• Actress Jessica Alba married Cash Warren, father to the daughter she is set to give birth to this summer. The couple met on the set of Fantastic Four, where he was a director's assistant. [Rush & Molloy]
• Woody Harrelson: Married, but an ogler. Unsurprising, even if he wasn't running wild on some giant yacht at Cannes. [P6]
• Sad Lily Allen getting sadder at Cannes, where the sometimes-adorable British singer drunkenly and embarrassingly jumped off a millionaire's yacht and passed out drunk in a club "on her father's lap." Previously this year she had broken engagement, a miscarriage, and her TV show got cancelled. I would just stay indoors until next year. Or, you know, stop drinking. [P6]
• Teetotaler Kristin Davis says she's sending back the Cosmo you sent her because she's a recovering alcoholic, but she could also just reject it as a totally lame gesture, and she'd still be righteous. [P6]
• Nas decided against calling his album "N—ger" because Al Sharpton asked him not to. Or, more likely, because no one would stock his record and he would make way, way less money. That's fine with Sharpton, of course, because that's just how he rolls. "He can rap against me. I'll preach against them. We're still friends." [Rush & Molloy]
• Courtney Love explained she has not canceled her second solo album, because that would be crazy. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Aniston told friends her man/obsession John Mayer said is "way better" in bed than Brad Pitt, according to a National Enquirer source who presumably feels as suffocated by the relationship as everyone else who has to read about it. [Showbiz Spy]
• Someone in Liverpool spent 18 months growing and sculpting a Beatles hedge, only to have someone chop off Ringo Starr's head. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz would like everyone to know that he and Ashlee Simpson have signed a prenup. [Showbiz Spy]

• There is no goddamned way animal-hating monster Paris Hilton actually said this to justify her alleged competitive need to conceive: "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."
• British police kept hold of singer Amy Winehouse for nine hours of questioning after arresting her in connection with a January video in which she apparently smoked crack. She was said to have "sobbed uncontrollably once inside Limehouse" jail before being released around 1:30 am. By 4 am she was happily rummaging around at a convenience store, chatting up reporters.
• Jennifer Aniston was calling flame John Mayer "every spare moment" she got on a Miami film set. Then he flew to Miami to make out with her in a football stadium. This is the part where we all tune out for our own sanity, right? [OK!]
• For the Sex And The City movie, Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon got to keep their clothes, but Kristin Davis and Kim Cattrall did not. So unjust. How do they expect Kristin Davis to make movies without clothes? [E!]
• The Barbara Walters episode of Oprah attracted more viewers than both Tom Cruise episodes of Oprah, according to television tracking firm Perez Hilton.
• Here is Matt Damon looking creepy in a moustache. [IsThisHappening]

The Daily News' follow up to their own front page splash last week about Davis' client list was Saturday's front page splash about New York Rangers hockey star Sean Avery's number being present in the black book. Avery denied everything. This morning, the Post strikes back with a story purporting to debunk the NYDN's Avery connection:

"I personally spoke to her, and she confirmed that she has never had any contact with Sean Avery in any shape or form," Davis' lawyer, Mark Jay Heller, told The Post yesterday...

"It is believed that alleged black book . . . is not authentic," Heller said.

Heller also says he MAY launch a lawsuit against the NYDN. Hey, maybe he can team up with Eliot Spitzer when he decides to sue the Post for connecting him to Kristin Davis! A charge which is repeated in today's story, although it has now been reformulated slightly to read, "Davis, who was rumored to have been one of Spitzer's personal favorites, is currently jailed on charges of promoting prostitution."

Mitigating evidence in favor of the black book being real: The NYDN used it to contact several people who did admit seeing Davis' hookers. So it would be a pretty convincing and incredible forgery.

We will continue to follow this shady, unclear story until the truth comes out and we can definitively say which media outlet is most deserving of mockery.

[pic via NYP]

After getting scooped on the Davis-Spitzer story by the Post yesterday (or not?), the NYDN today strikes back with a cover story touting how they have exclusively obtained her black book with all her clients. We were offered the same black book yesterday, in an unsolicited email. The guy doing the offering was looking for a cash offer himself. I'm pretty positive it's the same black book that the NYDN ran with for their story, because the snippet we got includes some of the same info included in their story. Wonder how the paper got it? We'll let you know if we find out.

Not only that: the NYDN says in their story, "But law enforcement officials yesterday shot down a report that then-Gov. Eliot Spitzer has been identified as a regular client of bottle blond Davis." With no real elaboration.

Meanwhile, the Post today reports that Jessica Cutler, the whorish DC blogger "Washingtonienne," actually worked for Davis' escort service for a while. Cutler refused to say whether she did or not. More importantly, the Post refers to it as "a Manhattan call-girl ring that counted Eliot Spitzer as a client." Which would seem to indicate they're standing behind their story yesterday.

One thing is clear: If either paper had this story really nailed down and air tight, they would be giving it much more play. If the Daily News had rock-solid proof that the Post fucked up on the Spitzer connection, they would certainly make that a blowout story. Likewise for the Post—which didn't even put the Kristin Davis story on its cover today, opting instead for a piece on Yankee Hideki Matsui's wedding. And the fact that the Times, which has the most rigorous sourcing standards of all three papers, hasn't come down on either side of this tawdry but certainly newsworthy story makes us believe that hard facts are hard to come by.

So why not settle for informed speculation and inside rumors, then? If you have any insight into how this story is playing out, email us.