• So Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo got into a huge fight at some event for Jet Blue, just another one of a bazillion events they'd attend together to scoop up appearance fees, when they got into a huge fight and before you know it, it was over. [Hollyscoop]
  
  
• If you're wondering what future seasons of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will be like, it's rumored that it'll feature some scenes with Jon's new girlfriend. Ooohhh...catfight! [Daily News]
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan tried to get up on a drunk Justin Timberlake at Noah Tepperberg's new club Avenue the other night, but Timberlake was all "get on out of here ho!" and shooed her away. This gave Lindsay a sad and she went on Twitter and tried to start a rumor about him. [Page Six]
  
  
• Anne Hathaway keeps her friends looking stylish by giving them loads of clothes out of her own closet. Surely, many of them come free from designers and stylists or were purchased by her swindler ex-boyfriend, but still, a nice gesture. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Megan Fox is working on a film in St. Francisville, Louisiana (I've been there!) and almost burned down the whole town after some explosion on the set spread to some of the surrounding "historic" buildings and land. Her crappy thumbs are probably to blame here. [Page Six]
  
  
• Creepy Men's Fitness editor Neal Boulton and his wife have begun shooting scenes around town for their reality show about the bi-sexual swinging life in New York City. Consider yourselves warned. [Page Six]
  
  
• Madonna is so upset over having to be away from her English country home that she's ordered architects to redesign her Upper West Side apartment to create the feel of a house on the English countryside. Naturally, she's driving everyone involved with the project insane. [Mirror]
  
  
• Courtney Love is looking kind of like she needs one of those Steve Jobs style liver transplants or something. She's just withering away. [Sun]
  
  
• Daryl Hannah is now an environmental activist and she was arrested yesterday for sitting on top of a coal mine or something. [EOnline]
  
  
• This video of Zachary Quinto being dragged to the ground by his dog as a man dressed as a t-bone steak walks by is one of the most bizarre things you'll ever see. [DListed]

Jon and Kate say they're "separating!" They never mentioned the word "divorce." So does that mean there's hope? Oh, who are we kidding—As if we care!

You all do know what this means, right? TLC will create a Jon and Kate Plus 8 spinoff, so they'll each have their own shows, which will run back to back on the same night. Are you ready for Kate Plus 8 and Jon Plus 8? That's how you maximize advertising baby! And America will certainly slurp it all up, every last drop.

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Reports People:

"Documents to initiate a legal split were filed in Pennsylvania Monday afternoon."

Yes, shocking. Why do we care anymore? We have no idea.

UPDATE: Video of the big "announcement" from tonight's episode can be viewed here.

Gosselin Divorce Papers Filed [People]

• Elle is letting Lindsay Lohan off the hook in regards to the 400K in jewels that went missing after a recent photo shoot she did for the magazine. A spokesperson said "Elle has no reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan was in any way responsible and has no further comment to make." And now Lindsay's pissed that anyone would have the audacity to accuse her in the first place because, you know, Lilo would never steal anything. [Daily News]
  
  
• Two insane Ohio cops tried to break into the home of the surrogate mother carrying the child of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick so that they could blackmail them or rip the baby from the womb and hold it for ransom or something. Who knows? [Daily News]
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are insanely jealous of—Wait for it—Jon and Kate! Apparently, these two are seething that Jon and Kate are hogging up all the tabloid magazine covers. For shame! [Page Six]
  
  
• Nick Hornby recently took both his current and former wife on an exotic vacation, along with his kids by both women, and they all stayed in the same vacation home together, which all seems like a very Nick Hornby thing to do. [Page Six]
  
  
• Justin Timberlake loves ordering rounds of nitrogen chilled tequila shots at douchey Manhattan clubs. [Page Six]
  
  
• Fox's Juliet Huddy's third marriage is coming to an end after just four months. Ok, so if you're under the age of 40 and you've been married three times, something's wrong. If your third marriage doesn't even last six months, something's seriously wrong! [Page Six]
  
  
• Well here's proof that the London theater scene is going to crap just like the New York theater scene—Mariah Carey is set to star in a new play on the West End next year. [Mirror]
  
  
• Britney Spears threw on some pink hot pants and went out for some McDonald's in London the other day, because Britney doesn't get any more painfully Britney than when she's running out for McDonald's in pink hot pants. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Madonna has enlisted Gwyneth Paltrow to decorate the bedroom of her new adopted African baby, Mercy, just because she's Madonna and can get away with asking people to do ridiculous things to please her. [Sun]

• Megan Fox wants everyone to know that she has definitely dumped David Silver and is so very single and is looking for a dude to bake cookies for and give her butt massages and whatnot. [Sun]
  
  
• Sienna Miller claims that she's never been on a "real date," nor has she ever had a one-night stand, which is a shame. Really, she should have a few of those. Everyone should. [Page Six]
  
  
• Susan Boyle's return to action on the Britain's Got Talent tour was short-lived as her doctor ordered her to get some rest due the extreme "exhaustion" she's been suffering from. She's a delicate little flower. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Jon and Kate Gosselin celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary over the weekend by...spending it apart! Apparently Kate spent the entire weekend with the kids while Jon's "whereabouts this weekend were unknown." [EOnline]
  
  
• Jennifer Aniston thinks that she's a parallel between her actual life and the roles she plays in all of the romantic comedies she stars in. [Mirror]
  
  
• Rihanna seems to be casting some sort of voodoo spell on Chris Brown, who just can't seem to help himself from falling back in love with her when he sees her at basketball games where she's rumored to be watching her new lover on the court. [Daily News]
  
  
• Gwen Stefani says that being a full-time mom and wife doesn't leave much time for the glamor of being a rock star. [Daily News]
  
  
• Justin Long, aka the "Mac Guy," doesn't have an iPhone. Instead he uses some piece of crap Motorola phone according to one of Page Six's tipsters. How horrible! [Page Six]
  
  
• Madonna's latest adopted child has been flown to the U.S. and already been outfitted with a nanny and a private nurse. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan's obsessive stalking of Samantha Ronson throughout Europe seems to have worked. Ronson appears to have caved to Li-Lo's insanity out of fear for her life or something, as they were spotted spending the day together in Los Angeles after a Lohan tweet hinted that they may be back togther. [Sun]
  
  
• Things are getting ugly between Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott on the set of their Robin Hood flick. Allegedly producers are having to fly in to make peace between the two, who have refused to speak to each other at times. Russell Crowe also so showed up fat to play Robin Hood at the start of filming, something that didn't please Scott and the producers, who forced Crowe to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs. [Page Six]
  
  
• Anne Hathaway thinks she's ready for the bright lights of Broadway and is set to play Judy Garland in the the upcoming musical, Get Happy, The Life of Judy Garland. [Daily News]
  
  
• Here's a shocker—NBC is vigorously denying the Speidi torture allegations, basically saying that everything Heidi and Spencer have claimed is a load of crap. Again, shocking. [Daily News]
  
  
• Susan Boyle has reclaimed her sanity with the help of her cat "Pebbles" and is ready to start rehearsing for the Britain's Got Talent tour. [Mirror]
  
  
• This whole Jon and Kate thing is already beyond ridiculous, but it only grows more so by the day—Authorities with the Pennsylvania Humane Society were called on to investigate whether or not the Gosselin's dogs had been abused by the family. [Dlisted]
  
  
• Chris Brown has taken to surrounding himself with burly bodyguards whenever he makes public appearances out of fear that someone will seek retaliation for his beating of Rihanna. [Page Six]
  
  
• Simon Cowell is on the verge of nailing down a deal to produce a remake of Saturday Night Fever, with Zac Efron set to star as the character played by John Travolta in the original. [Sun]
  
  
• Kelly Bensimon of Real Housewives of New York was cleared of assault charges after the dude she allegedly beat up failed to show up in court. [EOnline]

1.) Cougars!
Babs had a hard time saying it at first…

…but once she did, she liked how it sounded.

A lot.

2.) Sometimes soap opera dialogue sounds like that of a Russ Meyer movie.

3.) Talking about the weather, being judgmental about seat belt safety…Lauren Conrad is the definition of a square snot.

4.) Tyra is square snot².

5.) The Insider suggests the state intervene with Jon and Kate…because they are raising narcissists. Could you imagine the tax hike that would occur should indulgence be made a criteria of neglect/abuse?

6.) But that's business as usual for The Insider.

7.) Did Whoopi fuck Hugh Hefner?

8.) My mom was in The View audience this week. I could recognize her anywhere. Dollars to donuts I hear all about how freezing it was in the studio, and how rude Joy Behar is for not wanting to pose with her during a commercial break, the next time we speak. This is at least the sixth time in 11 years that's she's been an audience member on that show.

9.) How do you call monkeys?

10.) Janice Dickinson was on Finland's Next Top Model, and we posted about how she got wasted, fell down a flight of stairs, and then insulted the contestants by calling them "fucking dumb." However, she was totally blotto when she first arrived on set, acting like Miss Hannigan.

• Page Six reports that Chace Crawford was running around in the Hamptons last weekend with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Esti Ginzburg, who just couldn't stop sending him text messages all over the place. [Page Six]
  
  
• International fame seems to be getting to Susan Boyle, who went bonkers on two strangers in the lobby of a London hotel. Cops intervened, and a hysterically crying Boyle went off on them as well. [Sun]
  
  
• Kate Gosselin's brother and sister-in-law, seeking to be the "voice of our nieces and nephews," claim that she and Jon are exploiting their children for money, fame and ratings. Well DUH! [New York Post]
  
  
• Rihanna will steam up the screen in a new Kanye West video, wearing nothing but sexy lingerie that barely covers up her ample lady parts. Chris Brown will not be pleased. [Sun]
  
  
• Speaking of Chris Brown, he posted a video to YouTube saying "I ain't a monster" and that everyone is just telling lies and all those bruises on Rihanna's face were just the result of her slipping in the shower or something. [Daily News]
  
  
• Anna Wintour knows that Conde Nast is going to crap so she's been stepping out all over the place in the secret hope that Barack Obama will name her ambassador to Britain. [Page Six]
  
  
• Jessica Simpson is set to star in a new reality series where she travels the world in search of the real meaning of beauty. No, we're totally serious about this. [US Weekly]
  
  
• Here's one we didn't see coming...Eliza Dushku is apparently dating Rick Fox, Vanessa Williams' ex-husband. [Just Jared]
  
  
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar says that there will be a Saved By The Bell reunion on Jimmy Fallon's show in June. [Starpulse]
  
  
• Lance Bass spent Memorial Day weekend partying down at The Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. On a related note, we are so saddened that there's even a Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. [Guest of Guest]

• Lily Allen took to Twitter account to unleash a fury of hate on Susan Boyle saying, "Susan Boyle is so overrated...Listen, I'm allowed to have an opinion. I thought her timing was off. No control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice. Yes, she can sing, but it's not about talent with her is it?" [DListed]
  
  
• Jon and Kate are facing the "dark side of reality" because all of their squabbling on television may lead viewers to turn against them and then their show would be cancelled and then they'd be miserable AND broke, and who wants that?! [Daily News]
  
  
• Kelly Bensimon showed up late to a book party for Hollywood lip monster Lisa Rinna, slammed a martini, and then proceeded to flirt with every dude in the room. [Page Six]
  
  
• Katherine Heigl got dropped from some shitty romantic comedy because she was demanding a ridiculous salary and a personal ass-wiper in her trailer or something. [Page Six]
  
  
• Tori Spelling went to the beach over the Memorial Day holiday and frightened the hell out of everyone with her freakish, destroyed by plastic surgery Frankenstein body. [DListed]
  
  
• Rapper T.I., obviously thinking that he could do whatever he liked, showed up late when he was supposed to report to prison to begin a jail sentence.[Daily News]
  
  
• Mariah Carey has fired her poor hair dresser because he just couldn't figure out how to make her horrible wigs and weaves look like real human hair or something. [Page Six]
  
  
• Paris Hilton showed up at some club in London and turned down a free bottle of champagne because "we only do shots." Yeah. [UK Mirror]
  
  
• Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima is pregnant for her husband, some shitty basketball player for the Memphis Grizzlies. [UK Sun]
  
  
• James Brown's family is about to kill each other over control of his estate. [EOnline]