Is a Rihanna-J. Cole sex tape about to come out? Does Lindsay Lohan really think she is "just like Marilyn" Monroe? Christina Aguilera freaks over a child abuse rumor. Lady Gaga starts a fashion line with her sister. Thursday gossip has lecherous intents.

Bennifer 2.0 has a bun in the oven. Will and Jada Smith might be breaking up. Amy Winehouse's toxicology report is complete. Katie Holmes has a "cupcake emergency." Tuesday gossip struggles to avoid the Kardashians.

Cops bust Kim Kardashian's wedding, but let them eat butt plug cake. Jerry Seinfeld disses child fans. Kimberly Stewart births Benicio del Toro's baby. Chris Rock is a "divo." Monday gossip is black and white and read all over.

Benicio del Toro's publicist, on Rod Stewart daughter and Paris Hilton also-ran Kim Stewart: "Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby." Good to know. [L&S, images via Getty]

Sharon fantasizes about a capitalist end for her "waterbed" chest. Lil' Wayne is finally at Rikers, and now we know his real height. Kelly Cutrone saves the world with her vibrator. Tuesday gossip is climactic.

Where is Jennifer Aniston? We've been asking ourselves that question for what feels like three whole days now. And we're apparently not the only ones. At a gig in Milwaukee last night, boyfriend John Mayer was pouring his heart into those Grammy-winning sobfests he calls a repertoire when the usual "I want your…

Sometimes a new celebrity hookup will bare its ugly-bumping face, and you're just not sure who to feel sorrier for. Such is the case with Hair Club For Men member Jude Law and rebellious rock royalty Kimberly Stewart. The two were spotted "snogging" in a British dive bar, and fellow Guinness gulpers took advantage…

What exactly is a star to do when they've run out of things to snort up their much-abused noses? The Nesquik-laced coke trend had some buzz for awhile but quickly got old. Then Keith Richards tried an even more inventive trick by blowing rails constructed from his daddy's ashes. And let's not forget Steve-O, who…

Today's Page Six describes an unfortunate, if understandable, gaffe by Hilton Posse member Kimberly Stewart, who repeatedly misidentified superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer at a recent party:

How long does it take for dreams of young love die? Approximately eleven days, it seems, if you're crooner-spawn Kimberly Stewart and barely-legal Laguna Beach star Talan Torriero, whose passionate engagement has disintegrated into heartbreak.

No, that eerie hush you noticed on your commute into the office was not your imagination. It was the stunned silence of a city in mourning Kimberly Stewart and Talan Torriero have officially called off their fake engagement:

It's Day Three of This Week's Fake Engagement of the Century, and developments in the Kimberly Stewart-Talan Torriero impending nuptials are flying at us faster than $20 bills at a homeless man willing to humiliate himself for Paris Hilton's amusement. When last we posted, Stewart was flashing her five-carat…

As mentioned in an earlier post, and as reported today by every news outlet on Earth including a gatefold three-color spread in The Vatican Dispatch, Kimberly Stewart and Laguna Beach's Talan Torriero announced their engagement last night at an Xbox launch party, with Stewart gleefully using her (self-financed?)…

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