Chris, the delightfully flamboyant and marginally talented costume designer who resembles nothing more than an huger Nathan Lane in La Cage Aux Folles, got kicked off last night because, well, he has the taste of Nathan Lane in La Cage Aux Folles. But it was close!

The contestants had to split into themes and create a collection based on outdated trends that were profiled in Elle. Trends like shoulder pads, zoot suits, dancewear, cut outs, neon, and fringe. Which reminds us, fringe was fucking awesome. Also: bike shorts, slap bracelets, those ghetto Looney Tune t-shirts, Reebok Pumps, Umbros, Hypercolor t-shirts, Bo Knows, Z. Cavaricci's, Pepsi Clear and that weird drink Orbitz. All awesome. But beyond a trip down memory lane (seriously, FRINGE!) last night's episode was a dramatic roller coaster made out of satin and tears.

That piranha-seeming poor gay guy with the mesh hat almost got kicked off, which would have been ideal because he is THE WORST! He can't sew. He has no taste. He whines. He cries. The only thing that saved him was that that cute bitchy and bossy Asian woman defied his vision and made her own outfit even though he was team leader.

Also Donna Karan? She was a judge and she looks HORRIBLE! I mean trashy and off and weird and scary horrible, not like, "ooh, darling, you look HORRIBLE!" horrible. Michael Kors looks orange and also ill. That 21-year-old Gehry-haired dude named Christian is getting reallllly annoying.

But our biggest heartbreak occurred after the show. As we were preparing to write this, we visited Bravo's website (never go there). This is what we saw: Gah! Proj Run's Jack is fucking Top Chef's icky Dale? Fuck! And Jack is so sweet too. Also, maybe he's leaving next episode.

The challenge was to create an outfit for a dude. The dude was Tiki Barber, who does something having to do with football but more importantly is a "correspondent" on the Today Show, which explains why every other phrase was "Today Show." Like, Tim Gunn: Make it work...on the Today Show. Asians are fierce... on the Today Show. All the contestants failed miserably; that annoying Latino guy who always cries, cried.

I mean, I guess my main truck isn't with the judges: Michael Kors (though I walked by his new store where Jerry's used to be in Soho and felt the urge to spit/pee on the windows) or Heidi Klum or Tiki or even Nina "Dragonball Z" Garcia. It's with Carmen herself. Why do the pretty girls make grave errors in judgment? Carmen didn't even make a shirt.

So what do we have left? Who the fuck knows? Sweet P can't last much longer. Ditto that gay guy with the Jewy name who looks like Sylar from Heroes. Watching that crazy girl with the grass stains and the yoga is like watching a car full of clowns crashing into a castle made of Jello which would be funny except one of the lead clowns actually ended up being allergic to gelatin and so began to suffocate which would be funny for a while and then just sad. Which in a nutshell is my assessment of this season's ProRu. Wake me up when the fat gay guy and the skinny gay fight and/or make love. That I want to watch.

So how does the magical world of Bella Sara work?

Each card comes with a code that can be entered on a Web site, unlocking a horse's stable, but each code can be activated only once — meaning the cards are meant more for collecting and less for trading. (Girls can use a computer mouse to clean the horse's living quarters and feed it hay, but they can't trade horses with their friends.)

With Ponies, Unicorns and Secret Codes, an Effort to Unleash a Craze for Girls [NYT]