The Princess and the Blog
Earlier today, a princess was granted a wish, and that wish was to blog. As it turns out, sometimes, if you truly believe in yourself, dreams really can come true.
Kate Middleton Debuts Royal Bangs
Kate Middleton has bangs, you guys. And they’re all over the place. Royals, they’re just like us. Minus that £1,245 Ralph Lauren shirtdress.
Royal Baby Named "Charlotte," Is Totally Such a Charlotte for Sure
Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday, and today the world finally learned her name.
Kate Middleton Gives Birth to Human Girl
Of all the babies that were born on Saturday—and there were several—one of the babies was a royal baby, which, as these things go, is a pretty good kind of baby to be. This particular royal baby was born to Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, and is a girl.
King and Queen Make Time to Greet Unemployed Fan, Her Balding Husband
Two British tourists received the thrill of a lifetime Monday night when they were allowed to interrupt Beyoncé and Jay Z's private conversation as the Carters took in a basketball game in Brooklyn.
Royal Baby 2 to Burst Out of Royal Uterus Next April, Blood Everywhere
The British royal family confirmed Monday that the chilling sequel to 2013's "Royal Baby" is scheduled to hit Britain in April of next year. Also Kate Middleton still can't stop throwing up. It's worth it, though, for her beautiful family.
Kate Middleton Is Pregnant With a New Royal Baby
Kensington Palace confirmed Monday that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting her second child, which the media are tentatively calling New Royal Baby. According to the official statement, the Duchess is once again experiencing Hyperemesis Gravidarum, the severe morning sickness that plagued her first pregnancy, and…
BOOMF: Kate Middleton's Brother Now Humble Marshmallow Salesman
Once upon a time the forebears of Kate Middleton's family were all coalminers, roadsweepers, and prisoners. Today, their descendants are princesses and marshmallow salesmen. The potential impact of a diet rich in Vitamin E on your family's fortunes cannot be overstated.
Telegraph Accidentally Calls Kate and William Dangerous Extremists
The Daily Telegraph ran a front-page story this morning about England's attempts to teach nursery-school kids "fundamental British values" to protect them from radical indoctrination. After all, you wouldn't want them to end up like the poor baby in the photo, pictured with two dangerous religious extremists.
Royal Family's Apartment Has Asbestos, Will Cost Only £4 Million to Fix
Kate Middleton and her double tufts of hair in body sacks, Prince William and porkpie Prince George, have been living in Medieval squalor at their Kensington Palace apartment. With no running water and tons of asbestos infiltrating their happy home, the repairs on the palace are reportedly going to cost UK taxpayers…
German Tabloid Risks WW3 by Publishing Kate Middleton Butt Photo
Catherine Middlebum, Duchess of Dayumbridge, future Queen of Assland, may have dressed a little formally for the beach during last month's royal tour of Australia, but a new photo published over the weekend in the German tabloid newspaper Bild suggests that anything goes on the helicopter pad.
Funky Fresh DJ Kate Middleton Adores Peplums, Tripping Balls
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had a lot of fun in Australia on Wednesday, lightly placing their fingers on records under the close supervision of a professional disc jockey. After being reassured several times they had not been party to criminal conduct, the royal couple likely returned to their hotel and made…
Kate Middleton's Royal Tour Journals: Day 17
A fly landed on my nose.
Kate Middleton's Royal Tour Journals: Day 8
This month, powerful baby Prince George performs his first official royal duty—an inspection of British penal colonies and their outlying areas—as he and his parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, spend three weeks traveling across Australia and New Zealand. During this time, Gawker.com will publish a selection…
Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, holds Prince George during a visit to Plunket nurse and parents group in Wellington, New Zealand, on Wednesday. Plunket is a nonprofit group that provides care for New Zealand children and families. Image via Marty Melville, Pool/AP.
Kate Middleton's Royal Tour Journals: Day 1
This month, powerful baby Prince George performs his first official royal duty—an inspection of British penal colonies and their outlying areas—as he and his parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, spend three weeks traveling across Australia and New Zealand. During this time, Gawker.com will publish a selection…
[Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, presents Domhnall the Irish Wolfhound with a shamrock during a visit to the 1st Battalion Irish Guards at the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Aldershot, England, on Monday. Image via Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP.]
Kate Middleton Denounces Satan in Exchange for Unpaid Job
Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, Countess of Strathearn, Earl of Grantham, Downton of Abbey, was made to formally reject the devil on Sunday, when she attended the christening of her new godchild.
Fly Girl Kate Middleton Attempts to Get Hair On Point at Somber Event
Kate Middleton is likely to be the first member of the British Royal Family since 1649 to be executed by beheading in the wake of public outcry after she was photographed twirling her hair and smiling at the national Remembrance Sunday ceremony in London.
