Larry King, the reigning champion of softball interviews, was apparently not soft enough for Ms. Prejean. King broaches the subject of the lawsuit Carrie settled with Miss California USA. (You know, the mediation where they screened her sex tape in front of her mom?) Then, Carrie complains that King is "being inappropriate," and after a full minute of wrangling, she removes her microphone and announces she is leaving—only to end up sitting there for another minute, grinning and playing the "I ca-a-an't he-e-ear y-o-o-ou" game until Larry cuts to commercial.

The ensuing commercial break was deeply suspenseful. Would Carrie be on set when we returned? I can only imagine what sort of harsh, frantically whispered words were spoken during these moments, because when the show returned, Carrie's microphone had miraculously been rewired and King apologized. (Apparently Prejean didn't want to take phone calls, and it was the caller, not Larry's questions, that so perturbed her?) A temporary rift in the time-space continuum healed and Larry King Live returned to being as heavy-hitting as a feather-stuffed cashmere pillow.

Novelist and journalist Lev Grossman really needs a computer backup strategy. Sounds like a consultation with massive computer nerd Susan Orlean is in order.

Just when CNN's Larry King thinks he understands The Twitter it... does... THIS! Oy.

If you weren't such a psycho about making friends on Facebook, the Washington Post's Rob Pegoraro might still be your friend on Facebook.

The definition of Bridezilla: When someone like the Daily Post's Debbie James would rather be followed by "rapist killer" than by your wedding-research Twitter account.

Demi Moore can't wait for you to get your "Being a Terrible Paparazzo in Public" ticket from the police. That's like eight million points on your DMV record, punk.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Rest in Peace, Yellow Suspenders: Like two brilliant bands of happiness, you girded all our hopes and dreams.

He was letting everyone know the current National Threat Advisory Level:

Seriously, though, I cannot recall a time when the hue of King's suspenders even approached such brilliance. And Google image search suggests a very clear preference for dark blue or black braces throughout the ages. Just what is he up to?

1.) Toes
Tyra had guests this week who get fake toenails put on.

And there were these idiots, who pay $65 a session to have their toes read.

2.) Mariah
She made the talk show rounds. She stumbled on Leno.

Then she went on Larry King Live, where she blinged out his logo.

And then smelled her tits.

Also, Larry serenaded her.

3.) "Where are you?"
Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew premiered this week. One of its cast members, Nicole Narain, was on The Joy Behar Show, where she answered Joy's question a little too literally.

4.) What happens when you slouch in Judge Judy's court.

5.) Cougars
The Insider is taking this taking this cougar thing way too far. Although, I do like the little glimpses of Wasilla townies we get.

Niecy Nash is now literally referred to as "the resident cougar," and for the past two weeks, she's been going on dates with younger men.

Is this supposed to be sexy? Chest stubble and exaggerated nipples?

It reminds me of when Homer got plastic surgery so that Marge wouldn't leave him for a younger man.

And his nipples cried.

6.) Heather from Rock of Love on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
She played a hooker.

7.) Why did Sandals have to ruin a perfectly lovely song?

8.) Jon Gosselin implied that he's on the same professional level as Mary Hart.
And she didn't like it.

9.) Kirstie Alley on her coke days.

10.) Michelle Obama is fun.

1.) Synergy
Jon Gosselin's answer when asked for his thoughts on the Balloon Boy hoax:



We're thinking that Balloon Boy might give the same exact answer when asked for his thoughts on Jon Gosselin wiping out his family's bank account.

2.) Tricia Walsh-Smith threatened to walk off The Insider.
She didn't understand that people were telling her that she is smart.

BTW, why does The Insider consider Marla Maples part of "The Real First Wives Club"?

3.) "Tardy for the Party" is based on a true story.

Kim might have another hit on her hands, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.

4.) A different type of tardy at the party
I love Kim's wasted face.

5.) The best excuse for tardiness
Courtesy of Bridezillas

6.) Spry seniors
Larry King's promo picture for his blog is awesome.

And this week, Elizabeth Taylor took Paris and Prince Jackson to Universal Studios theme park.

7.) Courtney Cox was a menstruation pioneer.

8.) What Al Reynolds is up to now
Musical theater-y things, regurgitating, and not being normal. His words, not mine.

9.) Tyra colonic
Last Friday, Tyra featured a colonic on her stage, which the host claimed was the First! Ever! Televised! Colonic! Except it wasn't. I remember Dave Navarro getting one on his reality show about his marriage to Carmen Electra. Tyra also said that a colonic was "the opposite of diarrhea." In fact, a colonic is the opposite of that. It is diarrhea, and it drips down your leg.

10.) A lesson on life from Judge Judy

• Pamela Anderson bought a new house last year and wanted to give it some necessary renovations, like gold tiles. Sadly, she doesn't even have enough money to make the house inhabitable and has been forced to live in a one-bedroom trailer with her two sons. [Metro]
  
  
• None of the cast from Real Housewives of New York like Bethenny Frankel, which is fine, because she doesn't like them and Bravo needs to make sure she can stand alone for her own show. [NYDN]
  
  
• There's tons and tons of security on the India set for Julia Roberts' new movie because people love her. Well, not all people: some are pissed off the shooting has taken over a local temple. Don't they know that Hollywood is God? [MSNBC]
  
  
• CNN bigwigs are wondering what to do if Larry King retires when his contract expires in 18 months. Some want Ryan Seacrest, for some reason, but he's too damn expensive. [Page Six]
  
  
• Has Jude Law banned the media from asking him about his new bastard child? [Page Six]
  
  
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom, who have been together for a month, are now officially married. Bleck. And it's the gays who threaten the institution of marriage? [TMZ]
  
  
• A jewelry company offered Vivica A. Fox a $50,000 necklace, but Fox refused by saying she'll buy it with her next pay check. That woman always had one foot out of reality.... [Page Six]
  
  
• Kate Moss wants to be a rock star. [The Sun]
  
  
• The band The Get Up Kids, who were huge in the 90s, have taken credit for emo music and offered an apology for spawning a wave of endless shit, like Fall Out Boy. Hey, that's an admission of guilt — can we sue for all the emotional distress? [Guardian]
  
  
• Jeremy London, an actor who once seemed like a big, big star, but was really just a frivolous 90s celebrity, owes American Express $20,000. [TMZ]

Stephanie Pratt has had it with self-involved people who add nothing to the world other than fake drama. Pratt is the sister of fellow reality-TV person Spencer Pratt, but apparently was referring in this case to Perez Hilton.

Yes, Mediaite's Rachel Sklar misdirected her DM to all of Twitter. But the earnest Canadian blogger is genuinely curious how you're doing, entire world!

Actress Marlee Matlin would like Kanye West's lips to do some apologizing.

Someone lied to blog mogul Om Malik.

Larry King's southpaw tweet, a trademark non sequitur, could have used a "DEVELOPING..."

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

We reported a little over a month ago that the Today show had booked Blagojevich to appear on the morning he happened to be arrested by the FBI, but bumped the interview so they could flack for Jay Leno's new show. We found that out through a Freedom of Information Act request to the state of Illinois asking for e-mails from representatives of the media to Lucio Guerrero, Blagojevich's press secretary (we got the idea from South Carolina's The State, which did the same thing—to comic effect—after Mark Sanford's Argentinian Rhapsody).

The first raft of e-mails we got were from December 8, the day before Blagojevich got popped, and it included one from Today producer Lexi Dauber apologetically canceling a scheduled remote Q-and-A with Matt Lauer to make room for Leno news. We just got another batch covering the 48 hours after the arrest, and guess what? Dauber and her fellow Today producer Stephanie Siegel all of a sudden really wanted to talk to Blagojevich!

The traditional route for a reporter desperately trying to convince someone to submit to an interview when it's obviously not in their interest to do so is to drop all pretense of toughness and objectivity and lie to them: We will be your friend! Not like all those other mean reporters. While Dauber and Seigel's e-mails to Guerrero are understandably sympathetic, an internal write-up of a phone call with Siegel outlining the terms of her interview request shows what they were really willing to give up. Matt Lauer or Meredith Vieira would call Blagojevich before the interview to "go over the line of questions," and Seigel stressed that "they are sensitive."

CBS's Early Show also went the simpering route, telling Guerrero that there is "far too much hearsay going around" and offering Blagojevich an opportunity to "set the record straight" and "clear his own name." They were even willing to "rent a private space to keep him away from the rest of the media's view." We all know how annoying prying reporters can be.

ABC News' Diane Sawyer, on the other hand, didn't try to buddy up to Blago. To her credit, Sawyer's producer offered a fairly straightforward pitch that managed to avoid over-the-top sycophancy.

Larry King's producer relied on the rogue's gallery that has traipsed through King's studio in the past, positioning the host as the go-to guy for crooks, liars, and other humiliated figures—go with us and you can be in the fine company of Jeffrey Skilling, Gary Condit, and Bob Packwood!

King's CNN colleague Anderson Cooper wasn't even trying: His producers sent in a perfunctory, We-asked-Governor-Blagojevich-to-come-on-the-show requests that they knew weren't going to open any doors.

Likewise the producer for CNN's Campbell Brown dashed off an email that would allow her to dutifully report that a request was in.

Sometimes brevity is your best bet when dealing with a harried flack who's clearly deluged with requests. That's what Andy Shaw, a political reporter for Chicago's local ABC station, decided to go with.

That kind of approach is important when you know your target is dealing with all manner of zany proposals. Like a request for comment from "a representative for Dan Ackroyd [sic] and Jim Belushi" on their call for Blagojevich's resignation. When a press aide forwarded that message to the governor's press assistant, she responded, "What? I want you to explain."

(For the record, it looks like that was a hoax call—we can't find any evidence that one-half of the Blues Brothers and the talentless brother of the other, dead, half ever made such a demand.)

The most pathetic request comes from Pat Curry, the news assignment editor for WGN, a local Chicago station. He wasn't even asking for an interview with Blagojevich—he wanted Guerrero himself to come on, and delivered a masterwork of flattery and faux sympathy. "I wouldn't expect you to be able to comment on a federal investigation, and could easily brush that off," Curry wrote, signing off with, "Humbly, Pat Curry."

A producer for a local Chicago talk radio show hosted by husband-and-wife pair Don and Roma Wade wins the award for discretion, declining to put in writing the "incredible offer" he had for Guerrero.

We'll never know what that offer was, but guess who got the first post-arrest interview with disgraced Gov. Rod Blagojevich?

You can read the whole batch here. Interestingly, not one e-mail from Fox News turned up. It could be that they relied solely on the phone, or that their e-mails somehow got missed by our FOIA requests. Or maybe they figured it wasn't worth trying.

King patiently walked Hall through the tale of how when she was 25 years old, Garrido got in her car as she came out of a grocery store, jostling aside her shopping bags and then directed her down a deserted side side street, before handcuffing her and slamming her head against the steering well.

Then finally, having set the scene, King was able to ask the question on America's mind.

Thanks to anokaything for the tip.

• Doug Reinhardt rented an island or something in order to win back America's tainted love, Paris Hilton. Paris, of course, loves being treated like a princess and is gushing all over the place about it. [Sun]
  
  
• Sienna Miller may have finally found someone to love her and he's known as the "Slinky Wizard." This mystery man is a DJ (Of course he is!) named DJ George Barker, who supposedly specializes in trance music. And hey — he's single! [Mirror]
  
  
• Brad Pitt was so busy signing a new contract with the Weinstein's at the Inglorious Bastards premiere that poor Angelina had to spend her time talking to Eli Roth. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Jermaine Jackson is still trying to organize some sort of tribute to Michael Jackson with the help of Larry King's wife Shawn, of all people. [Page Six]
  
  
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are jaunting around in Barcelona with their hands all over each other in public, even putting their hands on each other's asses at one point! [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Blanket Jackson's surrogate mother has been revealed to be a Mexican nurse named Helena. Supposedly Jackson liked her because she was attractive and Latina. Who knew Michael liked Latin ladies?! [Mirror]
  
  
• Our old pal James Frey has written some sort of novel about a man some believe to be the messiah. [Page Six]
  
  
• Russell Brand says that he's looking for a woman who has a "high pain threshold." [Mirror]
  
  
• Justin Timberlake has purchased a 13,500 square foot home in Greenwich, CT. It was originally listed at $23.9-million but closed for $18.7-million. [Page Six]
  
  
• Rumors are swirling that Paula Abdul could end up at ABC in some capacity, including as a guest star on Ugly Betty. [TMZ]

Frankly, this may have been the most entertaining segment on Larry King Live since the fossilized lizard himself gave Marlon Brando a handjob on the air. Between Griffin's steady barrage of sexual innuendo, thinly veiled references to post-date Levi-banging, combined with Levi's seemingly endless "aw shucks" blushes and sheepish grins, this was fun television from beginning to end. Long live Kathy and Levi. May the white-hot flame of their love never be extinguished.

Praise be to the lord and all that is holy, Couric turned Jackson down, probably because he was a pedophile and also because he had "weird tape on his nose."

If the thought of Couric and Michael Jackson enjoying a romantic evening together isn't nauseating enough for you, you need turn only to this clip of Larry King on Jimmy Kimmel's show from two weeks ago, wherein King recounts his 1981 date with a young Couric in Washington, D.C., and actually utters the following words: "Once, I did Katie Couric."

Again with all appropriate praise to the TV gods, King misspoke: He did not "do" Couric, who is 24 years younger than King, because "I thought we were going to go up to the apartment, Katie and I, but she said she had a roommate." Naturally, Kimmel asked why King didn't go for the threesome. Sweet dreams tonight, kids!

Speaking about Dr. Gates' behavior, Powell said the following:

I think Skip, perhaps in this instance, might have waited a while, come outside, talked to the officer and that might have been the end of it. I think he should have reflected on whether or not this was the time to make that big a deal...There is no African-American in this county who has not been exposed to this kind of situation. Do you get angry? Yes. Do you manifest that anger? Do you protest? Do you try to get things fixed? But it's the better course of action to try and take it easy and don't let your anger make the current situation worse.

Powell also offered some criticism of the Cambridge Police Department's behavior:

I think in this case the situation was made much more difficult on the part of the Cambridge Police Department. Once they felt they had to bring Dr. Gates out of the house and to handcuff him, I would've thought at that point, some adult supervision would have stepped in and said 'ok look, it is his house. Let's not take this any further, take the handcuffs off, good night Dr. Gates.'

Powell then went on to tell King about his own personal history with racial profiling. All in all it was quite an interesting interview, as most interviews with Colin Powell tend to be these days.

• The fairy tale romance between Dallas Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson has come to an end after he dumped her on the night before her birthday. Love is officially dead, y'all! Hey but Nick Lachey is single again too! [Daily News]
  
  
• Poor Renee Zellweger. She went out in the Hamptons to the shitty Hamptons club Lily Pond over the weekend and left early at 1:30, taking off in a car all by herself. Why won't anyone bang Renee Zellweger? [Page Six]
  
  
• Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies. She says that she had to drink an entire bottle of champagne to get through Transformers 2. Us too! [Daily News]
  
  
• Larry King's wife Shawn is a finalist for one of the lead roles in the new Spiderman musical set to open on Broadway next year. [Page Six]
  
  
• Quentin Tarantino says that he plans to retire from directing when he turns 60 because directors only get worse with age. [Daily News]
  
  
• Michael Jackson's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, has struck a deal with Michael's mother to keep Joe Jackson's crazy ass from getting anywhere near Michael's kids. [Mirror]
  
  
• After 8 months of living on an island in an effort to get clean, Amy Winehouse has returned to the UK just as much of a mess as she ever was. We look forward to all the great London tabloid photos surely to come featuring Amy staggering in the streets. [Sun]
  
  
• All the hair extension jobs might be causing Lindsay Lohan to lose her hair. And we're sure that the drugs and questionable sanity have nothing to do with it as well. [Mirror]
  
  
• Nicole Richie went to the beach with Joel Madden and wore a two piece to show off her ginormous baby bump. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Speaking of the beach, my fellow Cajun Ali Landry is still arguably the most beautiful girl in the world. [WWTDD]

And the answer to all of this is—A crew member walked passed a lighting fixture, creating a shadow on the wall. Yep, that's it, just as any person with moderate levels of oxygen flowing to the brain should have deduced on their own. But thanks for getting to the bottom of this CNN. We'll all sleep much easier tonight.

This whole Michael Jackson thing can't end soon enough.

• Lindsay Lohan, America's favorite walking Petri dish of human social disease, has been celebrating her birthday for weeks now it seems, but this weekend is finally the official birthday party, and she's being paid $70,000 to host a party for herself at the MGM Grand in Vegas. [Page Six]
  
  
• Meghan McCain's sure to be shitty book isn't even out yet but she's already laying it down that she wants Hillary Duff to play her in the movie Hollywood makes out of the book because she's "really hot." Oh, and she wants Bradley Cooper to be in it to because he's "so hot." Meghan McCain is Paris Hilton. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Farrah Fawcett was laid to rest yesterday. Her former Charlie's Angels co-stars turned out and her son Redmond was released from jail for the funeral. [Sun]
  
  
• The photographer who took the photos of Michael Jackson on stage during his last rehearsal says that Michael felt reborn and energized to be on stage again and performed for an hour and a half without a glitch. [Mirror]
  
  
• Creepy old lizard Larry King refuses to fly on commercial planes. Instead he gets around by private jet, which is probably a good thing, because who'd want to sit next to Larry King on a cross-country flight? [Page Six]
  
  
• Courtney Love's doctors have diagnosed her with having malnutrition and basically told her that she needs to get some meat and potatoes in her or she's going to die. [Mirror]
  
  
• Fox is really desperate to hold on to Simon Cowell for the next season of American Idol. So much so that they're offering him $144 million bucks, 4 times the $36 million he made last season, to stick around. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Former New York Times head honcho Howell Raines is spending his days fishing in the creek like an old country hick. [Page Six]
  
  
• Some British billionaire's wife had to be carried out of Guy Ritchie's pub after she partied the night away with young buck Justin Timberlake. Jessica Biel was not reported to be around. [Daily Mail]

1.) Moms and Their Boxed Wine
After staging an intervention for her son, this woman's family then staged one for her over her Xanax addiction. She didn't want to go to rehab because of the its strict no-alcohol policy.

2.) Does Joan Rivers realize that perhaps she's gone too far with the cosmetic procedures?

3.) Did you like the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion shows?

But it sucks that they never revealed what exactly Danielle "tried" to do to Dina that Caroline was freaking out about. From the way Caroline told it, Danielle took a hit out on her. But that doesn't seem realistic. Danielle sort of hinted at what it might on her blog:

I had no idea at the time what "disgraceful" acts she was referring to. I only found out later what she was talking about, from someone in her own family. I simply gave a phone number to her ex brother-in-law to contact proper people with questions that he had concerning something that was absolutely none of my business. I was asked to give this information to him.

4.) Cop Without a Badge Guy Talks
Danielle's ex-husband, Kevin Maher, who gave up all the dirt on her in "The Book" was on The Insider talking about how Danielle is "a bisexual." She didn't really deny it though.

5.) Promise Piercings
Kids are expressing their love for each other in new and different ways, like piercings…

…And emails.

6.) More Kid Stuff
NYC Prep was alright, but not great, IMO. But I did really like this girl, who is friends with one of the cast members, but not part of the cast herself. She's down town/to earth.

She seems tipsy.

And I love the way she communicates.

7.) Snoop's Statement On Michael Jackson

8.) Snoop Getting Off The Phone




9.) Larry King And "My daddy, P. Daddy"

10.) Reading: With Kathie Lee & Hoda