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Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Why venture capitalists love your mom


12/03/09
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1) Bad in bed. They lie there like a lox and moan, and you cannot mount their bodies in hopes of any pleasure due to boneyness and a lack of muscle tone, a result of NEVER DOING ANYTHING OF VALUE ever. In the case of the model, she can barely move her pelvis, let alone her entire body, in the bed due to low energy because she never consumes calories.
2) Functionally illiterate. Would not know a reference to Nietzsche or Bataille.
3) Fuck-nuts crazy, as you well know, and will fuck up your life outside the bedroom. And crazy smells bad, like burnt plastic.
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"Lennard said she had never had sex with Johnson."
[www.nypost.com]
Also, best newspaper sentence ever: "Semel allegedly beat Johnson up and lit her hair on fire during a catfight at Semel's home."
(Not that I condone domestic violence. But there's all kinds of crazy in that sentence.)
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On a related note, please link the recipe for your cranberry-lime tarts. They sound awesome!
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P.S. Also included in my line of I'll-have-what-she's-having desserts is my exciting new Triple Creme Tart.
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Is this a come on?
A romantic gesture?
Some weird lesbian way of saying "fuck you?"
What would the gay male equivalent of this be? I'm not sure a used Fleshlight would be quite the same thing.
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Were they at summer camp?
Too many unanswered questions! Aghch!!!
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Like, how long do you look at panties before you pull them off her?
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If I had to pick my wife's underwear out of a lineup, I'd be surprised if I got 50% correct.
But then again, I'm a dude. It ain't the undies I'm looking at most times.
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-Bill Murray, Stripes, 1981
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As the grandparents of this child, I think they are obligated to step in and make her life at least as good as it was in Fuckedupstan.
Stories like this make my blood boil.
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