Gawker: juvenile humor

Steve Jobs and the Journal's Frightful Ad Placement

Ryan Tate — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:57:51 EDT

Steve Jobs "appeared thin and spoke with a scratchy voice" on his return from medical leave, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday. Apparently we had no idea!

We're guessing that whoever arranged to place an ad for Halloween skeletons next to a picture of Apple's famously a gaunt CEO (click above image to enlarge) is already fired, or perhaps just severely spanked. Still, good luck getting Jobs to return to speak at your next lucrative D conference, Journal guys! (Maybe if you promise him it won't be a bare-bones affair...)

Hat-tip to iPhone Savior, which first posted this. PDF via WSJ.com.

Currently Ranking No. 3 in Twitter Trends

Gabriel Snyder — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:55:23 EDT

Everything wrong with Twitter: "Tila Tequila has instructed all her followers to tweet #farts today."

Halsey Minor Having Trouble 'Getting It Up'

Ryan Tate — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:03:29 EDT

Halsey Minor's failed recent investments include the Landmark Hotel in Charlottesville, Virginia, whose construction stalled. "I'll get it up," the CNET founder promised in the fall, but it seems locals got tired of waiting: The construction site was just plastered with copies of the phallic sign above, reports cVillain.com.

Anderson Cooper Eagerly Shares His Teabagging Knowledge

Ryan Tate — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:30:44 EDT

It's about time: Anderson Cooper finally weighed in this whole teabagging phenomenon. The dashing CNN anchor seems surprisingly well versed!

Not that Bill Clinton's former political adviser David Gergen appreciated it on Cooper's show today. Gergen was all, "blah blah blah serious serious tactical political discussion, blah blah blah."

But then he made a comment about how Barack Obama's polling on economic issues is "extremely high — and everyone else in the administration is below him." Heh. "But the Republicans are a little below that." HA!

"They're searching for their voice."

Oh, now you're just begging for Anderson to lower the perfect punchline into place. And he does.

Teabagging humor simply will not die. At least not until every other TV personality takes his lumps and swallows the fact that AC360 rightfully owns this teabagging thing.

(Video via BuzzNewsroom)

Best of Rachel Maddow's 'Teabagging' Jokes

Ryan Tate — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 06:55:13 EDT

OK, Rachel Maddow is officially the last person in the world allowed to joke about the dumbly-named Republican Teabagging parties, as the MSNBC host did last night, at great length.

With all the chuckling over the inadvertently appropriated term, it's starting to feel like "teabagging" is being, well, shoved down our throats. And who wants that? It's suffocating, really.

The humor, in the end, has ended up like a tea bag that steeped too long: All the flavors drained out and we're left with something rather limp, rather than the spicy libation we were hoping to gulp down.

You'll find a highlights reel above, featuring a ballsy take on the issue from Maddow and Daily Beast columnist Ana Marie Cox. You can get your full-length teabagging experience from the same place we obtained ours, Jason Linkins. (Thanks for that, Jason.)

Michael Phelps To Teach CEOs About 'High' Performance

Ryan Tate — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:21:11 EST

Michael Phelps will be in distinguished company at the World Business Forum, joining Jack Welch, T. Boone Pickens and George Lucas at Radio City Music Hall. Phelps' lecture? How to "relax."

The Olympian bong-sucker is touted in a brochure emailed to business executives as teaching lessons in how to achieve "HIGH PERFORMANCE." Heh. Here's how:

Prepare relentlessly, follow your discipline rigorously — and relax.

Phelps can offer some quality Do's and Dont's on how to relax, we'd imagine. "High" performance is a topic he might want to avoid, though. Maybe go with "Top" performance in the future, Mike.

Organizers of the forum might want to offer their own seminar on public relations: They prominently omit Phelps from Web pages listing top speakers at the event, apparently mentioning him only in the physical brochure. Given Phelps' likely-sky-high fee, that's not some random oversight.

(Thanks to the business tipster who emailed us the scan above, taken from the brochure.)