Robert Pattinson Hates New York and Its Women

Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out. More »

Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford Are Not Dead Yet

Rumors of the Goldblum/Ford deaths were greatly exaggerated, David Gregory throws a hissy over Joe Scarborough, Kate Gosselin sports a bikini in the driveway, Kim Kardashian lusts for Megan Fox and Chris Brown and Rihanna want to touch. More »

Aaden Gosselin Is Not Meaty Enough To Sate The Ratings Deities

A child of Jon and Kate Gosselin is injured after an unsuccessful sacrificial offering to Nielsen gods by TLC. Madonna's child caper! Susan Boyle: distraught. Harry Potter and Radiohead? Yeezey's girlfriend! Presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup. Happy Father's Day! More »

Paris Hilton's Tainted Goods Are Back on the Market

Paris Hilton dumps her toolish boyfriend, Shia LaBeouf issues a statement to let everyone know he's not boning his mother, Victoria Beckham's nipples tour London, Jessica Alba is under investigation for vandalism, and Jeremy Piven preaches about mercury poisoning. More »

Heidi and Spencer Are Celebrities Dangit, So Get Them Out of There!

Spencer and Heidi implode on the set of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Madonna and Kate Hudson kinda almost get into a catfight, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter is charged in an infant's death, and Lori Petty spent the weekend in the slammer after getting arrested for DUI. More »

Chace Crawford Hooks Up in The Hamptons With Swimsuit Models

Chace Crawford has a new swimsuit model love interest, Susan Boyle freaks out in a fit of rage on strangers and cops in London, Jon and Kate are manipulating their kids, Rihanna will get virtually naked in a new Kanye video, and Anna Wintour wants to be ambassador to Britain. More »

Kanye West Doesn't Read, Only Co-Writes Crap Books

Despite being the son of an English professor, maniacal all-caps blogger Kanye West claims he's a "proud non-reader," though he's co-written a book of "Kanye-isms" that he thinks you should totally read. It's 52 pages long, some of which are completely blank! More »

Will Kanye and Rihanna Be the Next Jay-Z and Beyonce?

Rihanna may be getting over Chris Brown by boning Kanye West, Jesus Luz puts Madonna in the "friend zone," Mike Tyson's 4 year-old daughter is on life support after accidentally hanging herself with an electric cord, and Brooke Shields expresses regret for not slutting around when she was young. More »

Paris Hilton is the Worst Neighbor in the World

Paris Hilton's neighbor offered her landlord money to throw her ass into the street, Mel Gibson has definitely knocked up his Russian girlfriend/mistress, and A-Rod is boning romantic comedy actress Kate Hudson. More »

Kanye West Does Not Have A F*#@ing Twitter, Okay!

Kanye West unleashed another all-caps maniacal diatribe on his blog today. What sort of gross injustice could have possibly sparked sufficient ire for him to launch into another fit of pissy prose? Twitter, naturally. More »

As Kanye Sees It

Download "Kanye Vision": Lets you browse the internet through shutter shades. Do it now. [F.A.T. via Animal NY]

Kanye West Overjoyed at Meaningless Award

Complex.com named Kanye West the Best-Dressed Rapper ever. And, I mean...he just, it's like..WOW, what can you say? Let him catch his breath...okay he's ready to thank you, all of you! More »

Internet Journalism At Its Finest

The 30 Best Kanye West Blingees. [BWE via goldenfidlr via Idolator]

Kanye West Forsakes the Douche Life

Animajapesters at South Park had a bit of fun at Kanye West's expense, but Kanye didn't get upset; he's taking this opportunity to examine himself. And he's decided to stop being a "HUGE DOUCHE"! More »

Kanye West Charged In Airport Attack

It's hard being a celebrity: James Franco is getting mobbed by fellow students at Columbia; presumably the coeds will never provoke from him the sort of battery Kanye West allegedly inflicted on his oglers. More »

Kanye West: 62nd and Central Park West

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] March 5 @ 4:30pm YELLING into his Bluetooth while walking to the Trump Hotel on CPW. More »

Kanye West's Image Consultant Will Shoot You Dead

Do not get it twisted, people: Kanye West's "personal barber and image consultant" Ibn Jasper will not hesitate to shoot you directly in the head with Glock 9. Now that he's back from Fashion Week. More »

Caroline Kennedy Going On SNL?

Starbucks jobs are now reserved for Yale grads; the rest of us have to try and obtain menial but absurd positions with Kanye West. More »

Kanye West Wonders if He Should Be Concerned That Mischa Barton Just Bit Him

[The rapper and the former actress at the Elie Saab Paris Fashion Week show; image via Getty]

Katie Holmes' Chemical Moment With Sean Penn

Everyone's experimenting with a new crowd: Katie Holmes hangs with the bad boys; Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try a new neighborhood and Gene Roddenberry's remains enter a whole other orbit. More »

Lindsay Lohan Attacked By Feral Cat

Or, you know, she's back on drugs or cutting or something. Her arms are all scratched up. She's tried to hide it with long sleeves, but people have still noticed. More »

Russian Oligarchs Hate Kanye West as Much as Hippies Do

What do you get when you mix the potent trends of Russian oligarchs buying pop stars for private concerts and Kanye West getting booed? The funnest New Year's Eve story of awful 2008! More »

Everything About Kanye West Is Exclusive

VIBE declares that its February Kanye West cover is "the only in-depth cover story interview granted to any major magazine surrounding the release of his controversial album, 808s & Heartbreak." But is it? More »

Britney Spears Has Her Children Spy on Their Dad's New Girlfriend

The War of the Roses continues, with pop sanger Britney Spears asking her two sons, Harmony Korine and Palookaville, to file weekly spy reports about her ex, Ferret Chancellor Kevin Federline. More »

Did Tina Fey's Fight With Alec Baldwin Actually Happen?

It wouldn't be Christmas Eve without fighting: Alec Baldwin supposedly slammed Tina Fey's body; Paris Hilton's uncle got attacked and robbed in his home and Nicole Kidman was haunted by Katie Holmes. More »

Kanye West Disastrously Sings Without Digital Enhancement

On SNL last night, Kanye West sounded disturbingly like a quiet man doing bad karaoke. Severe tech problems, or natural talent problems? Click to watch, listen, and judge.

Kanye West Follows Fellow Celebrities Into Fashion Internship

You may not know that Kanye West—the eclectic business mogul best known for his muppet shows, model wrangling, blogging, and MacBook stress-testing—is also a bit of a fashionista. He loves the clothes and whatnot! So much so that he wants to take time off from his other ventures and go intern in a fashion house. Celebrity fashion-related intern trend now officially official! More »

A-Rod's Two-Way Thanksgiving

• Alex's Rodriguez's people did their best to spread word he wasn't going to ditch his kids and ex-wife at Thanksgiving to see Madonna in New York, as had been previously rumored. After everyone duly printed the Yankees slugger would be in Miami with his family instead, it emerged Madonna would accompany Rodriguez to Miami, via private jet. Should make for interesting dinner conversation!
• Kanye West's "secret girl" is a supermodel he "hand-picked" for a video. We bet he did. [Sun]
• Law & Order is doing a Heath Ledger episode, except instead of an actor, the Ledger-like character will be a male model. He has sex and does drugs with a girl he meets at a club, and is found dead by his friends the next morning. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie is really, really, truly pregnant. In Touch means it this time you guys! [Mail]

Wintour Daughter 'Nervous' Abour Finding Journalism Work

• Anna Wintour's daughter Bee Shaffer, the aspiring journalist, is graduating from Columbia in May and is "really nervous about the fact nobody's hiring right now." If she gets desperate she could take one of those awful personal assistant jobs working for a magazine editor. (She won't get desperate.) [NYM]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are said divorcing after planeloads of drugs and "gross" sex games that can't even be described in News Of The World. [News Of The World]
• The Catholic Church forgave John Lennon for saying the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus" and that "Christianity will go." It now finds his songs totally groovy and far out! [Sunday Times]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay's purported seven-year mistress literally wrote the book on how to have an affair, and even appeared on Oprah to discuss it. Their latest tryst involved "three bottles of legal sex drugs." [Mail]
• Jon Peters, the film producer, faces jail time after allegedly failing to do community service work in connection with DUI charges. So he invited a dozen kids from the community-service program to his ranch, and for some reason the cops had to be called, and now no one's saying anything. [P6]
• After trying to argue that $7 million from a Bahrain sheik was a gift, Michael Jackson has wisely opted to settle out of court. [E!]

Michael Jackson: Secret Muslim?

• Michael Jackson is a secret Muslim who is actually called Mikaeel, meaning angel of Allah, after the pop star rejected the name "Mustafa," which means chosen one. In a few days Jackson will appear in London court, where an Arab sheikh is suing him for seriously breaching a multi-million-dollar contract. Related? Who knows. The headline? "The Way You Mecca Me Feel." [Sun]

More »

Kanye West Can't Trust MTV Like He Used To

• Kanye West is astounded by the lack of sober judgement and integrity in the MTV Video Music Awards. He thinks they're fixed! The cable network is shocked he would question the ethics of the "MTV Academy." [Sun]
• Jennifer Aniston told Oprah Winfrey that her relationship with Brad Pitt feels like it was "100 years ago" and she's totally happy for him and his wife, even though she's uncool. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may get engaged in Paris. They've supposedly planned it and everything. Which would mean they're already engaged, effectively, so even if this rumor is true, it's false. [Mirror]
• You won't believe it: An older rich guy left his longtime wife for a much younger woman! He's 68, the Other Woman is 28 and they ran into each other in line at Starbucks in New York. She's from the Midwest. [P6]
• HBO isn't unduly concerned it just signed a deal with a rocker who slept with 14- and 15-year-old groupies and wrote about it in his book. That's now what Red Hot Chili Pepper Anthony Kiedis's show is going to be about, so who cares. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie is still not pregnant. [UPI]
• Howard Stern's sidekick is signed up for another book, one day after publication of his other book. [R&M]

Writer Fights Times Censorship

"Based on all this information and research, hopefully you can stretch the standards to allow 'Bitchassness' to be printed." [Daily Intel]

40 Nude Models: Tacky?

Well Kanye West, we've got to give it to you. In the past we've mocked you for your blog, your anti-hippie rants, your comical self-importance, and your muppet show. But that was before you filled a room with dozens of nude women as a backdrop for your record release party. Critics who enjoy nude women loved it! Here's how these creative, out-of-the-box tactics worked for Kanye and his media friends—Nakedness below: More »

This Week In Tabloids: Aniston & Mayer Have Sex; Anorexic Stars Without Makeup

If it's Wednesday afternoon, this must be Midweek Madness, your weekly tabloid roundup source. Crappy covers this week, folks: Skinny stars, stars without makeup, Trista announcing her pregnancy, Jenny McCarthy talking about autism, and those kids from High School Musical. But we took the time to mine the mags for nuggets of gold. Intern Margaret assists as we dip our pan in the latest issues of Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

Hey Why Not?

Kanye West is teaming up with Comedy Central for a new show "described as hip hop meets the muppets." It was only a matter of time. [THR]

Kanye Is Magic

Once upon a time a guy said he was a ghostwriter for Kanye West's blog, which Kanye denied as outrageous. Yesterday Kanye West was arrested in LA. His blog: updated normally all day. Hm. [Animal]

'Go Kanye, Go Kanye, Go!': The Kanye Mutant Ninja Turtle Remix

Having been struck by how much Kanye West looked like a fearsome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle battling villainous paparazzi ninjutsus in his LAX arrest video—and then transported by a commenter via YouTube time machine back to our honey-sunlit childhoods, when Vanilla Ice dared to ask of the Caucasian hip-hop community, "Have you ever seen a turtle get dowwnnn?"—we were struck by inspiration. Moments later, Defamer video mixographer (with a minor in scratchology) Molly McAleer had composed a mixed-media masterwork, fusing the best of all pizza-loving, nunchuk-swirling worlds. Cowabunga, dudes! More »

Mutant Ninja Turtle Kanye West's Paparazzi Beatdown: The Video

As fearsome and adorable as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (his Gucci knapsack is his shell!), Kanye West showed little mercy today as he and a fellow attack-tortoise went about the business of destroying a variety of photographic equipment at the American Airlines check-in line at LAX. His reptilian vigilantism would ultimately get him arrested, but to us, he's just a hero on the half shell! PIZZZZZZZZA!!! [TMZ]

Kanye West Busily Scribbling Lyrics To 'Gangsta Grad School' Following LAX Arrest

TMZ is reporting that Most Awesomest Presence in the Universe Kanye West—who just wanted to board his flight (wait, he doesn't have his own jet?) and relax with some electronic Connect Four and freshly baked First Class chocolate chip cookies without being hounded by the vulturous media—has been arrested for felony vandalism at LAX following a dust-up with paparazzi: More »

Kanye West Arrested For Felony Vandalism

Crazy old Kanye West, the retiringly modest Best Rapper In the World Ever, has been arrested at LAX. It seems the college dropout said hoof! to some paparazzo's camera, smashing it to the floor like so many California dreams. Other than this being a curious example of an attention hog dissing attention, this isn't exactly shocking, given West's history of getting mad at people. Well, at least he didn't break a damn MacBook Air over some damn hippie's head. More »