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German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
BusinessWeek Layoffs Make Fools of Optimists
Rumors: Staff Shuffles at New York Post, Sports Illustrated
Fox News Anchor Gets Real Job With The Onion
BusinessWeek Names New Editor, Starts Layoffs (Perhaps) (Updated)
Hearst Is Amazingly Not Broke
Glenn Beck Survives
EW Layoffs
Time Inc. Layoffs Hit People, Essence
Time Inc. Layoffs Finally Quantified: 400-500, With Plush Buyouts

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snugbug
11/20/09

In reply to German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
Did anyone else get the "Pimmel über Berlin" (Penis over Berlin) pun? It riffs on "Der Himmel über Berlin" (The Heaven over Berlin) title of that famous Wim Wenders film aka Wings of Desire.

No? Just me? OK, I'm a dork.
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BunnySkull
11/20/09

In reply to German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
Now why doesn't the NYT do a Murdoch mural like that on the side of their building? These German are taking us to school on how a real editorial feud is handled.
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Hiroine Protagonist
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
Thanks Aristotle.
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shostakobitch
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
After Sarah Palin outrages the very last person on earth and a certain newly dead French anthropologist's predictions come to pass, new species will evolve on this planet to cope with ever-changing conditions. These animals might be intelligent enough to foster their own version of society. Perhaps even a society superior to ours according to however one might judge such things.

However, inevitably, the sun will explode and turn Earth into a cinder. Any fragment of humanity that might have existed will be vaporized. All that will remain will be some vestigial Voyager-like exploration spacecraft and radio signals that get asymptotically weaker with each light year they travel.

So really, Umberto Eco's reasons why lists provide us with an illusion of order in nature and immortality are the same reasons we watch "Sex Rehab w/ Dr. Drew" or listen to Kendra Jade ride the Sybian; because we are witnessing what will certainly be the last evidence of humanity. And the gravity of that is undeniable.
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Edited by shostakobitch at 11/20/09 2:48 PM shostakobitch was starred shostakobitch was unstarred

blix
11/20/09

@shostakobitch: Golly, you should write books for children.
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shostakobitch
11/20/09

@blix: i do. this is john lithgow.

#tips
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TedSez
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
30 Red-Hot Sex Secrets!
15 Power Foods That Fight Fat!
10 Fantastic Beauty Tips From Around the World!
5 Ab Moves That Really Work!
1 Way to Convince Yourself That Life Isn't a Great Big Chaotic Mess, Despite All Evidence to the Contrary!
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blix
11/20/09

@TedSez: Reminds me to renew my subscription to Men's Health.
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Pope John Peeps II
11/20/09

@blix: I always wonder though "aren't there ONLY 5 ab moves"? I mean, how many could there possibly be that don't actually work? And how many could there really be in total.

Is there really some rube out there doing the "180 degree backwards standing ab fold spine breaking crunch"?
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blix
11/20/09

@Pope John Peeps II: There is and he's totally ripped.
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senatormayer
11/20/09

In reply to German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
That's what trying to conquer the world does to a country. You wind up with cocks on the sides of buildings.
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Edited by senatormayer at 11/20/09 2:23 PM senatormayer was starred senatormayer was unstarred

Pope John Peeps II
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
Queen's list of things to do:

1) have myself a real good time
2) float around in ecstasy
3) be shooting star leaping through the skies
4) defy laws of gravity (like a tiger)
5) be a racing car passing by (like Lady Godiva)
6) go go go
7) burn through skies
8) YEAH! (note: two hundred degrees)
9) travel at speed of light
10) make a supersonic man out of you
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Edited by Pope John Peeps II at 11/20/09 2:16 PM Pope John Peeps II was starred

goetz
11/20/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Journey's list of things She loves:

1) to laugh
2) to sing
3) everything
4) to move
5) to groove
6) the loving things
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forwardmotion
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
Love his writing, and now he has even explained my List habit. That Umberto knows where it's at.
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snugbug
11/20/09

@forwardmotion: He's a semiotics professor. He's an expert in the science of visual symbols. Visual symbolism impacts our lives in profound ways that we can seldom consciously acknowledge.
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Edited by snugbug at 11/20/09 2:31 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

hilikusopus
11/20/09

@snugbug: That was too wordy, snugbug. Is there a symbol that would've sufficed?
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snugbug
11/20/09

@hilikusopus: ‡
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forwardmotion
11/21/09

@snugbug: Wooord! Where it's at!
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/20/09

In reply to German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
Also, read between the lines on the GMA item: The staffers are concerned about the show's basketball team as much as anything else.
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belltolls
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
List of Alfred of Alsace

1) Get plague booster shot
2) Ravish maiden
3) Fire full-time serfs; go to work-for- hire model
4) Ravish maiden
5) Challenge Oldo of Omvaria to a joust
6) Cancel joust
7) Write checks to serfs
8) Forget to make bank deposit
9) Kill serfs
10) Ravish maiden
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snugbug
11/20/09

@belltolls: You sooo totally invented "Alfred of Alsace." Hilarious! But why not employ an actual real historical character depicted by Umberto Eco in a work of fiction? I.e., Jacques de Molay, the last Grand Master of the Order of the Knights Templar? Here's his list:

1. Vacation on the Isle of Cyprus!
2. Decide the Crusades are stoopid.
3. Have strategically "diplomatic" dinner with Pope Boniface VIII, laugh at his lame jokes
4. Piss off the King of France
5. Get arrested, get tortured GITMO-style, get forced to admit that the Knights Templar are an order of devil-worshiping homosexuals.
6. Defiantly recant aforementioned statements in open trial.
7. REALLLLY piss off both the Pope and the king of France.
7. Get burned at the stake.
8. (Epilogue) When the head of French King Louis XVI was severed by the guillotine during the French Revolution, an anonymous person reportedly jumped on the gallows and shouted, "Jacques de Molay is avenged!"
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belltolls
11/20/09

@snugbug: 'Cause mine's funnier?
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snugbug
11/20/09

@belltolls: That's for me to judge, not for you to say.
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belltolls
11/20/09

@snugbug: Heh. This reminds me of the old suck.com line...a fish, a barrel and a smoking gun. I don't know why.
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AndPreciousLittleofThat
11/20/09

In reply to Four Ways Listicles Make Us Immortal, According to Umberto Eco
I am a big fan of Eco's work, and I gotta say I definitely agree with his theory. I don't think lists are the be-all-end-all of human existence, but making lists is one of the things which has actually made my life better.

I've worked with, and against, depression for the past decade, and apart from medication and CBT work, the biggest thing keeping my life on track is the little 3x5 card I keep in my pocket with all my to-do stuff. I re-write the card every night and carry over the stuff I haven't done yet. It's helped immensely, and the satisfaction of checking a thing off the list is a great feeling.

Thanks, Umberto!
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/20/09

In reply to German Newspaper Feud Gets Penis-y
Right, because cobras have hoods, just like European wieners.
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Volsciana
11/20/09

In reply to The Vice Guide to Creating a Successful Publishing Empire
How soon until they start producing 'Teen-Vice' complete with interns staring on an MTV reality show
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
11/20/09

In reply to AP Layoffs: Final Thoughts
"Probably the most striking thing about these layoffs was the high number of victims who were 10, 20, or 30-year-plus veterans of the AP."

Of course they went for the olds. Old=expensive. Never mind the experience, skill, institutional knowledge, value, etc
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Sergio Hernandez
11/20/09

@If_I_Had_a_Poodle: This.

And I actually personally know two people, both 20-something college grads, who just interviewed for the AP's summer internship, too.

That they laid off so many veterans is no surprise. It's an easy way to hire more "employees" for less money and obligation. You don't get health benefits or severance pay when you're just a longtime "intern," after all.
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Edited by Sergio Hernandez at 11/20/09 11:10 AM Sergio Hernandez was starred Sergio Hernandez was unstarred

If_I_Had_a_Poodle
11/20/09

@Sergio Hernandez: Huge expansions with "freelancers' is what the entire news business did in the -80s and the internet wasn't even invented yet. It was so blatantly and egregiously an effort to avoid paying fair wages and offering decent benefits that the Labor Dept busted a lot of them for it.

#tips
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
11/20/09

@Sergio Hernandez: Huge expansions with "freelancers' is what the entire news business did in the -80s and the internet wasn't even invented yet. It was so blatantly and egregiously an effort to avoid paying fair wages and offering decent benefits that the Labor Dept busted a lot of them for it.

#newspapers #greed #unionbusting #destroyingjobs
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lionel-mandrake
11/20/09

In reply to The Vice Guide to Creating a Successful Publishing Empire
Here's the problem with tagging your business model to one particular demo, especially a demo with as particular and flighty and as generationally specific an aesthetic as the Gen-Y hipster set. Eventually they get tired your product, or outgrow it, or somehow you start missing the boat on whatever whimsical bullshit the new trend is. Then you can't give your product away.

Hope those Vice guys are socking the money away, because I figure they have five years left, tops. Why five? Because that's when the main body of hipsters start having to go straight, start getting married, start having kids, start needing real jobs, and when the trust funds start running out.
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SunanditaSquirrel
11/20/09

@lionel-mandrake: And there are no younger folks to take the places of aging hipsters. Got it.
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Lowboy
11/20/09

@lionel-mandrake: If you've been paying any attention at all to what Vice has been doing (VBS, ahem) over the last few years, you'd know the level of "whimsical bullshit" is at an all-time low. The don't-give-a-shit tone is still there but the topics are heavy hitters.
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lionel-mandrake
11/20/09

@SunanditaSquirrel: Did you read the words "generationally specific" in what I wrote?

Meaning, once the very specific and narrow generation to which Vice pitches itself, outgrows the Vice product, they will no longer consume the Vice product.

Unless, of course, they can make the transition into staying relevant to next bunch of hipster twats who come along.

#tips
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lionel-mandrake
11/20/09

@Lowboy: Truthfully, no, I haven't paid attention at all. I couldn't be less interested.

#tips
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Volsciana
11/20/09

@lionel-mandrake: Don’t forget – its not just the population of Williamsburg reading it, it has a major global circulation (it’s actually hard to avoid in the UK, you find it stocked just about everywhere).

I totally disagree with your five year theory - When I was 16/17 I used to read Vice - I haven’t touched it for years now (I’d much rather read about it on Gawker), but now I find my little brother who’s 17 reads it avidly....and so on…
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Lowboy
11/20/09

@lionel-mandrake: Hmm... Interesting that you have an opinion worth writing on something that you couldn't be less interested in. I do, however, like your name/icon so I"ll let it slide this time.

Seriously, though. Perhaps you should give it another go. It's not all tits and cocaine anymore. Just some tits and cocaine.
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