Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

Here's the New York Post's gossip column item about Cooper going to the "best hotel in the world" in India:

Anderson Cooper has been consoling himself over falling ratings by living it up in Jaipur, India, at one of the world's most opulent hotels. The CNN star was spotted Tuesday with his muscular friend, Benjamin Maisani, an owner of East Village bar Eastern Bloc, at the Rambagh Palace, named the best hotel in the world by Conde Nast Traveler. Cooper's $3,200-a-night room features a four-poster mahogany bed and views of the gardens of the former Maharaja palace. Our source said, "Anderson's room has a large round bathtub. On the first night it was filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals." CNN declined to comment.

Saying Cooper is gay is no longer a scoop. It's not a scandal. Even the humor involved in all the clever winking and nodding is past its expiration date. With today's item Page Six may have exhausted all the ways to say "He's GAY GAY GAY!": the room only has one bed, Maisani's "muscular," and perhaps most blatantly, he owns Eastern Bloc. Every 'mo in New York knows Eastern Bloc is a gritty, dirty gay bar ("a true man meat bar") that often has boy-on-boy porn playing on its TVs. (The stencil over the DJ booth offers "Free Moustache Rides" and one outside once read "One Gay at a Time, Sweet Jesus.") All the patrons know Maisani, because he's big, and know he's dating Cooper. Word on the street is that Madonna's recent appearance there had less to do with her getting back to her East Village gay roots and more to do with the fact that she was with Cooper, who wanted to play "whose boy toy is hotter" with Madge.

Cooper's see-through closet is such a joke that it doesn't make sense to call him in the closet anymore. If he won't say it, we will: Anderson Cooper is officially out. There's no difference between him and Neil Patrick Harris. They both play it straight at their day jobs and then openly go about town with their boyfriends and do TV interviews about how much they love Kathy Griffin and The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

It's not like Cooper's in a club all of his own, either. He is part of an increasingly large crowd of notables who won't come out but have given up trying to hide that they are gay. Queen Latifah denied that she was going to marry her girlfriend, a girlfriend who she tries to pass off as her "trainer." Kevin Spacey got busted lying about being mugged in a London cruising park. Ricky Martin has stopped even trying to fight the gay rumors. Jodie Foster has never said she's a lesbian out loud, but she basically came out when she thanked her partner in an acceptance speech.

These gay-not-gay celebrities are different from the Hugh Jackmans, John Travoltas, Tom Cruises, and Kenny Chesneys, who are all constantly plagued with gay rumors that they strenuously try to deny or deflect. If they're gay, they're doing it in secret. Cooper and his set of cohorts live openly gay lives — and that's a good thing — but they refuse to acknowledge what the public already knows.

In Anderson Cooper's specific case, we sort of understand why he won't open his mouth and let the rainbows fly. All the guy has ever wanted to do was be an old-fashioned newsman and unfortunately him coming out would make him a part of the story. Every time he tried to cover something having to do with gay civil rights (or Madonna or Fire Island) plenty of people would claim that his reporting was biased because of his sexual orientation. It's not fair: Katie Couric doesn't have to worry when she covers pay inequality for women, and neither does Harry Smith when discussing new medicine that will eradicate baldness.

Coming out would open Cooper up to irrational accusations from those waiting to pounce on the "liberal media" just as quickly as A.C. pounces on his muscle man in an Indian hotel room. That sucks, but it's the way it currently is. How does it get changed? Well, by having some major national news figures come out and show that they can still get blown over in a hurricane or report live from a war zone without breaking into a anti-Prop 8 rant.

That's right, Anderson, it's going to take you to change it. Rachel Maddow has paved the way, but all the baby gays out there need you to man up and be our Jackie Robinson. The first step is the easiest, you just have to say what everyone already knows.

Top pic of Cooper and Maisani snapped in June by Pacific Coast News; pic of Eastern Bloc via Alice Bartlett's Flickr

Do you think Paul Haggis' public defection opened the floodgates? Put your money where your mouth is. Lines are only open on 11 seemingly randomly chosen Scientology celebs. If any of these people do publicly renounce Scientology, some tabloid reporters are going to make a lot of money on it if they find out first. Here's our handicapping, such as it is:

John Travolta, 9:4
Rumors are swirling in the wake of his admission, contrary to Scientology dogma, that autism exists, and that his deceased son Jett suffered from it. But Travolta doubled down on the cult in July, announcing through his rep that he would be a Scintologist "now and forever," which basically means he knows that if he leaves his former co-religionists will leak all the gay-sounding stuff he said during his auditing sessions.

Katie Holmes, 3:1
We sort of doubt it, since she probably wants to see her daughter again.

Lisa Marie Presley, 4:1
Perhaps. We got a tip not long ago that Presley had blown the church, but her rep denied it. Again, they have files on her—and all of their members—which makes this whole exercise slightly academic. Maybe it would be more fruitful to bet on which vicious rumors will soon begin circulating about Paul Haggis.

Jason Lee, 6:1
Scientology gave him his career, and it can take it away. So no.

Priscilla Presley, 8:1
She and Lisa Marie will probably stay or go together.

Chaka Khan, 10:1
Huh. Who knew?

Nancy Cartwright, 12:1
Long odds are deserved—the Simpsons actor gave $10 million to the church just two years ago.

Brandy, 14:1
There are internet rumors that she turned her back on the church after a 2006 car accident. Combine that with the long odds, and she might be the best bet.

Beck, 18:1
Beck grew up in the church, as did his wife. So he's more likely to view the current trouble rocking the cult as a crisis in his religion that needs to be addressed rather than proof that it is, indeed, a cult.

Kirstie Alley, 25:1
She reacted to Paul Haggis' defection on Twitter in true Scientology style, by denying everything he said. So she's in for the long haul.

Tom Cruise, 50:1
Stranger things have happened.

CORRECTION: We initially described Paddy Power as a British bookmaker. It's actually an Irish company.

[Via New Humanist.]

Except that France, in its liberal, socialist, cheese-eating wisdom does not classify Scientology as a religion. It classifies it as a sect. In fact only an arcane recent change in the law prevented prosecutors banning it, and thus most of Hollywood, outright. Instead they had to be content with fining the Church's Celebrity Center and Bookshop in Paris $900,000. They slapped a one-year suspended jail sentence and a $45,000 fine on the Church's leader in France, Alain Rosenberg, for good measure.

One of the women had been approached to take a 'personality test' in the street and then pressured into buying a bunch of crap, including an electrometer to measure mental energy. The other was forced to undergo testing and undertake expensive courses by her Scientologist employer, then fired when she eventually refused. "Religious freedom is in danger in this country," responded Church spokesman Eric Roux, pictured above, in an interview with Agence France Presse after the verdict.

French lawmakers say they've now figured out the legal wranglings required to ban the church, and if they offend again they're in real danger of being made illegal. It's not been a good week to believe in Xenu.

The entire letter to—of all people—creepy Church spokescreature Tommy Davis is below, but here are the highlights: Haggis has been asking the church to resign their support of Proposition 8. He registered his distaste for the church's stances on homosexuality via phone calls and letters. Davis told Haggis that "heads would roll" over this about ten months ago. Davis apparently drew up a press release he showed to Haggis, which eventually got canned. Haggis views the church's actions as "cowardly," and thus, after thirty-five years of membership, is resigning.

Furthermore, Haggis saw Davis' interview on CNN, when Davis denied the existence of a "disconnection" policy in which the church orders members to cut non-members out of their lives, as they pose some kind of negative threat towards the work of the church in members' lives.

It's a policy that's been well documented in the press, but especially by the reporting done by the St. Petersburg Times, who've chronicled many members who were once forced to "disconnect" people from their lives. Then comes another bomb: Haggis' wife cut off contact with her parents when they defected from the church. And then another: Haggis cites the aforementioned reporting by the St. Petersburg Times, which including some of Scientology's most high-profile defectors in its history, as accurate and astonishing, considering the level of the defectors. "Say what you will about them now," writes Haggis, "[but] these were staunch defenders of the church, including Mike Rinder, the church's official spokesman for 20 years!" Scientology has claimed that their high-profile defectors hold personal grudges against them for demotions and other bureaucratic failings.

Haggis' final bomb, which is going to ring true to many, many Scientologists on every level, is about that same St. Petersburg Times report, in which the Church dredged up old documents and audits on their members to expose salacious, damning details about their personal lives to paint their defection as a cover for their personal indiscretions. Haggis found this, apparently, to be the first in a series of straws that broke a 35 year-old camel's back.

The bottom line is this: this is bad, bad news for the Church. Besides the fact that so many of the church's most high-profile members have long been subject to gossipy speculation of being gay—to name a few: Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Will Smith—the Church is now going to have to (A) take a stance on homosexuality, (B) come out against Haggis, one of the most revered, successful writer-directors of the last decade, or (C) stay quiet and look even sketchier than they already did after Tommy Davis blew up on national television earlier this weekend.

And it also doesn't help them that Church defector Marty Rathburn has apparently confirmed the letter's legitimacy as definitely coming from Haggis.

So: this ought to be interesting to watch play out, no?

Tommy,

As you know, for ten months now I have been writing to ask you to make a public statement denouncing the actions of the Church of Scientology of San Diego. Their public sponsorship of Proposition 8, a hate-filled legislation that succeeded in taking away the civil rights of gay and lesbian citizens of California – rights that were granted them by the Supreme Court of our state – shames us.

I called and wrote and implored you, as the official spokesman of the church, to condemn their actions. I told you I could not, in good conscience, be a member of an organization where gay-bashing was tolerated.

In that first conversation, back at the end of October of last year, you told me you were horrified, that you would get to the bottom of it and "heads would roll." You promised action. Ten months passed. No action was forthcoming. The best you offered was a weak and carefully worded press release, which praised the church's human rights record and took no responsibility. Even that, you decided not to publish.

The church's refusal to denounce the actions of these bigots, hypocrites and homophobes is cowardly. I can think of no other word. Silence is consent, Tommy. I refuse to consent.

I joined the Church of Scientology thirty-five years ago. During my twenties and early thirties I studied and received a great deal of counseling. While I have not been an active member for many years, I found much of what I learned to be very helpful, and I still apply it in my daily life. I have never pretended to be the best Scientologist, but I openly and vigorously defended the church whenever it was criticized, as I railed against the kind of intolerance that I believed was directed against it. I had my disagreements, but I dealt with them internally. I saw the organization – with all its warts, growing pains and problems – as an underdog. And I have always had a thing for underdogs.

But I reached a point several weeks ago where I no longer knew what to think. You had allowed our name to be allied with the worst elements of the Christian Right. In order to contain a potential "PR flap" you allowed our sponsorship of Proposition 8 to stand. Despite all the church's words about promoting freedom and human rights, its name is now in the public record alongside those who promote bigotry and intolerance, homophobia and fear.

The fact that the Mormon Church drew all the fire, that no one noticed, doesn't matter. I noticed. And I felt sick. I wondered how the church could, in good conscience, through the action of a few and then the inaction of its leadership, support a bill that strips a group of its civil rights.

This was my state of mind when I was online doing research and chanced upon an interview clip with you on CNN. The interview lasted maybe ten minutes – it was just you and the newscaster. And in it I saw you deny the church's policy of disconnection. You said straight-out there was no such policy, that it did not exist.

I was shocked. We all know this policy exists. I didn't have to search for verification – I didn't have to look any further than my own home.

You might recall that my wife was ordered to disconnect from her parents because of something absolutely trivial they supposedly did twenty-five years ago when they resigned from the church. This is a lovely retired couple, never said a negative word about Scientology to me or anyone else I know – hardly raving maniacs or enemies of the church. In fact it was they who introduced my wife to Scientology.

Although it caused her terrible personal pain, my wife broke off all contact with them. I refused to do so. I've never been good at following orders, especially when I find them morally reprehensible.

For a year and a half, despite her protestations, my wife did not speak to her parents and they had limited access to their grandchild. It was a terrible time.

That's not ancient history, Tommy. It was a year ago.

And you could laugh at the question as if it was a joke? You could publicly state that it doesn't exist?

To see you lie so easily, I am afraid I had to ask myself: what else are you lying about?

And that is when I read the recent articles in the St. Petersburg Times. They left me dumbstruck and horrified.

These were not the claims made by "outsiders" looking to dig up dirt against us. These accusations were made by top international executives who had devoted most of their lives to the church. Say what you will about them now, these were staunch defenders of the church, including Mike Rinder, the church's official spokesman for 20 years!

Tommy, if only a fraction of these accusations are true, we are talking about serious, indefensible human and civil rights violations. It is still hard for me to believe. But given how many former top-level executives have said these things are true, it is hard to believe it is all lies.

"...the same face that denied the policy of disconnection"

And when I pictured you assuring me that it is all lies, that this is nothing but an unfounded and vicious attack by a group of disgruntled employees, I am afraid that I saw the same face that looked in the camera and denied the policy of disconnection. I heard the same voice that professed outrage at our support of Proposition 8, who promised to correct it, and did nothing.

I carefully read all of your rebuttals, I watched every video where you presented the church's position, I listened to all your arguments – ever word. I wish I could tell you that they rang true. But they didn't.

I was left feeling outraged, and frankly, more than a little stupid.

And though it may seem small by comparison, I was truly disturbed to see you provide private details from confessionals to the press in an attempt to embarrass and discredit the executives who spoke out. A priest would go to jail before revealing secrets from the confessional, no matter what the cost to himself or his church. That's the kind of integrity I thought we had, but obviously the standard in this church is far lower – the public relations representative can reveal secrets to the press if the management feels justified. You even felt free to publish secrets from the confessional in Freedom Magazine – you just stopped short of labeling them as such, probably because you knew Scientologists would be horrified, knowing you so easily broke a sacred vow of trust with your parishioners.

How dare you use private information in order to label someone an "adulteress?" You took Amy Scobee's most intimate admissions about her sexual life and passed them onto the press and then smeared them all over the pages your newsletter! I do not know the woman, but no matter what she said or did, this is the woman who joined the Sea Org at 16! She ran the entire celebrity center network, and was a loyal senior executive of the church for what, 20 years? You want to rebut her accusations, do it, and do it in the strongest terms possible – but that kind of character assassination is unconscionable.

So, I am now painfully aware that you might see this an attack and just as easily use things I have confessed over the years to smear my name. Well, luckily I have never held myself up to be anyone's role model.

The great majority of Scientologists I know are good people who are genuinely interested in improving conditions on this planet and helping others. I have to believe that if they knew what I now know, they too would be horrified. But I know how easy it was for me to defend our organization and dismiss our critics, without ever truly looking at what was being said; I did it for thirty-five years. And so, after writing this letter, I am fully aware that some of my friends may choose to no longer associate with me, or in some cases work with me. I will always take their calls, as I always took yours. However, I have finally come to the conclusion that I can no longer be a part of this group. Frankly, I had to look no further than your refusal to denounce the church's anti-gay stance, and the indefensible actions, and inactions, of those who condone this behavior within the organization. I am only ashamed that I waited this many months to act. I hereby resign my membership in the Church of Scientology.

Sincerely,

Paul Haggis

Ps. I've attached our email correspondence. At some point it became evident that you did not value my concerns about the church's tacit support of an amendment that violated the civil rights of so many of our citizens. Perhaps if you had done a little more research on me, the church's senior management wouldn't have dismissed those concerns quite so cavalierly. While I am no great believer in resumes and awards, this is what you would have discovered:

* Founder, Artists For Peace and Justice,
- sponsoring schools, an orphanage and a children's hospital in the slums of Haiti
* Co-Founder, BrandAid Foundation and BrandAid Project
- marketing the work of artisans from the poorest countries in the world,
* Board Member, Office of The Americas
- supporting peace and justice initiatives around the world
* Board Member, Center For The Advancement of Non-Violence
* Member and active supporter, Amnesty International
* Member, President's Council, Defenders of Wildlife
* Member and fundraiser, Environment California and CalPirg
* Member and Award Recipient, American Civil Liberties Union
* Member and supporter, Death Penalty Focus
* Member and supporter, Equality For All
* Fundraiser, NPH (Our Little Brothers) – for the children of the slums of Haiti
* Member, Citizens Commission on Human Rights
* Patron with Honors, IAS
And formerly:
* Trustee, Religious Freedom Trust
* Board Member and fundraiser, Hollywood Education and Literacy Project
* Board Member and fundraiser, For The Arts, For Every Child
– supporting art and music in public schools
* Board Member and fundraiser, The Christic Institute
- supporting Human Rights in Central America
* Founding Board Member, Earth Communication Office
* Working Board Member, Environmental Media Association
* Fundraiser, El Rescate – Human Rights for El Salvador
* Fundraiser, PAVA – Aid and Human Rights in Guatemala

Awards for outspoken support of Civil and Human Rights:

* Valentine Davies Award – Writers Guild of America
"for bringing honor and dignity to writers everywhere"
*Bill of Rights Award – American Civil Liberties Union
*Hubert H. Humphrey Civil Rights Award – Leadership Conference on Civil Rights
*Peace & Justice Award – Office of the Americas, presented by Daniel Ellsberg
*Signis Award, Venezia, World Catholic Association
*ALMA Award – National Council of Latino Civil Rights
*Ethel Levitt Award for Humanitarian Service – Levitt & Quinn
*Prism Award – Entertainment Industries Council
*Humanitas Prize (2) – Humanitas
*Legacy Award, for Artistic and Humanitarian Achievement
*Environmental Media Award – EMA
*EMA Green Seal Award – EMA
*Image Award – NAACP
*Creative Integrity Award – Multicultural Motion Picture Association
*EDGE Awards (2) – Entertainment Industries Council
*Artistic Freedom Award – City of West Hollywood
*Catholics in Media Award – Catholics in Media Associates

And many dozens of fundraisers and salons at our home on behalf of Human and Civil Rights, the Environment, the Peace Movement, Education, Justice and Equality.

[Photo via Getty Images]

• This is disturbing: When a TV reporter asked Mitch Winehouse how daughter Amy was doing, he replied "Fantastic, fantastic. Her boobs are great as well." Then he backtracked, "I shouldn't have said that should I?" And then he rambled on, "I didn't have to pay for the boobs" and went on to question how she got the cash for them. Apparently Amy is broke and begs him for money a lot. That is, unless she is still mega-rich and shelled out the reported $56K for that glorious rack by herself, which OK says is also a possibility. [OK]
• 
  
• Salman Rushdie rubbed salt in ex-girlfriend Pia Glenn's wound by showing up at a hoity-toity literary event with yet another raven-haired Amazonian goddess on his arm. This one is a Harvard grad who only dates models, which makes it oh-so-enigmatic why she'd date frumpy Rushdie. Hey, did I mention she's an aspiring writer? [Page 6]
• 
  
• When the deejay at 1Oak announced "23 bottles of Cristal for Lindsay Lohan's 23rd birthday," LiLo reportedly "look startled." Not because she is a recovering alcohol with a DUI under her belt, but because it totally wasn't her birthday, her birthday is on July 2nd! [Page 6]
• 
  
• Amber Lee Ettinger suffered "minor cuts" after a rogue lighting scaffold beamed her at that Thrillist-JetBlue junket that everyone went to but no one was supposed to talk about. Apparently the trip was "completely crazy," with freebie Trojan condoms flying everywhere, best all-inclusive junket spring break ever!! [Page 6]
• 
  
• The case against two men accused of extorting $25 million from John Travolta after son Jett's death has ended in a mistrial. The reason was as tabloid as the trial itself: the judge thought the jury pool was leaking information. The judge figured it out when a member of Bahamas' Parliament said he had inside knowledge that defendant Pleasant Bridgewater—a Bahamanian politician with a farcically adorable name—would be acquitted. [NYDN]
• 
  
• Jill Zarin & co. played on their cellphones and were generally bratty at the Memphis premiere. It would actually be pretty disappointing if she showed up somewhere and wasn't a nuisance. [Page 6]
• 
  
• There's a mistake on Jacko's will—or is the whole thing a forgery? Michael Jackson was in New York on July 7, 2002, the same day his will was signed in L.A. His lawyer says they simply wrote down the wrong date, which raises another troubling question: Why, when you are guiding the most famous man on the planet through the most important legal documents of his life, would you not bother to make sure you have the date right? [TMZ]
• 
  
• Trent Reznor, Roseanne Cash, Billy Bragg, and a bunch of other musicians are demanding federal documents explaining how their music was used during torture sessions at Gitmo. This is because they are dutifully liberal, highly enlightened, civic-minded folks who are only somewhat curious to know whether al-Qaeda operatives prefer Nine Inch Nails or country standards. [HuffPo]
• 
  
• Nicole Richie and Samantha Ronson are besties, and Lindsay Lohan is jealous. Nicole is taking the high road, though, and just "wants a better life" for LiLo, thereby employing the deepest and most cutting diss in the Mean Girl manual: Magnanimous pity. [Perez Hilton]

We've seen this sort of behavior before, most notably with people like Jude Law and Colin Farrell, guys who were made into leading men before they had time to prove that they had the chops for such a responsibility. Let lessons be learned from the past and let's put Butler on probation.

Why does this misbehaving star deserve to be grounded? Well, after some early success in a Tomb Raider movie and the title role in the abysmal film adaptation of Phantom of the Opera, Butler and his abs starred in the surprise hit 300, grossing half a billion worldwide and making a legion of fanboys, ladies, and gay men very happy in the process. Because of this crossover appeal, his handlers thought that he could simultaneously dabble in both action and romantic comedy. That could be true, but he hasn't bothered to be in a good movie since 300. Crappy movies are crappy in any genre.

With P.S. I Love You and The Ugly Truth, his rom-coms with Hilary Swank and Katherine Heigl respectively, were both box office flops and critical duds. Gamer, released last month to deafening silence, has barely made a mark and struggled to get past the $20 million mark. It has been a series of missteps for this Scotsman. Citizen, which costars Jamie Foxx, had a good showing at the box office, but critics lit into it, which means that it probably won't rally much more in coming weeks.

While not as bad as Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr or professional bad decision makers Nicolas Cage and John Travolta, Butler is headed down that path if we don't intervene. If he can't pull out a decent project or two then he will be banned from all movies, tabloids, red carpet affairs, awards ceremonies, and celebrity relationships. If he can stay out of the press for three years, he may be rewarded with the starring role on a CBS procedural. This is your punishment Butler, so you better shape up.

Next year's Jennifer Aniston comedy The Bounty could go either way. Aniston was in The Break Up, the best romantic comedy of the decade, but the quality probably had more to do with the writing and direction than her abilities. It better work out, because if not, Butler is well on his way to being an over-valued, over-paid star who can't open anything bigger than a cereal box. If it does, along with maybe a prestige picture or a great cameo in a smaller film, then we will reinstate him into our good grace. Until them, he's in a professional time out.

[Image via Getty]

• So, what does Lindsay Lohan have to say about her disastrous Ungaro show in Paris? She just didn't have time to make a collection that didn't totally suck. And those pasties? She didn't even know about them! "I wasn't aware of the nipple tassels on the girls until they were walking out..." Don't worry, though, because the actress says she's "still learning," which gives us an iota of hope her next effort won't fall so flat. [People]
  
  
• A crazed "in love" fan waited in line five hours so that he could punch singer Leona Lewis at a book signing. She cried a bit, but has made a full recovery. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Neither side will admit it, but Fox Business and MSNBC are both working double time to make sure their respective morning hosts — rivals Don Imus and Joe Scarborough — beat one another at the ratings game. Scarborough's winning, but newcomer Imus could still come up from behind. [Page Six]
  
  
• Here's something none of us could have ever predicted. Britney Spears, who once lost custody of her two tots, has been named "best celebrity mom" in a completely scientific poll put out by a Christmas savings company, the most important source on Earth. [Mirror]
  
  
• Hillary Swank will stop at nothing to have children — someday. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• We're really sorry to be the ones to tell you this, but we're sure you've predicted it, so here it goes: Jon Gosselin vowed to continue a career in television. [NYDN]
  
  
• All wait staff should be on high alert: Miley Cyrus does not tip well. You've been warned. [Splash News]
  
  
• A former bodyguard claimed Howard K. Stern helped Anna Nicole Smith shoot valium. Because, at that point, why not? [NYDN]
  
  
• The late Stephen Gately's Boyzone bandmates will sleep in the chapel with his body the night before his funeral because he wasn't fond of being alone. [Mirror]
  
  
• Eminem must be quite the diva: he refused to work with Madonna. Chump. [NYDN]
  
  
• Because domestic life no longer appeals to viewers, the fifth season of Tori Spelling and family's reality show will be a cross-country trip. Next season? Ultimate fighting. [ET]
  
  
• Rather than simply pleading insanity, one of the men accused of extorting John Travolta after the actor's son's death claims that Travolta's lawyer offered him the $15 million as "hush money." [NYDN]
  
  
• Former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein will appear at Baruch Barnard College today to discuss the trials and tribulations of Iranian... hair. [Page Six]
  
  
• It's officially official: Avril Lavigne has filed for divorce from Sum 41 singer Deryck Jason Whibley. Now perhaps we'll never have to hear those names again. [AP]
  
  
• Joe Francis recently boasted that if he saw rival Brody Jenner, Jenner was "dead." Then he ran into Brody and his friends and did nothing. What a cock. And a tease. [Page Six]

• Michael Jackson confessed to a guy named Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (or to the headlines: "Rabbi Shmuley" that he (1) looked like a lizard, (2) wanted to lock the gates of Neverland and never come out, (3) would've killed himself if it wasn't for the kids, (4) had a crush of Princess Diana, (5) wanted to date a widowed Katie Couric, and (6) that Madonna was jealous of him, wanted to have phone sex, "laid down the law" in regards to NOT going to Disneyland [Ed. She would.], and tried to unsuccessfully initiate phone sex. Even as someone who turns through gossip pages by trade, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck to do with this information, suffice to say that it's completely blowing my mind right now that Jackson could get a rabbi to listen to his shit like shit. Do you people know how hard it is to get a rabbi on the phone? These guys dispense guilt for a living, there's no confession for the Jews. So I'm thinking this Shmuley guy's a crook. Has to be. No real Rabbi has the patience for that shit, even if you are Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, this information, of course, is contained in a book called The Michael Jackson Tapes, which I have no desire to read and wish were actually just twelve demo versions of "PYT" and four of "Wanna Be Starting Something." Mama say what? [NYDN]
  
  
• Penelope Cruz visited a preggers clinic and, with Javier Bardem, is going to be giving birth to the hottest Spanish baby since Jesus started appearing on candles. [NYDN, replete with "OMG" prefixed headline.]
  
  
• John Travolta's having an emotional "collapse" over having to testify over the death of his son, Jett, in the paramedic extortion case. This is so sad, I started thinking about it and maybe got a little teary. Like, really, though: how do you live through something like this? Even Vincent Vega could not be cool, let alone the real John Travolta. Also, you know, why do we need to know this? I don't know. Here: [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• McKenzie Phillips' stepmom is mad at Oprah and her daughter for taking her family laundry out to Oprah after her Phillips' father is dead. Everyone else is like STFU MCKENZIE PHILLIPS' STEPMOM, MORE ABOUT THIS INCEST BIZNASS PLZKTHX. Ah, the insatiable public thirst for pertinent information. [US]
  
  
• Khloe Kardashian—famous for being the sister of Kim Kardashian, who's famous for having a large ass—is now flashing around her engagement ring to Lamar Odom, who's famous for being an L.A. Laker. Now, on Khloe and Lamar's Whirlwind Romance Tour, one thing has yet to happen: Lamar has yet to play an NBA game. Mark my words, here and now: he's going to suck this season, and there's going to be only one thing to blame it on: the loss of brain cells, or the inactivity of certain synapses one needs to perform both complex motor skills other than man-on-top and involved, stimulating conversation. L.A., you reap what you sow. There should be legislation designed to prevent this kind of shit. You think Cleveland would let Lebron take a girl home that wasn't mother-approved? That mother, of course, NOT being Kris Kardashian. No. They wouldn't. [US]
  
  
• Har! George Clooney needed a doctor and his driver in Italy took him to a dentist. Good thing he didn't hurt his penis. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Anna Paquin's dog is going to be her ring-bearer at her wedding to True Blood co-star Stephen Moyer, because Anna hates children. Actually, I have no idea why she's having a dog be a ring-bearer, or how it's going to work, or what kind of dog it is, because I'm not going to spend another minute working on this item. I'm in a mood today, right? Anyway. Dogs! If I had a dog be my ring bearer, basically, I'd find the cat it hates most and tape it to the floor at the foot of the altar and let it go at the back of the church and pick up the cat right as the dog gets there and grab the ring off of his collar. Or that's how the plan would work. Inevitably, it wouldn't, and hijinks would ensue, though this ambition probably lowers the probability of me getting married to anything but a vaguely Eastern European clown-by-trade by at least five percent. Maybe six. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Is Sam Ronson spreading rumors about Lindsay Lohan being all over town getting kicked out of places like the Bowery Hotel? Probably. Are we past the point where we care whether or not they're true? Probably. [Page Six]
  
  
• Neve Campbell's going to return for Scream 4, but nobody gives a shit because they killed Randy in Scream 2. Though it's nice to see Neve Campbell again, I have nothing nice to add to this except to say that Scream 2 had an exceptionally good soundtrack. One example: D'Angelo's cover of Prince's "She's Always In My Hair," which first appeared on it, as well as the Eels "Your Lucky Day In Hell." God, Scream 2 kinda had some decent stuff going for it (Timothy Olyphant, anyone?), didn't it? [US]
  
  
• Speaking of Party of Five alum, Jennifer Love Hewitt still knows she's hot, and doesn't give a shit what you think, because she can talk to ghosts and you can't. [Page Six]
  
  
• Lily Allen performed a gig with diarrhea. This is funny because her music is poop. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Gerard Butler hates diets. Every time a celebrity is like, I LOVE to eat fast food, I'm like, fuck you, die, because you don't actually love it and you're just telling people that you do so they'll get fatter and you'll stay the same. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Courtney Love is just a moron. Courtney, if you're reading this, you're a moron. Seriously. You're smoking cigarettes inside elevators on the way to the penthouse for Fashion Week afterparties? I mean, I guess whoever would have you at their party would be cool with it, since you're there in the first place and they expect the absolute worst, but Jesus, don't you have a daughter, or, like, more of Kurt Cobain's estate to sell-out and consequently shame? Oy. [Page Six]
  
  
• Charlie Rose is annoyed that he has to find sponsors to back his show, but honestly, he could probably just hit up all the titans of industry he helps broker deals between for cash. Rose doesn't like to be a peasant and hit up his homies. Sorry, Charlie: that's life on the big public TV. You don't hear Tavis Smiley whining like a little bitch about Jim Leher's money, do you? No, you don't. STFU. [Page Six]
  
  
• Snoop Dogg recently fessed up to being a fan of 90s British sitcom Keeping Up Appearances. Now, let's think about this for a moment: Doggystyle came out in 1994. Keeping Up Appearances went on the air in 1990 and ended in 1995, arguably at the height of Death Row Records' (violent) reign over rap. So imagine, if you will, Snoop D-O-Double-G sneaking onto the tour bus during a particularly hard party to get high and giggle at Patricia Routledge. Well, unfortunately, he *claims* to watch it on BBC America, where they still show it. Don't believe the spin. [The Sun]

• Two shitheads allegedly tried exhort $25 million from John Travolta after his son Jett's death. If he didn't pay, they would release the 16-year's medical documents. Well, now they're on trial and poor Travolta had to testify about the 40 minutes he spent trying to save his son's life. He also admitted, finally, that his son was autistic, something he had never said before. [LA Times]
  
  
• Art imitated life for Jennifer Aniston during filming of The Bounty. A source claims that an assistant walked in on Aniston crying after filming a scene that reminded her of long-lost Brad Pitt. [Page Six]
  
  
• Conservative darling and failed beauty queen Carrie Prejean's really, really trying to hold onto those 15-minutes: she's modeling slutty Halloween costume. [TMZ]
  
  
• Ellen Pompeo had a baby. And it's a girl named Stella. [WaPo]
  
  
• Samantha Burke squeezed out Jude Law's baby a week early. We guess she wanted to get that sweet, sweet tabloid money sooner, rather than later. [Times Online]
  
  
• Lily Allen realized no one wants to buy her records anymore, so she's quit music forever. [Perez]
  
  
• Real Housewives of New York troublemaker Kelly Bensimon succeeded once again in grabbing some ink by posing in Playboy. But, like a wuss, she won't be showing her puss. [Page Six]
  
  
• Tinsley Mortimer makes her prince boyfriend carry her purse in silence. [Page Six]
  
  
• Not content to design just dresses, Zac Posen now wants to design an apartment building. [Page Six]
  
  
• Chynna Phillips says she fell into a 10-day depression after learning that her father John had been having a long-term affair with her half-sister, Mackenzie Phillips. She was not, however, surprised. [NYDN]

• She's unlucky in love and the frequent butt of jokes, but now that her dog's dead, Jessica Simpson's friends think the singer "will put her into the worst place ever" and send her into a "tailspin." The final straw comes in many forms. [People]
  
  
• The investigation into Anna Nicole Smith's death took some twists this week. Court documents reveal that a pharmacist tried to warn Anna Nicole Smith's doctors that her over-the-top pill-popping was bad news. One described the drugs prescribed after her son's death as "pharmaceutical suicide." Meanwhile, court documents show proof that the doctors — psychiatrist, Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, and internist, Sandeep Kapoor — had sexual contact with Smith.[LA Times]
  
  
• John Travolta will take the stand in the Bahamas today to testify in a trial against a paramedic and lawyer who are accused of using information on his son's death to extort $25 million. [People]
  
  
• Nick Prugo, the 18-year old who police think broke in Lindsay Lohan's house, was spotted hanging out with the actress on the set of her straight-to-tv movie, Labor Pains. Prugo, by the way, was busted for cocaine possession back in February. [TMZ]
  
  
• Mad women were trying to get into Barack Obama's pants during the campaign, and that really pissed off Michelle. So, what did the future first lady do? She gave him the silent treatment. And, maybe, had a female campaign staffer sent into exile on Martinique. [Page Six]
  
  
• Tax dollars well-spent: The Clinton tapes reveal that secret service agents once had to maintain order when a drunken, underwear-clad Boris Yeltsin tried to hail a cab to go get pizza. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• David Hasselhoff went to the hospital this weekend because of ear infection medicine, not booze. That's what he says, at least. [Page Six]
  
  
• All of the Los Angeles Lakers have been invited to Khloe Kardashian's wedding to forward Lamar Odom. [TMZ]
  
  
• Oh, the humanity! Anna Wintour had to sit next to Alexa Chung and Pixie Geldof during a show at London's fashion week. And she doesn't look happy. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Kate Gosselin's broke down in tears recently because she was filming a talk show, is going through a divorce and misses her eight children. [Page Six]
  
  
• Chaz Bono, who's currently transitioning from female to male, will write a memoir called Coming Clean. [TMZ]

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart claim to be "taking it slow," as in, not getting married yet, denying recent reports that Pattinson proposed to Stewart. However, we can probably project, for all of you stalkerish teenage Pattinson fans who have come to the site via search results, and would like to kill Kristen Stewart in cold blood, or at the very least, see her be cast out of the Twilight universe, that (A) she's not going anywhere and (B) unlike the characters of Stephanie Meyer's ridiculous vampire chastity universe, well: they're probably fucking. Have a nice Sunday, kids! [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Jude Law opened the first preview of Hamlet on Broadway last night, and he wasn't that bad. Not surprising! But then again, there wasn't an opportunity for him to pull his dick out and violate your (sister/girlfriend/nanny/presumably of-age daughter), so: good to know. [NYDN]
  
  
• John Travolta, wife Kelly Preston, and daughter Ella made their first public appearance at the premiere of Road Dogs since the death of their son, Jett. In all honesty, it looks like they're trying to smile, and would rather be somewhere else. I sincerely feel bad for them, crazy Scientology business or not. Look: [US]
  
  
• Some Malibu shopping center is advertising itself as a Paparazzi-Free Zone. Which is ridiculous. Because nothing in Malibu is Paparazzi-Free. [Page Six]
  
  
• Britney Spears used a music video audition to try to pick up on a model and take him home. This never works for me. Somehow, she didn't anticipate the model knowing that she's got two kids and is absolutely crazy. [NYDN]
  
  
• Tyson Beckford wasn't allowed in the VIP area at Mansion (or, ridiculously, "M2") so he started yelling at a bouncer, and then realized the bouncer was letting him in. I don't get it. Male models and they problems confuse me. [Page Six]
  
  
• Jets fans! You have so much to look forward to. Your hottie rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez listens to James Taylor before games to get pumped up. Hopefully he won't turn his offensive line on to Enya, lest he get knocked into submission after four snaps. [NYDN]
  
  
• More sports: Mets dynasty player Lenny Dykstra snuck his way into today's Gossip Roundup. He has to sell his 1986 World Series ring, because he's now only worth $50K. The world is sad, no? [NYDN]
  
  
• Nikki Beach—an island resort on Turks and Caicos—went bankrupt after the mega-celebrities who used to vacation there drying up. The place had personal butlers and a pillow menu, and you know what? Some extravagances are stupid, but a pillow menu, I wouldn't mind. I mean, that's stupid too, but I'd just love to say to someone: just bring me your fluffiest goose down in complete sincerity. [NYDN]
  
  
• VH1's going to be toning down the format of their reality shows after people started getting killed post-appearance. Because, you know, that's insane. Hey, though: remember Pop-Up Video, VH1? Nobody got killed by Pop-Up Video. Or Rock and Roll Jeopardy, though we did have to watch Mark McGrath school us all is pop culture knowledge. The guy has a MENSA-like aptitude for rock trivia, seriously. Who'd a thought? [Page Six]

Celebrity: David Hasselhoff and Gary Coleman
Car: K.I.T.T.
Why So Embarrassing: It's the creepy thumbs up that makes this picture awesome to everyone not in it.
Suggested By: F1Morgan, Scandanavian Flick

Celebrity: 50 Cent
Car: Pontiac G8 GXP
Why So Embarrassing: Though we love the car, it doesn't particularly do it any good to get tarted up by 50 Cent on what seems to be the down-slope of his career. We bet Kanye could have sold more G8s.
Suggested By: BuickBoy92

Celebrity: Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta, William H. Macy
Car: Harley Davidson Bikes
Why So Embarrassing: The four of them look like a gay biker gang, but not in the good way. We do give them props for their realistic portrayal of the typical lame Harley owner in this shot from the film Wild Hogs.
Suggested By: Golferal

Celebrity: Michael Johnson
Car: C4 Corvette
Why So Embarrassing: Oh so 1990s. You may be fast, but you'll never outrun this Glamour Shot.
Photo Credit: Mike Powell /Allsport

Celebrity: Mila Kunis
Car: Lexus SC430
Why So Embarrassing: We're not big fans of the Lexus SC430, but it's not particularly embarrassing. Parking it in a handicapped spot to grab a coffee is.

Celebrity: Michael Phelps
Car: Mazda6/Atenza
Why So Embarrassing: Immediately following his pot bust/gold medal marathon Phelps was tasked with pushing the Mazda brand in China. We'd probably start using drugs as well.

Celebrity: Andre Agassi
Car: Vector W8
Why So Embarrassing: Posing near a Vector W8 is only cool in a semi-ironic sort of way. In this case, Agassi is trying to show off all he has: big hair, awkward car, soon-to-be-ex girlfriend.

Photo Credit: John Russell/Getty Images

Celebrity: Danica Patrick
Car: Chevrolet Bel Air
Why So Embarrassing: Danica Patrick is talented, but she also understands the connection between her sex appeal and her ability to get sponsors. Unfortunately, this photo is just awkward. It's supposed to be enticing and seductive but the strange outfit and uncomfortable look makes us wish we'd never seen this photo.
Suggested By: PowerMatic

Photo Credit: FHM/George Holz/JEGPhoto

Celebrity: Adam West
Car: Chrysler 300C
Why So Embarrassing: Adam West, Batman, drives an old man car. Whatever, he's hilarious. He gets away with it. What he doesn't get away with is the "NBR1BAT" license plate. Holy Vanity Plate Batman!
Suggested By: 57sweptside

Celebrity: Conan O'Brien
Car: Ford Taurus SHO
Why So Embarrassing: Yes, Conan O'Brien is trying to look ridiculous. Yes, we love the Ford Taurus SHO. This is embarrassing for Conan because his attempts at appearing silly fail. You look awesome Conan.
Suggested By: Nerdwa

Celebrity: Sting
Car: Toyota Prius
Why So Embarrassing: Really, the guy who wrote Outlandos d'Amour is suddenly out cruising town in a Prius. We thought tantric sex was about extending the pleasure. Hybrids cut it way short, Gordy.
Suggested By: JamesMarino

Celebrity: Michael Schumacher
Car: Fiat Work Van
Why So Embarrassing: Schumacher looks the part too well. Also, "the quick gardner" sounds like a bad German translation of a man who fires quickly in bed.
Suggested By: Mr_Sives_Remotoc.

On Saturday, the Daily Mail speculated at length that Travolta was on the verge of bolting the cult, citing his despodency over the death of his son Jett, whose autism reportedly went untreated on account of how Scientology doesn't believe in autism. The first glimpse of daylight between Travolta, who has reportedly funded the church to the tune of millions, and Scientology came last month when details of a Bahamian police report emerged in which Travolta acknowledged that Jett "suffered from a seizure disorder and was autistic."

But yesterday Travolta's rep told E!Online that the Daily Mail report was "totally false":

"There's no change in the relationship between the Church of Scientology and John," Paul Bloch told E! News. "He is a member and it's as it was, now and forever."

And in Scientology, forever means, like, forever.

But, as another E!Online story notes, Scientology has a way of holding sway over some celebrity adherents even after they've decided they don't want to play anymore: The cult's "auditing" process involves extracting confessions of all manner of "deviant" behavior, from financial misdeeds to sexual histories, and storing the data in the church's archives. If a wavering member, say, didn't want anybody to know that he's had sex with men, the church would have a fairly good chance of convincing him not to, in Scientology parlance, "blow."

According to the Daily Mail - who rounded up some interesting quotes on the matter - it appears to be a very real possibility. To say Travolta's had a rough go of it recently would be putting it very, very lightly.

On the business side of things, Travolta's big role this year performed under studio expectations. A complete aside, when you consider his personal life:

His son Jett - reportedly autistic, a diagnosis the Church of Scientology refuses to dignify - passed away earlier this year. Travolta defied Scientology and acknowledged it. Some sleazy gossip website put together a theory that enlists the idea of Travolta not only having a gay lover, but the gay lover - his son's nanny - being a primary cause of his son's death. Which is besides the fact that someone tried to extort him over documents involved in his son's transportation, and his wife might've tried (successfully) to get Roger Friedman fired by going to the top brass at Fox over Friedman's comments on Scientology.

All of this gives the Daily Mail's report some ground to walk on, when they note:

His distress, say sources close to him, has been compounded by the first cracks in his 34-year relationship with the Church of Scientology, the cult-like religion of which Travolta is a prominent and generous benefactor. And there are dark mutterings that if he carries out private threats to leave, the organisation will go public with embarrassing details of his private life, including, it is claimed, allegations of past homosexual relationships. Sources in the U.S. disclosed to me this week that his son's sudden death has 'deeply shaken' Travolta's faith in the strange sect, which makes wild claims about its ability to cure a variety of physical and mental disorders.

There's more talk of Travolta taking late night drives by himself, and being in a "state of constant distress." There's the very evident weight Travolta's gained. There's the memory of Scientology's scary-ass leader David Miscavage slagging on Travolta's sexuality:

Earlier, the prestigious Time magazine also reported allegations made by Richard Aznaran, the former security head of Scientology, that the Church's leader, David Miscavige, had repeatedly joked about Travolta's 'promiscuous homosexual behaviour'.

And then there's the fact that Scientology has a well known history of intimidation of the physical and emotional stripe. This goes without saying, but: Travolta's donated millions of dollars, and what could only be thousands of hours to the church throughout his life. Shit, he made Battlefield Earth.

For a celebrity of Travolta's stature to renounce Scientology would be massive, for both parties. Even rumors of Travolta's potential departure from the religion are pretty damning. Granted, it'll be a difficult path if he chooses to take it - the resistance he'll encounter from the highest levels of the religion are potentially fiscally, emotionally, and physically dangerous to his livelihood - but one that could shake Scientology to its absolute core.

Is John Travolta cracking up? [Daily Mail]

1) The Hangover — $33.4 million
Dude. Proving that word-of-mouth is more powerful movie mojo than any marketing trick, tool, or stratagem combined, this $35 million film has earned three times that much in just two weeks. Dropping only about 25% from last weekend's debut barnstorm, this thing is likely to keep going and going and going until it's earned over $200 million and everyone is fattened and wealthy and, yes, drunk. Would you have ever guessed that Heather Graham would be back in the top spot again? Or that Rachel Harris would ever be there for the first time? Or Mike Tyson? This is the stuff of comedy weirdo dreams and, oh lord yes, you can expect a long string of knock-offs. The K-Hole starring Breckin Meyer, anyone?

2) Up — $30.5 million
Lordy, this one can't be stopped either. Pic's already hauled in nearly $190 million, and it hasn't even opened overseas yet. Pixar has a proud history of stomping the international yard, and this flick ought to be no exception. Unless they can't get a good foreign guy to do a decent Ed Asner impression. Because that's really key. Also, Belgian people just don't like balloons. Don't ask them why. They just don't like 'em. And we all know how much the Japanese hate fat boy scouts. A lot.

3) The Taking of Pelham 123 — $25 million
Am I an idiot that I can't figure out just what the fuck subway car the thing is supposed to be? Is it on the 123 line? It doesn't look like it in the trailers. Maybe everyone else was confused too, because this movie just didn't open the way people had hoped it would. And it actually got some decent reviews. I guess the lesson is this: Denzel opens well in the spring or fall or winter, when he doesn't have slobby belching comedians and magic houses to contend with. And John Travolta? Well, I fear the era of John Travolta may have been mortally wounded around the time of Battlefield Earth and never quite recovered. That was when he finally teetered over the brink from kinda unhinged in a cool way (so great in Face/Off!) to just fucking weird and indulgent and completely unhinged in unpleasant way. That said, Old Dogs will do a billion dollars when it opens.

5) Land of the Lost — $9.6 million
Yeesh. This thing is basically dead now. With only some $35 million earned so far, the hundred-million-dollar movie will have to go big overseas (it won't—ferners don't really get our funny stuff) or do crazy on DVD (it won't—people will forget it even exists) to make any sorta profit. So, sad for everyone, but hopefully at least one good thing will come out of this. One hopes that the hideous trend that began maybe fifteen years ago of people looking at kitschy old TV shows and making movies out of them will end. I mean, yeah, The Brady Bunch Movie was kind of funny and... um... wait is that it? What am I forgetting? Lost in Space: Unbelievable trainwreck. Beverly Hillbillies: Un-fucking-watchable. Bewitched: Will, why? Starsky & Hutch: Maybe one funny joke. Miami Vice: Maybe sorta interesting, maybe also extremely boring. Basically what we're saying is: You sure you wanna do this, people producing The A Team?

6) Imagine That — $5.7 million
Buried by an almost completely-silent marketing campaign and then a raft of shitty reviews, the latest Eddie Murphy flop isn't even surprising. During his brief regaining of the BO crown—around the Nutty Professor/Dr. Doolittle age—Murphy's blend of crazy! and family seemed unstoppable. Now it's... entirely stoppable. Like less than $2,000 per screen on an opening weekend stoppable. I guess you have to respect Murphy for keepin' on plugging away. Maybe for every Imagine That or Meet Dave or Norbit there's also a... disappointing Oscar lose for Dreamgirls. Hey, at least you have The Incredible Shrinking Man and Beverly Hills Cop IV to look forward to, Eddie! At least there's... that.

The report was obtained by the National Enquirer. Travolta's use of the term "autistic" seems to be a break from church doctrine, which teaches that pyschiatric diagnoses are fake ailments invented by Nazi psychiatrists so they can give people drugs to keep them from realizing their true potential of controlling the physical world with their minds.

Prior to Jett's death, his mother Kelly Preston attributed his problems to a rare disorder called Kawasaki disease and to "environmental toxins" from carpet-cleaners. She claimed that a Scientological detoxification regime had helped to ease his symptoms.

After Jett's death, Scientology representatives denied that the church has taken a stance on autism, saying, "It's medicine. The church deals with the spirit. If people have a medical problem or a physical ailment, they go to a doctor. It's church policy that they do so and they get that addressed." But autism is a psychiatric disorder described in DSM-IV, psychiatry's diagnostic bible. While a case could be made that Travolta was only using the term generally, to describe a disorder with physical roots that he thought could be explained, Scientology-style, by toxins, it's certainly unusual for a high-profile representative of the church to use the word.

• Lindsay Lohan's obsessive stalking of Samantha Ronson throughout Europe seems to have worked. Ronson appears to have caved to Li-Lo's insanity out of fear for her life or something, as they were spotted spending the day together in Los Angeles after a Lohan tweet hinted that they may be back togther. [Sun]
  
  
• Things are getting ugly between Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott on the set of their Robin Hood flick. Allegedly producers are having to fly in to make peace between the two, who have refused to speak to each other at times. Russell Crowe also so showed up fat to play Robin Hood at the start of filming, something that didn't please Scott and the producers, who forced Crowe to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs. [Page Six]
  
  
• Anne Hathaway thinks she's ready for the bright lights of Broadway and is set to play Judy Garland in the the upcoming musical, Get Happy, The Life of Judy Garland. [Daily News]
  
  
• Here's a shocker—NBC is vigorously denying the Speidi torture allegations, basically saying that everything Heidi and Spencer have claimed is a load of crap. Again, shocking. [Daily News]
  
  
• Susan Boyle has reclaimed her sanity with the help of her cat "Pebbles" and is ready to start rehearsing for the Britain's Got Talent tour. [Mirror]
  
  
• This whole Jon and Kate thing is already beyond ridiculous, but it only grows more so by the day—Authorities with the Pennsylvania Humane Society were called on to investigate whether or not the Gosselin's dogs had been abused by the family. [Dlisted]
  
  
• Chris Brown has taken to surrounding himself with burly bodyguards whenever he makes public appearances out of fear that someone will seek retaliation for his beating of Rihanna. [Page Six]
  
  
• Simon Cowell is on the verge of nailing down a deal to produce a remake of Saturday Night Fever, with Zac Efron set to star as the character played by John Travolta in the original. [Sun]
  
  
• Kelly Bensimon of Real Housewives of New York was cleared of assault charges after the dude she allegedly beat up failed to show up in court. [EOnline]

With the tighter confines of a New York City subway car to contain him, Travolta has downgraded his Parisian bazooka for a more conveniently terrorizing handgun. And as the heavily tattooed hijacker to Denzel Washington's transit worker-turned-crisis negotiator, he's surrendered the adorable leather-daddy exterior we had hoped he'd maintain for at least a few more roles. Alas, the savagery is complete. As for the rest, we're still not convinced the 1974 original required a visit from the End of Ideas fairy, but who can say really say no to Tony Scott? Oh. Well, give it a look anyway.

• 'The Taking Of Pelham 123' [YouTube]

From E Online:

Senior Assistant Commissioner of Police Marvin Dames tells the Bahamas' Nassau Guardian that a document believed to be at the center of the case is a "refusal to transport" form, which is signed by a party "when refusing, for example, emergency medical services from trained personnel" in cases of minor injury and releases the paramedics from liability.

TMZ reports that "sources connected with the investigation tell us John Travolta told EMT workers he wanted to fly his son to Florida rather than drive by ambulance to the hospital....which was 45 minutes away."

Meanwhile, the cadre of baddies behind the plot—Mama Fratelli ringleader Sen. Pleasant Bridgewater and Sloth-like paramedic Tarino Lightbourne (former tourism minister Obie Wilchcombe has been cleared, but still seems slimy)—faced a judge today and were released on bail.

• Jett's Ambulance Ride at Center of Alleged Travolta Extortion Plot [E Online]
• Details in Mystery Travolta Extortion Doc [TMZ]