I remembered shooting rockets made of coconut leaves off the rooftop terrace, and watching the beady-eyed green-and-yellow lizards that scuttled over the putty-colored walls after a hard rain. I remembered cold baths from a bucket with a plastic dipper, and sweet, oily badam halva from the nearby Chola hotel.

Oh, but by now you are tired of all this looking, and you want to reach your destination—your hotel, your room. You long to refresh yourself; you long to eat some nice lobster, some nice local food. You take a bath, you brush your teeth.

Opal Mehta:

I never thought I would say this, but I was worried about my parents. They had officially lost it.

We were never to trust each other. This was like a motto repeated to us by out parents...

You get the idea—it's a game for players of all ages! Whoever finds the next real plagiarism wins. Oh, schandafreunde chasing entitlement chasing schandafreunde: the gift that keeps on giving. —Jon

If you've been paying attention to Gawker this year, you should recognize most of the names on this list. (We've given you a little preview at right. We'd never leave the Tinz off our list!) They're the people who've distracted you, intrigued you, and sickened you (often all at the same time!) in 2006. If you've fallen behind, consider this our New Year's gift to you. We're feeling magnanimous.

Without further ado, the list of Gawker's Personalities of the Year, in no particular order, after the jump.

• Judith Regan: The publisher of her eponymous imprint ReganBooks continued her reign of provocation most of the year, but almost no one could've anticipated her swift, sudden, unceremonious fall from grace. We thank her for injecting a possibly unprecedented degree of insanity and unpredictability into the normally staid publishing industry, and hope that she resurfaces soon, anti-Semitism and all.
  
• Tinsley Mortimer: Ah, the Tinz. What do you say about a 31-year-old socialite known for a "handbag line" and her seemingly endless proclivities for partying? Oh, and giving one of the more retarded interviews to the Post in recent memory. For 2007, we hope she and Topper finally call it quits, if only because seeing her officially single would be amazing.
  
• Derek Blasberg: Total fashion fag and socialite hanger-on (we refuse to use the word "walker"), and one of our more recent obsessions, male socialite Blasberg, joined at the hip with black socialite Genevieve Jones (see below), has managed to parlay a stint at Vogue and some freelance writing into Page Six mentions and having Lindsay Lohan at his birthday parties.
  
• Genevieve Jones: There's something different about Genevieve Jones, don'tcha know? The Baton Rouge native, who has no job and no discernible source of income, has insinuated her way into the upper echelons of New York society, and might be behind Socialite Rank. Then again, she might not. Then again again, does anyone really care?
  
• Alex Kuczynski: After the publication of her memoir-slash-cautionary plastic surgery tale Beauty Junkies, Alex K. was everywhere—ev-er-y-where—waxing poetic about her own beauty and everyone else's comparative ugliness. We continue to be amazed that the Times allows her off-leash in their pages. Then again, it's Thursgay Styles, and they'll publish anything.
  
• Julia Allison: The latest in a long line of women who've landed in New York determined to Make a Splash, Allison has flirted and blogged her way to ... what, exactly? Well, she goes to a lot of parties, and she gets photographed a lot. Also, we hear she reportedly writes a dating column for one of those free papers. Anyone heard anything about that?
  
• Aleksey Vayner: The enterprising Yale senior with the ridiculously inflated (some might say pathological) sense of self, whose resume-video was the resume-video heard 'round the world. Also known for being the charter member of the Douchebag Hall of Fame.
  
• Jared Kushner: What do you do when you're 25, your father's just been let out of jail, and you've got a spare couple billion lying around? First, you buy the New York Observer in what some have called a fire sale. Then you buy the most expensive building in the history of the United States. Then you give interviews to various press outlets that imply that you can't wait to be the next Mort Zuckerman. A fine goal, indeed.
  
• Jared Paul Stern: The gossipmonger got busted by Ron Burkle and his wiretap, but nary a peep about the lawsuit has been heard in quite some time. In the meantime, Stern sold his book, Stern Measures, for somewhere in the six-figure range. Oh, and also, we let him take over the site for a weekend. Oops.
  
• Marisha Pessl: Marisha! Book hot, stage hot, TV hot, blog hot—who cares? All we know is that as long as the Special Topics in Calamity Physics author continues her reign of unfiltered bon mots, we'll have lots of fodder.
  
• Lloyd Grove: We continue to be amazed that someone so bland was ever taken seriously as a gossiper. Now that his "multimedia" opportunity appears to have fizzled, we fully expect him to have a column in Thursgay Styles.
  
• MisShapes: Where would we be without Leigh, Greg, and Geordon to make us feel fat and unstylish every day of our lives? We'd probably be doing a lot more drugs, that's where.
  
• Kaavya Viswanathan: Harvard's poster child for plagiarism has picked herself up and dusted herself off, surfacing at various Harvard parties and in a women-in-business networking and philanthropic group. We foresee law and/or business school in her future. Maybe she and Aleksey will cross paths someday.

  [Image via]

• A side-by-side comparison of the plagiaristic transgressions of Ian McEwan and Kaavya Viswanathan. [ReadySteadyGo]
  
• The Catholic League goes all Bill O'Reilly on our holiday asses in an ad on the NYT op-ed page. [Catholic League]
  
• GQ names Pam and Kid Rock newlyweds of the year. Oops. [GQ]
  
• The real original fake writer tries fashion designing on for size. [Daily Intelligencer]
  

Hmm, from what possible recent scandal does that name ring a bell?

Because they had never applied to an American educational institution, they hired Katherine Cohen, founder of IvyWise, a private counseling service, and author of "Rock Hard Apps: How to Write the Killer College Application." At the time IvyWise charged $10,000 to $20,000 for two years of college preparation services, spread over a student's junior and senior years. But they did have limits. "I don't think she did our platinum package, which is now over $30,000," Ms. Cohen said of Ms. Viswanathan. Ms. Cohen helped open doors other than Harvard's. After reading some of Ms. Viswanathan's writing (she had completed a several-hundred-page novel about Irish history while in high school, naturally), Ms. Cohen put her in touch with the William Morris Agency, which represents Ms. Cohen. Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, who is now Ms. Viswanathan's agent, sold the novel that eventually became "Opal" to Little, Brown on the basis of four chapters and an outline as part of a two-book deal.

The Swarm of the College Super-Applicants [NYMag]
Kaavya Viswanathan's Chick-Lit Novel: How To Get into College By Really, Really Trying [NYT]
Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan

Crimson Cartoonist's Work Bears Similarity to Others' [Harvard Crimson]

EXCLUSIVE: She's Baaaaack! Kaavya's First Post-Plagiarism Writing [IvyGate]

Kaavya Viswanathan ’08, embroiled in a plagariasm controversy over a novel last spring, was appointed a freshman peer adviser before that news broke; she will apparently serve in a capacity not involving direct advising.

Keeping Kaavya away the little ones — it's part of Harvard's freshman outreach program.

Brevia [Harvard Magazine]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Kaavya

She's reviewing a book by an organization to which she belongs and the best she can do is "truly a strength network for women?" Jesus. Maybe we'd all be better off if we just let her plagiarize and looked the other way.

More Than 85 Broads review [Amazon]

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan

85 Broads interns Alexa Von Tobel, Kaayva Viswanathan, Danielle Synder, and Monique Yashaya from Harvard, Vanderbilt, and Princeton are flying to Nairobi and Lwala, Kenya to shoot a documentary aimed at raising awareness of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa.

Can it be? Is notorious plagiarist Kaavya Viswanathan really heading to Africa? How might that continent inspire her creative talents? After the jump, we've got an exclusive: a new Kaavya short story.

THE MARVELLOUS THING IS THAT IT'S painless," she said. "That's how you know when it starts."

"Is it really?"

"Absolutely. I'm awfully sorry about the odor though. That must bother you."

"Don't! Please don't."

"Look at them," she said. "Now is it sight or is it scent that brings them like that?"

The cot the woman lay on was in the wide shade of a mimosa tree and as she looked out past the shade onto the glare of the plain there were three of the big birds squatted obscenely, while in the sky a dozen more sailed, making quick-moving shadows as they passed.

"They've been there since the day the truck broke down," she said. "Today's the first time any have lit on the ground. I watched the way they sailed very carefully at first in case I ever wanted to use them in a story. That's funny now."

"I wish you wouldn't," he said.

"I'm only talking," she said. "It's much easier if I talk. But I don't want to bother you."

"You know it doesn't bother me," he said. "It's that I've gotten so very nervous not being able to do anything. I think we might make it as easy as we can until the plane comes."

"Or until the plane doesn't come."

"I'm only talking," he said. "It's much easier if I talk. But I don't want to bother you."

"Please tell me what I can do. There must be something I can do."

"You can take the leg off and that might stop it, though I doubt it. Or you can shoot me. You're a good shot now. I taught you to shoot, didn't I?"

"Please don't talk that way. Couldn't I read to you?"

"Read what?"

"Anything in the book that we haven't read."

"I can't listen to it," she said." Talking is the easiest. We quarrel and that makes the time pass."

"What about a drink?"

"It's supposed to be bad for you. It said in Black's to avoid all alcohol.You shouldn't drink."

"Molo!" she shouted.

"Yes Bwana."

"Bring whiskey-soda."

"Yes Bwana."

"You shouldn't," he said. "That's what I mean by giving up. It says it's bad for you. I know it's bad for you."

"No," she said. "It's good for me."

So now it was all over, she thought. So now she would never have a chance to finish it. So this was the way it ended, in a bickering over a drink. Since the gangrene started in her right leg he had no pain and with the pain the horror had gone and all she felt now was a great tiredness and anger that this was the end of it. For this, that now was coming, she had very little curiosity.

For years it had obsessed her; but now it meant nothing in itself. It was strange how easy being tired enough made it.

Now she would never copy the things that he had saved to copy until she knew enough to copy them well. Well, she would not have to fail at trying to copy them either. Maybe you could never copy them, and that was why you put them off and delayed the starting. Well she would never know, now.

Then he called out to her.

There was no answer and he could not hear her breathing.

Outside the tent the hyena made the same strange noise that had awakened him. But he did not hear him for the beating of his heart.

85 Broads [85 Broads]

CHILDREN'S: YOUNG ADULT
Jamie Michaels's KISS MY BOOK, story of a teen writing sensation who gets caught plagiarizing her debut novel, but finds redemption and romance when she escapes to a small town, to Krista Marino at Delacorte, by Michael Bourret at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management (World).

Surely DreamWorks is considering optioning this, if only to get back at Viswanathan for screwing them over the first time. No studio exec is above exacting revenge on a teenager. Now, does anyone know who reps that Bend It Like Beckham girl?

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Kaavya

The passage that Viswanathan chose just happened to be one of her cribbed bits containing language taken from The Princess Diaries. Specifically, she read aloud, "Every inch of me had been cut, filed, steamed, exfoliated, polished, painted, or moisturized. I didn't look a thing like Opal Mehta..." (The Diaries passage reads, "There isn't a single inch of me that hasn't been pinched, cut, filed, painted, sloughed, blown dry, or moisturized. [...] Because I don't look a thing like Mia Thermopolis...") Who knew morning A&E was full of such high comedy?

A reader reports on the interview:

BWA:...the youngest to ever be assigned to a two-book deal for half a million dollars. True or false?
Kaavya: [stupid smirk] No comment.

BWA: Do you want to go into writing, you think?
K: I think eventually, I'd love to go into writing, but I don't really see writing as a full time job for me. It's something that I would do no matter what I was also working at in my day to day career. So I think why not have both?

BWA: How did you actually find the time to write this book?
K: It was a huge time commitment!

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan

We won't bother with all 79 plagiarized passages (do go see for yourself), but here's a start:

The Parlourmaid's Tale, or, MS in a Dustbin
by Bonnie Furlong

Sorry for the plagiarism, but there seemed no other way.¹

Dear Macmillan:²

What I want is³ a suave and worldly editor⁴ who can puff away dusty speculation to reveal stark, cold, obsidian and alabaster truth.⁵ The story between these covers is the second I have resuscitated from the bottom of a tin trunk that I received anonymously some years ago.⁶ These literally are manuscripts, handwritten on⁷ flyleaves of books, match folders, old letters⁸ — rather hastily written and much damaged.⁹ The validity of this very ancient account is almost totally dubious,¹⁰ but it's absolute dynamite.¹¹ A careful reading, I beg of you, a careful reading in private, careful editing, and then find a typist.¹²

The odd array of footnotes after the jump.

¹Davies, Robertson. High Spirits: A Collection of Ghost Stories. New York: Penguin Books, 1982. Page 33.

²Nowell-Smith, Simon. Letters to Macmillan. Ed. New York: Macmillan, 1967. Page 40.

³Thurber, James. The Years With Ross. Boston, Toronto: Little, Brown and Company, 1959. Page 5.

⁴Thurber, James. The Years With Ross. Boston, Toronto: Little, Brown and Company, 1959. Page 123.

⁵Phillips, Arthur. The Egyptologist. New York: Random House, 2004. Page 5.

⁶King, Laurie R. A Monstrous Regiment of Women. New York: Bantam Books, 1997. Page: Editor's preface.

⁷King, Laurie R. A Monstrous Regiment of Women. New York: Bantam Books, 1997. Page: Editor's preface.

⁸Rogers, Ann. The New Cookbook for Poor Poets and Others. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1979. Page 7.

⁹Tolkien, J.R.R. The Fellowship of the Ring. New York: Ballantine Books, 1965. Page 418.

¹⁰McKee, Richard. The Clan of the Flapdragon and Other Adventures in Etymology by B.M.W. Schrapnel, Ph.D. Tuscaloosa and London: The University of Alabama Press, 1997. Page 14.

¹¹Nowell-Smith, Simon. Letters to Macmillan. Ed. New York: Macmillan, 1967. Page 349.

¹²Phillips, Arthur. The Egyptologist. New York: Random House, 2004. Page 6.

Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta Contest [TMN]
Earlier: You Know You're a Better Cheat Than Kaavya

I saw her at a cinco de mayo party at 44 jfk on friday night. My friend was a little drunk and was shouting about Salman Rushdie. She did not look pleased. Another friend later found her in a more secluded room smoking and told her that "smoking kills."

Oh, come on! Leave the poor girl alone. Smoking and drinking are the only ways she can numb the pain — that is, until she gets hooked on H.

Earlier: Gawker's Unrelenting Coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan