jesus freaks - Gawker

posts about #jesusfreaks more →
Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Tiller Murder Suspect Steeped in Jesus-Freakery, Extremism

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Steverino Begins
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
He's either going to grow up with an extreme fear of churches, or with an exorcism fetish, or both.
Reply

Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred

BookishLookish
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I think my favorite homosexual spirits on Gawker are phloxy, bytememe, la cieca, oy veh and kid twist. And I believe if I could get them all five in one room, we could purge this Manifested Glory church of its wretchedness.
Reply

BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred

smartster
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I've never understood how you can't "agree with a lifestyle."

Like:
Person possessed by gay demons: "I'm gay."

Whack job church: "I don't agree with your lifestyle."

PPBGD: "Yeah but I'm telling you the truth."

WJC: "I don't agree."

PPBGD: "No but really I mean it, I am gay."

WJC: "I don't agree."

I've never understood how sexuality can be considered a lifestyle either for that matter.
Reply

smartster was starred smartster was unstarred

BookishLookish
06/25/09

@smartster: They don't have the balls to show their vileness and say "I hate you," so they say "I don't agree."
Reply

BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred

The Real JR
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
"Rip it from his throat! Come on, you homosexual demon! You homosexual spirit, we call you out right now! Loose your grip, Lucifer!"

"Come out of his belly...It's in the belly - push."

"Right now in the name of Jesus, I call the homosexuality, right now in the name of Jesus."

I'm totally hot right now.
Reply

The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred

Mediahohoho
06/25/09

@The Real JR: If he got the geigh all the way back in his throat, then this young man has talents that are probably wasted in church (although it's even odds that's where they were first developed).
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

iplaudius
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
<obligatory_snark>

You people just don’t understand black culture. It’s not about hating on homos. It’s about keeping the DL true.

</obligatory_snark>

<inflammatory_rant>

Of course, there is that nagging question of personal responsibility. Call homosexuality what you will—a sin, a trait, a psychopathology—but why must it be blamed on the devil, evil spirits, or demons? What’s the point of being forgiven for sins that aren’t actually your fault ("the devil made me do it")?

There is not one instance in the "Old Testament" where a person sinned and was punished as a consequence of demon possession. Why? Because demon possession is a bunch of pagan crap. It has no business in a monotheistic theology that takes as a fundamental premise the ability—and responsibility—of the human being to make decisions between right and wrong.

So which is it? Did the "gods" (i.e., demons) make you do it? Or is there only God and world he made, in which case you must take responsibility for your actions?

</inflammatory_rant>
Reply

iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred

whupassmaster
06/24/09

@iplaudius: Of late, we've seen news stories about gay penguins in a german zoo, published scientific studies on occurrences of butt-sexing throughout the animal kingdom, etc. I want to see a religious nut scold nature for committing crimes against itself.
Reply

whupassmaster was starred whupassmaster was unstarred

iplaudius
06/24/09

@whupassmaster: Orthodox Jews and Roman Catholics (among other groups, surely) accept that homosexuality occurs naturally. In other words, they believe that God makes some people constitutionally homosexual. Of course, given the prohibition against homosexual acts, it is considered an unfortunate "trait," and it means the homosexual must remain chaste. How humane! (And unnatural!)
Reply

iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred

whupassmaster
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
This story is stale, Gawker...Queerty wrote about this about two weeks ago. It's cute how you heteros rehash homo news and call it fresh. Sorta like how you move into homo neighborhoods and call yourselves hip.

Anywho, we must all remember one of Jesus' lesser known beatitudes: "Blessed be thy fat-assed bigots, for they shall make a homo barf into a hefty bag"
Reply

whupassmaster was starred whupassmaster was unstarred

The Cajun Boy
06/24/09

@whupassmaster: Well, they may have reported it, but it just crossed my radar this evening when the local ABC affiliate reported on it and then started spreading around the net and popping up in my RSS feed. Unfortunately, it's impossible to catch EVERYTHING as it happens, unless that is, good people like yourself tip us off to things that don't appear on our immediate radar.
Reply

The Cajun Boy was starred The Cajun Boy was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I'm sure there are plenty of people who enjoy hearing "come on you homosexual demon" in an entirely different context. And possibly posting it on YouTube.

Can someone please remind an old lady how to italicize in the comments so I can quit with the quotation marks?
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

mmstk101
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: Hah!

To italicize, you use this bracket "", but with no quotation marks.
Reply

mmstk101 was starred mmstk101 was unstarred

Smitros
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz:

I believe the Homosexual Demon is the mascot of Bard College and/or Emerson.
Reply

Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred

phlox✔
06/24/09

Oh, Gladys, all the cool kids can italicize and use bold Hope this link helps.
Reply

phlox✔ was starred phlox✔ was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@Smitros: But doesn't mascot imply that there are real sports not just ultimate frisbee and interpretive dance?
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@phlox✔:
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@phlox✔:
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: @mmstk101:

@phlox✔: Kids, it's useless. I tried the brackets and got a blank comment box. I'm hopeless. Thanks for trying. If I'm supposed to put these

at either end of what I want to italicize it's not working.
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

phlox✔
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: Girl, you gotta put an i (italics) or b (bold) in the brackets! Follow the instructions in my link to the letter! xox

This is where the preview function was very helpful.
Reply

phlox✔ was starred phlox✔ was unstarred

Proofer3
06/25/09

@phlox✔: [i] just practicing [/i]
Reply

Proofer3 was starred Proofer3 was unstarred

Proofer3
06/25/09

@Proofer3:'i'again '/i'
Reply

Proofer3 was starred Proofer3 was unstarred

Proofer3
06/25/09

@Proofer3: {i} screw this {/i}
Reply

Proofer3 was starred Proofer3 was unstarred

SaraRueful
06/25/09

@Proofer3:Almost there -- use the greater than/less than symbols (above comma and period) around the i, though.
Reply

SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/25/09

@phlox✔: Ok, is this working now???? You are a patient person, Phlox.
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

gladys_kravitz
06/25/09

@gladys_kravitz: Holy shit, it worked! Old Gladys is practically a millennial! Thank you!
Reply

gladys_kravitz was starred gladys_kravitz was unstarred

TheMac
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
"And the beast said...

Haaaaaay!"
Reply

TheMac was starred TheMac was unstarred

atlasfugged
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
After the ninth exorcism, you get the tenth one for free and it'll be performed by none other than exorcist extraordinaire, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal.
Reply

atlasfugged was starred atlasfugged was unstarred

The Cajun Boy
06/24/09

@atlasfugged: He's our boy!
Reply

The Cajun Boy was starred The Cajun Boy was unstarred

Colonel Mustard
06/24/09

@atlasfugged: I'd rather they just exorcised Jindal from politics all together.
Reply

Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred

phlox✔
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I thought you wrote "exercise".
My inner (and outer!) gay demons aren't nearly as toned as they used to be.
Plus, since this is a de facto GayPride thread; we in the Denver area are lucky enough to have Debbie Gibson perform this Sunday. Jealous much?
Reply

phlox✔ was starred phlox✔ was unstarred

unclevanya
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
To add insult to injury, they are probably the only business in Bridgeport turning a profit. And they don't even have to pay taxes.

What a poor, dead little city.
Reply

unclevanya was starred unclevanya was unstarred

SaraRueful
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Has anyone else noticed that the librul coastal elites sometimes make sweeping generalizations about people in real Amurrica, and the real Amurricans get all pissed off about being called ignorant racists, or about clinging to guns and bibles, and then they continue to do exactly what they were accused of???
Reply

SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred

alorsenfants
06/04/09

@SaraRueful:

Duly noted.

Also want to say: fine fine (well, not really), but just remember Kentucky is a Union state at the end of the day.

So pat yourselves on the back all you want, up there in Park Slope (or whatever), yet don't forget you all (y'all) are in bed with these people.

Lucky you!

Regards from VA,
Reply

alorsenfants was starred alorsenfants was unstarred

SaraRueful
06/04/09

@alorsenfants: I'm originally from W.Va., which became a state solely to be in the Union. Yet it was red the last three elections and the racist, bible-thumping, hateful, ignorant shit I've heard from people there in the last couple years -- people in their 20s and 30s, supposedly the enlightened, openminded generation -- does not exactly have me raising my head high to be from there.

Sure, not everyone from a "fly-over" state is an idiot homophobic misogynistic gun-toting racist. But they are the ones who make the news, and they are the ones who get up in my face at reunions yelling at me for moving to France to get the fuck away from Bush, and they are the ones who go fucking crazy when anyone calls them out for what they are. ("How dare you say I cling to my Bible and my gun? I'm going to shoot you, cause God said it's OK!")
Reply

SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred

succulent
06/04/09

@SaraRueful:

Because we liberal elitists have college educations.

We actually know what we are talking about. (& our parents aren't cousins, so our brains a a bit more functional)
Reply

succulent was starred succulent was unstarred

SaraRueful
06/04/09

@succulent: Many of the idiots whom I've argued with in the last couple years went to college. Graduated, even.

And extra points off for your asshole "inbred" joke. Har har har. Very original.
Reply

SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred

procrastinator, esq.
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Not be all grammar nitpicky, but in lieu of or in light of?
Reply

xbxDaniel
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
You know, Appalachia isn't full of gun-toting idiots; it's actually home to coherent and thoughtful people that are very concerned about their home and are unfortunate victims (and I'm not talking emotionally, strip mining's a bitch and all). Y'know, kind of like how there are stupid people everywhere and it's a small group of people that make everyone else look really bad. It's like saying Cincy OH is a cesspit of crime and violence when it's really only a couple of streets and everyone is smart enough to stay away from there for the most part.

Hahaha, let me degrade some more large geographic groups with stereotypes while I rofl about on my lollerblades.
Reply

xbxDaniel was starred xbxDaniel was unstarred

Mediahohoho
06/04/09

@xbxDaniel: Stop Mountaintop Removal Mining!
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

xbxDaniel
06/04/09

@Mediahohoho: Are you being ironic?
Reply

xbxDaniel was starred xbxDaniel was unstarred

Mediahohoho
06/04/09

@xbxDaniel: Not at all. I had the honor of being asked to play a benefit for this cause last Sunday by a great group of Kentuckians from Louisville and Lexington this past Sunday. I think it's a great cause and, in addition to my lovely wife and her family, I really like people from Kentucky.
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

Claire Buoyant
06/03/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Not every branch of Christianity is pacifistic

OK, so this business of Jesus being the Prince of Peace...have I been lied to?
Reply

Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred

Mediahohoho
06/03/09

@Claire Buoyant: You'll find that in the New American Standard the Sermon on the Mount has been amended to read "Blessed are the peace makers ... and by that I mean Colt .45s and ICBMs."
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

DorothyBarker
06/04/09

@Claire Buoyant: It was a typo. They meant Prince of "piece".
Reply

DorothyBarker was starred DorothyBarker was unstarred

Awesome X
06/04/09

@Claire Buoyant: That means Jesus is like, you know, Prince. Like, he wants to sing to Peace in falsetto, screw it for a long sweaty evening and then ditch it naked in Lake Minnetonka.
Reply

Awesome X was starred Awesome X was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#jesusfreaks

Gawker

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut

Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service

Tiller Murder Suspect Steeped in Jesus-Freakery, Extremism

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment