JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, who was paid $20 million last year, acknowledged today that “income inequality has kind of gotten worse” in the past 20 years, but said that inequality is mitigated by the fact that “20 years ago... People didn’t have iPhones.”

JPMorgan Chase will reportedly pay at least $125 million to settle state and federal investigations into illegal debt collection methods. Compared to some of the other stuff they’ve done lately, that’s not bad! Give Jamie Dimon another raise.

Jamie Dimon, who has overseen both a large increase in the stock price of JPMorgan Chase and the bank’s transition into a criminal enterprise, is now officially a billionaire. We wish him all of the future success that he deserves.

Laura Dimon is Jamie Dimon's daughter, see.

New York mayor Bill De Blasio says JPMorgan Chase's request for $1 billion in public subsidies for its new Manhattan headquarters is "a nonstarter." He said nothing about arresting Jamie Dimon for having the temerity to even ask. De Blasio's revolutionary credentials remain an undecided topic.

JPMorgan Chase asking for lavish public subsidies to build its new high rise towers in Manhattan just goes to show why such subsidies should be banned, and also why JPMorgan Chase is not all that popular, in general.

JPMorgan's profit fell by 19% in the first quarter of this year, despite the fact that they just gave their CEO a raise, which should have fixed everything.

Two thousand JPMorgan employees will soon be moving into Brooklyn. Brooklyn just, uh, keeps getting cooler.

Billions of dollars of legal costs related to endless findings of wrongdoing cost JPMorgan Chase only 27 cents per share in the fourth quarter. The company's profits fell to a mere $5.28 billion in the past three months. The bank is no doubt severely chastened by the serious consequences for its misdeeds.

JPMorgan has agreed to pay a settlement of $2.6 billion for charges related to the bank's failure to stop Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme. In the past two years, the bank has paid close to $30 billion in legal settlements. That number is smaller than JPMorgan's profits, so Jamie Dimon will never get fired.

Six weeks after CNBC's Maria Bartiromo scoffed at Alex Pareene for attempting to discuss JPMorgan's shady dealings in China, the New York Times again reports that U.S. officials are scrutinizing JPMorgan to ascertain "whether the bank swapped contracts and jobs for business deals with state-owned Chinese companies."

"A former JPMorgan Chase banker who managed Bernard Madoff's account said the con man was on track to receive a $200 million loan less than a month before his arrest." Whoops.

Federal prosecutors are reportedly seeking a guilty plea on "at least a single criminal charge" from JPMorgan in relation to allegations that the bank purposely turned a blind eye to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme.