Gawker: kola boof

Beyond Whitney: More of Kola Boof's Osama bin Laden

Chris Mohney — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 16:50:46 EDT

Favorite songs: "Rock Lobster," B-52s; unspecified Van Halen.

Favorite TV shows: The Wonder Years, Miami Vice, MacGyver.

Complexion: "Zesty salmon-orange."

Best Osama dialogue that could be a hip hop lyric: "Dance like a Caucasoid girl!"

His Prerogative [Harper's]

Earlier: The Greatest Terrorist's Love of All

The Greatest Terrorist's Love of All

Chris Mohney — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:00:44 EDT

Apparently Patrick Bateman, the "protagonist" of Bret Easton Ellis's American Psycho, isn't the only maniac obsessed with Whitney Houston. You may recall Sudanese authoress Kola Boof, who claims in her memoir Diary of a Lost Girl that Osama bin Laden kept her as some sort of indentured sexual companion (Boof objects to the term "sex slave," though every other media outlet uses it quite freely). Harper's ~~Bazaar~~ is running an excerpt of the memoir, and though everyone mentions the sex-slave part, what's getting the most play is that Boof claims bin Laden harbors a super crush on Houston. Supposedly, bin Laden has a "paramount desire" for Houston booty, though he's conflicted due to his hatred of music in general and syrupy, bombastic pop ballads in particular (OK, we're projecting). Osama also seemed willing to break his "color rule" for Houston and make her an official wife. To accomplish this, the al Qaeda leader even contemplated a hit on Houston's husband Bobby Brown. Such dramatics, considering all he needs to tempt her to his harem is a nice fat bag of crack.

Obsessed Bin Laden wanted to kill Whitney Houston's husband [Daily Mail]

DoOL De-Boofs

Chris Mohney — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 15:00:59 EDT

No, that's not just a string of nonsense words. Wonderfully named author, activist, and autobiographer Kola Boof is something of a character. Originally from Sudan, Boof's chief notoriety comes from her claim that she once did time as an involuntary coital companion for Osama bin Laden. The exact terminology is a bit dicey, as Boof hates that the New York Post keeps referring to this as her "sex slave" period; Boof's bio says she was Osama's "lover ... against her will," so take your pick. Some have expressed doubts about Boof's bin Ladenizing, but the more pressing question is this: Why was Boof fired from her job as a writer on Days of Our Lives?

(Note: The above is not a punchline. At least, not in the strictest sense.) One could well ask what drew Boof to writing for a soap opera in the first place; she claims it's because she learned English watching the show. Perhaps Boof's response to her tangles with the Post may shed some light on her severance from DoOL:

I have been met only with racism, snobbery and all around privileged ignorance by the pot-heads who edit and write for the newspapers in the United States ... I could give two camel humps about being popular with the mainstream ...

We actually did have a punchline here, but we gotta run out and burn one, so write your own.

'Days' Boots Osama's Slave [NYP]
Fatwa Victim or a Fraud?; Mystery Enshrouds Kola Boof, Writer and Internet Persona [NYT]
Kola Wars: bin Laden's Mistress is Fired [SoapCentral]
Bin Laden's #1 Enemy, Kola Boof, Shocked by N.Y. Post Story [PRWeb]
Kola Boof [Official site]