipTurn FlipTurn
    11/25/08

    @bjonston: Wait: is there any room left for Sarah Palin, perhaps with a slaughtered turkey?
     Reply
    FlipTurn was starred FlipTurn was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @FlipTurn: Of course there's room for Sarah. These douchebags drive a fucking Hummer everywhere they go, even if it's just down the block to get a cup of coffee.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Was the Paris Hilton scene in the bar like Glen Close's at the end of "Dangerous Liaisons"? I need to work on my script for the movie of the week biography of Paris Hilton.
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Why does this phrase "leggy reactionary" remind me of this?


     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of DevilsAvocado DevilsAvocado
    11/25/08

    @SarahHeartburn:


    Ha - that's priceless. The all-seeing eye.

     Reply
    DevilsAvocado was starred DevilsAvocado was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/25/08

    @DevilsAvocado: And then we have the legless reactionary:


    (I will stop now, I promise.)

     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of Calraigh Calraigh
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Ha! '' Jermy''. * Snigger*
     Reply
    Calraigh was starred Calraigh was unstarred
    Image of surfacenoise76 surfacenoise76
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    The Ann coulter story is innacurate. She was actually just being fitted for a grill. It remains to be seen whether she'll select gold or platinum.
     Reply
    surfacenoise76 was starred surfacenoise76 was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    11/25/08

    @surfacenoise76:

    The things one learns when you get all up in Ann Coulter's.
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/25/08

    @surfacenoise76: Grill? As in Coleman? God knows her mouth is big enough.


    But I'm sure she's deep down a really nice person.

     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @surfacenoise76: I'm pretty sure the bitch will go for diamond-studded titanium.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
    Image of Trixie from Toronto Trixie from Toronto
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    So wait, Benji dumped Paris? I thought she turfed him because she wasn't getting enough paparazzi attention and then tried making out with that other tall Greek Stavros guy?


    In other news, why the fuck do I care?

     Reply
    Trixie from Toronto was starred Trixie from Toronto was unstarred
    Image of DevilsAvocado DevilsAvocado
    11/25/08

    @Trixie from Toronto:


    The Paris Hilton is a favourite haunt of the worst class of Eurotrash.


    And, in other news... few things beat a nice, thick slice of steaming fresh schadenfreude pie a la Hilton.

     Reply
    DevilsAvocado was starred DevilsAvocado was unstarred
    Image of ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    Maybe MC Coulter can use this gimmick to jump start her hip hop career a la Kanye West:

     Reply
    ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was starred ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    But where's the rest of the Coulter story? How did her jaw get broken? And who do we give the medal to?
     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of PandoraSpocks PandoraSpocks
    11/25/08

    @SarahHeartburn: Hi Sarah! I'm fine.
     Reply
    PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    11/25/08

    @PandoraSpocks: Heh. :-)
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    If Jeremy Irons were to perform the fiddle in character as Claus von Bülow, you can be damned sure that I'd be watching.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    11/25/08

    @Private Hangnail: Will you put on a wig and syringe and play his Sunny?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of DevilsAvocado DevilsAvocado
    11/25/08

    @scroll_lock:


    But read the post, Scrolly - he's Jermy. You'll need to scrub afterwards.

     Reply
    DevilsAvocado was starred DevilsAvocado was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    11/25/08

    @DevilsAvocado: When you're comatose thanks to enough insulin to keel over a stallion, I'm guessing you're not thinking hygiene but what do I know?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/25/08

    @scroll_lock: Can I repurpose the wig and syringe I'm currently wearing to be Sunny?
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    11/25/08

    @Private Hangnail: Yes, and I love the added flourish of the Joker-like lipstick Claus applied to you!
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of DevilsAvocado DevilsAvocado
    11/25/08

    In reply to Ann Coulter's Mouth Wired Shut In Time For Thanksgiving
    1. Good to see a turkey stuffed for Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays.

    2. That's Hot!

    3. Dear Paul. See: Pope. Michelle prefers John, too. And she has also stopped writing fan mail to Ringo.

    4. Henceforth, he shall be known as Jermy Irons. He did always seem to have a slightly seedy edge to him. Thank you, Ryan.

    5. Sex and Support Hose: The Movie
     Reply
    DevilsAvocado was starred DevilsAvocado was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    11/25/08

    @DevilsAvocado:

    How does a person just "broke her jaw"? Was it an errant yawn, I wonder?
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of DevilsAvocado DevilsAvocado
    11/25/08

    @Aaron Altman:


    Hey, AA! Nice to see you.


    I don't see it yawning very much. Implies a certain torpitude that she seems to lack. I rather envisage something akin to what a boa constrictor does with its jaw when it's devouring an entire bush pig in a single sitting. Only this time, its jaw didn't snap back after eating.

     Reply
    DevilsAvocado was starred DevilsAvocado was unstarred
    Image of bjonston bjonston
    11/25/08

    @Aaron Altman: I'm thinking she was deep-throating Bill O'Reilly over some falafels and he got a little too excited and broke her jaw at the moment of impact, as it were. Tough break, Ann.
     Reply
    bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred
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