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New York, 12:41 AM
Mon Dec 21
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of mostlymartian mostlymartian
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    The tabloids can make drama themselves and keep the story going if it's profitable. They can have stories about how Tiger's life is down the toilet without his wife and kids, how Elin is "showing Tiger a thing or two" by moving on with her life or dating a new guy, etc. Look at all the endless stories about Jennifer Aniston's connection with Brad and Angelina. Aniston is usually in a different country than the couple, she and Brad don't share a kid or something that would mean continued ties, and the divorce was years ago.
     Reply
    mostlymartian was starred mostlymartian was unstarred
    Image of OldTowneTavern OldTowneTavern
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    How bad are things for Tiger? Even men want Elin to walk away with a truckload of cash. That's bad.
     Reply
    OldTowneTavern was starred OldTowneTavern was unstarred
    Image of Bos'un's Mate Bos'un's Mate
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Walk away, Elin. Take your husband to the cleaners then give the cash to charity. Be the hero to your kids and to us and you will be rewarded with the respect, comforts, and privacy you deserve.
     Reply
    Edited by Bos'un's Mate at 12/16/09 5:26 PM Bos'un's Mate was starred Bos'un's Mate was unstarred
    Image of gravytoss gravytoss
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    no drama? are you on crack? it's like the story of the decade.
    Apparently this is how you would report the leveling of Pompeii:

    Stage One: a bunch of Romans just doing their daily routine, chillaxing when some Volcano hiccups.

    Stage Two: WTF!? There's molten ash falling everywhere! What is this crap?

    Stage Three: Um, omg, Hot lava is raining down on us and melting the entire world. Yawn.

    Stage Four: No drama, so some lava exploded and flowed down upon an entire civilization and preserved it for eons. End of story. Move on.

    Hello! You need a clue ;)
     Reply
    Mama Penguino promoted this comment gravytoss was starred gravytoss was unstarred
    Image of mimigoliath mimigoliath
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    I just keep thinking of the best simple joke ever from SNL: "Over the weekend, Tiger Woods ran into a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out."

    Or something like that. Thank you, Seth Meyers.
     Reply
    mimigoliath was starred mimigoliath was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Hamilton -- but wait! There's some significant shit going on that gives us a STAGE FIVE

    One of his fucking doctors was just busted trying to enter the US from Canada carrying Human Growth Hormone shit... so now there'll be a bunch of asterisk talk on all his great records and his amazing performance. (Have you seen how built that motherfucker is lately? Wha, he been hittin' the gym?)

    So not only is he a scumbag for cheating on his wife with nasty ugly whores, there's the potential for his whole golfing career to be thrown into question -- making him super-Überdouche of the decade.

    [www.google.com]

    This ain't goin nowhar anytime soon, trust me..
     Reply
    Edited by lobstr at 12/16/09 12:03 PM lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of AndIAmTellingYou AndIAmTellingYou
    12/16/09

    @lobstr: Unless Tiger's fixers can silence the murmuring, the rumors about HGH and other drug use (and how much Elin knows) will at least keep this story on the sports radar for awhile.
     Reply
    AndIAmTellingYou was starred AndIAmTellingYou was unstarred
    Image of AndIAmTellingYou AndIAmTellingYou
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Like I told a friend, Forget the skanks. Tiger's more worried about Elin's gag reflex now.
     Reply
    AndIAmTellingYou was starred AndIAmTellingYou was unstarred
    Image of FitnessMadeSimple FitnessMadeSimple
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    He should have just gone the route of Jeter and stayed single. He could have boned all the hot chicks he wanted, not cheated on his wife, kept a clean image (Jeter is proof that's possible), continued dominating, etc etc.

    You are so wise, Jeter.
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple was starred FitnessMadeSimple was unstarred
    Image of downwithdebbie downwithdebbie
    12/16/09

    @FitnessMadeSimple: One of the best stories ever about Jeter-I have a friend who slept with him and amongst other hilarities, she wakes up, he is gone, she is escorted out by security and given a gift bag full of Jeter memorabilia. I've seen it. Hilarious. And I still love him!
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple promoted this comment downwithdebbie was starred downwithdebbie was unstarred
    Image of FitnessMadeSimple FitnessMadeSimple
    12/16/09

    @downwithdebbie: Nice. I give girls bags of Jeter memorabilia for sleeping with me, too.
     Reply
    FitnessMadeSimple was starred FitnessMadeSimple was unstarred
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    12/17/09

    @downwithdebbie: That is some Tony Stark bullshit right there. Love it.
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of Island of Misfit Toys Island of Misfit Toys
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Don't forget that Tiger was just nominated for Deadspin's SHOTY (Sports Human of the Year), 2009. And he's in the lead...
     Reply
    Island of Misfit Toys was starred Island of Misfit Toys was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    her divorcing him is golf's only chance of getting him back.
    (p.s., as my mother always tells me--who would know because she is one--don't fuck with a swedish girl)
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    12/16/09

    @manchops: Truth. Swedish girls are righteous. She'll take her kids to her new house in Sweden and live better than the queen. He made this mess, now she's going to clean up.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Artur Van Asinine Artur Van Asinine
    12/16/09

    @BookishLatkeish: Where they will often enjoy swedish pancakes and lingonberries.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish promoted this comment Artur Van Asinine was starred Artur Van Asinine was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    12/16/09

    @Artur Van Asinine: Swedish fish!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of HenryLovesFonzie HenryLovesFonzie
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Doesn't Tiger usually wear his hat facing forward? Maybe that's the sign of the douche: when you start a-cheatin' you turn your hat backwards, Jon Gosselin style.
     Reply
    HenryLovesFonzie was starred HenryLovesFonzie was unstarred
    Image of Dave J. Dave J.
    12/16/09

    @HenryLovesFonzie: He should grow a thin mustache and be evil twin Tiger.
     Reply
    Dave J. was starred Dave J. was unstarred
    Image of HenryLovesFonzie HenryLovesFonzie
    12/16/09

    @Dave J.: "Le Tigre"
     Reply
    HenryLovesFonzie was starred HenryLovesFonzie was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    This ain't over. Comes the sex tape and That Episode with Zac Efron that they think no one knows about.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of Gabriel Snyder Gabriel Snyder
    12/16/09

    @Mike Jahn: A gay angle would definitely bring some needed life to the saga.
     Reply
    Gabriel Snyder was starred Gabriel Snyder was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/16/09

    @Mike Jahn: A couple of weeks ago he was as plausible as Abe Vigoda for a blind item answer. Now he's the answer for all of them.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of ParahSalin ParahSalin
    12/16/09

    @Gabriel Snyder: If the gay angle happens, this is going to hit a whole new tabloid high. It will be almost OJ-esque.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn promoted this comment ParahSalin was starred ParahSalin was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/16/09

    @ParahSalin: As they say, anyone who dresses that well and speaks that softly ...

    Maybe now that his beard is ridin' the reindeer home to Herringville after the holidays we'll hear something.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of ParahSalin ParahSalin
    12/16/09

    @Mike Jahn: Hmmm....I never noticed it before, but he always does look really clean and like his clothes have been freshly pressed. You'd never catch John Daly looking like that.
     Reply
    ParahSalin was starred ParahSalin was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/16/09

    @ParahSalin: Fond of long walks through green fields with a man.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of ParahSalin ParahSalin
    12/16/09

    @Mike Jahn: Any word on whether he likes margaritas and getting caught in the rain? I think a "yes" would clench it.
     Reply
    ParahSalin was starred ParahSalin was unstarred
    Image of Kobayashi Maru Kobayashi Maru
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Perhaps after the massive public humiliation he's just experienced, Tiger will get all Zen about things. He might hunker down and really make an effort to further hone his talent for golf. In doing so, he might become an even more dominating presence in the sport, reaching new heights of success never thought possible. And maybe he'll come out gaining some lasting wisdom from his experience; perhaps he'll even redeem himself with his family, friends and peers.

    Or he might just keep boning skanks. You never know.
     Reply
    Kobayashi Maru was starred Kobayashi Maru was unstarred
    Image of m4ximusprim3 m4ximusprim3
    12/16/09

    @Kobayashi Maru: Why can't he find zen golf status while boning skanks?

    The world isn't fair.
     Reply
    m4ximusprim3 was starred m4ximusprim3 was unstarred
    Image of son of spam son of spam
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    This doesn't surprise me. No doubt Elin misses her privacy, misses her family, misses her country, misses her meatballs.
     Reply
    son of spam was starred son of spam was unstarred
    Image of stew stew
    12/16/09

    @son of spam: Those really are some good meatballs.
     Reply
    manchops promoted this comment stew was starred stew was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    12/16/09

    @son of spam: She can't just go to IKEA? That's were I'd go...
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/16/09

    @stew: best meatballs ever. I recommend buying them in bulk at IKEA
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    12/16/09

    @Spirit Fingers: mmm, lingonberries...
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of Dave J. Dave J.
    12/16/09

    @manchops: Meatballs with lingonberry sauce, a few pieces from the Skøørgåårdvark collection, and $100 million in the divorce settlement.
     Reply
    Dave J. was starred Dave J. was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    12/16/09

    @lobstr: I own the IKEA brand lingonberry preserves. Makes a hellauva sauce for most any meat product...except maybe Spam. Spam may not be meat. What is Spam anyway? So, yeah, lingonberries = good.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    12/16/09

    @Spirit Fingers: here here -- and then there's the lingonberry juice they have in the sodee fountain.

    my favoritestest Ikea restaurant fare is this little chocolate pie wedge that's remnant of Little Debbie Star Crunches, and it's like $2. Umpfh. I believe it's called Svalbärschokolätæn .. (or is that what they call the blue plastic 3 foot whisk?)
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    12/16/09

    In reply to The Diminishing Returns of the Tiger Woods Story
    Well, that depends on whether or not there's anything to the steroid investigation, right? Can you imagine what happens if the divorce proceedings unearth evidence of his drug use?
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
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