Greenspan actually needs to shut up. He is a smart man, but people act as though he is still the Fed Chairman. The big difference is that when he was the Fed Chairman he was being advised by a hundred different economists. Although he is still able to make an informed opinion about the economy, asking him about the economic climate now is like bringing your battle plans to Napoleon at the Isle of Wight and asking him how to win your war. It wouldn't be a problem if people could take what Greenspan says with a grain of salt. He is a smart man, but driving the economy is no longer his full time job.
Why does he look oddly like a Japanese apparatchik, circa when the Japanese banking system was descending into its interminable zombie senescence? Maybe he's the Zen master who's useless but kept around out of respect?
I ran into a famous man I used to know one day in the line at the Bangkok starbucks and he said to me "now is the winter of our discontent" but as I was boarding my Singapore Air first class flight home I was suddenly pounded by a lightning bolt of thought: "but discontent can happen in summer too", and then a second bolt struck in exactly the same place: Summer and "sumner" are only two letters apart! So if this can be our summer of economic discontent, maybe it can also be our Sumner of economic discontent! I whipped out my HP Pavilion tx2500z tablet, cleared my food tray of delicious Fanta drinks, and quickly scribbled this note to my good friend Salman Rushdie. I got an out of office auto-reply which is strange because I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an office but this happens to me all the time with Salman. He's such a joker. If you're reading this Salman, you still owe me that blurb!
In any case, when we look at the Market what you see are a series of flattened bubbles that are wired together by telecommunications. Things I like to call "flabubcoms". In the hot world of crowded warming, these flabubcoms become pressed together, making them both flatter and closer to each other, which reduces the length of the wires connecting their flat bubbles and so brings the global olive lexus more towards a pinnacle of electronic enlightenment. Of course, as any idiot would know, you can't simply flat-press a series of flabubcoms without taking it up with Mother NAture. And Mother Nature, despite being starved and beaten for years, remains our mother.
And this brings us up to today, and our SUMNER of economic discontent. Lawrence Sumner is a man who, while fully realizing the hyperinflation of flabubcoms, must also strive to mother our mother Mother Nature. Of course this is a tiring job, often resulting in Sumner staying up until three in the morning. I see him every so often when I play Halo 2 on Xbox live. Under the screen name "Sumnolicious". Larry, I urge you and the new administration to put down the Xbox controller and to pick up the Xbox controller of our economy. Because this recession needs to be struck with the plasma sword of economic stimulus, and that can't happen if you're falling asleep on the ball. Because that ball is round, and if you fall asleep on it, you'll fall off it. And onto the hot, flat, crowded, be-bubbled world of our discontent.
@Smitros: haha. I kind of hope this makes the front page because it sort of makes me sad to devote 20 minutes to writing a tommy (can you hear me) Friedman parody and have it spiral into obscurity so quickly.
@Awesome X: Please don't use the "b" word. It gets thrown around a lot. If you like it, just say you found it funny. That's the highest compliment I can get.
And thanks! I love writing the Friedmanese articles. Someday I'm going to troll back through my old comments, and copy paste them into one huge manuscript, then send it in to the Pulitzer committee.
@Pope John Peeps II: I need your Friedman. Truly, I do. Desperately. It's a phenomenon I call "Friepeepsneedman." Oh wait. Hold on. I've got to go check out this text from Johanna Sigurdardottir, the lesbian prime minister of Iceland. BRB!
The fawning article in The New Republic (4/1) said that he sleeps very little, although it neglected to say how much. Your "eight hours of sleep per night as recommended" is not only very funny when put that way, it’s also, actually, a good idea.
The TNR anecdote:
"As at Harvard, Summers functions on exceedingly little
sleep. (A former student told me Summers once praised his dedication after noticing he'd run a computation at 4 a.m.; the student didn't have the heart to tell him he'd queued it up at six the night before.) To power through the day, Summers relies on a punishing Diet Coke regimen. The combination of fatigue and extreme caffeine intake can produce the occasional verbal and physical tic: Summers is a chronic foottapper and sometimes turns over words and clauses like an engine that won't start." (Noam Scheiber, "Free Larry Summers," TNR, 4/1/09)
@iplaudius: Like most so-called workaholics, he probably spends much of the time he should be sleeping with the spreadsheet and Word doc minimized and Firefox queued to YouPorn.
@Awesome X: Haven’t studies shown that most American "workaholics" waste several hours a day chatting, web surfing, and commenting on sites like this one?
I don't know why people are so impressed at big important people who sleep little. A minimum amount of sleep is necessary to maintain cognitive capability. Obviously, Summers is not getting enough.
@Paddington: Yeah, I had a boss just like this who would brag up how hard he worked and how little sleep he needed -- and then fell asleep during every meeting.
Why is there this idolatry of things like waking up early, sleeping very little, working every waking minute, etc, when they're unhealthy and untenable for lots of people? Puritanism? Masochism? Machoism?
@Goethewritesdrivel: Oh, I don't really care if he's a sexist. In reality, I think he's simply a guy who's earned a lot of degrees and money despite being mildly stupid. It's just that I've been meaning to use the term "electric vagina" for weeks now, and this was a decent opportunity. So, yeah.
@Awesome X: I don't think Lawrence Summers is stupid. You must be very, very intelligent to become a tenured Harvard Professor at 28(!). It just so happened that like the careers of many top economists, his intersected with politics, thus exposing him to all manner of public fault-finding.
08/07/09
08/07/09
08/07/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
I can't be bothered with that hippie shit. It's not happening. Grow up."
04/23/09
I ran into a famous man I used to know one day in the line at the Bangkok starbucks and he said to me "now is the winter of our discontent" but as I was boarding my Singapore Air first class flight home I was suddenly pounded by a lightning bolt of thought: "but discontent can happen in summer too", and then a second bolt struck in exactly the same place: Summer and "sumner" are only two letters apart! So if this can be our summer of economic discontent, maybe it can also be our Sumner of economic discontent! I whipped out my HP Pavilion tx2500z tablet, cleared my food tray of delicious Fanta drinks, and quickly scribbled this note to my good friend Salman Rushdie. I got an out of office auto-reply which is strange because I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an office but this happens to me all the time with Salman. He's such a joker. If you're reading this Salman, you still owe me that blurb!
In any case, when we look at the Market what you see are a series of flattened bubbles that are wired together by telecommunications. Things I like to call "flabubcoms". In the hot world of crowded warming, these flabubcoms become pressed together, making them both flatter and closer to each other, which reduces the length of the wires connecting their flat bubbles and so brings the global olive lexus more towards a pinnacle of electronic enlightenment. Of course, as any idiot would know, you can't simply flat-press a series of flabubcoms without taking it up with Mother NAture. And Mother Nature, despite being starved and beaten for years, remains our mother.
And this brings us up to today, and our SUMNER of economic discontent. Lawrence Sumner is a man who, while fully realizing the hyperinflation of flabubcoms, must also strive to mother our mother Mother Nature. Of course this is a tiring job, often resulting in Sumner staying up until three in the morning. I see him every so often when I play Halo 2 on Xbox live. Under the screen name "Sumnolicious". Larry, I urge you and the new administration to put down the Xbox controller and to pick up the Xbox controller of our economy. Because this recession needs to be struck with the plasma sword of economic stimulus, and that can't happen if you're falling asleep on the ball. Because that ball is round, and if you fall asleep on it, you'll fall off it. And onto the hot, flat, crowded, be-bubbled world of our discontent.
Stupidly yours,
Thomas Friedman
04/23/09
Standing ovation.
04/23/09
04/23/09
On the other hand, he sometimes writes Friedman parodies twice a week.
Before I forget, you were mixing metaphors like a real economist. Harder than it looks.
04/23/09
04/23/09
And thanks! I love writing the Friedmanese articles. Someday I'm going to troll back through my old comments, and copy paste them into one huge manuscript, then send it in to the Pulitzer committee.
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
The TNR anecdote:
"As at Harvard, Summers functions on exceedingly little
sleep. (A former student told me Summers once praised his dedication after noticing he'd run a computation at 4 a.m.; the student didn't have the heart to tell him he'd queued it up at six the night before.) To power through the day, Summers relies on a punishing Diet Coke regimen. The combination of fatigue and extreme caffeine intake can produce the occasional verbal and physical tic: Summers is a chronic foottapper and sometimes turns over words and clauses like an engine that won't start." (Noam Scheiber, "Free Larry Summers," TNR, 4/1/09)
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
I don't know why people are so impressed at big important people who sleep little. A minimum amount of sleep is necessary to maintain cognitive capability. Obviously, Summers is not getting enough.
04/23/09
Why is there this idolatry of things like waking up early, sleeping very little, working every waking minute, etc, when they're unhealthy and untenable for lots of people? Puritanism? Masochism? Machoism?
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09
04/23/09