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Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2

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gawkimo
06/14/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Anytime Lagerfeld opens his mouth, this photo should be published next to his words. Because it is so ay-vant gar-day.

[img.slate.com]
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unclevanya
06/15/09

@gawkimo: Good Lord...he's swallowed Carol Channing whole!
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DorothyMantooth
06/16/09

@gawkimo: He was so much less insufferable when he was fat.
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Wrapitup
06/14/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
I'm praying that this feud escalates until the only way to resolve it, and bring peace to a sad and frightened world, is a mud wrestling match.
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BookishLookish
06/14/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Look at that gorgeous thing! Even her damn toes are charming! She has too much intelligence and personality to schlep down a runway looking bored and jaded. You think it's so easy landing a guy like Seal, you try it, Miss Lagerfeld, you dried-up old prune.
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VoxPopuli
06/14/09

@BookishLookish: I know, but she's so fat! I can't see any of her ribs! It's like she eats food or something.
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unclevanya
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Can we get a countdown clock going for the time you can add "And Now He's Dead" to Lagerfeld's tags?

And now for something completely different:
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Rumpelstilskin
06/13/09

@unclevanya: That was such a fun experience, thank you. God almighty, we should do an episode on bad casting. Kaatherine Hepburn could only play Katherine Hepburn. Chanel is dust by now from all the turning.
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TableNine
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
oh Karl, go back from whence you came: [menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com]
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Rumpelstilskin
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Does anyone else think Karl is beginning to resemble Phil Spector?
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Phyllis Nefler
06/15/09

@Rumpelstilskin: No but Kanye West.
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Baroness
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Joop! ought to talk, he's had to sell off his art collection, but even Sotheby's couldn't auction off his 90's stench. (The DeLempickas were exquiz, though.) What's the German for Poorbittergay?

Klum never pretended to be anything but a commercial model. And has thrived above and beyond, good for her and her happy family with Seal.

Although I love the fact that the Katty Kaiser exists, dragging that dumb piece of wet toothy schnitzel Claudia into it is a laugh. I actually love the classic supermodels, yet Schiffer seems the dumbest, least imaginative and personality-free piece of shapely meat of that class. She always has the same dumb yet condescending look in every picture, if I'm meant to believe she's still working. Fuck her, I'll bet she's some Nazi skeletons in her family closet.

Give me Linda, but I'll take Heidi any day. Also, is this Jezebel? Whatever.
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Foster Kamer
06/13/09

@Baroness: Ha! Yes! That email was already written. Wait until I do the 'Vogue' piece. Srsly.

Also, FUCKING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. ARGH. Nothing is working today.
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Baroness
06/13/09

@Foster Kamer: Oh, please definitely do a Vogue piece. In this case, these are all personae known to the smarter (ducks) Gawker audience, and I enjoy talking trash about Claudia Schiffer without "slut shaming" coming up. Go to town, Foster.
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Rumpelstilskin
06/13/09

@Baroness: Baroness, I just hearted you though I hearted you last year...does Gawker remove hearts? Anyway, in Karl's favor he continually uses Linda for shows and she is one the penultimate models in my opinion, can wear anything. But Karl? ..... He's getting to be a bitter old queen.
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Baroness
06/13/09

@Rumpelstilskin: Oh Rumpely, terribly fond of you too. I just went off again on Karl above. But thank god Linda has some work, cocaine is expensive even though Christy told her that back in the day. Glad to have someone as smart as you who remembers when those girls were personalities. So fun.

Except Claudia. No personality at all, yet a Monaco pied-a-terre. Ugh, how gauche. A king's ransom to anyone who can come up with a single witty or interesting thing Miss Schiffer has ever said, except snottily looking down on the entire profession and sighing. Yes, I dislike her. I like models who collaborate with the gay photographer to make amazing images. That's Linda. Fuck spoilt girls like Claudia.

"AGYnessss! Oh, Agyness!!" Think of Auntie Mame speaking to Miss Gooch there, to underline how Miss Schiffer can gracefully retire.
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Rumpelstilskin
06/13/09

@Baroness: God bless, you, Baroness. Frauelin Schiffer, as I said elsewhere, is better used in a beer or Audi commercial.
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Looker
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Well, in his defense, Heidi really was sort of a blip in the high fashion world. I don't recall her every doing much runway at all. I remember seeing her only rarely in Vogue editorials and she never had an American Vogue cover from what I remember. She suddenly became very famous outside the fashion world and labeled a 'supermodel' by the mainstream media, but compared to someone like Claudia Schiffer, she didn't do nearly the same amount of high fashion runway or editorial work.
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Baroness
06/13/09

@Looker: Yep, she skipped leaving her life and fate up to the capricious whims of people like Lagerfeld and went straight to where the money and opportunities were. Not Paris. Don't blame her one bit, she was quite smart to do so.
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CaptainFantastic
06/13/09

@Looker: Isn't runway work like boot camp for aspiring supermodels? She skipped it. Good for her.
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Looker
06/13/09

@Baroness: @CaptainFantastic:
I certainly don't fault Heidi for skipping the Paris runways! My comment was by no means a criticism of her career choices. She is obviously a smart woman when it comes to her career and was lucky to hit the jackpot by snubbing the Paris crowd.

But if you are someone like Lagerfeld who prefers non-commercial models (and he is such a hypocrite--Claudia never changed her look, was very commercial and even Vogue got bored with her by the mid 90s), I can see what he means since Heidi didn't earn her 'street cred' by working Paris like most of the top models.
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Rumpelstilskin
06/13/09

@Looker: That Lagerfeld prefers Claudia Schiffer over Heidi is laughable. I have seen Claudia many times (a friend lived in her agent's apartment building on lower Madison) and she is a walking, talking, dirndl wearing beer maiden. And grins all the fucking time.
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CaptainFantastic
06/13/09

@Rumpelstilskin: Dirndl wearing beer maiden sounds like a good thing.
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Baroness
06/13/09

@Looker: I gotcha, i know what you mean. But isn't the Chanel blessing that Claudia received ..pretty rare? Like, Heidi wasn't waiting around for that. But I do see the snotty point Karl was trying to make: haute couture vs. commercial. And I love haute couture, models and all. But invoking Schiffer to bitch at Heidi makes him seem elderly and out of it. It was only under his own power at Chanel that Claudia mattered at all. He seems charmingly unaware of the passage of time, or that Claudia was an icy Teutonic bore to begin with. At best, Claudia might have been some use as Helmut Newton's fuck-toy.

That fembot has no space to criticize Heidi for her mass success. Karl hates happy domesticity and commercial success in America! Fuck you, Karl, you know you're doomed to die alone and probably deserve it. Yes, you've stabbed people in the back and cut people out your whole life- you've bragged of it- Karl must be a very lonely person.
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Phyllis Nefler
06/15/09

@Baroness: I agree that when it gets down to it he pretty much undermined his authority by dropping Claudia's name. Also has he even ever seen Project Runway? Heidi is perfect (as long as she's not saying something looks expensive), period.
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momof3wildkids
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
One other thing.. in my house it isn't considered an insult to have big boobs.
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sassypants
06/13/09

@momof3wildkids: Word. They earned the nickname "funbags" for a reason....
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momof3wildkids
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
I saw Seal at Foxwoods a couple years back. I liked his music well enough before that concert. Good stuff for when you are feeling mellow and I never found him attractive.

After that concert, I changed my mind. Craters and all, that guy has got to be the sexiest thing around. He made my heart go pitter patt -- Karl Lagerfeld you are a twit.
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katekate is squared
06/13/09

@momof3wildkids: Yeah, I'm meh on his music, but he's definitely attractive. Karl Lagerfeld looks like an aging version of something what would've been on Sprockets.
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katekate is squared
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Later, Lagerfeld added, "I believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow I come back and I cut off your johnson."
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bjonston
06/13/09

@katekate is squared: "Vee behleaf in nosink, Lebowski. Nosink! And tomchrow vee come back an cot offf your Johnson!"
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katekate is squared
06/13/09

@bjonston: You always know how to make my day better.
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mmstk101
06/13/09

In reply to Karl Lagerfeld vs. Heidi Klum: Round 2
Seal also said that he understood Karl's comments, because, you know we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.

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