jerks - Gawker

posts about #jerks more →
'Ronn. Ronn. Ronn!'
If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
Love Is Stronger Than Face-Slashing
Everyone Still Making Fun of Poor Jonathan Capehart
Spitzer Still a Jerk
The Fall of the House of Noel
He Will Clean Up Himself Now
Captain Chesley 'Sully' Sullenberger: Traitor
Asshole Cop Canned

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kevinacronin
10/20/09

In reply to 'Ronn. Ronn. Ronn!'
I gotta believe the the flack was doing what he was told/paid to do, only to try and make Hinn look gracious. Of course by default, if he is Hinn's publicist, then he is an ass-clown-whore to begin with
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Liberace
10/20/09

In reply to 'Ronn. Ronn. Ronn!'
Ronn, as Gawker has dutifully pointed out now for quite a while, you are doing your job WRONG!!!!!!

Come to think of it you are doing your LIFE wrong, too. #ronntorossian
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Foster Kamer
10/20/09

In reply to 'Ronn. Ronn. Ronn!'
Aaaaaaaand: fired. #ronntorossian
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Greasy Thumb Guzik
10/20/09

@Foster Kamer:
Who the Hell else will be stupid enough to hire him after this fiasco? #ronntorossian
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Foster Kamer
10/20/09

@Greasy Thumb Guzik: You'd be surprised. This is nothing. This is typical. #ronntorossian
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sparkyl
10/16/09

In reply to If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
Cancel Christmas? Christmas lives, it's just gonna be regifted! #thepoors
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miss_msry
10/16/09

In reply to If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
Christmas, as a money transfer scheme, has been dead to me for years.

Take that Scrooge McDuck!!! #thepoors
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TheExperience
10/16/09

In reply to If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
It's not rocket science to say "I'm not spending money on office gifts for people I neither know nor like." Nor do you have to go bankrupt on buying a load of useless crap for relatives you hardly ever see.

Last year, I had no money AT ALL. None. And I bought small gifts for maybe three important people, baked a lot of dirt cheap brown sugar pies for others and still got invited to Christmas dinner, the tree still lit up, snow still fell and I saved myself stressful trips to the local, soul crushing mall. It was nice. #thepoors
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bytememehard
10/16/09

@TheExperience: I'd love to taste your brown sugar pie! #thepoors
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contains_hot_liquid
10/16/09

In reply to If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
Up here in the North there are no wage packet jobs for us
Thank Christ
While young married couples discuss the poverties
Of their self-built traps
And the junior clergy demand more cash
We spit in their plate and wait for the ice to melt #thepoors
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miss_msry
10/16/09

@contains_hot_liquid:

How poetic. Seriously. #thepoors
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contains_hot_liquid
10/16/09

@miss_msry: Ah it's Mark E Smith, from the Fall, from "Dragnet". 1979. #thepoors
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Lizawithazee
10/16/09

@contains_hot_liquid: Hearted for a Mark E Smith quote. #thepoors
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nozer
10/16/09

In reply to If You Didn't Want to Be Poor You Never Should Have Celebrated Christmas
Yes, please, let's cancel Christmas. If you want, feel free to go home and visit loved ones, but that holiday is a fucking monument to consumerism. I know that's such a "high school rebel with a conscience" thing to say, but it's true.

If you're related to me, you're getting a homemade sock this year. Feel free to knit the other sock yourself. #thepoors
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howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches)
10/16/09

@nozer: That is actually brilliant. Then I only have to knit six socks instead of twelve. OR I could have everyone pay homage to the memory of Michael Jackson with one glove apiece, san sequins. #thepoors
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sympathyforthebasementcat
10/16/09

@nozer: Has the Baby Jesus not suffered enough? You can be a Scrooge and call off Christmas, but for Jesus' sake, I'll just have to celebrate twice as hard. I'm gonna wear out my Home Alone DVD, gorge on Christmas cookies, and enjoy glad tidings of good beer. Consumerism never felt so warm and fuzzy. #thepoors
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Seeräuber Jenny
10/15/09

In reply to Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
Either I'm drunk and seeing double or the newest new Gawker system is a tad hyperactive. #hirammonserrate
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Mediahohoho
10/15/09

On the other hand, the opposition to same-sex marriage has a new face. And he'll cut a bitch.
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Edited by Mediahohoho at 10/15/09 7:20 PM Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

Mediahohoho
10/15/09

@Seeräuber Jenny: Must it be one or the other? #hirammonserrate
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Seeräuber Jenny
10/15/09

@Mediahohoho:

A drink wouldn't be a bad idea on this cold, dark, rainy night.

OK, you replied to my post. SO WHERE IS THE LITTLE BOX? #hirammonserrate
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Seeräuber Jenny
10/15/09

In reply to Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
I haven't followed this case closely, but I remember reading that after eliciting basic facts the prosecutor did not press the victim. I assume he couldn't do it because he knew she would lie.

Normally, I think it's wrong for the public to make conclusions beyond what the evidence presented in court showed, but I think we all know what really happened here.

What is her problem? #hirammonserrate
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Seeräuber Jenny
10/15/09

In reply to Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
I haven't followed this case closely, but I remember reading that after eliciting basic facts the prosecutor did not press the victim. I assume he couldn't do it because he knew she would lie.

Normally, I think it's wrong for the public to make conclusions beyond what the evidence presented in court showed, but I think we all know what really happened here.

What is her problem? #hirammonserrate
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Unsolicited Advice
10/15/09

In reply to Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
He'll slash you again, lady. I hope you kept that in mind when you were lying on the stand. #hirammonserrate
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MisterMustard
10/15/09

In reply to Hiram Monserrate "Not Guilty," Technically
To celebrate, he's taking his girlfriend out for drinks--with plastic cups this time. What a guy! #hirammonserrate
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
10/01/09

In reply to Love Is Stronger Than Face-Slashing
...and being named "Hiram" is not a mitigating circumstance.
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DahlELama
10/01/09

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: If it's good enough for Mr. Lodge, it's good enough for a face slasher.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
10/01/09

@DahlELama:

Interesting. "Hiram" has biblical and masonic undertones.

[en.wikipedia.org]

"In Masonic tradition Hiram I is considered one of three founding Grand Masters of the fraternity. He appears in Masonic ritual as the provider of materials, money and craftsmen for the construction of Solomon's Temple. This comes from the Biblical account of the alliance between Solomon's Israel and Hiram I's Tyre. In Masonic legend, King Hiram is said to have sent his most skilled master craftsman, Hiram Abiff, to serve as the construction's foreman"

[en.wikipedia.org]

What are the chances the Hiram The Slasher's dad was/is a freemason?

If so, does this contribute to his political durability?

(If anyone cares, that is)
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God
10/01/09

In reply to Love Is Stronger Than Face-Slashing
Aw, kids! Does no one care that his accuser has forgiven him? She has moved beyond all this pettiness and finger-pointing. So should yall. The victim has forgiven the perp here, my babies. So all charges should be dropped. But you kids get all inconsistent and apply the victim's forgiveness as a mitigating factor for Poor Kid-Fucking Polanski and not Poor Face-Slashing Monserrate. Poor Polanski's slutty accuser has made a mature decision to recognize her mistakes and move on and look to the future and forgive that poor man. Why are yall acting all high and mighty and disapproving of Poor Monserrate's slutty accuser when she does the same thing?

Anyways, future ladyface-slashers, I sadly report that even if your victim does forgive you, liberals will show you no mercy :( Unless you're a rich and famous artiste. In that case, the scars on your victim's face will be an engrossing visual commentary on the meaning of life and an insight into the human condition. People might even thank you for putting the scars there and contributing so much to the world.
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