Reports The Register:

The muzzling of Scientology IPs marks the first time Wikipedia has officially barred edits from such a high-profile organization for allegedly pushing its own agenda on the site.

The Church of Scientology has not responded to our request for comment.

According to evidence turned up by admins in this long-running Wikiland court case, multiple editors have been "openly editing [Scientology-related articles] from Church of Scientology equipment and apparently coordinating their activities." Leaning on the famed WikiScanner, countless news stories have discussed the editing of Scientology articles from Scientology IPs, and some site admins are concerned this is "damaging Wikipedia's reputation for neutrality."

The article goes on to explain how the Church Of Scientology operates their little internet spin operation, thanks to testimony provided by a former insider turned informant.

A former member of Scientology's Office of Special Affairs - a department officially responsible "for directing and coordinating all legal matters affecting the Church" - says the Office has organized massive efforts to remove Scientology-related materials and criticism from the web.

"The guys I worked with posted every day all day," Tory Christman tells The Reg. "It was like a machine. I worked with someone who used five separate computers, five separate anonymous identities...to refute any facts from the internet about the Church of Scientology."

This is all fine and good but sooner or later the Scientologists will learn out that all they need to do is send over Leah Remini or Jenna Elfman to give Jimmy Wales a blowjob and all of this will go away. Surely they'd take one for the Xenu team.

Or they could just go to the Apple Store and use their computers. That's what we do whenever we've got shady shit to conduct on the internet anyway.

Wikipedia Bans Scientology [The Register]

Gore Verbinski, who's directed some of the biggest hits in Hollywood from Mousehunt to The Mexican (oh, kidding, also The Ring) will not direct the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He directed the first three, but now he's done. He wants to take time to sit down, have a glass of red wine, gather his creative thoughts, and do something artistic. Like directing Bioshock, a movie based on a videogame. One for us, one for you, Gore. [Variety] Meanwhile Larry Charles, the fellow behind Borat, Bruno, and Curb Your Enthusiasm, has settled on his next movie. It's called Winter's Discontent. And it's about old people fucking. So. [Variety]

The sexy hunk of undead flesh from Moonlight, Alex O'Loughlin, has landed the starring role in the next Jennifer Q. Lopez film. It's about artificial insemination and, one would assume, big butts. [Variety] Sexy glowing green hunk of space rocks Leah Remini, who whirs like a spaceship and can speak Venusian, has landed a role in the hilarious-sounding ABC comedy pilot Don't Try This at Home (like the warning thing from things!). It's about, get this wacky plot, marriage and relationships and having kids in the suburbia and stuff. I know it sounds really out there, but give it a chance. I mean, we need new ideas in these worrisome times. [THR]

Notoriously short actor Al Pacino will be playing notoriously short warmonger Napoleon in a new film to be directed by the guy who did The Painted Veil. I just want to see Pacino in the hat. That's all. [THR] Speaking of power-mad world leaders who will stop at nothing to slake their unslakable bloodthirst, Sony has picked up international distribution rights for the new documentary We the People: The Election of Barack Obama. The filmmaker, sadly, has been missing since he turned in a print of the polemic to his producers, six months ago. He's expected to be found in a ditch somewhere in Colombia, his head cut off. Because that's the kind of guy Obama is. Just awful. [THR]

According to Us, both Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have been sighted lately without their wedding rings on, the Hollywood equivalent of wearing a novelty t-shirt that says, "DON'T ASK ME ABOUT MY FAILING MARRIAGE" in block type. So who's to blame, and who's ready to offer her friend a comforting e-meter to cry to?

Lopez — who once commanded $15 million per film — "blames Marc for her career going down the tubes," says a mutual pal, adding that she's bitter about the failure of their 2006 drama, El Cantante, which only grossed $7.5 million. (Her 2002 flick Maid in Manhattan earned over $94 million.)

"Jennifer looked around and said, 'This is my life now? I'm a Long Island housewife?'" a pal says. "She hates that everything she worked for went down the tubes."

Lopez isn't the only one with growing resentment toward her husband. Her best friend, Leah Remini, also can't stand him.

"It if was up to her, Leah would just break them up today," a pal says.

Duly noted, "Leah Remini's pal"! We had wondered why Lopez hadn't worked in film since 2006, and now we know who to send flowers to was responsible. However, we question the logic behind fleeing one controlling home for a Scientology-approved safe house. J-Lo, you may think you want your acting career back, but is a recurring guest arc on My Name is Earl really the best comeback you can muster?

• EXCLUSIVE: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's Marriage at "Breaking Point" [Us]

"Scientologists don't believe in shrinks. Would you ever call on Scientology if you were having [emotional] problems again?" I ask.

"I do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. It's very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it."

"Do you consider yourself a Scientologist?"

"No."

"If you were, would you be open about it?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have a problem saying it because I know what it is. I have no problems with it and it really actually bothers me that people have such a negative feeling towards it."

"That it is too exotic? Too cultish?"

"Just negative feelings."

"Would you consider schooling Emme and Max in a Scientology school?" I ask.

"Yeah. I wouldn't mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful… It's all about communication. That's the thing I really don't like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion…I just wish that people wouldn't judge it without knowing what it is."

Sounds like someone's been comparing notes with Will Smith! Though Lopez still seems to clam up somewhat when asked about Scientology, we'd wager that she's merely saving the good stuff for her TLC reality show. Why blow your wad in an interview on Tina Brown's headache-inducing HuffPo competitor when you could spin a season-long arc (culminating in a finale featuring Jenna Elfman, Nancy Cartwright, and Erika Christensen in a girls' spa day/niacin purification ritual) out of the same material?

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Behind the Glow [The Daily Beast]

Nicole Richie was back to her old uber-thin self just two weeks after Harlow graced us with her presence earlier this year, and Jamie Pressly openly admitted to losing 42 pounds in 12 weeks by "only eating cabbage soup." The rest?

After having Moses, the current nudie pic exhibitionist says she makes sure all those pounds which initially "horrified" her remain at bay due to her after-hours habit of downing red wine and passing out in the garden. Who has time to eat when you're unconscious? Hubbard Formula aficionado Leah Remini claims to have lost a whopping 80 pounds in only six weeks after ordering something eerily called the 1st Personal Diet. Remini told TV Guide, "It's determined by the metabolic rate of your blood, and then they send you a diet on your e-mail." Why hasn't anyone informed Oprah of her computer's flesh-zapping knowledge?

Jennifer Lopez made a public appearance looking just like J. Lo circa Diddy only a month after popping those expensive twins out, and reportedly managed the vanishing act by shelling out $50k on a home gym, not to mention hiring a team of trainers, nutritionists and Baby Weight Loss experts to presumably make sure she never once stopped exercising. Finally, Gwen Stefani candidly told Elle that she was utterly obsessed with getting her figure back after little Kingston arrived. The only celebrity to go ahead and admit that the ways stars do it is just a bit horrifying, Stefani said she was so adamant about the process that she was still exercising two weeks before giving birth. And cried about it. Live and learn.

[Photo Credit: X17]

• OH BABY! JESSICA ALBA SHOWS OFF HER FABULOUS POST-PREGNANCY FIGURE [Daily Mail]

On a segment from the Rachael Ray show a few weeks back, a visibly exhausted and seemingly brainwashed Remini told viewers in the most melancholy of tones how addicted her daughter Sophia is to "the baba." And if self-professed Scientologist Remini is following the religion's doctrines correctly, this means she is obeying founder L. Ron Hubbard's instructions to never breastfeed and, instead, feed babies a mixture consisting of barley water, homogenized milk, and oodles of sugar-heavy honey. But this is hardly the scary part. You see, Hubbard, who we must note claimed he had visited Heaven several times during his life, also claimed he discovered this baby formula after magically traveling back in time to hang out in ancient Rome: "I picked it up in Roman days and have used it since...Modern hospital formulas and patent mixes for babies are not just bad, they are criminal." While we're pretty sure that keeping one's baby on a proper nutritional diet is the furthest thing from criminal, we're equally sure that keeping the little ones sucking down Hubbard's formula well past their third birthday isn't doing any favors for the child's social development skills. As they say, this one is developing...

[Photo Credit: INF]

• SURI CRUISE AND HER BOTTLE: IS SHE TOO OLD? [Us]
• SCIENTOLOGY'S RECIPE FOR BABY MALNUTRITION AND, QUITE POSSIBLY, INFANT BOTULISM [Chello.nl]
• Is Leah Remini A Pushover Mom? [Rachael Ray]

Translations below from email tipster:

This is Leah Remini Writing you again. Some of you may know me from
the TV show "King of Queens", but what is more important is that I
am now OT V and at one point I was a very stalled Clear. A lot of
people helped me to get OT, and I decided I was going to turn around
and help every Clear make it to OT.

Translation: This Is Leah Remini Capitalizing verbs. Because when I Do something, like Clean out the hair in the shower drain, it Deserves a capital letter. I Am famous.

A couple of months ago, you received a letter from me about an event
I was holding to help people move who were stalled on the Bridge.
Obviously you did not come and for some reason, feel you are not
indeed a "stalled Clear". Let me start with the definition of
"stalled". Not that you are-but who knows? STALL: To slow down or
halt the progress of. (American Heritage Student Dictionary). If you
are not aggressively moving on your next step-your next "Gradechart
Action", you are stalled. Look at the Gradechart, it says: Clear-
Sunshine Rundown-Solo Course Part 1-OT Preparations and so on up the
chart. If you are not on your next step as per this chart, and are
not on a prerequisite for Solo, you are stalled-plain and simple.

A couple of months ago, I sent all you ungrateful fucktards a letter about a little speech I was giving to help all of you only-halfway-to-getting-superpowers people get your asses back in supergear. No one showed up, and I ended up sitting in the church reception hall eating all the Goldfish crackers by myself while my mascara ran down my face in teary rivulets. So now hear this, assholes: if you're all sitting around at home thinking "Why would I to listen to a B-Grade actress tell me about the crazed ramblings of a Sci-Fi writer? I already think he's god", think again. Because if you're not actively maxing out your credit card to get to the next step in Scientology, which for most of you is the Rainbow Babies and Wittle Puppy Wuppy Rundown, you are NOT in supergear. Got that?

If your C/S has CS ed you for the PTS SP course, or some other
needed action to get you rolling up the GRADECHART faster, then do
it, and do it fast. I have experience being a Stalled Clear. I was
the kind of gal who went on course MAYBE a period a day, only on
weekdays, and that was ONLY if I had the time. I felt I deserved a
special award for being there and they couldn't possibly ask for
more. I remember thinking and saying out loud, "I WILL NEVER be like
those idiots who wait 10 years to go OT!" 10 years later, I hadn't
moved. I mean I did everything else but move on to Solo One.

If your handler has told you to pony up the cash for the Potential Trouble Source / Suppressive Person course, or the Pupppy Wuppy Rundown With Extra Cheese, or something else to get you indoctrinated as fast as possible, then L. Ron Tapdancing Hubbard, fucking do it. I used to be like you. I was the kind of rational person who only sacrificed 3 hours a day at my local Scientology center, refusing to give up any of my precious family time, me time, or botox time to Scientology. I remember thinking aloud, "I'm not so sure about all this Scientology shit, but goddamn, the prawns at the church resaurant rock my socks." 10 years later, I still didn't have superpowers. I even lost the part for Jane Grey in the X-Men movie.

I did
other courses, I got myself in to trouble, then needed some FPRD and
then I would finish that and it would be "my finances"... I would
hear people talk to me about other Clears and refer to them as
"stalled Clears" and I would be like "Yeah-they are totally stalled.
You guys should handle them." Never once did I think "I" was a
stalled Clear, because I was always doing something. Once my mother
told me I was stalled and I actually thought she was an idiot.
Really, I thought "Wow, she really should handle that." I also
thought she just didn't know me. My mom is OT VII and a Class VI.
She did know me and she was right. So, it is up to you now to be
honest with yourself and look at your own progress up the Bridge.

Yeah, Okay, my mom was totally wrong about a lot of things, like when she tells me to fold my socks down neatly, I don't listen to that shit, but when your mom's an OT8 with superpowers and ALSO an auditor with superpowers, you should listen up and listen good. Ok, I've never actually seen my mom bake cookies with her mind, but the ones she makes in the oven are to-fucking-die for. And ovens are kinda magical, yeah? I mean, you put totally unbaked stuff in them, and you close the door, and you turn the little knobbie things, and when you open it up again, out comes dinner. That's the kind of miraculous shit you can get with Scientology: baked cookies. Be honest with yourself: don't you want cookies? I think you do.

Do you ever wonder why you are not moving? No? Then that's an outpoint.
You are Clear, you are special, why have you not moved? Whatever the
reason, there is an answer and a solution. I don't care what it is:
you were not serviced right or fast enough, people don't get you,
you have other things going on that we don't get, you are helping
others, you are upset, you haven't been acked, your life is actually
going well, your life is not going well, there's no money there's no
time, if you were a millionaire you would do it no problem, you are
waiting for your 2D to make it, there's no urgency, you are not sure
if you have what it takes to be OT, you hated your auditor, you
don't like the parking situation...WHATEVER IT IS, IT IS STOPPING
YOU AND THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I HAVE A QUOTA TO MAKE HERE, AND IF I HAVEN'T RAISED 3 MILLION DOLLARS FOR SCIENTOLOGY BY 7PM TOMORROW, THEY'RE GONNA LOCK ME IN A ROOM WITH TOM CRUISE. IT PUTS THE MONEY IN THE COFFER, OR IT GETS THE ZAP-RAY AGAIN!

The biggest reason to believe the undated email may be authentic is that Remini was among the first to see Suri, the cloistered baby from Katie Holmes and Scientology leader Tom Cruise, or from Katie Holmes and the sperm of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, depending on whether you believe Cruise biographer Andrew Morton.

The biggest reason to believe it may be fake is that the Church of Scientology has been repeatedly accused of seeding false information about those it considers enemies.

If you have any idea whether this is real, or can translate it so the rest of us know what the hell it means, we'd love to hear from you. In the meantime, enjoy the crazy, and remember the old saying, "if your C/S has CS ed you for the PTS SP course, or some other needed action to get you rolling up the GRADECHART faster, then do it, and do it fast."

Hi!

This is Leah Remini Writing you again. Some of you may know me from
the TV show "King of Queens", but what is more important is that I
am now OT V and at one point I was a very stalled Clear. A lot of
people helped me to get OT, and I decided I was going to turn around
and help every Clear make it to OT.

A couple of months ago, you received a letter from me about an event
I was holding to help people move who were stalled on the Bridge.
Obviously you did not come and for some reason, feel you are not
indeed a "stalled Clear". Let me start with the definition of
"stalled". Not that you are-but who knows? STALL: To slow down or
halt the progress of. (American Heritage Student Dictionary). If you
are not aggressively moving on your next step-your next "Gradechart
Action", you are stalled. Look at the Gradechart, it says: Clear-
Sunshine Rundown-Solo Course Part 1-OT Preparations and so on up the
chart. If you are not on your next step as per this chart, and are
not on a prerequisite for Solo, you are stalled-plain and simple.

If your C/S has CS ed you for the PTS SP course, or some other
needed action to get you rolling up the GRADECHART faster, then do
it, and do it fast. I have experience being a Stalled Clear. I was
the kind of gal who went on course MAYBE a period a day, only on
weekdays, and that was ONLY if I had the time. I felt I deserved a
special award for being there and they couldn't possibly ask for
more. I remember thinking and saying out loud, "I WILL NEVER be like
those idiots who wait 10 years to go OT!" 10 years later, I hadn't
moved. I mean I did everything else but move on to Solo One. I did
other courses, I got myself in to trouble, then needed some FPRD and
then I would finish that and it would be "my finances"... I would
hear people talk to me about other Clears and refer to them as
"stalled Clears" and I would be like "Yeah-they are totally stalled.
You guys should handle them." Never once did I think "I" was a
stalled Clear, because I was always doing something. Once my mother
told me I was stalled and I actually thought she was an idiot.
Really, I thought "Wow, she really should handle that." I also
thought she just didn't know me. My mom is OT VII and a Class VI.
She did know me and she was right. So, it is up to you now to be
honest with yourself and look at your own progress up the Bridge.

Do you ever wonder why you are not moving? No? Then that's an outpoint.
You are Clear, you are special, why have you not moved? Whatever the
reason, there is an answer and a solution. I don't care what it is:
you were not serviced right or fast enough, people don't get you,
you have other things going on that we don't get, you are helping
others, you are upset, you haven't been acked, your life is actually
going well, your life is not going well, there's no money there's no
time, if you were a millionaire you would do it no problem, you are
waiting for your 2D to make it, there's no urgency, you are not sure
if you have what it takes to be OT, you hated your auditor, you
don't like the parking situation...WHATEVER IT IS, IT IS STOPPING
YOU AND THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT!

Why am I telling you this and who the hell am I writing you? Do you
think that I have nothing better to do with my time than write you
letters and put on events? Do you think I make some sort of
commission off you? The answer is that I don't have better things to
do than to support my group and help when I can. Clears ARE my
group. And no- I don't make a dime. Does that make you wonder, "Why
the hell does she care?". Or... "Why does the Org care?" Well, when
you do your levels you too will care. Sept 11th (9/11) kicked me in
the a&#.

I finally realized that all it takes is a few madmen to take us all
down. There I was, just running on my treadmill thinking life is
okay. I'm going on course every so often, (when I had time) and BAM!
Life has changed. I suddenly thought, "Oh my God, what if I'm stuck
in this condition again and I have to—what? Do it all over again?
Where would I go? What would I do? Would some secret Scientology
police come down and save me? Is there a secret back-up plan? I was
sure there was. But there isn't . All it would take is another
tragic event to happen again and we are all done. There will be no
planet for us to be stalled, or "just doing okay" on. There would be
nothing! The only plan is for you to move on up to OT as fast as you
can. That is the secret. Really. I am asking you to get it together.
You are in charge and responsible for what you do this lifetime. Not
being on course and not doing your next step is getting you where?
Play out the scenario-there you are being a Clear, being right about
whatever it is that is keeping you from being on course and doing
your next step. Years go by, you are making money, you have a nice
house and a nice car. You spent time with those friends you wanted
to hang out with, you cleaned out the garage, you traveled. You do
all the things that were keeping you from taking your next step.
Then what? Then you are going to move? I hate to say this but you
are lying to yourself. You need to move now, regardless of your
situation. Are you just going to keep in place what you have had
sitting there for lifetimes to come? Do you think we are just going
to be here forever? So I say knock off any critical thought right
now that you may have about me, the orgs, your FSM, your auditor,
anyone else, and contact us so we can help you. All you need to do
is just reach once and we can help. LRH was very clear on what we
need to do- obviously in some way you are out of agreement with
that. That again, is an outpoint, and we can help you with that.

You're waiting because of money? Or for your wife to do it first or
for you to strike it rich? It will not happen without your decision
to go up the levels. That is the truth. You owe it to yourself, your
family, and to mankind to move and move NOW.

In closing, this is not going to happen often. I am only doing this
again because some of you did not show. I hope to see you on
September 28th at 11:30am at the AOLA atrium for a second chance.
There will be brunch served, free of course! Do this for yourself-
just blow through whatever it is that is sitting there, and just
come. It's not going to kill you- I promise!

Much love,
Leah Remini