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Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
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Steverino Begins
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
He's either going to grow up with an extreme fear of churches, or with an exorcism fetish, or both.
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BookishLookish
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I think my favorite homosexual spirits on Gawker are phloxy, bytememe, la cieca, oy veh and kid twist. And I believe if I could get them all five in one room, we could purge this Manifested Glory church of its wretchedness.
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smartster
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I've never understood how you can't "agree with a lifestyle."

Like:
Person possessed by gay demons: "I'm gay."

Whack job church: "I don't agree with your lifestyle."

PPBGD: "Yeah but I'm telling you the truth."

WJC: "I don't agree."

PPBGD: "No but really I mean it, I am gay."

WJC: "I don't agree."

I've never understood how sexuality can be considered a lifestyle either for that matter.
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BookishLookish
06/25/09

@smartster: They don't have the balls to show their vileness and say "I hate you," so they say "I don't agree."
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The Real JR
06/25/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
"Rip it from his throat! Come on, you homosexual demon! You homosexual spirit, we call you out right now! Loose your grip, Lucifer!"

"Come out of his belly...It's in the belly - push."

"Right now in the name of Jesus, I call the homosexuality, right now in the name of Jesus."

I'm totally hot right now.
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Mediahohoho
06/25/09

@The Real JR: If he got the geigh all the way back in his throat, then this young man has talents that are probably wasted in church (although it's even odds that's where they were first developed).
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iplaudius
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
<obligatory_snark>

You people just don’t understand black culture. It’s not about hating on homos. It’s about keeping the DL true.

</obligatory_snark>

<inflammatory_rant>

Of course, there is that nagging question of personal responsibility. Call homosexuality what you will—a sin, a trait, a psychopathology—but why must it be blamed on the devil, evil spirits, or demons? What’s the point of being forgiven for sins that aren’t actually your fault ("the devil made me do it")?

There is not one instance in the "Old Testament" where a person sinned and was punished as a consequence of demon possession. Why? Because demon possession is a bunch of pagan crap. It has no business in a monotheistic theology that takes as a fundamental premise the ability—and responsibility—of the human being to make decisions between right and wrong.

So which is it? Did the "gods" (i.e., demons) make you do it? Or is there only God and world he made, in which case you must take responsibility for your actions?

</inflammatory_rant>
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whupassmaster
06/24/09

@iplaudius: Of late, we've seen news stories about gay penguins in a german zoo, published scientific studies on occurrences of butt-sexing throughout the animal kingdom, etc. I want to see a religious nut scold nature for committing crimes against itself.
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iplaudius
06/24/09

@whupassmaster: Orthodox Jews and Roman Catholics (among other groups, surely) accept that homosexuality occurs naturally. In other words, they believe that God makes some people constitutionally homosexual. Of course, given the prohibition against homosexual acts, it is considered an unfortunate "trait," and it means the homosexual must remain chaste. How humane! (And unnatural!)
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whupassmaster
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
This story is stale, Gawker...Queerty wrote about this about two weeks ago. It's cute how you heteros rehash homo news and call it fresh. Sorta like how you move into homo neighborhoods and call yourselves hip.

Anywho, we must all remember one of Jesus' lesser known beatitudes: "Blessed be thy fat-assed bigots, for they shall make a homo barf into a hefty bag"
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The Cajun Boy
06/24/09

@whupassmaster: Well, they may have reported it, but it just crossed my radar this evening when the local ABC affiliate reported on it and then started spreading around the net and popping up in my RSS feed. Unfortunately, it's impossible to catch EVERYTHING as it happens, unless that is, good people like yourself tip us off to things that don't appear on our immediate radar.
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gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I'm sure there are plenty of people who enjoy hearing "come on you homosexual demon" in an entirely different context. And possibly posting it on YouTube.

Can someone please remind an old lady how to italicize in the comments so I can quit with the quotation marks?
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mmstk101
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: Hah!

To italicize, you use this bracket "", but with no quotation marks.
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Smitros
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz:

I believe the Homosexual Demon is the mascot of Bard College and/or Emerson.
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phlox✔
06/24/09

Oh, Gladys, all the cool kids can italicize and use bold Hope this link helps.
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gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@Smitros: But doesn't mascot imply that there are real sports not just ultimate frisbee and interpretive dance?
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gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@phlox✔:
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gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@phlox✔:
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gladys_kravitz
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: @mmstk101:

@phlox✔: Kids, it's useless. I tried the brackets and got a blank comment box. I'm hopeless. Thanks for trying. If I'm supposed to put these

at either end of what I want to italicize it's not working.
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phlox✔
06/24/09

@gladys_kravitz: Girl, you gotta put an i (italics) or b (bold) in the brackets! Follow the instructions in my link to the letter! xox

This is where the preview function was very helpful.
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Proofer3
06/25/09

@phlox✔: [i] just practicing [/i]
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Proofer3
06/25/09

@Proofer3:'i'again '/i'
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Proofer3
06/25/09

@Proofer3: {i} screw this {/i}
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SaraRueful
06/25/09

@Proofer3:Almost there -- use the greater than/less than symbols (above comma and period) around the i, though.
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gladys_kravitz
06/25/09

@phlox✔: Ok, is this working now???? You are a patient person, Phlox.
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gladys_kravitz
06/25/09

@gladys_kravitz: Holy shit, it worked! Old Gladys is practically a millennial! Thank you!
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TheMac
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
"And the beast said...

Haaaaaay!"
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atlasfugged
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
After the ninth exorcism, you get the tenth one for free and it'll be performed by none other than exorcist extraordinaire, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal.
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The Cajun Boy
06/24/09

@atlasfugged: He's our boy!
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Colonel Mustard
06/24/09

@atlasfugged: I'd rather they just exorcised Jindal from politics all together.
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phlox✔
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
I thought you wrote "exercise".
My inner (and outer!) gay demons aren't nearly as toned as they used to be.
Plus, since this is a de facto GayPride thread; we in the Denver area are lucky enough to have Debbie Gibson perform this Sunday. Jealous much?
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unclevanya
06/24/09

In reply to Exorcise Your Gay Demons in Connecticut
To add insult to injury, they are probably the only business in Bridgeport turning a profit. And they don't even have to pay taxes.

What a poor, dead little city.
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SaraRueful
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Has anyone else noticed that the librul coastal elites sometimes make sweeping generalizations about people in real Amurrica, and the real Amurricans get all pissed off about being called ignorant racists, or about clinging to guns and bibles, and then they continue to do exactly what they were accused of???
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alorsenfants
06/04/09

@SaraRueful:

Duly noted.

Also want to say: fine fine (well, not really), but just remember Kentucky is a Union state at the end of the day.

So pat yourselves on the back all you want, up there in Park Slope (or whatever), yet don't forget you all (y'all) are in bed with these people.

Lucky you!

Regards from VA,
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SaraRueful
06/04/09

@alorsenfants: I'm originally from W.Va., which became a state solely to be in the Union. Yet it was red the last three elections and the racist, bible-thumping, hateful, ignorant shit I've heard from people there in the last couple years -- people in their 20s and 30s, supposedly the enlightened, openminded generation -- does not exactly have me raising my head high to be from there.

Sure, not everyone from a "fly-over" state is an idiot homophobic misogynistic gun-toting racist. But they are the ones who make the news, and they are the ones who get up in my face at reunions yelling at me for moving to France to get the fuck away from Bush, and they are the ones who go fucking crazy when anyone calls them out for what they are. ("How dare you say I cling to my Bible and my gun? I'm going to shoot you, cause God said it's OK!")
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succulent
06/04/09

@SaraRueful:

Because we liberal elitists have college educations.

We actually know what we are talking about. (& our parents aren't cousins, so our brains a a bit more functional)
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SaraRueful
06/04/09

@succulent: Many of the idiots whom I've argued with in the last couple years went to college. Graduated, even.

And extra points off for your asshole "inbred" joke. Har har har. Very original.
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procrastinator, esq.
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Not be all grammar nitpicky, but in lieu of or in light of?
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xbxDaniel
06/04/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
You know, Appalachia isn't full of gun-toting idiots; it's actually home to coherent and thoughtful people that are very concerned about their home and are unfortunate victims (and I'm not talking emotionally, strip mining's a bitch and all). Y'know, kind of like how there are stupid people everywhere and it's a small group of people that make everyone else look really bad. It's like saying Cincy OH is a cesspit of crime and violence when it's really only a couple of streets and everyone is smart enough to stay away from there for the most part.

Hahaha, let me degrade some more large geographic groups with stereotypes while I rofl about on my lollerblades.
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Mediahohoho
06/04/09

@xbxDaniel: Stop Mountaintop Removal Mining!
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xbxDaniel
06/04/09

@Mediahohoho: Are you being ironic?
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Mediahohoho
06/04/09

@xbxDaniel: Not at all. I had the honor of being asked to play a benefit for this cause last Sunday by a great group of Kentuckians from Louisville and Lexington this past Sunday. I think it's a great cause and, in addition to my lovely wife and her family, I really like people from Kentucky.
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Claire Buoyant
06/03/09

In reply to Kentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
Not every branch of Christianity is pacifistic

OK, so this business of Jesus being the Prince of Peace...have I been lied to?
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Mediahohoho
06/03/09

@Claire Buoyant: You'll find that in the New American Standard the Sermon on the Mount has been amended to read "Blessed are the peace makers ... and by that I mean Colt .45s and ICBMs."
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DorothyBarker
06/04/09

@Claire Buoyant: It was a typo. They meant Prince of "piece".
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Awesome X
06/04/09

@Claire Buoyant: That means Jesus is like, you know, Prince. Like, he wants to sing to Peace in falsetto, screw it for a long sweaty evening and then ditch it naked in Lake Minnetonka.
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