If you're a Republican running for Congress in Arizona, you've really got to go that extra mile to prove your cred, or at least a couple hundred feet tailing a school bus filled with migrant children as you lament the invasion of America. Just be sure they're not really summer campers from the local Y.

The dog who mauled a 4-year-old boy's face in February will not be destroyed, but will rather serve an unusual sentence for his crime, a Phoenix judge has ruled.

Steven Seagal, martial-arts movie star and savior of Grecian Formula's investor dividend, loves animals, the Dalai Lama and rounding up dirty eye-legals with Arizona's orneriest cop. Which means maybe Seagal was born to audition for this new role: Republican successor to Gov. Jan Brewer.

Tuesday night self-proclaimed "America's Toughest Sheriff" and Department of Justice-proclaimed civil rights violator Joe Arpaio was re-elected in Arizona as Maricopa County's sheriff. Arpaio has become a highly controversial figure, primarily for his policing, which was the subject of a DOJ investigation last year.

Good news, birthers — Joe Arpaio is sure President Obama's birth certificate is fradulent.

Arizona's Secretary of State Ken Bennett is the latest politician to call President Obama's birth certificate into question. Following Sheriff Joe Arpaio's investigation into the document, Bennett has now also identified the birth certificate as a forgery. He is demanding authentication from the state of Hawaii.

Arizona couple Shane and Sarah Walker were arrested for trying to fuck a dog. Their first mistake, it seems, was all in the Craigslist ad they posted: "Wife looking for K9." Sure it's simple and it's concise, but posted in the personal ads, it doesn't leave a whole lot of mystery. Mystery, say, in case an undercover…

Maricopa County, Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio has earned his status as "America's Worst Sheriff" mostly for being proactive in his awfulness and insanity. But he also deserves his title for the many things he does not do—such as "his job."

The other storylines are spent: Newt Gingrich surging, Herman Cain maybe dropping out, Mitt Romney hanging in there, still, while being hated by his political party. But about our man Rick Perry? Sure, he's a terrible candidate who screws himself over each time he does anything in public. And his campaign's funding…

As Governor of Texas, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry enacted a policy of providing in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants, thereby not completely alienating the country's fastest-growing populations. For this, he was roundly punished by the Republican electorate. But he has a secret…

There's a rumor going around Arizona about a black fellow claiming to be president, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is going to get to the bottom of it—even if it gets him tons of press kills him.

Arizona, which we are still not convinced isn't a hoax, is the home of not one but two of our nation's finest lawmen: Squat fascist Sheriff Joe Arpaio and sex slaver Steven Seagal, who is starring in a reality TV show where he... is a policeman, sort of. Well! Now they are both getting sued for killing a puppy.

The Tea Party's very own Sheriff Joe Arpaio — famous for his pink panty fetish and for leading a department full of human traffickers — on Wednesday night met with "more than 325 people" (!) who fear that Barack Obama will try to run on 2012 ballots in Arizona's Maricopa County using a fake birth certificate. Oh yes.

If your media-given surname is "burglar" or "bandit," and you've been spending your days actually engaged in the practices of burglary or banditry, then you're probably pretty depressed right now! Unless you're dead.

The Boss Hogg of Arizona law enforcement, Maricopa County's very own Sheriff Joe Arpaio, has a problem in his house: A deputy and two officers from Arpaio's creepy jail were arrested on charges that they smuggled heroin and illegal immigrants into Arizona, and then on to California. In a great twist, one of them is…

Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio likes to treat the accused lawbreakers under his care like little Army men that he can march around, dress up, and melt with a magnifying glass. Now he's started a "Mug Shot of the Day" contest on his web site to help people mock them.