Hark! Ye harbingers of consumer doom, the Kardashians, have released their 2011 Christmas card. Whereas last year's yuletide feat of airbrushed uncanny put viewers in a trance state, this year's card will make you go, "A-woooo-gah!" while pumping 3-D glasses back and forth in the airspace in front of your face. (Like…

Well now! It's highly-autotuned and incredibly repetitive, but we'll let you decide exactly how you feel about Kim's musical debut. Let's just say we think this song could be a follow-up to the Jersey Shore's Angelina and her musical debut.

Kacey Jordan fondly recalls the green crack pipe Charlie sucked before yesterday's hospitalization. Jesse James plans a trip to Israel. Katy Perry's diet "absolutely sucks." Leonardo DiCaprio whips his hair back and forth. TGIFriday gossip.

Rihanna and Nick Minaj battle for sexy dominance. Lindsay Lohan has dinner with Sam Ronson. Gwyneth Paltrow is Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' cousin. Monday gossip is full of coincidence.

Christina Aguilera liked to hook up with women while married to Jordan Bratman. Jon Gosselin wants his kids off TV. And exclusive Dina Lohan interview can be yours for just thousands of dollars. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a bottled genie.

Today at Gawker.TV, John Stamos drops by Entourage to play some ping pong, Kim Kardashian tells her sister Kourtney she's "like a single mom," Mad Men is back, and The Soup tears apart last week's news coverage about Lindsay Lohan.