Gawker
-
field guide
So You Want to Be a Fameball?
Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:
More » 
15,703
60
Comment by TillieHarper: We the Blacks...Niggmata (I Have Holes in My Soul): Can I be honest here? I still don't know who Julia Allison is? What she does? Where she came from? I've just... 6 Responses | Other threads
-
superstars
John Fitzgerald Page Can Put You in the Movies!
Stop everything: John Fitzgerald Page—the Worst Person in the World—is doing stuff! Would you like to be in a movie with Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek? John Fitzgerald Page can make it happen: More » -
open caption
Oh, How The Micromighty Have…
[John Fitzgerald Page is an extra on the third installment of 'Van Wilder 3'. Photo via JFP himself.] -
clips
John Fitzgerald Page Joins Dr. Phil For 'Sad Perv Day'
So. Remember this? Online Dater John Fitzgerald, the worst person in the world, was going to be on Dr. Phil, the worst show in the world.Why? We are not really sure. It aired today! Dr. Phil copied his drivers' license—even his drivers' license is creepy—and discovered the horrible truth: John Fitzgerald Page is almost 41. Then they sent him to a bar, where he terrorized women and wore suspenders. "He needs his own table, really, for his head," said one lady. IT GOT WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE. -
gossip girl
Face Time!
One must be "upscale" to be an extra on Gossip Girl, at least according to a recent Craigslist casting call. Also: ladies, please wear "cocktail dresses in black or gem tones" for this fancy "elite rehersal [sic] dinner party." Upscale! Just like John Fitzgerald Page. Who is a professional extra! Oh please oh please oh please let him show up on an episode of Gossip Girl, then the universe could finally wink out of existence and we could all live for happy, restful eternities in the ethereal void.
2,005
Comment by ArdelisHalomitosis: I submitted to be an extra. Terrible experiences. http://kimberlycouzens.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/central-casting-ny-doesn%E2%80%99t-want-me-to-be-an-extra-on-gossip-girl.../ more » | Other threads
-
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World Needs Your Vote For Sad Competition
John Fitzgerald Page built his reputation as a poxy online dater in part by bragging about his 8.9 score on the website "Hot or Not" to a girl he was telling off. Won't you please help Page continue to invent douchey new brags by voting five starts for him in Esquire's "Best Dressed Real Man 2008" competition? He's only up to one star and eight votes; his legions of admirers have not yet shown up. James describes himself as "Gordon Gekko + James Bond + Italian designers," but you can judge for yourself: More »
4,352
By Ryan TateComment by skierblues: WOW - I dated this 8.9 for a bit - it was a pity date - now I'm married to... more » | Other threads
-
the worst person in the world
Worst Person In the World To Be On Worst Show In the World
Nightmare online dater John Fitzgerald Page will appear on an upcoming episode of nightmare tv therapist Dr. Phil's show, in a segment dedicated to "men with out-of-control egos." Yeesh. Click to enlarge the woefully misaddressed email.
13,828
By PareeneComment by harveywallbangers: I bet they blow each other after the show. and hey 24-7! I bet I could fill a double decker bus with... more » | Other threads
-
worst person in the world
John Fitzgerald Page Tells Off Internet Pussies One By One
The Worst Person in the World, Atlanta online dater John Fitzgerald Page, is taking a two-pronged approach to preserving his terrible reputation: First, give asshole quotes to the press; then, get into long e-mail flame wars with anonymous online detractors. On the first count, JFP gave an interview to Penn's 34th St. Magazine explaining the origin of his downfall— some fat chick. "If she were hot, she'd be in Playboy; she'd be on the cover of Vogue; she'd be all over the news...I'm like, you want to fight me because I blew off a fat chick on Match.com?" Ridiculous! And what about those e-mails? Below, the entirely too long, and kind of sad, angry correspondence over the past two days between JFP and some random guy.
More » -
-
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World Fails To Redeem Himself On National Television
John Fitzgerald Page, the Atlanta-bred Worst Person in the World, blew a golden opportunity for self-effacing humor that an inexplicably sympathetic CNN correspondent laid in his lap in a one-on-one interview. Sipping on an iced beverage in his finest suspenders, JFP boldly rejected the softball questions that CNN's Eric Lanford set on a tee in front of him, instead opting to tell all you heartless Gawker-reading bastards exactly how it is: "I'm not arrogant, I'm accomplished. You walk into a bar and say, 'I just bought a Ford truck.' I go in and say 'Look at my Beemer convertible.'" Yes you do, JFP. Yes you do. That's why this video will only add to your legend.
6,071
Comment by famousauthor: I'm always suspicious of people who refer to themselves as "Myself." more » | Other threads
-
john fitzgerald page
Worst Person In The World "Will Say And Do Whatever" He Wants
Unrepentant douchebag John Fitzgerald Page, the worst person in the world, received unsolicited advice from an actual admirer, over the Internet. So of course he went and ruined everything by getting into a big douchey fight with the fan, who promptly emailed the whole exchange to us. In it, Page said "I didn't get this far by listening to random advice from strangers," and by "this far" he means "international infamy for bragging about squat-press capabilities and lunch with the Secretary of Defense and for asking questions like 'I went to an Ivy League school... where did you go to school?'" Email thread after the jump. More »
7,372
By Ryan TateComment by PresidentoftheJFPfanclub: After JFP saw this article, he told me he would get the NAACP to sue me. The National Association for... more » | Other threads
-
end of days
What Iraqi Suicide Car Bomber?
Nighmare online douchey dater John Fitzgerald Page was just on CNN Headline News. You know, the service that brings you a digest version of the most important news stories on the planet.
2,668
By MaggieComment by Curse_of_NursePornstein: @magic8ball: 'Cause they're both delusional! more » | Other threads
-
john fitzgerald page
World's Worst Date with World's Worst Person
Our old friend John Fitzgerald Page, online braggart and the world's worst person, has been selling merchandise for some time now, but now it's gotten even better! For the low cost of $500 a day ($250 for a 1/2 day. Whew! Hard math!) you can enjoy the company of this upscale Ivy League grad. Perhaps after you bring him to your office party, he'll take you for a nightcap in his favorite Atlanta nightlife district. Or maybe even at his high rise apartment. This is probably a joke, right? If so, good on him. Though, that's what we said about him the first time we encountered him, and as he proved over and over again, he was deadly serious. Someone should tell him that the Debra Messing movie he's citing, The Wedding Date, was a terrible bomb and may be the World's Worst Movie (some of us may have seen it. More than once.) We dare someone to go on a dream date with him. Come on. It's a bargain. (Click thumb for larger screen shot!)
7,631
Comment by skierblues: and to think I got off cheep - he just stole from me! more » | Other threads
-
8,217
By Emily GouldComment by doodler222: @DrFeelgood: Uh ...I am a high functioning autistic... Please do not insult us in this fashion.... ;) I would like to add... this... more » | Other threads
-
thanksgiving
A Gawker Thanksgiving
Every year Gawker commenter and ad sales guy (and the best argument for abolishing the divide between editorial and advertising) LolCait has a super special Thanksgiving in his mind. There all of his and your favorite characters meet and dreams come true. This year Laurel Touby hosts.
More »
7,960
By Joshua SteinComment by PimpMyCouch: I am far too late to this party, but this is top-notch. LOLCait, any way you could also do this... more » | Other threads
-
john fitzgerald page
"If This Could Happen To An Ivy League Grad, Someone With An IQ Like Mine, This Could Happen To Anybody."
This morning, Atlanta internet-dater John Fitzgerald Page added another item to his impressive resume: he has now appeared on CBS's Early Show! Julie Chen looked on in horror from her side of the split-screen as John revealed that he still doesn't understand why that girl turned him down on Match.com. "Basically, if you hit on somebody on Match.com and you find them attractive, and then you find out that they have a good job with a good company and they live in a good part of town in a nice area and they take care of themselves ... that's not the time you'd reject them, I'd think," he retarditerates. "Every blog in the country" has covered him, he complained. Also, "people I've gotten roles have taken me off their 'friends' page." Ouch! But: "I know who I am and I'm just going to keep living my life and enjoying myself."
67,114
By Emily GouldComment by tboneatl: True story..... Was at a semi private bar in Atlanta last night called the Warren and while getting drinks at the... more » | Other threads
-
the worst person in the world
John Fitzgerald Page: "They're Threatening My Life Because I Blew Off A Fat Chick On The Internet"
Nightmare online dater John Fitzgerald Page isn't going to sink back down to the bottom of the boggy internet-lake quite yet. He's still trying to puzzle out why people had such a strong negative response to his braggy, hatefilled email to a girl who had the audacity to turn him down on Match.com. "The problem was [her profile] has six pictures of her head," he reiterated recently in an interview with Atlanta alt-weekly Creative Loafing. "If you Internet date, you realize that means she's trying to hide something... I didn't harass her. I just sent her an e-mail saying basically 'I have these statistics and you can't hang.' They're threatening my life because I blew off a fat chick on the Internet." The bright light of semi-selfawareness might be beginning to penetrate the murk, however: "During our conversations, he asked repeatedly, 'Do I seem like the worst person in the world?'"
20,491
By Emily GouldComment by skierblues: Ive been in his car - its a run down 2,000kbemer. It might have been 50K when the original... more » | Other threads
-
douchebags
World's Worst Person John Fitzgerald Page Is Milking This For All It's Worth
Sooo, that Atlantan nightmare Internet dater John Fitzgerald Page is trying to make minute 14:59 last by offering 'fans' the opportunity to buy merchandise commemorating the humiliating spectacle he's made of himself. T-shirt slogans include "Mensa Member with Muscles" and "All This And I'm Ivy League Educated Too." But evidence continues to point us to the conclusion that John has perhaps fudged some of his douchey credentials! Like, for example, that having-attended-Wharton thing. Turns out: no. Will we ever trust a man again?
20,591
By Emily GouldComment by skierblues: John - please return the items you stole. BTW - the sex was awful. Also, ladies, he was... more » | Other threads
-
douchebags
If You're Not Paying, World's Worst Person John Fitzgerald Page Isn't Talking
The Atlanta Journal -Constitution did a story about their native son John Fitzgerald Page, nightmare internet dater and official world's worst person. The comments are the best part! They're are sort of a funhouse mirror of the comments here. More »
21,042
By Emily GouldComment by skierblues: what kind of "man" plucks his eye brows so that he looks like a chick? more » | Other threads
-
wow
A Note From "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD"
Nightmare online dater and "no fat chicks" policy-haver John Fitzgerald Page has updated his website. "Stalin. Hitler. Bin Laden. John Fitzgerald Page. Somehow, I am ranked at #1. My crime - murder? treason? pedophilia? rape? No, worse. A woman winked at me on the internet. I sent her an introdutory email. She tried to rescind her initial wink by saying we weren't a "personality" match . She ascertained that from my first email without ever speaking to me. Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself." IT GOES ON: "The public hanging of me is making many of you happy. The catch-22 for you is that no publicity is bad publicity. I am getting offers for things - movies, books, TV shows. I have turned down every request." DO READ IT.
More »
29,660
By Emily GouldComment by littlemissbliss: I'm a week late with this, but I finally got around to registering, for my comment. Sir Douche A Lot asked... more » | Other threads
-
developing
From the mailbag, regarding Ivy League alum and douchey online dater John Fitzgerald Page: "I talked to John Page for 3 hours last night. So I called him.....a couple of times (and yes that is all it took). I don't know where to go with the information I have now after talking to him for seriously 3 HOURS. I will send you a copy of my phone bill a) if ATT has put it up yet b) you tell me where to send it, to prove what I am saying.... What do I do with 3 hours of information from the most hated/loved/entertaining/douchey guy on the internet today?"
6,714
By Emily GouldComment by Henifer Hropes: what happened to the other two articles about JFP? One lost 500+ comments and the other one... you can't see... more » | Other threads
-
douchebags
Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World
Hey, remember that wannabe i-banker douchebag Alexsey Vayner and his insanely braggy resume video? Do you recall Eric Schaeffer, the failed writer/director who hates women and blogs about how he can't believe he's still single? Well, what if they met and married and through some breakthrough in medical science had a baby? He would probably grow up to be something along the lines of Atlanta's John Fitzgerald Page, who in addition to working in corporate finance, being a part-time trainer, and being available for work as a "costumed character" or a "stand-in," also somehow finds the time in his day to be a colossal, mindbogglingly douchey douchebag to girls he meets on Match.com!
More »
338,851
By Emily GouldComment by LolCait: ZOMG look: [johnfitzgeraldpage.com] Does he play rich guy at parties, too??? 1 Responses | Other threads
- 1
1-21 of 21 for "john fitzgerald page"
