Heidi and Spencer Are Celebrities Dangit, So Get Them Out of There!

Spencer and Heidi implode on the set of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Madonna and Kate Hudson kinda almost get into a catfight, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter is charged in an infant's death, and Lori Petty spent the weekend in the slammer after getting arrested for DUI. More »

Lindsay Lohan Living In Horrendous Squalor, Confusing the Hell Out of LA Cops

LA police, responding to an alarm at Lindsay Lohan's home, thought the house had been "ransacked," when in fact it was merely the dwelling of a slob. George Clooney parties like an fratty ibanker. More »

New Career for Dina Lohan: Hobo

She's done reality TV and (horrifyingly) interviewed her own daughter on the red carpet, and now Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay and presumably other children, has an exciting new job opportunity: creepy Long Island transient. More »

Phelps Tried To Cover Up Pot Pics

Sometimes you just want to be left alone. Michael Phelps reportedly tried to pay to make pictures of his bong hits go away; John Mayer wants a lower profile than Jennifer Aniston offers. More »

Britney Spears Has Her Children Spy on Their Dad's New Girlfriend

The War of the Roses continues, with pop sanger Britney Spears asking her two sons, Harmony Korine and Palookaville, to file weekly spy reports about her ex, Ferret Chancellor Kevin Federline. More »

Britney's Sad, 'Vacant' Birthday Of Disses

• First Britney Spears' guests whispered behind her back about how she looked "vacant" and "out of it" at her big birthday party. Then the singer's ex Kevin Federline told People that Spears' craziness had him "concerned with my children," whose well-being he felt compelled to fight for via custody battle when Spears "went behind my back" and filed for divorce, leaving him "completely blindsided." Finally, her first husband was thrown in jail.
• But at least hunky former MSNBC anchor and raiser-of-journalistic-ethics-questions Dan Abrams came to Spears' party. And she might have talked to party guest Heidi Klum about a Project Runway gig.

5 Unanswered Questions Prompted By 'Britney: For the Record'

After weeks of doling out clips to a Cheeto-starved global audience, MTV finally aired the paparazzi cautionary tale entitled Britney: For the Record last night. "No topic was off limits," boasted the introductory crawl. "No question went unanswered." And no follow-up question went asked! Thus, we left the special with almost as many concerns as we had going in, including:

Suspicious Britney Spears Investigates Who Taught Her 3-Year-Old the F-Word

Yes, that's Britney Spears on the cover of Rolling Stone, with the least exposed flesh she's ever shown on the cover of that magazine. Her interview inside is similarly unrevealing, mostly recounting Britney's dating travails (of one beau, Britney said she was "trying to ask him questions, like, 'OK, you're into martial arts, so what kind of martial arts are you into?' And he was like, 'Oh, all kinds'"), though she does take the time to tweak Kevin Federline's skills as a father. It may not surprise you, reader, to learn that K-Fed's kick game is far superior to his parenting: More »

Britney Admits Her Marriage Was The Sort of Mistake Even Autotune Can't Fix

Now that a sober, nicely-weaved Britney Spears has had time to peruse her own Wikipedia entry, she's finally coming to grips with the things she barely remembers doing in a misty haze of Red Bull, Benzos, and Hot Pocket chicken fajitas. "What the hell was I thinking?" she once asked, and now, in a new clip from Britney: For the Record, she applies that question to her short-lived marriage to Kevin Federline. Sadly, in news that will surely dash hopes of a reconciliation, she admits that both Federline and his kick game were ridiculous. "I think I married for all the wrong reasons," she says. "I just did it because...for just, like, the idea of everything." Let this be a lesson: even though the fantasy of two souls exchanging vows in customized Juicy Couture "pimp" sweatpants is compelling, it's no reason to be hasty. Clip after the jump! More »

Tearful Britney Spears Misses the 'Excitement' Of Being Totally Fucking Crazy

It's rare that a stage-managed pop star can break free of her chains, but all of America bore witness to a time in Britney Spears's life when a gum-smacking "Y'all!" became a Klonopin-chomping "Y'allllllll." Now, Spears appears to be back on the wagon and of sound mind, body, and hair, but she confesses in the new documentary Britney: For the Record that she almost prefers the bald ol' days: More »

Britney Wants K-Fed To Hit Her One More Time

And by “hit,” we mean go to “couples counseling with.” You heard right: hot on the heels of Britney’s triumphant/manufactured MTV comeback, the National Enquirer is reporting that she and K-Fed are “undergoing couples counseling to rebuild their relationship in the hopes that they can raise their two sons as a family.” More »

Ryan Gosling, Vomit Dodger

What? Two PrivacyWatches in one week? That's your reward — all of our reward, really — for all of your attentive spying, neck-craning and blabber-mouthiness in recent days. And while we regret we have no epic Kim Kardashian traffic mishaps to report (and eventually debate), we can vouch for primo sightings of a single Ryan Gosling, the renowned pool shark Kevin Federline and a symbolic meeting of A-list and Z-list at one of the city's most glamorous steakeries. Remember, Hollywood PrivacyWatch is brought to us by the letter U, so put "Sightings" in your subject lines and keep those tips coming. More »

Hollywood Privacywatch: Ellen Pompeo, 'Staten Island Prostitute'

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Ellen Pompeo at the Century City Mall looking like (and we quote) "a Staten Island prostitute". More »

Britney Spears Gives Up Custody Of Kids

K-Fed Gives Big Thumbs Up To The Movies He Watched On The Plane

More »

Hollywood Privacywatch: Britney Spears Enjoys Some Poolside Chicken Fingers

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Britney Spears huffing smokes while eating poolside chicken fingers. More »

Britney Spears Suicide Alert! Hide All Umbrellas, Meds, And Morphine-Laced Lollipops!

Just when we thought Britney’s 378th comeback attempt (you know, the real one) was on its final wobbly legs of materializing, a salacious cover story from Life & Style paints Britney as a suicidal and unstable girl (but not yet a woman). Using the headline “Britney’s Suicide Drama,” details are promised regarding the currently slimmed down doting mother who’s finally perfected that weave nonsense after years of failing, along with her battles with repeated suicide attempts. As the weekly’s source claims, “I spoke with her many times and I’ve gone to her house...She’s on major medications...like a zombie now. She’s a shell of her old self.” But after getting past the enticing glossy cover, we found several holes in the exclamatory top story, a few of which we unveil after the jump: More »

Father's Day Round-Up: Celebrities Endure Unearned Praise, Humiliation For The Sake of The Children

Ah, Father's Day. A day when all of us, rich and poor, famous and anonymous, get together with our families and try to keep our long simmering resentments from boiling over. Kevin Federline celebrated the holiday like so many others, in a kid-free Las Vegas nightclub. Naturally,Federline nabbed a Father of the Year Award at club Prive. In an item that is layered with "WTF?" Us Magazine magazine attempts to explain the inexplicable. More »

Is Britney Spears Plotting A Comeback In The Perilous Land Of The All-You-Can-Eat $4.99 Buffet?

According to reports in everyone’s favorite trusted supermarket tabloid, Britney Spears is allegedly deep in planning mode for Comeback #487. Sources tell the National Enquirer that Spears is shelling out up to $10 million on what sounds like a very tasteful, classy-by-way-of-Louisiana string of song-and-dance shows at The Palms, one of K. Fed’s favorite places to sink into debt play the big baller. Where Spears is coming up with all this cash, considering most of her dough is currently going towards her father’s daily rate for babysitting, is still a mystery. But based on the description of her latest plan to “jump-start her career,” we’re not so sure these shows will do much aside from force us to remember Britney Spears Comebacks number 1 through 486: More »

Rumored Britney Spears Sex Tape Features Climactic Cameo By Her Old Friend, The Pink Wig

Most sex tape rumors involving Britney Spears are either too good to be true (Colin Farrell!) or too gross to convince us to want to see them at all (K. Fed). But the latest story from the tabloids is filled with details so plausible (especially considering the then-manic Package's mental state) that we’re not so sure it’s just another fairy tale. As the National Enquirer is reporting (again, don’t judge a supermarket tab’s creds by its cheap cover): More »

When It Comes To Celeb PDA, Boob And Crotch Grabs Are Par For The Course

When it comes to celebrity couples making out in public, you'd think all those beautiful people would know how to make a kiss look hot. They manage to do it on-screen with complete strangers, and frankly, a large part of their job is to hook up take after take and make it still look steamy and unrehearsed, right? But as our slideshow-happy friends at Us have shown us, stars are seriously lacking in the hot and heavy PDA department. While some couples (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long) are downright sweet, and some are disturbingly turning us on at such an early hour (Enrique and Anna Kournikova, natch), we'd like to officially ban any future photos of a select few couples getting down and dirty ever again. The good, the bad, and the nauseating, after the jump: More »

Britney Spears Shops Around Reality Show, Throws Wrench In Comeback Tour

Just as the Britney Spears Comeback Tour was picking up fuel with that promising role on HIMYM and a temporary absence from the tabloids, it appears that Spears may be regressing. The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney and her recently reunited manager Larry Rudolph are shopping around a reality show that would look, talk and walk far different from Chaotic: no K. Fed, two babies to feed, and no one to drug her and prompt intelligent conversation:

"She believes a reality show is a no-brainer. She can be herself and not have to study lines...Several production companies are interested in a Britney reality show and are willing to pay her millions."

More »

Kevin Federline's Credit Card Charges Offer Glimpse Into The Life Of A Liquor, Ladies And Luxury-Loving Big Baller

As Dolly Parton famously said, "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap." But after learning what Kevin Federline spent most of his money on last year, that catchphrase now has an even more deserving owner. As Us reports, credit card bills recently released by an LA court reveal what K. Fed spends a good chunk of those Britney-given child support payments on: strippers, Las Vegas hotel rooms and plenty of bottle service at flashy nightclubs. The silver lining? When the strippers do their job well, Federline is a generous tipper:

"At Scores strip club, he gave $2,000 on a $365 meal bill."

What a stand-up guy. More details on Kevin's classy indulgences of choice after the jump. More »

"Tom Cruise Purple" The Kind Of Bud That "Makes You Hallucinate"

Next Up On Port-au-Prince Action News: Your Weather

· We take three things from this video: One, Haitian Weather Guy is about the lowest-stress vocation on the planet. Two, some videos really do improve upon subsequent viewings. And three, if there's a Meaning of Life, Arthur knows it. [YouTube] More »

Casting The Upcoming '90210' Spinoff

Break out your varsity jackets and teasing combs, because Beverly Hills: 90210 is getting a B12 shot in the ass. As THR reports this morning, the beloved fictional halls of West Beverly will be refurbished and re-populated with a brand new spinoff on the CW. Though a pilot has yet to be written by Veronica Mars producer Rob Thomas, and the tweeny network has yet to sign any papers, we'd like to prevent Aaron Spelling from rolling over in his grave by offering our own suggestions for who should play the new versions of Brenda, Brandon and their rotating group of bed buddies. Although we kinda doubt a marching band dusted with school spirit could help our Donna Martin graduate... More »

Whooop! Whooop! Sound the denial alarm! A spokesperson for Kevin Federline (who sounds suspiciously like K-Fed talking with a ladylike British accent) told Extra that the rumors about the former couchhusband starring in Legally Blonde: The Musical on Broadway are "not true." Face it, UsMagazine.com: You've been pap'd. We smell Kutcher-stink all over this. Or, alternately, that the producers of Legally Blonde: The Musical decided they couldn't accommodate Federline's request that he rap the lyrics to all his numbers. [ExtraTV.com]

Y'All Ain't Ready For K-Fed In A Broadway Kickline

As his far more successful ex-wife continues her seemingly infinite spiral towards a state of ubiquitous oblivion, Kevin Federline has continued to defy all odds and expectations (of which there were none), and secure himself steady—and even prestigious—showbiz employment. To wit: An UsMagazine.com report claims producers of Legally Blonde: The Musical (which we watched in its entirety on MTV over Thanksgiving break—an activity only slightly gayer than gathering around a baby grand with some of your closest, rainbow-bethonged friends for a Sondheim singalong) are circling around America's Formerly Most-Hated Pimp to possibly star in the production: More »

After hearing last week that Britney Spears decided to give Sean Preston and The Other One haircuts on a rare visit with them, we worried the next pap shots of the doomed little pair would involve razors, tears, and bald babies bearing umbrellas. Fortunately, our worst fears weren't realized; The Package managed to gift the two with perfectly acceptable 'dos. But the most recent gift from Momma isn't quite as sweet. According to PageSix.com, the boys are so "confused" when they see their mother these days, that SP is having nightmares regularly, and even needs to hop into bed with huggy bear (now perfectly cushion-sized!) Kevin Federline. What is Britney doing that's so frightening? Apparently she sings them lullabies. We'd hop into our parents' bed too, no matter how long the plane ride, if we heard Mommy singing us "I'm A Slave 4 U" while drifting off to Never-Never-Land. [PageSix.com]

'Us' Calls Out Fatties With Their 'Hunk To Chunk' Photographic Retrospective

For the first time in recorded history, we actually felt sorry for poor chubster Kevin Federline yesterday. After all, as those golfing pictures revealed, that he's now sporting a Buddha big enough to hamper his golf swing. But apparently the slideshow-happy folks at Us Weekly didn't share our sympathies; in the wake of the revelation of Fat K-Fed, they've posted a slideshow featuring other formerly thin celebs who've gone from "hunk to chunk" in recent years. But being the stubborn argumentative types that we are, we're going to have to disagree with their take on all of these pound-packers' alleged downfalls. Sure, Clay Aiken's no prize these days (was he ever?), and Alec Baldwin certainly looked sexier in Glengarry Glen Ross than he currently does on 30 Rock, but a few members of Us' Fatso Club actually look far hotter with some extra meat on their bones. Our rebuttals, with pictorial evidence, after the jump. More »

Report: K-Fed Fat

Having fallen victim to an extremely common pitfall for any parent locked in a protracted, anxiety-inducing divorce, closet stress-eater Kevin Federline was captured recently on a local fairway sporting a hefty paunch and a sprouting set of cankles. The implications, of course, are staggering, as the former couchhusband and background krumper will soon find that his newly zaftig frame will overwhelm his garment of choice, leaving this wife-beater-enthusiast with an enormous, virtually useless pile of skewed cotton tank tops. (That is, until a lightbulb moment lands them on eBay, billed as an exciting new line of slightly used K-Fed maternity wear.) More »

Britney Spears Has Your Conservatorship Right Here