Kardashians Reportedly Hate Fat Brother for Being Fat
America's new sweetheart Rob Kardashian walked out on the Kimye wedding this weekend after he reportedly realized that his family is truly awful.
The War on Sexting
Old people continue their neverending assault on sexting by targeting teens behind the wheel.
White House Tweets News, Does Not Run Into Tree
Oh, god. The White House just announced a prime time press conference for next week. And they announced it on Twitter! Hey @whitehouse, that is rly stupid.
Most Boring Could've-Been-Tragic News Of The Week
Honduras already named a new president and the "coup" is over. Worst junta ever.
Denver Parties, Schwag Equally Lame
You stuck in New York doing, like, real work while your colleagues party it up in Denver? You jealous? Well honestly, man up. Because you can just keep on partying like usual while they are all stuck going to lame sponsored bullshit parties in Denver. Our man in Denver reports that the Planned Parenthood party was…
Obama's Dave Matthews Tickets Beat Clinton's "Ideas" Or Whatever
Suspicious: During a pro-Hillary speech by Bill Clinton at Indiana University, the Barack Obama campaign started giving away concert tickets to Dave Matthews Band. The giveaway was the first opportunity to grab the tickets, and a line formed, partly made up of people who left the Clinton event, according to the …
Carson Daly Turns His Midas Touch of Lameness on Internet
When YouTube first launched we were like, "This is cool and everything, but how do we know what's worthwhile? We sure wish someone like Carson Daly would come along and just show us the best web videos available."
Were You Sent from Heaven, Magazine? Because You've Been Running Through My Mind All Day!
We remember this legendary guy in high school who could make time with any girl using the exact same line. Eventually some of the girls started to complain that it was a cheap trick and somehow shamefully manipulative, but we remember thinking at the time that if it ain't broke, why fix it?
