Glee "star" Naya Rivera posted a straight-up rude comment on Kim Kardashian's Instagram of her bare-ass Paper cover on Tuesday. She is not sorry for that comment.

At the Nets-Mavericks game, Kim Kardashian met Snooki. What did they talk about? By bribing an imaginary eavesdropper with a wizard hat of doubloons, we acquired an exclusive fictional transcript of the conversation.

Kelly Ripa getting a hot dog with son Joaquin ... Karolina Kurkova walking in Tribeca with fiance Archie Drury ... Agyness Deyn riding her bike to Bar Pitti ... Bar Refaeli walking near Bryant Park ... Kate Gosselin arriving at her hotel ... Shia LaBeouf riding a motorcycle while filming scenes for Wall Street 2 on…

• Mischa Barton didn't get involuntarily committed to the psychiatric wing of Cedars-Sinai last month because she had a meltdown. Or a drug problem. She says it was because she had her wisdom teeth removed. Sounds plausible! [TONY]
• Speaking of lame excuses, remember how Jeremy Piven said he had to drop out of …

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad…

Melanie Griffith's drying out, an Amy Winehouse love letter sparks a lawsuit and Robin Williams may channel Susan Boyle. That — and more — in your Tuesday morning Gossip Roundup. Delicious!

• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to …

In case you're wondering what ever happened to publicist not-so-extraordinaire Jonathan Cheban since the glory days of 2005 when he could be seen posing for photographs holding two phones in his hands at once, the answer was revealed on E! last night. (If you don't know who Cheban is and you'd like to get up to…

Our effort to catch up on the glamorous life of party boy celebutard flack Jonathan Cheban has yielded an entertaining nugget! In June, Jacob Arabov (pictured)-a.k.a. Jacob the Jeweler, the "King of Bling" and go-to jewelry maker for rappers and celebrities of all stripes-submitted a memorandum to the judge in his …

Sometimes you have to make an effort to reinstate communications with (or in our case, about) old friends who you haven't spoken to in a while. We used to write regularly about the travails of Jonathan Cheban: party boy flack, designer, and former Access Hollywood correspondent and Lizzie Grubman partner. But we've…

Flak-cum-designer Jonathan Cheban is throwing a party in Miami for his upcoming 32nd birthday. Could he really be encouraging guests to buy gifts off a list? The unconfirmed rumor: that Cheban, a friend of B-list celebrities like Nicole Richie, is registered at Barney's. Undying gratitude to anyone who can send us a…

While you spent your weekend in the city's apocalyptic heat, watching the polish melt right off your toenails, the pretty people of higher tax brackets were flitting about the Hamptons, mingling with cryogenically preserved old bags by day and skanking about Hamptons-outpost versions of Manhattan's best cheese…

• Red-carpet watchers spend far too long studying pictures of TomKat and conclude that Cruise has started wearing lifts too appear less Lilliputian. Developing... [Lowdown]
• And in other TomKat news, did the Church of Scientology buy $9,000 worth of tickets for their messiah's premiere of MI:3? If so, it certainly…

• The UK Observer argues that Rolling Stone is once again the anti-establishment bible, "giving a new lease of life" to editor/publisher Jann Wenner. If so, could the mag once and for all stop pretending it has anything to do with music? Just cut that painful shit loose, please. [Observer UK]
• NB to Tom Cruise:…

• Chanel gave Reese Witherspoon her dress for the Golden Globes, telling her it was vintage. In this case, "vintage" means "merely three years old and previously worn by Kirsten Dunst." Even worse, the dress was seriously NOT that cute. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is so clean and sober that she was seen dancing…

Breaking (or, er, broken): Publicist Lizzie Grubman and the little climber that could, Jonathan Cheban, have euthanized their Grubman-Cheban PR project and parted ways. This is only mildly surprising, given the buzz that Her Grubness was less than thrilled to find that Cheban, who doubles as an Access Hollywood…

Behold publicist Jonathan Cheban in his latest incarnation: Access Hollywood correspondent! Congrats on the new gig, good lad, but what about your old job as Lizzie Grubman's partner?

Wherein we ask our favorite media folk what they're thankful for this year. Says perma-flack Lizzie Grubman:

"I want you to want me." (Click to enlarge, see Paris Hilton's lazy eye.)