If Rupert Murdoch calls you "creepy, maybe even evil," you might have an image problem.

It looks like Katie Holmes was planning her escape from Tom Cruise in advance.

People magazine reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are ending their five-year marriage.

Bennifer 2.0 has a bun in the oven. Will and Jada Smith might be breaking up. Amy Winehouse's toxicology report is complete. Katie Holmes has a "cupcake emergency." Tuesday gossip struggles to avoid the Kardashians.

Cops bust Kim Kardashian's wedding, but let them eat butt plug cake. Jerry Seinfeld disses child fans. Kimberly Stewart births Benicio del Toro's baby. Chris Rock is a "divo." Monday gossip is black and white and read all over.

Reggie Bush texts Kim incessantly, begging her ditch Kris at the altar. George Clooney's female wrestler lover sleeps over. Angelina dodges rioters in London. Ali Lohan is officially more bankable than Lindsay. Wednesday gossip is the one that got away.

Prince William and Kate Middleton rub shoulders with normals. Katie Holmes barks like a dog. Samantha Ronson's mugshot is everything you hoped for. Paris Hilton and Brittny Gastineau have a party-off. Wednesday gossip keeps its toiletries in 3-oz. containers.

Here's a trailer for the comedy Jack and Jill, in which Adam Sandler plays both a man and his horrible twin sister. So... yeah. Al Pacino and Katie Holmes are in this too.

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 25th birthday without drunkenly embarrassing herself! Tom Cruise also celebrated a birthday—either his 49th or his 75 millionth, depending on whether you're counting human or Thetan years. Also: Tina Turner shot Randy Jackson, once! Sunday gossip is here.

Suri Cruise suffers for fashion. Lindsay Lohan shills electronic cigarettes. Angelina Jolie gets horny while talking about Brad Pitt. Tuesday gossip creates heel-shaped holes in the sand.

America's one-time favorite British person almost joined the cast of America's one-time favorite sitcom. A match made in sad heaven! Also today: news from Cannes, a bloody upfront scares us all, and of course Hunger Games casting news.

Lady Gaga breaks a nail and flips off a bunch of rich people. The royal wedding made Fergie feel "totally worthless." Heidi Montag warns that reality stardom is "hard." Wednesday gossip triumphs over adversity.

Miley Cyrus has her eye on the Governator's son. Prince bans Whitney Houston from his shows. Katie Holmes isn't pregnant. Rachel McAdams isn't engaged. Tuesday gossip needs a shoulder to cry on.

Katie Holmes' $50 million libel lawsuit against Star magazine has ended. In today's issue, Star apologized for a January story about how Tom Cruise and Scientology control Katie. Star says it "did not intend to suggest that Ms. Holmes was a drug addict or was undergoing treatment for a drug addiction." And Star's…

After dinner in New York last night, Tom Cruise was photographed doing which of the following? a) Quelling a tantrum in daughter Suri; b) Committing infanticide; c) Removing his daughter from a brass rod shish kebab (far left) so he can eat her for dessert; or d) Asking if he could borrow her pink Uggs tomorrow. [Radar

Judge Judy is hospitalized after a bizarre on-camera ramble. Vanilla Ice becomes a mime. Lindsay Lohan looks for an apartment in New York. Thursday gossip is in recovery.

J.Lo's beauty regimen solves unemployment. Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper break up. Elin Nordegren moves back to America. Tom Cruise gives Katie Holmes a sewing machine, so she can make aprons. Saturday gossip is high maintenance.

Joe Jonas' relationship is a charade. Suri Cruise plays with penis candies. Jodie Foster is desperately in love with Mel Gibson. Thursday gossip is living a lie.

Kim tithes to a church her mother founded with a wayward Rick Warren disciple. Countess LuAnn gets a job. Jennifer Aniston isn't adopting a baby. Jenna Jameson calls Chelsea Handler a "whore." Thursday gossip sends mixed messages.

[Katie Holmes and Adam Sandler shoot a scene for "Jack and Jill," a movie in which Sandler plays both a man and a woman. Image via Pacific Coast News.]