• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are causing all sorts of trouble on the set of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" and the thing hasn't even really started taping yet. According to Ryan Seacrest, of all people, the duo have been whining and bitching since they landed in Costa Rica and have even taken to talking trash about the other "celebrities" on the show. They're even threatening to walk out on the show! Now, we're sure that this is just a stunt to drum up publicity for the show, but whatever, maybe we'll get lucky and Lou Diamond Phillips will beat them senseless with coconuts and bamboo or something. [Ryan Seacrest]
  
  
• A catfight between Madonna and Kate Hudson, the ex and current lovers of Yankees' steroid freak Alex Rodriguez, nearly broke out over the weekend at a polo match on Governor's Island. Crisis was averted, however, when Madonna realized that she doesn't give a shit about Kate Hudson boning Alex Rodriquez. [Daily News]
  
  
• Billy Bob Thornton's estranged daughter has been charged in the death of a one year-old child she was babysitting. The child died last October after falling from its playpen. [TMZ]
  
  
• Britney Spears brought along an entourage of dudes she may or may not be banging on the regular for a meeting with K-Fed. [PITNB]
  
  
• Lori Petty got bombed, got behind the wheel of a car, blasted a skateboarder, got arrested, and then did the "cover my face with my shirt" perp walk after she was released the next day. Sounds like a stellar weekend. [TMZ]
  
  
• Steve-O of Jackass and Dancing With the Stars fame has found a new way to stay sober after years of addiction issues—-Tattoos! Apparently each time he feels the urge to take a bump, he gets some ink. [Page Six]
  
  
• Pink is basically about to beat the shit out of Kanye West because they were both at a fashion show and Kanye kept bitching about the lack of fur in the show and Pink is an animal rights activist or something and so it pissed her off. She could totally take Kanye's bitch-ass any day. [UK Sun]
  
  
• Kate Gosselin went to the beach and built tiny castles in the sand all by her own self because Jon can't stand her and was probably at Hooters flirting with the hostess or something. [DListed]
  
  
• Susan Boyle is probably in a straight jacket right now and is destined to be an older, more rumpled version of Amy Winehouse. So sad. [UK Mirror]
  
  
• Kimora Lee Simmons gave birth to a baby boy over the weekend after being sperminated by Djimon Hounsou. [EOnline]

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

• Kelly Bensimon's absolutely going back on Real Housewives for more catfight action. Apparently, Bethenny Frankel's a bully and needs to be show what the fuck is what. Meanwhile, while no official diagnosis has been made, this woman's clearly shown a pattern of cognitive cognitive dissonance, and is totally insane, because I don't think anybody likes her or sees it that way. Right? [Page Six]
  
  
• Page Six has a brilliant item on some MTV Movie Awards anecdotes: Whitney Port from The City had to be removed from sitting next to Twilight star Kristen Stewart after she called Twilight "really bad" and Stewart's performance in it "one-dimensional." Uta Hagen agrees! Also, the Disney kids had to be kept away from the Nickelodeon kids before a Warriors-esque knife fight broke out, because Nickelodeon believes Disney's kids are "tainted." Wow. The show airs tonight, it's probably gonna suck. [Page Six]
  
  
• The Killers' singer Brandon Flowers and his wife are expecting a second baby soon. Will he be human, or will he be dancer? The choice isn't really yours, but it should be. Then again, we'd all choose "dancer," anyway. [People]
  
  
• Tone Loc collapsed during a concert in Pensacola, Florida (home to the University of West Florida's Fightin'...Argonauts..) after having one cup too many of the Funky Cold Medina and overheating. He's gonna be fine. [MSNBC]
  
  
• Okay, really, this is maybe the best thing I've ever read on Page Six, if only because they made an item out of it: co-author of The Communist Manifesto Friedrich (or in P6 Speak: FRIEDRICH) Engels was a homophobe, loved hookers, and was a sexual predator, according to a new book on him. Scandalous! Next Page Six item, please: Chairman Mao Is An Alcoholic Dick! I love where this could go. [Page Six]
  
  
• Melissa Joan Hart opened up a candy store! It's called Sweet Harts (get it?) and a pissed-off has-been talking cat staffs the counter and doesn't want you sampling anything. Just buy it and get out, please. Also, related. [People]
  
  
• Will the 90's-oriented gossip items ever end? Answer: hell to the no. Tank Girl star - yes, Tank Girl - Lori Petty hit a skateboarder with her car last night in LA, and is sitting in jail on a felony DUI charge, being held on a $100K bail. I wish Ice-T could dress in a rat suit and bust her out, too. We all do. [TMZ]
  
  
• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou had a baby yesterday; it was a boy, and he's probably gonna be a decent looking kid. But the US news item about it had this typically bizarre quote from Kimora in it: "Asked if she wanted more kids, Simmons previously told Us, "I would love to. I practice everyday." Practice...how? [US Weekly]
  
  
• The Clintons are looking for new digs: Woodstock is probably ruled out (seriously). Apparently, Bill's friend, the drummer from The Band, Levon Helm, lives up there. Most likely, Hil's going to spoil his party, and they're going to remain in Westchester. Boring. [R&M]
  
  
• Christie Brinkley's advice to women: "Have an exit strategy." She doesn't see the point in being married after number four fell apart, which is sad, because she's endearingly cute and truthfully, at 55, still a MILF. Sorry. It's true. We should set her up with someone nice. [NYDN]

Looking for a parking spot outside Scuderia - her big head sticking out the window.

This morning on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was all bent out of shape about Phelps' bong hit, giving the tired spiel about how he's a role model and he's setting a bad example, blah blah blah. She went on to claim that since he's willing to use illegal drugs to have a good time, maybe he's open to using illegal drugs to advance his career, as though weed is a gateway drug to steroids or something. Whoopi shot her down pretty quickly, and admitted to enjoying pot.

Elisabeth's argument hinged on the fact that Phelps accepts money to endorse products. One of those is Rosetta Stone, the language-learning software, which is just about one of the most sedentary activities a stoner could enjoy, aside from watching The Wizard of Oz on mute while playing The Dark Side of the Moon. (I should know, since I've been using the program to learn Spanish.) His other sponsors, like Omega and Speedo, totally don't give a shit.

And they shouldn't, because it's silly — in my opinion, anyway — to pass judgment on those who take part in something as innocuous as pot smoking, which many believe is lot less harmful for one's body than alcohol. Besides, despite the fact that it's technically illegal, so many people smoke weed recreationally that it's not all that taboo. Here's a list of celebrities who have either been caught smoking marijuana, or admit willingly to doing so.

Woody Harrelson



Woody is an activist for the legalization of marijuana and hemp.

Willie Nelson



So is Willie Nelson.

Frances McDormand



Frances McDormand was on the cover of High Times in May 2003, in which she said, "I'm a recreational pot-smoker. There has never been enough of a distinction between marijuana and other drugs. It's a human rights issue, a censorship issue, and a choice issue."

Seth Rogen & James Franco



The pair stared in Pineapple Express together, and shared this maybe real/maybe fake joint on stage while presenting an award during the MTV Movie Awards last summer.

Cameron Diaz & Drew Barrymore



Also friends who share.

Justin Timberlake



Timberlake, who used to date Diaz, has been very open about how he smokes weed, sometimes even with is mother. He also admitted that he was stoned out of his mind when he was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher.

Kimora Lee Simmons



Kimora Lee Simmons took one of the stoniest mugshots after she was arrested in 2004 for possession.

Nicole Richie



Nicole admitted to having smoked pot, as well as taking a Vicodin, when she was arrested for a DUI charge in 2007.

Paris Hilton



Nicole's buddy Paris' reefer madness has been well documented.

Michelle Phillips



Former singer from The Mamas & The Papas said as recently as 2001 that, "Marijuana should definitely be legalized. I think we should let everyone smoke it without fear of being thrown in jail. It's the greatest drug in the world!"

Snoop Dogg



Duh.

Redman



We'll be here all day if we start listing rappers.

Lil Wayne



But we'll mention Wayne for good measure.

Mariah Carey



Mariah is such a goody-two-shoes that she'd never publicly admit to marijuana use, but on her most recent album, she made plenty of weed references.

Charlize Theron



Academy Award winners like their weed, too.

AARP



In the summer of 2005, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) hosted a smoke-in to promote the legalization of marijuana. Celebrities that participated: Willie Nelson, Woody Harrelson (obvs), Bette Midler, Santana, Chicago, David Crosby and Graham Nash, Rod Stewart, The New Jefferson Starship, Tony Orlando, Ringo Starr, Tommy Chong, Snoop Dogg, and Robert Downey Jr.

Matthew McConaughey



When McConaughey gets loose, he does so with bongos.

Dionne Warwick



Her work with Burt Bacharach was way too mellow to not be under the influence.

Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown



They've got "Something in Common."

Sarah Silverman



Sarah speaks favorably about weed in her act, and smoked with Doug Benson in his movie Super High Me.

Doug Benson



Comedian Doug Benson has centered much of his career around pot.

Oliver Stone



He has the perfect name for someone who's been busted for pot on numerous occasions.

Dawn Wells



Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was arrested last year for possession.

Dave Chappelle

The Pointer Sisters



Oliver Hudson tells a story about his first concert-going experience, during which the Pointer Sisters were getting blazed.

Paul Dinello



It's hard to watch this Strangers With Candy clip about smoking pot without thinking that writer/actor Paul Dinello believes what he is saying.

Barbra Streisand



In a 1972 Rolling Stone interview, Babs said, "I'd take out a joint and light it. First, just faking it. Then I started lighting live joints, passing them around to the band, you know. I was great, it relieved all my tensions. And I ended up with the greatest supply of grass ever. Other acts up and down the Strip heard about what I was doing - Little Anthony and the Imperials, people like that - and started sending me the best dope in the world. I never ran out."

Phelps Backed by Sponsors After Marijuana Photo [TCPalm]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck disses Michael Phelps; Whoopi Goldberg: 'I have smoked weed' [EW]

• Is 30 Rock the new Saturday Night Live? Tina Fey, SNL alum and 30 Rock creator, is talking about bringing onto the show that whore chick Ashley Dupre and also that less-insane-by-the-day singer Britney Spears. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan don't bring enough crazy to the party? Really?
• Spears is also looking at hosting the Kids' Choice Awards at the end of the month. So many things could go wrong, and it would be so awesome, on some sick and twisted level, if they did. [OK!]
• But Spears won't have a meltdown, because she's on the right track, and you can tell because she now has good teeth. Or at least good teeth products. From a dentist and everything! [Popsugar]
• Puppy-and-kitten-hating monster Paris Hilton adopted another victim from a thoughtless animal shelter on Long Island. The doomed creature is a West Highland terrier. Former dog-sitter: "Last time I watched her dog, she forgot I had it and assumed it was lost." [MSNBC, second item]
• Diva model Tyra Banks is going to quit America's Next Top Model or maybe stab photographer Jay Manuel instead. She is lethal. [OK!]
• Scientology's inner-city ambassador Kimora Lee Simmons filed for divorce from her husband, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons, now that she's reportedly knocked up by her boyfriend. She wants the kids, and for Russell only to be able to visit with "security personnel" present, since he's the one who is crazy. [People]
• Yes, Kylie Minogue, gay techo laureate, is coming to the U.S. with her new album, but it's only for stupid TV appearances, no concerts. On the bright side, who's to say she won't show up at a club or two? [Queerty]
• Comedian Robin Williams is hilariously improvising his latest divorce. This one lasted nearly 20 years; she had been nanny to his child. That guy is so wacky. [SF Chronicle]
• Gossip Girl dude Chace Crawford is no longer dating American Idol fameball Carrie Underwood. Possibly because he's too, uh, "close" to this guy from 'N Sync. [Perez]
• Hills star Heidi Montag wants look-alikes to work as models during a launch party for her fashion line. Must effectively hate on Lauren Conrad during the tryout. [Us]

• OMG Paris Hilton is finally saving African kids with her beautiful love, just like she promised! Oh wait, the kids go to a private school and are wealthy. Paris' way too fashionable clothes don't even look dirty. Nice try, liar. [Faded Youth]
• Singer Britney Spears is going to open her own dance studio, even though she could give the troubled American economy a boost by going insane again. [Perez]
• When not recruiting innocent inner-city kids into Scientology, or aggressively reproducing, model Kimora Lee Simmons is saying insane things about turning her dog into a diamond. There is actually a company that will do that, probably almost entirely for crazy rich celebrities. [Hollyscoop]
• A lady was almost killed by crazed, stampeding Oprah Winfrey fans, who pushed her down some stairs. Everyone was scrambling for a seat on the show. This can't be a rare occurrence. [TMZ]
• Heather Mills, Beatle Paul McCartney's ex wife, is hated by the entire population of the British isles, judging by the no-doubt-objective tabloid coverage of her. The heartless monster's latest outrage is sending her four-year-old daughter on an airplane flight in the back of the plane instead of first class. [Sun]
• Actress Tori Spelling is eager to relive her 90210 days. "Maybe I could be one of the main character's young step mom." [People]
• Actress Lindsay Lohan is rushing to her ailing grandfather via private jet. [E Online]

You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise," Smith tells us.

"I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths."

Despite reports she distributed the Scientology book "The Way to Happiness" to N.Y. school kids, Simmons' reps also denied her involvement.

Statements on being a non-partisan student of world theology notwithstanding, there's no doubt that Smith, in becoming a close friend to Tom Cruise, has been exposed to at least some of the sacred teachings, imparted via countless spiraling-pupil mind-meld sessions with the OT-VIII. Smith's reconditioning is just Phase One of a much larger plot, however: Ultimately, his signal will kick in every time he sees a quartet of black Connect Four pieces in diagonal formation, triggering his directive to assassinate the headstrong Kanye West before he becomes President of the United States, toppling their evil regime forever.

• Will Smith and Jada: Don't know much Scientology [nydailynews.com]

"Will is definitely in the process of becoming a member, 'He's been getting more and more involved. And it isn't just him, it's definitely Jada, too. It's that as he becomes more involved, you'd think he'd sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.'"

According to an upcoming cover story in Radar, designer and Style Channel star Kimora Lee Simmons has been involved with the Church for years, even lending her recognizable visage to promotional materials used in a children's school in 2006. Apparently Scientology leader David Miscavige "spoke glowingly of Kimora Lee Simmons' efforts to distribute a personalized edition of Hubbard's The Way to Happiness' featuring her image on the cover, to school kids in New Jersey." Interesting. Naturally, reps for Will and Kimora deny the fact that they're Scientologists. But, as we noted two months ago, Will disturbingly gave free coupons for personality tests at an E-Meter outlet to the entire cast and crew of Hancock as his wrap gift. We know Will's a funny guy, but this action doesn't pass the sniff test for being some sort of Kutcher-esque prank. And Kimora's career has been taking off a bit of late (working with E! on their red carpet, etc.). Now, if only Cruise and Miscavige can get Oprah on board, they'll really be onto something...

[Photo Credit: Wire Image]

• WILL SMITH, JADA THE NEW FACES OF SCIENTOLOGY? [The Scoop]

• Actor George Clooney Googled himself in front of Esquire and addressed the various rumors that popped up. On his alleged feud with Fabio: "There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you're thinking, 'If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn't shake that.'" On being called "gay, gay, gay:" "No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay – that was pushing it." [People]
• At long last police and maybe the FBI are more concerned about a deranged fan hurting singer Britney Spears than about a deranged Spears hurting herself. A fan is sending sex toys, customized porn stories and a picture of himself with the eyes cut out and, in at least in one case, odd liquid squirting into his mouth. The letters maybe also had talk of bombs and the Middle East. And the only reason you're reading about this is that Spears hasn't gone on a crazy rampage and thus buried the news of her insane stalker. Yay?
• Spears shouldn't worry too much about the crazy, since she has a cussy new bodyguard, seen here about to grope her.
• Also, comedian Rosie O'Donnell made Spears one of those YouTube-esque fan mashups, with just the song "Calling you" by Patti Lupone and some still pictures of Britney. OMG, more of this, please, Rosie. [P6]
• Someone not home with actress Heather Locklear called 911, worried she would commit suicide. When police arrived at her house, Locklear seemed fine so the emergency crews left. ShowbizSpy detailed her love life.
• Heath Ledger left none of his assets to his daughter or her mom. [Sun]
• Matt Damon and his wife Luciana are expecting another child. [Us]
• An aggressive and determined Kimora Lee Simmons conceived another child for her Scientology army. Some guy was involved, but that seems beside the point.

We use Getty Images database as a proxy for measuring the social behavior patterns of celebrities. Getty Images collected almost 1,600 pictures from the 2007 Vanity Fair event. 248 different people were identified in these photos. The means, even if we discount the fact that not everyone at the event actually was photographed, at least 30,628 connections are mathematically possible. More interestingly, it seems that a surprising number of these potential connections are made throughout the year at various other events. When we looked at the entire database of Getty Images photos associated with entertainment events, we find that some of the people in attendance at the Vanity Fair party ended up at other events with at least 50% of those also at the party.

Take for example Jennifer Lopez: Of the 248 people photographed at the party, between 2006-2007, she ended up at other events throughout the year with 134 them while expectedly, given her social butterfly status, Lopez’s husband, Marc Anthony was at other events with 121 of the 248 photographed attendees. Similarly, Penelope Cruz ended up at other events with 123 Vanity Fair party attendees.

Figure 1: The celebrities who attended the most events with other Vanity Fair partiers

1. Jennifer Lopez
2. Penelope Cruz
3. Marc Anthony
4. Beyonce
5. Helen Mirren
6. Jennifer Hudson
7. Sharon Stone
8. Will Smith
9. Forest Whitaker

Further, part of the appeal of the Vanity Fair party is that even if you don’t know everyone, there is an extraordinarily high chance that you will be able to meet that producer, director, actress etc. that you want to meet if you try just a little, and this meeting doesn’t have to occur at the party. Vanity Fair party goers are just more connected than the rest of us. As a whole, Americans have a maximum of six degrees of separation, which means that the worst case scenario is that you can reach anyone in America through at most six acquaintances. (No, this isn’t just a phrase, it’s been tested by social scientists ranging from Stanley Milgram to Duncan Watts, and Will Smith, ironically, even stars in a movie with the same title). Conversely, the people at the Vanity Fair party network have just 4 degrees of separation.

What this means is that those attending the Vanity Fair party not only have just 1 degree of separation from those also at the party (by virtue of being in the same place you only have to tap someone on the shoulder at the bar and say hello), they also can connect to anyone else in the entire database of people and events photographed by Getty through 3 mediators (or people). And there are some people who are even more connected – they need less than one person to get in touch with someone else. For example, Vanity Fair attendees, Oprah Winfrey and Kimora Lee Simmons are only 1.7 degrees of separation from anyone else photographed by Getty, while Suzanne Somers’ degrees of separation is 1.96 and Elton John’s is 1.78, which means that they need contact with, well, 0.7-0.96 of a another person to access anyone else.

Figure 2: Degrees of Separation for the Rich and Famous

1. Kimora Lee Simmons
2. Nancy Wilson
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. Gayle King
5. Zhang Ziyi
6. Elton John
7. Brandon Routh
8. Fran Lebowitz

With the cancellation of the Vanity Fair party putting the kibosh on all those potential interactions with other beautiful, interesting celebrities, a star might be inclined to stay at home, order Chinese food and watch the Oscars on TV. And that decision, as it turns out, would be okay.

Because so many of those attending the Vanity Fair party end up at so many other events together, there is a high probability that the run-ins and social networking that occur at the Vanity Fair party will occur in other places to, albeit not quite to the same level. Now that the most fabulous party (and as it seems greatest networking event) of the year has been likely permanently cancelled, it would be useful to have a plan B, to know where to even bother showing up, and we’ll tell you. Sure, going to the actual Academy Awards or the Golden Globes would be an option. But with the cancellation of the raison d’etre for the evening, why bother getting all dressed up to sit quietly in an uncomfortable seat for 3 hours? Instead, we suggest hitting up the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Ball, New York Fashion Week or the Instyle and Warner Brother’s Golden Globes party. According to our research, you’re guaranteed to find some of your former Vanity Fair party BFFs there (See chart).

Elizabeth Currid, assistant professor at the School of Policy, Planning and Development at University of Southern California, is the author of The Warhol Economy: How Fashion, Art and Music Drive New York City. Gilad Ravid is a lecturer and researcher at Industrial Engineering and Management department, Ben Gurion University of the Negev in Israel.

Though she does not speak on video, Kimora Lee Simmons is depicted as an inner-city Scientology evangelist for 12-18 year olds. The video then claims Coca-Cola, Philips and Dell, and 7-11 help spread the anti-psychiatry message as well in various countries outside the U.S.. (54 seconds)

For background, here's Miscavige's quick, violent overview of Scientology's latest campaign against psychiatry. The video includes a computer-generated hand grenade and smart bomb and depictions of government buildings blowing up. (38 seconds)

Another segment of the video details Scientology's overall media campaign against psychiatry, allegedly planting stories in newspapers and TV newscasts. (1:55)

EXT. BAY BAR
The Sunday noon crowd at Bay Bar consists of those running in and out to get iced coffee products and those sitting at tables enjoying iced coffee products. VISORGAY, wearing olive drab cargo shorts and a navy mesh Nike visor, sits with TANKGAY, in olive drab cargo shorts and a robin's egg blue tank. They are at a prime table overlooking the harbor and the boardwalk that runs along it. Across the water, unidentifiable shrieks can be heard.

Previously: The Pines Party

On her upcoming humanitarian work in Africa:

I want to go to Africa," Simmons tells [an African lady]. "My husband is going to Africa. And I'm going to come visit your people so that we can talk about fabulosity. You're beautiful! You're fabulous!"

"Lines like MAC and Prescriptives - which really cater their color palette and blending and everything to their multicultural customer - are really, like, my idols."

"I'm really into "Memoirs of a Geisha," and you see how the women were so delicate? It's all about being delicate, ladies."

"You're too young. Go lighter! Go lighter! You don't want to look slutty."

Fans Crave Mora Kimora [NYP]

And, in other news (yes, there is other news!):

• We're still taking your questions for Times editor Bill Keller. Send your suggested queries to tips@gawker.com. We've yet to receive anything that addresses seersucker.
• Russell and Kimora are just thrilled with their open marriage. Really. Fucking. Happy. [crunk + disorderly]
• The Times Frank Bruni was at NBC prettyface Campbell Brown's wedding to Dan Senor. Here's how he got there. [Best of Both Worlds]
• What the hell is "Dance Friday," and why do we love it so? [Diminishing Returns]

We just don't see how they couldn't make it work. They all seemed so happy, so full of love. What went wrong? Kimora had all the clothes, shoes, cars, pets, products, servants, delicacies, fashion lines, pot, handbags, closets, and jewelry that his money could buy.

Russell, Kimora Lee Simmons Split [People]

Location: Age Group LTD. 180 Madison Ave. 3rd Floor New York, NY 10016. Click Here to RSVP Date & Time: Thursday February 16th from: 4:30 to 8:30 pm
Requirement: Female Models: Height: 5 7 5 10 Dress: 1/2 3/4 Inseam: 32 34
Female Plus Models: Height: 5 7 5 10 Dress: 14-16 Inseam: 32 34
Male Models: Height: 5 8 6 2 Waist: 32 34 Inseam: 32 - 34

While we encourage everyone to chase their dreams and attend the open call, we have to warn you: Kimora doesn't really intend to use the plus-size models. She's just keeping the big girls around to maintain some street cred.

Open Casting Call [eFashionSolutions]