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the chosen people
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the chosen people
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Hillary Blames The Jews
First Hillary wanted more debates. She felt that the America public needed to hear her and Barack Obama delineate their subtle differences as many times as possible. She even ran an attack ad on Obama (after the jump) for only wanting to have 18 debates. With the North Carolina and Pennsylvania primaries coming up, you'd think Hillary would maintain her commitment to public pontification. But you'd be wrong, because she might back out of the debate scheduled for April 19 in North Carolina—hosted by Katie Couric, which would be her first time hosting. Clinton's claim: it's the first day of Passover, and no arguing can be had during the festival of the Unleavened bread. And she's Jewish now, apparently. More »
video
Heeb Magazine Ad Will Make You Laugh Hysterically, Throw Up Everywhere
Ever indulged in a little autoeroticism to images of Sarah Silverman or Natalie Portman and then wished with all your heart and soul that you might be rid of your cursed goy-tell foreskin, just so they might consider, ever so fleetingly, nailing you? Can't say that I have, per se, but the latest promo ad at Jewish hipster bible Heeb Magazine will show you the way. NSFW, if you think your boss might be uncomfortable with a WASPY 16-year-old hacking into his Gentile genitalia. Though really, what finally puts him over the edge might be more disturbing.
that's not kosher
Vending Machine Industry Comes For The Jews, And Beyoncé
As far as we know, the Jews don't, generally, have an obesity problem—if anything it's too much in the other direction!—but there's a new industry that could change things. The Kosher Vending Industries company recently installed its first "Hot Nosh 24/6" vending machine at a hospital in New Jersey. For the first time, the Jews can get a hot knish on demand! Or mozzarella sticks, pizza, and onion rings! And soon, hot dogs! (What does G-d have to say about meat and milk being in the same vending machine?) Not that the food looks that appetizing! Oh, and also, if you see Beyoncé chowing down on a hot knish soon, there's a reason. More »
confessions
Dov Charney And Evil Jew High Priest Caiaphas: Seperated At Birth?
From the mailbag:
I had an epiphany last night that I realized only gawker could truly appreciate. I finally figured out why I find Dov Charney sort of inappropriately sexy: because I was watching the 1973 film of _Jesus Christ Superstar_ and realized that he bears a strong resemblance to evil Jewish high priest Caiaphas! And because, watching that movie as a small Catholic girl, I felt naughty feelings for the shirtless sweaty bearded evil Jewish high priests with weird hats and S&M-style chest-strap arrangements. Sexy evil Jews, both.
Wow, it feels good to confess that!
"One thing I'll say for him, Jesus is cool."
Katie
exodus
Getting The Jews Out Of The Gene Pool
New York Times columnist David Brooks is worried. Seems that people are cherry-picking sperm in order to give their kids genetic advantages over the progeny of traditional stick-peepee-into-hooha reproducers. What's the problem? The rise of the machines! More »
evil of banality
Chabon as Anti-Semite: Origins of the Accusation
Last weekend, Page Six reported that Michael Chabon's new alternate-reality book about Jews living in Alaska would probably spark a firestorm of criticism because of its anti-Semitic undertones. Their "information" was sourced to one Kyle Smith, who reviews movies and seems to occasionally write little articles for the Post. This week, we saw Mr. Smith's name pop up again in the weekend media—this time in the Wall Street Journal's Pursuits section, in which he reviews the new book by Fight-Club-author Chuck Palahniuk (subscription only). More »
jews
Is Michael Chabon's New Book Anti-Semitic?
The New York Post thinks so! In today's special Sunday edition of Page Six, we are told that his new novel, The Yiddish Policeman's Union, "is bound to set off a firestorm of controversy." Why? Because Chabon "depicts some of his Jewish characters as willing to do anything, including massacring other Jews, in the cause of Zionism." More »
media
Media Bubble: Well, That First Quarter Sucked
martha stewart
Martha Stewart Invites A Jew For Easter
It's so nice that Martha Kostyra Stewart let Rachel Dratch into her home—well, studio—for the Easter holiday. Especially since Rachel is a Jew and seems totally weirded out by the Polish Easter meal that Martha is preparing. It's like, you can almost hear her thinking, "Didn't your grandfather kill my grandfather in that forest outside of Krakow?" Or something like that! Anyway, we've put together some of the highlights from this morning's broadcast. Do enjoy, and Happy Easter. More »
ethicist
The Ethicist Gleefully Strikes Again
Remember when Randy Cohen, the Times Magazine's morally-minded advice columnist, revealed a lady's name when he wasn't supposed to? Well, we're not about to say he's done it again in his latest piece, but the ghost of last week's gaffe is unmistakably present this weekend as Cohen appears to take shocking pleasure in publicly exposing the unethical behavior of someone who has sought his counsel. This week's target is Paul Kramer, a reformed Jew from Montclair, N. J. who serves as the production director at Glamour (hate to say we told you so). After the jump, we examine Krame's crime in light of last week's controversy, and catch up with him on the phone while he's shopping at the supermarket.More »
stashwax
Comedy Website Invented Making Fun of Mel Gibson?
Stashwax has beef with Saturday Night Live (well, more than the rest of us do, anyway.) They've served the venerable comedy show with a cease and desist order, saying that Lorne Michaels et al ripped off the concept of their video in which antisemitic dialogue was overdubbed onto a recut Braveheart trailer; the SNL sketch employed a similar tactic, but with footage from Apocalypto. We watched both and, while similarities exist, they strike us as more of the "Mel Gibson and the word "sugartits" are inextricably linked now, and no one has the patent on associating Jews with bagels" variety, not the "actionable" variety. But we'll let you be the judge — it's what you're best at. Both clips are after the jump. More »
jews
Jews Cheap, Russians Drunks
We can empathize with anyone being made to sit through a shitstorm of racial comments in the workplace, but sometimes it's a little much, even for us. Maybe Russians are "bad drinkers," and most Hispanics will, in fact, steal your car, but professionals shouldn't have to listen to crap like this in the haughty environs of Bear Stearns."He said Mr. Greenberg was just a magician who gave out cheap gifts to all the employees at Christmastime, and said, 'What can you expect from him, he's Jewish?'" Gover charged in his complaint.We're even willing to overlook the parts about the Jews being "poor tippers" because that's about as offensive as pointing out that "the sun is shining." But an attack on Mayor Bloomberg? That's just goddamned uncalled for. More »
brooklyn
When He Asks You if You're Jewish, Keep Your Hands Out of Your Pockets
The idea is to serve, protect, and not round off the corners of your head or the edges of your beard. Payot intact, the newest member of the NYPD, a dyed-in-the-wool Hasid from Williamsburg named Joel Witriol, will be "on the job" starting New Year's Eve, keeping the city's transit system free of goyim-induced danger as you scurry off to shul. No word yet on whether he'll be riding the Hanukkah caravan in Union Square next holiday season, but given recent events, we're thrilled to see a touch more diversity on the force.He's been granted exemptions from police hairstyle rules so he won't have to break his religious vows. He also will be allowed off on the Sabbath and Jewish holy days.Shabbat Shalom, officer. More »
team party crash
Team Party Crash: Jewcy Launch Party @ Ars Nova
Last evening, as the days grew ever closer to Christmas, we decided to investigate whether Judith Regan's allegations of a Jewish media cabal were true, and so we headed to the launch-slash-holiday party for Jewcy.com. More than one person has informed us that Jewcy is the "Jewish Slate" (a moniker which we find almost redundant, but never mind), and the scene at the Ars Nova penthouse (more on that later) was appropriately intellectual Jew-y, with some low-cut-dress-wearing shiksas thrown in for good measure. We sent along Gawker Associate Editor Doree Shafrir, herself a member of the Jewish media cabal, and resident Gawker photographer Nikola Tamindzic , himself a celebrator of Orthodox Christmas, which isn't even in December, to see what was what. More »
alicia colon
Alicia Colon Loves Jews, Even The Impecunious Ones
In her latest Letter from Locoland, Sun columnist Alicia Colon takes a strong stand against religious bigotry:Christ is the reason for the season, and for time immemorial it was a joyous occasion celebrated by people of all faiths. The anti-Semites who blame the Jews for the war against Christmas are targeting the wrong individuals. Religious Jews have never objected to our celebration. After all, Irving Berlin wrote "White Christmas," and most of the great Christmas films of old were made by Hollywood studios headed by Jews.More »
media
Media Bubble: Putting the Jew in "Judith Regan"
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