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john fitzgerald page
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John Fitzgerald Page Joins Dr. Phil For 'Sad Perv Day'
So. Remember this? Online Dater John Fitzgerald, the worst person in the world, was going to be on Dr. Phil, the worst show in the world.Why? We are not really sure. It aired today! Dr. Phil copied his drivers' license—even his drivers' license is creepy—and discovered the horrible truth: John Fitzgerald Page is almost 41. Then they sent him to a bar, where he terrorized women and wore suspenders. "He needs his own table, really, for his head," said one lady. IT GOT WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE.
Face Time!
One must be "upscale" to be an extra on Gossip Girl, at least according to a recent Craigslist casting call. Also: ladies, please wear "cocktail dresses in black or gem tones" for this fancy "elite rehersal [sic] dinner party." Upscale! Just like John Fitzgerald Page. Who is a professional extra! Oh please oh please oh please let him show up on an episode of Gossip Girl, then the universe could finally wink out of existence and we could all live for happy, restful eternities in the ethereal void.
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World Needs Your Vote For Sad Competition
John Fitzgerald Page built his reputation as a poxy online dater in part by bragging about his 8.9 score on the website "Hot or Not" to a girl he was telling off. Won't you please help Page continue to invent douchey new brags by voting five starts for him in Esquire's "Best Dressed Real Man 2008" competition? He's only up to one star and eight votes; his legions of admirers have not yet shown up. James describes himself as "Gordon Gekko + James Bond + Italian designers," but you can judge for yourself: More »
the worst person in the world
Worst Person In the World To Be On Worst Show In the World
Nightmare online dater John Fitzgerald Page will appear on an upcoming episode of nightmare tv therapist Dr. Phil's show, in a segment dedicated to "men with out-of-control egos." Yeesh. Click to enlarge the woefully misaddressed email.
worst person in the world
John Fitzgerald Page Tells Off Internet Pussies One By One
The Worst Person in the World, Atlanta online dater John Fitzgerald Page, is taking a two-pronged approach to preserving his terrible reputation: First, give asshole quotes to the press; then, get into long e-mail flame wars with anonymous online detractors. On the first count, JFP gave an interview to Penn's 34th St. Magazine explaining the origin of his downfall— some fat chick. "If she were hot, she'd be in Playboy; she'd be on the cover of Vogue; she'd be all over the news...I'm like, you want to fight me because I blew off a fat chick on Match.com?" Ridiculous! And what about those e-mails? Below, the entirely too long, and kind of sad, angry correspondence over the past two days between JFP and some random guy. More »
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World Fails To Redeem Himself On National Television
John Fitzgerald Page, the Atlanta-bred Worst Person in the World, blew a golden opportunity for self-effacing humor that an inexplicably sympathetic CNN correspondent laid in his lap in a one-on-one interview. Sipping on an iced beverage in his finest suspenders, JFP boldly rejected the softball questions that CNN's Eric Lanford set on a tee in front of him, instead opting to tell all you heartless Gawker-reading bastards exactly how it is: "I'm not arrogant, I'm accomplished. You walk into a bar and say, 'I just bought a Ford truck.' I go in and say 'Look at my Beemer convertible.'" Yes you do, JFP. Yes you do. That's why this video will only add to your legend. More »
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World "Will Say And Do Whatever" He Wants
Unrepentant douchebag John Fitzgerald Page, the worst person in the world, received unsolicited advice from an actual admirer, over the Internet. So of course he went and ruined everything by getting into a big douchey fight with the fan, who promptly emailed the whole exchange to us. In it, Page said "I didn't get this far by listening to random advice from strangers," and by "this far" he means "international infamy for bragging about squat-press capabilities and lunch with the Secretary of Defense and for asking questions like 'I went to an Ivy League school... where did you go to school?'" Email thread after the jump. More »
What Iraqi Suicide Car Bomber?
Nighmare online douchey dater John Fitzgerald Page was just on CNN Headline News. You know, the service that brings you a digest version of the most important news stories on the planet.
Nighmare online douchey dater John Fitzgerald Page was just on CNN Headline News. You know, the service that brings you a digest version of the most important news stories on the planet.
john fitzgerald page
