The Jolie-Pitt brood begins school in a fortress of solitude in Budapest. Jennifer Aniston is the world's most eligible single lady. Chelsea Handler goes on a date with 50 Cent. Tuesday gossip is ready to mingle.

Copying Ashley Dupre is officially a valid career path. Did Jonathan Rhys Meyer use the n-word? A Food Network star hires homeless guys to kill his wife. Woody Allen defends Roman Polanski. Monday gossip has many vices.

The Olsen twins have sworn off partying. Lindsay Lohan throws a drink at a hockey player. Claudia Schiffer gives birth. Is Justin Bieber dating Miley Cyrus? Shaq attack! Sunday's Gossip Roundup is no junk shot.

Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.

Tiger Woods just held his first "real" press conference since the lady-fucking scandal broke. He is happy to be back and playing golf! But wait, a porn star says he is a "big fat liar." Exciting day in golf news!

One is a Cambridge-educated starlet. The other is an "ink-stained hellcat" who kissed and told. Tabloid coincidence and famous actresses' husbands bring them together. Alec Baldwin gets in a homophobic/homoerotic war of words. Thursday gossip is full of surprises.

Carey Mulligan won't let Shia drink. Russell Simmons lets slip he's got a huge dick. Mo'Nique acts like a diva. Mariah Carey acts like her spanx has cut off circulation to her brain. Sunday gossip has Oscars fever.

Brad goes out of town and Angie flies into a depressive rage, Madonna's face is bloated (with restylane?), Anne Hathaway is in a car crash with a stylish cyclist. Thursday's gossip is full of peril.

From sports drinks to action figures, Tiger was once an industry unto himself. The Tiger Woods economy may have crashed, but in its place we now have the Tiger's woodies economy, repackaging and selling the women who turned him on.