You're never going to believe what he's about to do. Also today: a TBS show gets canceled, an ABC show gets ordered, a SATC alum movie gets a distribution deal, and a sitcom star has an unfortunate accident.

Mia Farrow turns 65 today. Joe Pesci is turning 67. Model Amber Valletta is 37. Actress Mena Suvari is 31. Alice Walker, the author of The Color Purple, is turning 66. Nobel Prize-winning author J.M. Coetzee is 70. Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz is turning 67. Columbia physicist and author Brian Greene…

You've seen the slideshows of celebrities on the Oscar red carpet. Here's how various media moguls dressed up for the big occasion. Lots of really boring black tuxedos after the jump.

Mia Farrow turns 64 today. Mena Suvari is turning 30. Amber Valletta is 35. Author Alice Walker is 65. Nobel Prize-winning author J.M. Coetzee is turning 69. Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph E. Stiglitz is turning 66. Physicist/author Brian Greene is 46. Real estate exec Frederick Peters is 57. Virginia Senator…