help wanted: top world terrorism organization seeks hot MILFs for covert high society infiltration missions. ability to charm security a must. formal education and breast implants optional.
How has no one acknowledged Jonathan Funke's name? 500 points for sharing a name with the world's most famous Blue Man* and the world's first analrapist.
Aw, what adorable nerds. The "Trek" couple are a refreshing change from the Westminster Kennel Club-like trotting out of lineage and credentials competition (which we enjoy too, obvs.) Those kids are going to make it.
Phyllis, Coach Sue Sylvester is staring you sternly in the eye, before hissing, "OutSTANDing."
They should really have a 12-step program for "Say Yes To The Dress" addiction. Once I turn it on, I can't turn it off, even if it's a rerun, which it usually is. I swear I've seen the episode with the mean mother who rushes into the stock room about 12 times.
@hortense: Phyllis and hortense! Both addicts to this show. I thought I had to hide away my shame. Truth time: I've even shed a few tears.
The wedding announcements in the NYTimes always make me feel inadequate, which is really their main purpose. Still, I wish I didn't feel like a failure because I didn't go to Princeton AND Yale and still had time to read three daily newspapers. Sigh. I've been busy trying to pay rent, you know.
@hortense: I got sucked into that show too and now into My Fair Wedding with David Tutera, which appears to be a man telling you that everything you picked for your wedding is shit and getting away with it. I'm watching to see if someone from Bridezillas shows up and beats his ass.
@Charlotte Rae's Web: But Charlotte, David's 22 years of experience knows better than ANY bride. My favorite part is when the bride and groom thank him and he gives this faux humble bow. Oh and when he fixes the brides train as she walks down the aisle. He is tacky brides' fairy godmother.
@hortense: Nefler keeps talking this ish up, but I refuse to watch it by myself. I'm going over to her place at some point before the new year and going into 2010 armed with whatever sickness it's going to give me. Hopefully, a drinking game will emerge.
@pabs: Heartwarming! One of my favorite parts is when he gets the bridesmaids and sometimes her mom, sisters and other family to tell her she has terrible taste, starting with the dresses. Betrayal of your friends and family really makes your wedding a special affair!
@Foster Kamer: If you drink every time someone says "do you love it?" or "I think this is the one," you'll be drunk 3.2 seconds into the program. It's a bit marvelous in that way.
@hortense: I felt like that about a cable channel documentary on our evolutionary cousins the chimpanzees, and when I saw it for the umpteenth time and realized I knew that the part coming up is where Fluffy, or whatever his name is, will be grieving for his dead mom, I was like, help, I need help.
@SarahHeartburn: And then they can be on the show about having a baby. The human having a baby show is sometimes more/less poignant and dramatic than the animals/zoo one.
@pabs: I did too. I never thought I'd be able to share my awe at Randy, who somehow manages to look at a bride for five seconds and immediately be able to choose the perfect dress for her. I call him the Magical Wedding Fairy. He's amazing.
"...her father was the lead counsel in a 1962 landmark case that ended state-prescribed prayer in public schools, and her mother's father was involved in the Scopes Monkey trial..."
Further tracing back her lineage, we discovered both Mighty Joe Young and Pontius Pilate.
@Lysergic Asset: True. And I head that a family member prosecuted Verres, but that their legal lineage goes even further back, all the way to Socrates's trial and a grain dispute between two farmers argued before one of Ur-Nammus's ministers.
@i'm a bottle: ...which may be why the appetizers include hemlock sausages, and the bride and groom are asking their wedding party to be buried with them when they die.
Am I the only one who has had his entire world crushed by this event. I mean it is a travesty. There are certain things you can count on in this life; death, taxes, and the factual accuracy of "The West Wing." According to said program, "anyone who jumps the fence, gets automatic jail time." Whether it is a fraternity pledge, or these hideous people. But no, apparently that is not so. Next you will tell me that being an assistant at a Conde Nast or Hachette fashion publication isn't really glamorous like MTV shows us it is.
#8. If you enlarge the top photo, you'll notice that the hair just above Tareq's ear resembles a rat that's intent on getting a better look at Obama. Or maybe I'm just high. Viva Raton!
@GlasgowRose: Never mind. CNN's website shows Jesse Ventura on LKL tomorrow night. Sounds like must-(not)-see-TV: "Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy Theory! The former Navy SEAL goes inside some of history's biggest conspiracies."
You put a large turd in a tux and you put a red sari and blond wig on a cow pie, and what do you have? Sadly, beyond the obvious, you get the next generation of reality TV's evil spawn.
Last one to leave the country, turn off the TV. There is truly nothing left to watch. If we haven't seen it all, we have certainly seen enough.
These people are examples of a deep, critical rot in our culture. All sense of respect and reverence has completely disappeared. Between Clinton, Nixon, and Bush the supposedly sacred office has become another disgraced element of our bankrupt society. We parody and disregard at will, lost in ourselves, no longer able to related to anything resembling a common code of courtesy, decency, or self-respect. Fuck these guys and the cameras they rode in on.
Come on, this was a desparate attempt to fake noteriety by the vapid sterotype Bravo TV has created. I hope they will be forced to don orange jumpsuits while cleaning trash off streets as much as I want to see the OC idiots go into foreclosure & ruin. I have my popcorn popped, ready to watch this fake it till you make it lifestyle go up in flames. It will serve to prove that my earnest hard work was not in vain.
Oh Foster, diplomats aren't all that bad. Sure, some are self-important assholes, but there are also a lot of wonderful eccentrics in the consular corps. One of our consuls is an old bolshevik who survived the student massacre of 1968 and went on to get his masters degree in international relations in the old Soviet Union. The dude is full of strange anecdotes and is very knowledgeable on even the more obscure Russian texts. Pair that with the fact that he will buy the staffers a drink from time to time and what's not to like?
(Also, if I may, diplomatic immunity is bogus. Contrary to popular belief, diplomats are not above the law; they merely remain under their country's jurisdiction while residing in another. Which is to say, if you murdered someone, it is expected that your country would strip you of your immunity and extradite you to face judgement there. There is also a rigorous, extensive vetting process carried out by the State Department before issuing an A1 or A2 visa to make sure you have no criminal record.
As for parking, it depends on the city. In L.A. cops don't care about the fancy blue plates- they will ticket you. Not that you have to pay ,nor that they will fire you, since the diplomatic service, at least in Mexico, is a life-time position. However, if you screw up too much your next posting could be a god forsaken corner of the earth. Parking anywhere for three years is not worth two years in an unstable middle eastern country.)
They're wannabe Hollywood sleazeballs, like the balloon boy folks, driven only by profit. They should be locked up. No art is involved. I would approve if the gate crasher(s) suddenly doffed their evening clothes and revealed themselves to be performance artists who bodies were covered with roast pepper hummus.
11/29/09
help wanted: top world terrorism organization seeks hot MILFs for covert high society infiltration missions. ability to charm security a must. formal education and breast implants optional.
11/29/09
*Understudy.
11/29/09
Phyllis, Coach Sue Sylvester is staring you sternly in the eye, before hissing, "OutSTANDing."
11/29/09
11/29/09
The wedding announcements in the NYTimes always make me feel inadequate, which is really their main purpose. Still, I wish I didn't feel like a failure because I didn't go to Princeton AND Yale and still had time to read three daily newspapers. Sigh. I've been busy trying to pay rent, you know.
11/29/09
11/29/09
Oh, God, take We Tv away from me now.
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That's not every episode?
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Also, this is why I don't have cable anymore.
11/29/09
07:32 AM
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11/29/09
Further tracing back her lineage, we discovered both Mighty Joe Young and Pontius Pilate.
11/29/09
11/29/09
(We could keep this going all afternoon.)
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11/29/09
Last one to leave the country, turn off the TV. There is truly nothing left to watch. If we haven't seen it all, we have certainly seen enough.
11/29/09
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11/29/09
(Also, if I may, diplomatic immunity is bogus. Contrary to popular belief, diplomats are not above the law; they merely remain under their country's jurisdiction while residing in another. Which is to say, if you murdered someone, it is expected that your country would strip you of your immunity and extradite you to face judgement there. There is also a rigorous, extensive vetting process carried out by the State Department before issuing an A1 or A2 visa to make sure you have no criminal record.
As for parking, it depends on the city. In L.A. cops don't care about the fancy blue plates- they will ticket you. Not that you have to pay ,nor that they will fire you, since the diplomatic service, at least in Mexico, is a life-time position. However, if you screw up too much your next posting could be a god forsaken corner of the earth. Parking anywhere for three years is not worth two years in an unstable middle eastern country.)
11/28/09